"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
Most days I do
Enjoy my work
And I welcome
The distraction
But as time goes by
It’s getting harder to try
And fake a positive reaction
(Anti) Social Work
I
think
I would
be
So
much
more
forgiving
If
I didn’t
have
To
work
for a
living
(Originally Posted 30.01.2020)
If only I’d have listened
To people back in the day
Everyone who told me
This would end in disarray
Then I wouldn’t ever have known
Such misery and dismay
But I’d never have felt love either
And for that I was willing to pay
Mum Knows Best
Why
didn’t
you
follow
your
dreams?
She
said
Using
your
good
humour
and wit
Now
you’ve
got no
choice
She
said
But
to put
up with
his
bullshit
(Originally Posted 29.01.2020)
At least you
Can look away
When the misery
Ensues
But these aren’t just
Words to me
They are actually
My issues
Well, You Asked…
Although
I find
your
writing
talent
genuinely
quite
considerable
Reading
your
words
over
again
really
does just
make me
miserable
(Originally Posted 28.01.2020)
I don’t write
About nice things
Love and all that shit
If you want to read
About nice things
You won’t like this one bit
All That Matters
Not much of this is pretty
Very little here is smart
Quite often it is shitty
But it’s always from the heart
(Originally Posted 10.01.2021)
A family now
Torn apart
Proved fertile ground
For my art
Finding Fault
All
you
do
He
said
Is
whine
and
moan
I’m
surprised
anyone
reads
this
pish
Well,
maybe
if you
She
said
Weren’t
such a
prick
My
words
wouldn’t
so easily
flourish
(Originally Posted 10.01.2021)
We hate it
They say
When you act that way
Hurting yourself
Really saddens us
If only
I say
There was another way
As this is hardly
Fucking glamorous
Unsafe Thoughts
Please,
take
away
my
knives
And put
those
razors
in the
bin
For
the
urge
to cut
is rising
To
bleed
out the
pain
within
(Originally Posted 09.01.2020)
You think that when
Someone dies
It’s the big things
That you’ll miss
But what causes pain
To grieving brain
Is missing the small things
That they did
Even A Broken Clock Is Right Twice A Day
I can’t
even
change
The time
on the
oven
It’s just
one more
thing
I have
discovered
Since
you’ve
gone
(Originally Posted 04.01.2020)
It seems I missed
The trip that day
You went
To the optimism farm
I was probably at home
With an ‘on silent’ phone
Sleeping soundly
Through the alarm
Optimism
If I
had
any
spare
I’d
give
some
to you
But
I only
have
enough
To
get
myself
through
This
bullshit
they call
life
(Originally Posted 03.01.2020)
I know you put
A brave face on
I know as I did it
Myself
Not just because
You’re thinking of others
But more to protect
Yourself
Are You Okay?
I want to ask
But I’m far too scared
For I already know
As into those depths
I’ve stared
(Originally Posted 02.01.2020)
Of course I remember
How it feels
Down to the very last letter
But it wouldn’t matter
What I tried
Nothing can make it better
Utterly Helpless
I really wish
I could do more
Like pick you up
from the bathroom floor
Hug you when
your heart is breaking
Give you comfort
when your bones are aching
But for as much as
your pain to me is known
This is a journey
you must walk alone
(Originally Posted 27.12.2019)
‘When you’re used
Bruised
Black and blued
Don’t think about it
Never doubt it
I’ll walk beside you…’
“We are all born mad. Some remain so.”
– Samuel Beckett
Run around
Jump up and down
That arrogant prick
Has just left town
As it turns out
He was a brutish lout
Intent on flinging my heart about
Next time I’ll know
Not to lower my wall
And for romantic bullshit
I will not fall
Quickstep
Run around
Jump up and down
There’s a new love in town!
He’s really neat
And ever so sweet
This black heart skips a beat
I think that now
I’m ready for more
As I wait for him to whisk me
Across the dancefloor
(Originally Posted 21.12.2020)
Sometimes I wonder
If I made it out alive
Or if I’m actually still dead
I mean I know
I put on a good show
But I’d rather just feel it instead
But Still Alive
Mired in madness
Subsumed in sadness
Buried here forever
Lost in blackness
(Originally Posted 12.12.2019)
Reading this one back again
I feel so sorry for her
Clearly she lost more,
When he died,
Than her words could ever infer
I Can’t Bring You Back Though, Can I?
I can look at your photo
I can whisper your name
I can press your shirt
Against my face
But nothing feels the same
(Originally Posted 11.12.2020)
“You’ll never watch your life slide out of view…”
“Someone once asked me: ‘why do you love music so much?’ I replied: ‘because it’s the only thing that stays when everything and everyone is gone.'”
