Tag: difficulties

That’s Life

Wearing away

My heart and soul

Destroying me was

Your only goal

So with your daggers

You proceeded

Until I was broken

And you’d succeeded

2

Punching Bags

If we take away

The anger

The frustration

And the pain

It’s pretty clear

Neither one of us

Has anything

To gain

2

Snakes & Ladders

I don’t think

You appreciate

How hard it is

To stay on track

When the only steps

Available

Are two forward

And three back

4

Turning Night Into Day

Sleep at 3pm

No problem

But at 3am

Not a chance

What the fuck

Is wrong

With me

That sleep

At night

Just won’t

Advance

The Insomniac’s Paradox

Why should I bother
Going to bed
When there’s nothing
To wake up for

Why should I bother
Waking up
When I enjoy sleeping
So much more

(Originally Posted 03.01.2021)

12

Relentless

I’d love to say

That things have changed

And I no longer feel

So hopeless

But the intervening time

Since writing this rhyme

Has been equally

As atrocious

Nothing

Nothing makes
me happy

Nothing makes
me smile

There’s nothing left
to look forward to

At least nothing that
feels worthwhile

(Originally Posted 28.12.2019)

6

Looking On

Of course I remember

How it feels

Down to the very last letter

But it wouldn’t matter

What I tried

Nothing can make it better

Utterly Helpless

I really wish
I could do more

Like pick you up
from the bathroom floor

Hug you when
your heart is breaking

Give you comfort
when your bones are aching

But for as much as
your pain to me is known

This is a journey
you must walk alone

(Originally Posted 27.12.2019)

10

Upping Sticks

When I think over

These last few years

I really have suffered a lot

So my house may well

Now be up for sale

But my heart definitely is not

Home Sweet Home

They say
you can
never go
home
again

And I’m
starting
to believe
that’s
true

For all
that resides
here now
is a world
of pain

And
far too
many
memories
of you

(Originally Posted 17.11.2019)

0

Behind Enemy Lines

If only I’d tried harder

I could have fought you more

If only I’d been smarter

I could have won the war

Fade To Black

Pull down the stars

Put out the sun

I’ve had enough

You have won

(Originally Posted 23.10.2020)

0

Thank Fuck It’s Friday

With all these plates

To keep on spinning

It’s no wonder that I

Never feel like I’m winning

Mondays

Head racing
a million
miles an hour

Heart
pounding
the same

So many
appointments
to make

So many
lions
to tame

(Originally Posted 21.10.2019)

2

So Close

As there was no one to pull me

Back in from the ledge

It is here I remain

Drunk and in pain

Standing perilously close to the edge

A Little More

As I fall
apart
a little
more
each day

I wonder
if I’ll
always
feel
this way

How
much
lower
can I
sink?

Who will
pull me
back
from the
brink?

(Originally Posted 13.10.2019)

4

The Black Baccara

It can be hard to stop

And smell the roses

When you’d rather

Be six feet under them

The Black Dog

When I heard
the black dog
barking outside

I knew I had
nowhere left
to hide

When I heard
the black dog
at my door

I knew I didn’t
have the strength
to fight anymore

Now I hear
the black dog
on my shoulder

And all I feel
is relief
that it’s over

(Originally Posted 06.09.2019)

0

Overrated

Please do not look upon me

With your pity and dismay

For this last few years

Have taught me

Feelings aren’t shit anyway

Blackout

I
don’t
want
to feel
better

I
don’t
want
to feel
at all

(Originally Posted 21.04.2020)

3

Best Laid Plans

Life will never be linear

He said

The path won’t always be straight

The trick is to just hold on

He said

And try your best to navigate

Trauma

But
you
were
doing
so well

He
said

I
don’t
quite
understand

Coming
back
from
hell

She
said

Doesn’t
always
go to
plan

(Originally Posted 20.04.2020)

5

Console(d)

I wrote this one

When I went back into the office

Although the thought of working

Left me feeling nauseous

I knew I had to return

And get it out of the way

But nothing really prepared me

For that difficult first day

All those well meaning people

Whose lives hadn’t changed a bit

All approaching me awkwardly

Asking how I was coping with it

Was there something they could say

Or anything they could do

Telling me they were here for me

Making sure that much I knew

I remember hiding in the bathroom

Just for a bit of peace

Hoping that back at my desk

Their annoying behaviour would cease

Then one day their fawning stopped

Like enough sympathy had been shown

And those incessant space invaders

Began to leave me the fuck alone

Space Invader

I know you are bored,
I know you are curious,
I know you are lonely,
but please,
just fuck off
and leave me alone.

