Wearing away
My heart and soul
Destroying me was
Your only goal
So with your daggers
You proceeded
Until I was broken
And you’d succeeded
"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
Wearing away
My heart and soul
Destroying me was
Your only goal
So with your daggers
You proceeded
Until I was broken
And you’d succeeded
If we take away
The anger
The frustration
And the pain
It’s pretty clear
Neither one of us
Has anything
To gain
I don’t think
You appreciate
How hard it is
To stay on track
When the only steps
Available
Are two forward
And three back
Life is better
He said
Than it was
Your progress
You can’t deny
That doesn’t mean
She said
I don’t still dream
Of stabbing you
In the eye
Sleep at 3pm
No problem
But at 3am
Not a chance
What the fuck
Is wrong
With me
That sleep
At night
Just won’t
Advance
The Insomniac’s Paradox
Why should I bother
Going to bed
When there’s nothing
To wake up for
Why should I bother
Waking up
When I enjoy sleeping
So much more
(Originally Posted 03.01.2021)
I’d love to say
That things have changed
And I no longer feel
So hopeless
But the intervening time
Since writing this rhyme
Has been equally
As atrocious
Nothing
Nothing makes
me happy
Nothing makes
me smile
There’s nothing left
to look forward to
At least nothing that
feels worthwhile
(Originally Posted 28.12.2019)
Of course I remember
How it feels
Down to the very last letter
But it wouldn’t matter
What I tried
Nothing can make it better
Utterly Helpless
I really wish
I could do more
Like pick you up
from the bathroom floor
Hug you when
your heart is breaking
Give you comfort
when your bones are aching
But for as much as
your pain to me is known
This is a journey
you must walk alone
(Originally Posted 27.12.2019)
When I think over
These last few years
I really have suffered a lot
So my house may well
Now be up for sale
But my heart definitely is not
Home Sweet Home
They say
you can
never go
home
again
And I’m
starting
to believe
that’s
true
For all
that resides
here now
is a world
of pain
And
far too
many
memories
of you
(Originally Posted 17.11.2019)
If only I’d tried harder
I could have fought you more
If only I’d been smarter
I could have won the war
Fade To Black
Pull down the stars
Put out the sun
I’ve had enough
You have won
(Originally Posted 23.10.2020)
With all these plates
To keep on spinning
It’s no wonder that I
Never feel like I’m winning
Mondays
Head racing
a million
miles an hour
Heart
pounding
the same
So many
appointments
to make
So many
lions
to tame
(Originally Posted 21.10.2019)
As there was no one to pull me
Back in from the ledge
It is here I remain
Drunk and in pain
Standing perilously close to the edge
A Little More
As I fall
apart
a little
more
each day
I wonder
if I’ll
always
feel
this way
How
much
lower
can I
sink?
Who will
pull me
back
from the
brink?
(Originally Posted 13.10.2019)
It can be hard to stop
And smell the roses
When you’d rather
Be six feet under them
The Black Dog
When I heard
the black dog
barking outside
I knew I had
nowhere left
to hide
When I heard
the black dog
at my door
I knew I didn’t
have the strength
to fight anymore
Now I hear
the black dog
on my shoulder
And all I feel
is relief
that it’s over
(Originally Posted 06.09.2019)
Please do not look upon me
With your pity and dismay
For this last few years
Have taught me
Feelings aren’t shit anyway
Blackout
I
don’t
want
to feel
better
I
don’t
want
to feel
at all
(Originally Posted 21.04.2020)
Life will never be linear
He said
The path won’t always be straight
The trick is to just hold on
He said
And try your best to navigate
Trauma
But
you
were
doing
so well
He
said
I
don’t
quite
understand
Coming
back
from
hell
She
said
Doesn’t
always
go to
plan
(Originally Posted 20.04.2020)
I wrote this one
When I went back into the office
Although the thought of working
Left me feeling nauseous
I knew I had to return
And get it out of the way
But nothing really prepared me
For that difficult first day
All those well meaning people
Whose lives hadn’t changed a bit
All approaching me awkwardly
Asking how I was coping with it
Was there something they could say
Or anything they could do
Telling me they were here for me
Making sure that much I knew
I remember hiding in the bathroom
Just for a bit of peace
Hoping that back at my desk
Their annoying behaviour would cease
Then one day their fawning stopped
Like enough sympathy had been shown
And those incessant space invaders
Began to leave me the fuck alone
Space Invader
I know you are bored,
I know you are curious,
I know you are lonely,
but please,
just fuck off
and leave me alone.
(Originally Posted 12.04.2019)
I know that
It seems strange
And makes it difficult
To confabulate
But you must believe me
When I say
It is how
I best communicate
I can empathise
And respond in kind
Take my cue
From many a sign
But there is no way
I can read your mind
Down a silent
Telephone line
I thought
If I told you
How I felt
That you
Would understand
But now I realise
I was wrong
So I’m stuck
In no man’s land
Tell me all about your life
He said
And what has happened to you
You’ll need to give me a minute
She said
To think all this shit through
Words don’t cut it
Anymore
So it’s back to the knives
Instead
I really thought
I was over this
But the trauma demon
Has to be fed
Under a
crushed
velveteen
skyI lie here,
alone,
and want
to die
If
your
life
is a
traffic
jam
Then
just
step
out of
the
car
Time flies
When you’re having fun
That’s why it’s still midnight
As I’m having none
Life is hard
But so am I
That is why
Despite my efforts
I am yet to die
Things should be better now
He said
They certainly shouldn’t be worse
I really hope so
She said
For I can’t live with this curse
How
much
more
of
this
can
I take?How
many
more
times
will my
heart
break?(Two down – one to go)
Bitter
and
twistedYes,
that’s
meBut
live
my
lifeFor a
minute
or twoAnd so
would
you
fucking
be
I’ve
often
been
trickedIn
my
lifeBut
rarely
ever
been
treatedSo
it
shouldn’t
beAny
wonder
reallyWhy
I always
sound so
defeated
Why
don’t
you
Swap
places
with me
Sink
to the
depths
That
I have
been
For
if you
suffered
The
way
I do
Perhaps
you’d
feel
The
same
way
too
Such
a broken
heartened
man
In a
broken
hearted
land
If
only
I could
see you
I
would
squeeze
your
hand
And
never
let it
go
Give it to me hard
Give it to me rough
I honestly won’t mind
If you act a little tough
Squeeze me a little too tightly
Pinch me a little too hard
I just want to feel something
That doesn’t leave me scarred
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