– Kid Cudi
I think we both knew
Deep down
That she would soon
Become another
That you’d be left
A husband bereft
And your kids
Without their mother
Now I know
That she had longer
And to her death
You had all faced up
Still it pains me so much
To see you
In the Under 50’s
Widow’s club
The News Nobody Wants
I hope
it all
goes well
today
I hope
with
all my
heart
For I
couldn’t
bear
for you
To live
as I
now do
And
have
your lives
torn apart
(Originally Posted 28.11.2019)
“Think of your feelings as friends to be understood, not enemies to be fought.”
– Alan D Wolfelt
A tale of love
Unrequited,
Ever so sad
Yet I’m secretly
Delighted
To have experienced it.
Otherwise,
How would I have known?
‘You Can’t Always Get What You Want’
It’s not you
It’s not me
It’s just the way
It has to be
(Originally Posted 21.11.2020)
After all is said and done
With battles lost and wars won
I’m starting to think differently
And relationships now are not for me
Expired
If you no longer love each other
Then what’s the fucking point
Just staying together to destroy each other
Noses always out of joint
Why not just call it quits
As it’s clear neither of you tries
That has to be better than being miserable
Until one of the two of you dies
(Originally Posted 12.11.2021)
“What you really want is someone you can hang around with on a Sunday afternoon and watch a TV show with, and do nothing, and feel like it’s the most fun ever.”
– Aziz Ansari
If anyone asked
About my rhymes
I would most likely show them this
It’s an apt expression
Of my abject depression
And defines my blog’s premise
Innards
Like a
bird
Trapped
in it’s
cage
I sing
of love
and
lament
Bleeding
both
Introspective
rage
And
embittered
discontent
(Originally Posted 28.10.2020)
“People think that I’m sort of okay, you know, like I’m getting on with it. I’m snarky now and again and that this is the lapse – but it’s not. This is me all the time now.
Everything else is the fun, you know.
I’m not well, but I remember what it was like to be normal so I do an impression of that. But this is what I really am. And I want to be normal again. But I’m weak, you know.”
– Tony
All those little things
That you think matter
Mean literally nothing
When your heart is shattered
Flowers
You never
once
bought
me flowers
Which used
to make
me mad
Now I don’t
give a fuck
about any
of that stuff
I just
want you
back
(Originally Posted 20.10.2019)
If you’ve ever planned a funeral
Then I’m sure you’ll relate to this
It’s easy not to crack
When focused on the task
But when it’s done, you fall to shit
Keeping Busy
It’s been
a busy
few days
In
many
ways
But now all
my tasks are
completed
So with
nothing
left to do
I’ll soon
be thinking
of you
And how
I’ve been left
feeling cheated
(Originally Posted 17.10.2019)
‘So I’ve made my mind up
I must live my life alone
And though it’s not the easy way
I guess I’ve always known
I’d say goodbye to love…’
I would be lying
If, after he lay dying,
I said I returned all of his medication
That I didn’t at least keep some
To peruse and choose from
In any future difficult situation
Well, in fact, I did
And with how many I hid
I could have force fed the nation
So, dead behind the eyes,
Full of prescribed pills and otherwise
I fulfilled each and every obligation
Acceptance
I
asked
the
doctor
When
will the
tablets
work?
When do
they take
away my
hurt?
Nothing
will
do that,
she said
They
only
make it
so you
get out
of bed
I
asked
the
doctor
Are
you
sure?
Won’t
you do
something
more?
There’s
nothing
else I
can do,
she said
You just
have to
accept
that he
is dead
(Originally Posted 12.10.2019)
I guess I am
A misanthrope
Born as I was
Devoid of hope
Destined across
The world to mope
Forever trying
To avoid the rope
Misanthropic Me
People
never
cease to
disgust
and
disappoint
me in
equal measure
Perhaps
that’s
why my
life is
full of
discomfort
and
displeasure
(Originally Posted 09.10.2019)
I will keep saying it
Until I am blue in the face
That I was effectively widowed
At thirty eight years old
Is an absolute fucking disgrace
Leaving
Now it’s
time
for me
leave
Please
don’t
make a
fuss
It’s not
the end
of the
world
It’s
just
the end
of us
(Originally Posted 08.10.2019)
What’s the point
In dressing it up
And trying to be all poetic
Telling the truth
However uncouth
Will forever be my aesthetic
Blunt
I
wish
you
were
here
with
me
But
instead
I’m
all
alone
If
only
you
would
write
a letter
Or
call
me on
the
phone
It
would be
wonderful
to FaceTime
Or
if
you
texted
me
instead
But
I know
you
won’t
do any
of these
You
can’t
Because
you’re
dead
(Originally Posted 08.10.2020)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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