"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
Complicated relationships
May be all I’ve ever known
Yet it seems the baggage
That you come along with
By far outweighs my own
Tussle
I don’t want to just be friends
I don’t want to let this go
You may be able to walk away
But this is all I know
(Originally Posted 01.02.2021)
Most days I do
Enjoy my work
And I welcome
The distraction
But as time goes by
It’s getting harder to try
And fake a positive reaction
(Anti) Social Work
I
think
I would
be
So
much
more
forgiving
If
I didn’t
have
To
work
for a
living
(Originally Posted 30.01.2020)
If only I’d have listened
To people back in the day
Everyone who told me
This would end in disarray
Then I wouldn’t ever have known
Such misery and dismay
But I’d never have felt love either
And for that I was willing to pay
Mum Knows Best
Why
didn’t
you
follow
your
dreams?
She
said
Using
your
good
humour
and wit
Now
you’ve
got no
choice
She
said
But
to put
up with
his
bullshit
(Originally Posted 29.01.2020)
At least you
Can look away
When the misery
Ensues
But these aren’t just
Words to me
They are actually
My issues
Well, You Asked…
Although
I find
your
writing
talent
genuinely
quite
considerable
Reading
your
words
over
again
really
does just
make me
miserable
(Originally Posted 28.01.2020)
I don’t write
About nice things
Love and all that shit
If you want to read
About nice things
You won’t like this one bit
All That Matters
Not much of this is pretty
Very little here is smart
Quite often it is shitty
But it’s always from the heart
(Originally Posted 10.01.2021)
A family now
Torn apart
Proved fertile ground
For my art
Finding Fault
All
you
do
He
said
Is
whine
and
moan
I’m
surprised
anyone
reads
this
pish
Well,
maybe
if you
She
said
Weren’t
such a
prick
My
words
wouldn’t
so easily
flourish
(Originally Posted 10.01.2021)
We hate it
They say
When you act that way
Hurting yourself
Really saddens us
If only
I say
There was another way
As this is hardly
Fucking glamorous
Unsafe Thoughts
Please,
take
away
my
knives
And put
those
razors
in the
bin
For
the
urge
to cut
is rising
To
bleed
out the
pain
within
(Originally Posted 09.01.2020)
You think that when
Someone dies
It’s the big things
That you’ll miss
But what causes pain
To grieving brain
Is missing the small things
That they did
Even A Broken Clock Is Right Twice A Day
I can’t
even
change
The time
on the
oven
It’s just
one more
thing
I have
discovered
Since
you’ve
gone
(Originally Posted 04.01.2020)
It seems I missed
The trip that day
You went
To the optimism farm
I was probably at home
With an ‘on silent’ phone
Sleeping soundly
Through the alarm
Optimism
If I
had
any
spare
I’d
give
some
to you
But
I only
have
enough
To
get
myself
through
This
bullshit
they call
life
(Originally Posted 03.01.2020)
I know you put
A brave face on
I know as I did it
Myself
Not just because
You’re thinking of others
But more to protect
Yourself
Are You Okay?
I want to ask
But I’m far too scared
For I already know
As into those depths
I’ve stared
(Originally Posted 02.01.2020)
Of course I remember
How it feels
Down to the very last letter
But it wouldn’t matter
What I tried
Nothing can make it better
Utterly Helpless
I really wish
I could do more
Like pick you up
from the bathroom floor
Hug you when
your heart is breaking
Give you comfort
when your bones are aching
But for as much as
your pain to me is known
This is a journey
you must walk alone
(Originally Posted 27.12.2019)
‘When you’re used
Bruised
Black and blued
Don’t think about it
Never doubt it
I’ll walk beside you…’
“We are all born mad. Some remain so.”
– Samuel Beckett
Run around
Jump up and down
That arrogant prick
Has just left town
As it turns out
He was a brutish lout
Intent on flinging my heart about
Next time I’ll know
Not to lower my wall
And for romantic bullshit
I will not fall
Quickstep
Run around
Jump up and down
There’s a new love in town!
He’s really neat
And ever so sweet
This black heart skips a beat
I think that now
I’m ready for more
As I wait for him to whisk me
Across the dancefloor
(Originally Posted 21.12.2020)
Sometimes I wonder
If I made it out alive
Or if I’m actually still dead
I mean I know
I put on a good show
But I’d rather just feel it instead
But Still Alive
Mired in madness
Subsumed in sadness
Buried here forever
Lost in blackness
(Originally Posted 12.12.2019)
Reading this one back again
I feel so sorry for her
Clearly she lost more,
When he died,
Than her words could ever infer
I Can’t Bring You Back Though, Can I?
