Upping Sticks

When I think over

These last few years

I really have suffered a lot

So my house may well

Now be up for sale

But my heart definitely is not


Home Sweet Home

They say
you can
never go
home
again

And I’m
starting
to believe
that’s
true

For all
that resides
here now
is a world
of pain

And
far too
many
memories
of you

(Originally Posted 17.11.2019)

Behind Enemy Lines

If only I’d tried harder

I could have fought you more

If only I’d been smarter

I could have won the war


Fade To Black

Pull down the stars

Put out the sun

I’ve had enough

You have won

(Originally Posted 23.10.2020)

Thank Fuck It’s Friday

With all these plates

To keep on spinning

It’s no wonder that I

Never feel like I’m winning


Mondays

Head racing
a million
miles an hour

Heart
pounding
the same

So many
appointments
to make

So many
lions
to tame

(Originally Posted 21.10.2019)

So Close

As there was no one to pull me

Back in from the ledge

It is here I remain

Drunk and in pain

Standing perilously close to the edge


A Little More

As I fall
apart
a little
more
each day

I wonder
if I’ll
always
feel
this way

How
much
lower
can I
sink?

Who will
pull me
back
from the
brink?

(Originally Posted 13.10.2019)

The Black Baccara

It can be hard to stop

And smell the roses

When you’d rather

Be six feet under them


The Black Dog

When I heard
the black dog
barking outside

I knew I had
nowhere left
to hide

When I heard
the black dog
at my door

I knew I didn’t
have the strength
to fight anymore

Now I hear
the black dog
on my shoulder

And all I feel
is relief
that it’s over

(Originally Posted 06.09.2019)

Overrated

Please do not look upon me

With your pity and dismay

For this last few years

Have taught me

Feelings aren’t shit anyway


Blackout

I
don’t
want
to feel
better

I
don’t
want
to feel
at all

(Originally Posted 21.04.2020)

Best Laid Plans

Life will never be linear

He said

The path won’t always be straight

The trick is to just hold on

He said

And try your best to navigate


Trauma

But
you
were
doing
so well

He
said

I
don’t
quite
understand

Coming
back
from
hell

She
said

Doesn’t
always
go to
plan

(Originally Posted 20.04.2020)

Console(d)

I wrote this one

When I went back into the office

Although the thought of working

Left me feeling nauseous

I knew I had to return

And get it out of the way

But nothing really prepared me

For that difficult first day

All those well meaning people

Whose lives hadn’t changed a bit

All approaching me awkwardly

Asking how I was coping with it

Was there something they could say

Or anything they could do

Telling me they were here for me

Making sure that much I knew

I remember hiding in the bathroom

Just for a bit of peace

Hoping that back at my desk

Their annoying behaviour would cease

Then one day their fawning stopped

Like enough sympathy had been shown

And those incessant space invaders

Began to leave me the fuck alone


Space Invader

I know you are bored,
I know you are curious,
I know you are lonely,
but please,
just fuck off
and leave me alone.

(Originally Posted 12.04.2019)

Screaming

I know that

It seems strange

And makes it difficult

To confabulate

But you must believe me

When I say

It is how

I best communicate

Speak Up

I can empathise

And respond in kind

Take my cue

From many a sign

But there is no way

I can read your mind

Down a silent

Telephone line

Settle In

Tell me all about your life

He said

And what has happened to you

You’ll need to give me a minute

She said

To think all this shit through

Two Steps Back

Words don’t cut it

Anymore

So it’s back to the knives

Instead

I really thought

I was over this

But the trauma demon

Has to be fed

Solo

Time flies

When you’re having fun

That’s why it’s still midnight

As I’m having none

After The Exorcism

Things should be better now

He said

They certainly shouldn’t be worse

I really hope so

She said

For I can’t live with this curse

In My Shoes

Bitter
and
twisted

Yes,
that’s
me

But
live
my
life

For a
minute
or two

And so
would
you
fucking
be

Fancily Dressed

I’ve
often
been
tricked

In
my
life

But
rarely
ever
been
treated

So
it
shouldn’t
be

Any
wonder
really

Why
I always
sound so
defeated

The Switch

Why
don’t
you

Swap
places
with me

Sink
to the
depths

That
I have
been

For
if you
suffered

The
way
I do

Perhaps
you’d
feel

The
same
way
too

Squeeze

Such
a broken
heartened
man

In a
broken
hearted
land

If
only
I could
see you

I
would
squeeze
your
hand

And
never
let it
go

The Transaction

Give it to me hard

Give it to me rough

I honestly won’t mind

If you act a little tough

Squeeze me a little too tightly

Pinch me a little too hard

I just want to feel something

That doesn’t leave me scarred

HeadRoom

I
did
not
realise

That
space
in my
head

Would
still be
filled
by you

Even
though
you’re
dead

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