Tag: decisions

Digging My Own Hole

After all

The effort

I put in

You’d think

I’d learn

To enjoy it

But I know

Before long

I’ll start

To feel wronged

And then

I’ll just fucking

Destroy it

2

Under Pressure

I need time

To think it through

She said

It’s not that cut

And dried

Well you need

To hurry up

He said

As time’s not on

Our side

4

The Power Of Walking Away

I am honestly

Not interested

In whatever

You’ve got to say

It’s not like

It’ll make a difference

To how I feel

Anyway

For I have

Already decided

This relationship

Has died a death

So you may as well

Just leave me alone

And save

Your fucking breath

4

The Boxing Day Swim

It’s funny how things turn out

She said

As she tugged on her costume straps

When I was here

Last year

She said

My mind had all but collapsed

I knew after I’d entered the water

She said

That there would be no doubt

As I had decided

Feeling like I did

Death was the only way out

But these last few months I have learned

She said

Through medication and therapy

Having survived that blip

A communal dip

Is now more than enough for me

10

Autonomy

It won’t be

The fault

Of destiny

Or a hand

Fate fails

To deal

I’ll leave

Unperturbed

And without

A word

Because that’s

How I’ll fucking feel

2

Ultimatums

We don’t have

To decide tonight

We can talk

Again tomorrow

Let’s not allow

The dying light

To lead us both

Back into sorrow

0

Ramifications

I kept true to my promise

Just like I said I would

Now let’s both be honest

You fucking hate spinsterhood

Once And For All

Tell me you don’t want me

And I’ll walk away if I must

But just make sure

Your heart can endure

As you won’t see me again

For dust

(Originally Posted 15.01.2021)

0

Submitted

With a mindset shifted

And a choice insisted

An opportunity gifted

And a weight now lifted

Epitaph

Do you
ever wish
you could
just give
up?

Say
right,
that’s it,
I’ve had
enough!

I’m
done
with
all this
fucking
shit

I’m
finally
going
through
with it!

Well
I think
these
things
every
day

Those
words
to easy
for me
to say

And
so, it
seems,
my
demons
have won

For
I can
say now
I am
officially
done

(Originally Posted 13.12.2019)

0

The Sudden Calmness

They were all hoping

The blues would fade

But they were unaware

My decision was made

Rope

I know
I can’t
do this
anymore

My soul
is heavy
and my
heart
is sore

I feel
the relief
in every
pore

As I walk
along
to the
hardware
store

(Originally Posted 06.12.2019)

4

Too Late Now

I don’t know how it’s happened

And I can’t even tell you why

But, it seems, I’ve grown old

In love with the wrong fucking guy

Set In Stone

Neither of
us knows

If the life
we chose

Will work out
for the best

(Originally Posted 05.11.2019)

0

Ouch

If only I

Had seen more sense

And not fallen foul

Of my incompetence

Perhaps our relationship now

Wouldn’t be past tense

And I wouldn’t still feel

These splinters from the fence

Just Passing By

It was you

That was

The one

For me

But a future

Between us

I just

Couldn’t see

I suppose

That now

None of that

Matters

For you’ve

Moved on

While I’m left

In tatters

(Originally Posted 13.10.2020)

3

Experimentation

You were

Never destined

To be

Mrs Right

But as

Mrs Right Now

You were fun

So it’s good

That we dropped it

And eventually

Just stopped it

As no real harm

Was done

In Another Life, Perhaps

What
happened
the other
night

She
said

Must
never
happen
again

It
pains me
so much
to say it

He
said

But
we are
better off
as friends

(Originally Posted 03.09.2020)

8

‘Four Seasons In One Day’

I’ve always been indecisive

But now it’s worse than ever

The back and forth is so divisive

I’m about as reliable as the weather

Confusion

No!
No!
No!

Yes!
Yes!
Yes!

How am
I supposed
to decide
what to do

When my
head’s
in such
a mess?

(Originally Posted 22.08.2019)

4

You’ll Never See Me Again

The best thing that I ever did

Was my own fear to subdue

It may have took me a while

But nothing beats the smile

I now wear in spite of you

Soon

Life
has
been
so much
better
without
all your
bullshit
in it

Now
I know
for sure
that
I’ll soon
be removing
you
from
it

(Originally Posted 18.08.2019)

0

Unwilling To Submit

I asked for you

To give me time

And space to clear my head

But as you’ve shown

You can’t leave me alone

Let’s just call it quits instead

Over

Time may heal

Hearts can mend

Until then accept

This is the end

(Originally Posted 06.08.2019)

0

Pain Free

It was always a promise

And never a threat

I just haven’t decided

How I’ll do it, yet

Crying Wolf

Remember when I told you

I wished that I was dead

And you thought it was all

Just nonsense in my head

Well maybe now you’ll realise

You will finally get to see

The worst thing that you ever did

Was not to believe me

(Originally Posted 23.07.2021)

2

People Pleasing

I spent years people pleasing

And it wrecked my mental health

So now I don’t please anyone

Except my fucking self

I’ve Heard It All Before

Just because

What doesn’t kill me

Apparently

Makes me stronger

Doesn’t give you

An excuse

To hurt me

Any longer

(Originally Posted 17.06.2021)

17

For The Best

I never did tell him the truth

Of where I went that day

But even though I did it

I’m glad I hid it

As I could never hurt him that way

Deceit

Lying to
myself
is bad
enough

But
lying
to you
hurts
more

But
there’s
no way
I could
be truthful

That’s
for
fucking
sure

(Originally Posted 29.05.2020)

0

Old Ground

You must decide

Who you want to let go

And who it is you want to retain

For there is no way

I can spend another day

Going over all this again

Right Person / Wrong Time

I do
appreciate
what
we
had

But
lament
what
could
have
been

You
and
me
together
forever

With
nobody
inbetween

(Originally Posted 09.04.2020)

10

The Moral Compass

You may have saved me on occasion

But you have betrayed me too

So don’t make out you’re innocent

From what you’ve made me do

12

No Witnesses

If no one saw

But us two

Then who is to say

It happened

If we promise

Never to tell

Then no one else

Need be saddened

15

I’m Fine Thanks

I’m sorry you think I’ve missed you

As I haven’t given one fuck

If you thought you mattered

And my life is shattered

Well then you’re shit out of luck

27

Last In Line

If you continue to push this

She said

And I am forced to choose

You really should be prepared

She said

For the fact I won’t pick you

8

Don’t Ask Me

What would you do

If it was you

Would you risk it

Even though

You could lose

—

I have no idea

What I’d do here

So thank fuck

I don’t

Have to choose

10

From The Get Go

If I knew then

What I know now

I wouldn’t have let you stay

I’d have made sure

You saw the worst of me

And done my best

To push you away

10

The Human Shield

Did I really

Dodge that bullet

Or just hide

Behind you instead

I guess now

We’ll never know

As I’m alive

And you’re dead

27

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