I can look at your photo
I can whisper your name
I can press your shirt
Against my face
But nothing feels the same
(Originally Posted 11.12.2020)
“You’ll never watch your life slide out of view…”
“Someone once asked me: ‘why do you love music so much?’ I replied: ‘because it’s the only thing that stays when everything and everyone is gone.'”
– Kid Cudi
I think we both knew
Deep down
That she would soon
Become another
That you’d be left
A husband bereft
And your kids
Without their mother
Now I know
That she had longer
And to her death
You had all faced up
Still it pains me so much
To see you
In the Under 50’s
Widow’s club
The News Nobody Wants
I hope
it all
goes well
today
I hope
with
all my
heart
For I
couldn’t
bear
for you
To live
as I
now do
And
have
your lives
torn apart
(Originally Posted 28.11.2019)
“Think of your feelings as friends to be understood, not enemies to be fought.”
– Alan D Wolfelt
A tale of love
Unrequited,
Ever so sad
Yet I’m secretly
Delighted
To have experienced it.
Otherwise,
How would I have known?
‘You Can’t Always Get What You Want’
It’s not you
It’s not me
It’s just the way
It has to be
(Originally Posted 21.11.2020)
After all is said and done
With battles lost and wars won
I’m starting to think differently
And relationships now are not for me
Expired
If you no longer love each other
Then what’s the fucking point
Just staying together to destroy each other
Noses always out of joint
Why not just call it quits
As it’s clear neither of you tries
That has to be better than being miserable
Until one of the two of you dies
(Originally Posted 12.11.2021)
“What you really want is someone you can hang around with on a Sunday afternoon and watch a TV show with, and do nothing, and feel like it’s the most fun ever.”
– Aziz Ansari
If anyone asked
About my rhymes
I would most likely show them this
It’s an apt expression
Of my abject depression
And defines my blog’s premise
Innards
Like a
bird
Trapped
in it’s
cage
I sing
of love
and
lament
Bleeding
both
Introspective
rage
And
embittered
discontent
(Originally Posted 28.10.2020)
“People think that I’m sort of okay, you know, like I’m getting on with it. I’m snarky now and again and that this is the lapse – but it’s not. This is me all the time now.
Everything else is the fun, you know.
I’m not well, but I remember what it was like to be normal so I do an impression of that. But this is what I really am. And I want to be normal again. But I’m weak, you know.”
– Tony
All those little things
That you think matter
Mean literally nothing
When your heart is shattered
Flowers
You never
once
bought
me flowers
Which used
to make
me mad
Now I don’t
give a fuck
about any
of that stuff
I just
want you
back
(Originally Posted 20.10.2019)
If you’ve ever planned a funeral
Then I’m sure you’ll relate to this
It’s easy not to crack
When focused on the task
But when it’s done, you fall to shit
Keeping Busy
It’s been
a busy
few days
In
many
ways
But now all
my tasks are
completed
So with
nothing
left to do
I’ll soon
be thinking
of you
And how
I’ve been left
feeling cheated
(Originally Posted 17.10.2019)
‘So I’ve made my mind up
I must live my life alone
And though it’s not the easy way
I guess I’ve always known
I’d say goodbye to love…’
I would be lying
If, after he lay dying,
I said I returned all of his medication
That I didn’t at least keep some
To peruse and choose from
In any future difficult situation
Well, in fact, I did
And with how many I hid
I could have force fed the nation
So, dead behind the eyes,
Full of prescribed pills and otherwise
I fulfilled each and every obligation
Acceptance
I
asked
the
doctor
When
will the
tablets
work?
When do
they take
away my
hurt?
Nothing
will
do that,
she said
They
only
make it
so you
get out
of bed
I
asked
the
doctor
Are
you
sure?
Won’t
you do
something
more?
There’s
nothing
else I
can do,
she said
You just
have to
accept
that he
is dead
(Originally Posted 12.10.2019)
I guess I am
A misanthrope
Born as I was
Devoid of hope
Destined across
The world to mope
Forever trying
To avoid the rope
Misanthropic Me
People
never
cease to
disgust
and
disappoint
me in
equal measure
Perhaps
that’s
why my
life is
full of
discomfort
and
displeasure
(Originally Posted 09.10.2019)
I will keep saying it
Until I am blue in the face
That I was effectively widowed
At thirty eight years old
Is an absolute fucking disgrace
Leaving
Now it’s
time
for me
leave
Please
don’t
make a
fuss
It’s not
the end
of the
world
It’s
just
the end
of us
(Originally Posted 08.10.2019)
What’s the point
In dressing it up
And trying to be all poetic
Telling the truth
However uncouth
Will forever be my aesthetic
Blunt
I
wish
you
were
here
with
me
But
instead
I’m
all
alone
If
only
you
would
write
a letter
Or
call
me on
the
phone
It
would be
wonderful
to FaceTime
Or
if
you
texted
me
instead
But
I know
you
won’t
do any
of these
You
can’t
Because
you’re
dead
(Originally Posted 08.10.2020)
There,
she said,
I’ve
told my
truth
There
isn’t
any
more
Well
I am
glad
you
stayed,
he said,
As
that
wasn’t
boring
at all
Telling Tales
Why don’t
you stay
here
a while,
he said,
and have
a cup
of tea
But
I don’t
understand,
she said,
why would
you want
to talk
to me?