(Originally Posted 12.04.2019)

4

Screaming

I know that

It seems strange

And makes it difficult

To confabulate

But you must believe me

When I say

It is how

I best communicate

7

Speak Up

I can empathise

And respond in kind

Take my cue

From many a sign

But there is no way

I can read your mind

Down a silent

Telephone line

18

Settle In

Tell me all about your life

He said

And what has happened to you

You’ll need to give me a minute

She said

To think all this shit through

22

Two Steps Back

Words don’t cut it

Anymore

So it’s back to the knives

Instead

I really thought

I was over this

But the trauma demon

Has to be fed

26

Solo

Time flies

When you’re having fun

That’s why it’s still midnight

As I’m having none

16

After The Exorcism

Things should be better now

He said

They certainly shouldn’t be worse

I really hope so

She said

For I can’t live with this curse

0

In My Shoes

Bitter
and
twisted

Yes,
that’s
me

But
live
my
life

For a
minute
or two

And so
would
you
fucking
be

12

Fancily Dressed

I’ve
often
been
tricked

In
my
life

But
rarely
ever
been
treated

So
it
shouldn’t
be

Any
wonder
really

Why
I always
sound so
defeated

18

The Switch

Why
don’t
you

Swap
places
with me

Sink
to the
depths

That
I have
been

For
if you
suffered

The
way
I do

Perhaps
you’d
feel

The
same
way
too

19

Squeeze

Such
a broken
heartened
man

In a
broken
hearted
land

If
only
I could
see you

I
would
squeeze
your
hand

And
never
let it
go

0

The Transaction

Give it to me hard

Give it to me rough

I honestly won’t mind

If you act a little tough

Squeeze me a little too tightly

Pinch me a little too hard

I just want to feel something

That doesn’t leave me scarred

0

HeadRoom

I
did
not
realise

That
space
in my
head

Would
still be
filled
by you

Even
though
you’re
dead

6

Drunk, Down and Potentially Out

Yet another day with the urge to quit

How the fuck do I deal with it

Without you by my side

With all your love and kindness to me me denied

Perhaps I should just put it all to an end

Rather than continue going around the bend

As hanging on has never been worth it

Not when I face this tsunami of bullshit

10

The Overthinker

Time to
get some
sleep

He
said

You can
do that
another day

If only
it was
that easy

She
said

To pack
my brain
away

9

Separated

I
wish
you were
here with me

All
these
tales we
could share

But
yet we
find we’re
both alone

So
into the
depths
we stare

3

The Human Rattle

Take
these
pills

To
cure
your
ills

And
mend
your
broken
heart

They’ll
give
you
chills

And
delay
your
thrills

But at
least
it’ll
be a
start

13

At Heart

I
remember
what you
would say

To
hurt
and to
annoy

But I
always
forgave
you

In
the
end

For you
were just
a little
boy

2

Stand Well Back

I’ve
never
thought
of myself
as strong

But I
suppose
I have
stuck
it out
this
long

Although
somewhat
broken,
bloodied
and
bruised

I’m
very
much
still
here
to light
the fuse

14

I Understand

I know
I won’t
see you
for a
while

And
that
just
makes
me sad

For
although
you don’t
feel the
same way

You’re the
closest
friend
I’ve ever
had

6

The Final Fling

I hope
I’ve done
the right
thing

For as
yet you
have not
replied

Perhaps
this is
finally
the end

I guess
I’ll wait
for you
to decide

4

GameFace

All I do is let
people down

They want
me to smile

But I can
only frown

For I no longer
have the energy

To be the person
they want me to be

10

Many A Moon

As that
day draws
ever closer

The pain
cannot be
avoided

To think
it was just
a year ago

When my
whole world
imploded

0

Support

I can’t
stay,
she said,
I have
to go
back

It’s the
only way
to get my
life back
on track

I’ll come
with you,
he said,
you don’t
have to go
on your own

I’m here to
help you
through
so you’ll
never
be alone

0

Done In

There’s
only so
much I
can write

Before
I go
to sleep
tonight

My
eyes are
heavy and
overtired

My
head is
weary and
overfired

2

The Anniversary

It will
soon be
a year,
without
you here,
and I
don’t
know
what
to do.

For I’m
still
nowhere
near,
facing
my fear,
or the
reality
of losing
you.

Xxx

17

Please

If this is all there is,

then who are you

to tell me no?

You have no idea,

how hard this is

so please, just let me go.

2

A Chore

If only I
could pair
beautiful
imagery with
my words,
lilting melody
to my song,
revelatory
meaning to
my poetry…

Perhaps it
wouldn’t
bore the
shit out
of you
as much
to read it,
as it
does me to
write it.

0

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