You’ve
got a tale
to tell,
he said,
and I
would
like to
hear
more
Well
you’ll
be sad
to find,
she said,
that I’m
just a
crashing
bore
(Originally Posted 04.09.2019)
I kow you’re out there
Selling your story
Accepting sympathy
Basking in glory
But remember I know
Those who dance to your tune
All know, deep down,
The truth about you
(Prick)ing At Your Conscience
Think
whatever
you
want
about
me
Speak
shit
to
whoever
will
listen
But
believe
me
when
I say
I
won’t
ever
rue
the
day
That
you
created
this
division
(Originally Posted 02.10.2020)
The first time
It was fine
As I was young and naive
I didn’t know
Where it would go
So it was easy to just believe
But now I’m older
And my heart colder
I need to be assured
That you intend
To keep up your end
Before my commitment is secured
Going Down The Rabbit Hole
If you don’t mean what you say,
Perhaps we should both just walk away.
Now.
(Originally Posted 02.10.2020)
I have never spoken
About that night
As to betray him
Would be be unfair
He only hit on me
Because he was ill, you see,
And his ability to judge
Impaired
Indiscretion
It was
what
it was
And
whilst
we
had
fun
Now
it is
what
it is
The
guilt
has
begun
(Originally Posted 01.10.2019)
‘You are my new inspiration…
My muse
And I mean that not as a compliment’
Some have beauty
Some have braun
Some have charm and flair
Some of them even
Have half a brain
But to you they never compare
First Sight
It
was
clear
to me
The
moment
we met
That
you’d
be the
one
I’d
least
regret
Xxx
(Originally Posted 30.09.2020)
I’m not usually very good
With metaphors
But this one is pretty neat
Then I guess it would be
As it was conceived
While in the back seat of a Mini
Car Trouble
Nothing makes this better
Everything makes it worse
A body straining in first gear
But a mind stuck in reverse
(Originally Posted 28.09.2019)
The title says it all
She said
There’s nothing else to know
Sometimes there’s no big mystery
She said
It is just my truth on show
Bleak As Fuck
I
told you
a lie
yesterday
I said
I felt better
and that
I’m okay
When the
actual truth
is I hope
and pray
That I
won’t live
another
day
(Originally Posted 19.09.2019)
Do you think
He said
That you drink too much
Trust me
She said
It’s nowhere near enough
The Trouble With Juniper
Nobody
knows
the
trouble
I’ve seen
The loves
and the
losses and
everything
in-between
On one
too many
gin bottles
I have
relied
To keep
all of my
secrets
hidden
inside
(Originally Posted 18.09.2019)
When feelings
Are so intrinsic
Language
Is best kept simplistic
Random #19
It
just
fucking
hurts
(Originally Posted 14.09.2019)
I know what you did
That day
How you made sure
Your pain
Stopped
Were You Afraid Of Dying?
It
was
awful
to see
you
waste
away
Neither
of us
knowing
why
Now
my
only
hope
Is
you
are
smoking
dope
At
that
great
gig in
the
sky
Xxx
(Originally Posted 07.09.2020)
It doesn’t compare
It’s not the same thing
I lost the man completely
Not just my wedding ring
That Morning
You
can
try
to
imagine
But
you
can
never
know
How
much
it
tore
me
apart
When
I had
to let
him go
Xxx
(Originally Posted 07.09.2020)
Sometimes it is sadness
Sometimes it’s deep frustration
But mostly it’s just
That I still feel lost
In this whole fucking situation
Hold Me
Words
can
not
describe
the
hurt
As my
tears
fall
onto
your
shirt
Xxx
(Originally Posted 07.09.2020)
I reach
for his
hand
Every
day
But
nothing
makes
The
pain
go away
That
It’s
just not
right
That you
won’t be
here when
I look
tonight
It’s
just not
fair
That I’ll
reach for
your hand
and it won’t
be there
(Originally Posted 07.09.2019)
People say things
Get better with time
Which may be their truth
But it isn’t mine
Not Long Now
Each day brings
Yet more false hope
Along with an another
Earth shattering new low
I really am just
Biding my time now
Waiting until
It’s my turn to go
(Originally Posted 27.08.2019)
“When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. The misinformation will feel unfair but stay above it. Trust that other people will eventually see the truth – just like you did”
– Anon
You should be given a manual
For when your loved one dies
Not just on how to cope with grief
But practical advice
There’s so many things you have to do
When you’re under all that pressure
It’s no wonder some things are forgotten
And then they’re lost, forever
I Should Have Done It Back Then
The last link
Has been ripped away
Our final tether
Is severed
And all I can hear
Is your voice
Telling me
That I really should’ve done better
Xxx
You may be surprised
To learn in fact
This one doesn’t refer
To a suicide pact
It is actually based
On my favourite date
When we took MDMA
And left the rest to fate
Eternity
Counting the days
Counting the hours
You bring the wine
I’ll bring the flowers
Counting the minutes
Counting the seconds
We’ll both take a pill
As eternity beckons
(Originally Posted 15.08.2019)
Yet I didn’t slip away
Quietly
I remained
And caused a fuss
I got my head down
And stuck around
To tell the story
Of us
‘Slip Away, Quietly’
All
happiness
is fleeting
All
sadness
is depleting
I am
no longer
competing
As from
sanity
I am
retreating
(Originally Posted 14.08.2019)
Why don’t you come over
He said
And spend time with me today
Because I’m better off alone
She said
I’ve learned that the hard way
Power
I’ve walked
along
this road
before
Feeling
lonely
and
insecure
At least
this time
I know
for sure
You
cannot
hurt me
anymore
(Originally Posted 11.08.2019)
And we all know why that is, don’t we?
We all know what you stole
Any trust in men
Was taken when
You denied me any control
Don’t Touch Me
People
like me
can never
be loved
It’s something we
won’t allow
People
like me
can never
be loved
We simply don’t
know how
(Originally Posted 31.07.2019)
I remember that night so well
Even though I don’t remember his face
I felt so guilty
Thinking they should commit me
Just for craving his embrace
Guilty
I got lost
in his eyes
when he spoke to me
and, for a moment,
I wondered what
it would be like
to hold his hand.
I’m sorry.
(Originally Posted 30.07.2019)
The microdosing experiment was shortlived, thankfully
As if it continued
I think I would’ve broken through that fifth wall
And bricked it up behind me
Never to return
A Long Forty Eight Hours
If you stare
at the same four walls
for long enough,
a fifth can start
to appear.
Perhaps it’s then
you’re supposed to
realise that
the end is near.
If you stare
at the same four walls
for long enough,
your mind can
start to bend.
Perhaps it’s then
you’re supposed to
know it’s the
beginning of the end
(Originally Posted 28.07.2019)
You said you’d had enough
Back then
That you’d heard it all before
But I always knew
With these words I spew
You’d keep coming back for more
With A Wink
You
really
are
He
said
Without
doubt
The
most
depressing
woman
I’ve
met
Really
She
said
That
is a
shame
As
you
ain’t
seen
nothing
yet
(Originally Posted 23.07.2020)
Now the worst has happened
And the handover is complete
There is nothing I can say or do
To help him back to his feet
Handover
You’ll
never
cope
She
said
When
this
happens
to you
I
know
He
said
I’m
dreading
it too
(Originally Posted 16.07.2020)
I hope never again
To find myself
Walking along this path
I’ve been through such a lot
That I’m pretty much shot
So I doubt I would make it back
Depression (Part 2)
Eat until you’re sick
Snap until you bruise
Run until you’re limp
Drink a shit load of booze
Spend until you’re skint
Sleep until you’re sore
Cry until you’re empty
Sleep around like a whore
Shout until you’re hoarse
Cut until you bleed
Work until you drop
Smoke a shedload of weed
Lie until you’re spent
Smile until you’re alone
Write until you’re wrung
Forget all you’ve ever known
(Originally Posted 15.07.2019)
Back before
I was heart broken
And became
Such a misery
I was capable
Of having fun
Which I did,
Consistently
This is one
Of many stories
From when I was
The queen of frolicking
To think how I was then
Compared to now
Is quite simply
Astonishing
If I could roll back
The years
And talk
To a younger me
I would tell her
‘Don’t just pick one fella’
And keep living your life
Care free
A Love Quadrangle
It
should
be
me
Said
man
number
one
I’ve
been
here
from
the
start
It
should
be
me
Said
man
number
two
I’d
never
break
her
heart
It
should
be
me
Said
man
number
three
I
see
her
playful
side
Please,
stop
arguing
boys
She
said
You
couldn’t
handle
me if
you
tried!
(Originally Posted 30.06.2020)
If only I could make it better
But there is no way that I can
For you have lost her forever
Just the same as I lost my man
Real Talk
It
hurts
my
heart
To
hear
you
cry
And
watch
you
break
Like
this
As
your
life
Falls
apart
And
you
stare
Into
the
abyss
(Originally Posted 25.06.2020)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
You must be logged in to post a comment.