When I first started
Posting here
I was struggling
To hold on
A deep sadness
Had engulfed me
And all
Of my hope
Was gone
My partner
Of nigh on
Twenty years
Had died
Just four months
Before
My heart
Was broken
And my life, then,
A token
That I was failing
To endure
Because, you see,
He'd been taken
From me
In the most horrific way
To witness
If you've never seen it
I can tell you,
With feeling,
Cancer
Is a cunt
Of an illness
So I began
To write again
As a way
To express
My emotions
Thinking,
At best,
I might get
Some rest
If I recorded
My rambling notions
I knew
From the start
Some readers
Would baulk
At what I had
To lay bare
Suicidal thoughts
And self harm,
Of course,
All referenced
Without a care
But I had to be
Authentic
To me
And reflect
What I
Was feeling
Even though I knew
The words
I'd spew
Might leave
More sensitive readers
Reeling
And yet here
I have found
Such a welcoming crowd
Who've helped me
Hugely
When times were tough
For their patience,
Kindness,
And understanding
I could never
Thank them
Enough
So if you find
From here on in
That I am not posting
As often
Please know that you are,
In no small part,
The reason
I've started
To soften
As for me
Well, I will see
If I can continue
To reduce
My pain
But I will take
Some comfort
And feel
A little triumphant
Knowing,
At least,
I entertained
❤️
Lighter (Bonus Post)
Well thank fuck for that
She said
As she walked away
With her empty head
Fair And Square
One
thousand
poems
And I am
finally
done
This
battle is
now over
And my
war has
been won
(Originally Posted 29.02.2020)
Relocation
It wasn’t that
After our spat
I just put up
The ‘no vacancies’ sign
But I sold the whole
B & B
And left all your bullshit
Behind
No Vacancies
I don’t
want you
to visit
When all
you bring
is pain
I’d rather
stay home
alone
And break
this toxic
chain
(Originally Posted 23.02.2020)
It Doesn’t Take Much
My heart aches just
That little bit more
As I read this
With a sigh
Remembering the time
With your hand in mine
Crying
We said goodbye
Xxx
‘Everything Must Go’
Don’t
say
anything
else
He
said
Please,
just
hold
my
hand
I’ll
stay
until
we
reach
She
said
Our
line in
the
sand
(Originally Posted 07.02.2020)
Insignificant
You’d love to think
You’re in my head
Day in and
Day out
But the truth is
For last few years
It’s been so easy
To block you out
My Truth
I wish
I could
say I was
sorry
I wish
I could
say that
I care
But
I’m
actually
not
And
I really
don’t
So to
lie
would
be unfair
(Originally Posted 04.02.2020)
Best Thing I Ever Did
Full of your own
Self importance
Never short
Of a winning performance
You had vanity at your core
All those years
You implored us
Until that day
We saw your distortions
And I walked out the door
I’m Fine Thanks
I’m sorry you think I’ve missed you
As I haven’t given one fuck
If you thought you mattered
And my life is shattered
Well then, you’re shit out of luck
(Originally Posted 20.12.2021)
“Feeling Good As Hell”
You may think
That I’m left whimpering
But I can promise you
I am not
For I no longer need suffer
Your simpering
Which was worth
Every inch we fought
The High Road
You can just
Fuck off now
As I
Have had enough
I no longer
Give a shit
About all this
Selfish stuff
But you should know
Just one thing
And yes,
I will be blunt
Maybe I wasn’t
Always right
But you
Were always a cunt
(Originally Posted 14.12.2020)
Mutually Exclusive
Between your happiness
And mine
I’d pick my freedom
Everytime
Last In Line
If you continue to push this
She said
And I am forced to choose
You really should be prepared
She said
For the fact I won’t pick you
(Originally Posted 06.12.2021)
Deleted
You lost the rights
Of a confidente
When you sold me down the river
Content to stare
Without a care
As I stood there and shivered
So I’ll never again
Confide in you
On that I will deliver
For all my trust
Has turned to dust
As our friendship has now withered
On Silent
Don’t
bother to
phone me
As I’ll
just watch
it ring
I will not
answer
to you
Or
tell you
anything
(Originally Posted 26.10.2019)
Nothing Left To Say
I am pretty sure
I’ll give up soon
When I find a moment
That is opportune
I’ll say goodbye
Just after nightfall
And put down my pen
Once and for all
Done In
There’s
only so
much I
can write
Before
I go
to sleep
tonight
My
eyes are
heavy and
overtired
My
heart is
weary and
overfired
(Originally Posted 22.10.2019)
Fun While It Lasted
It wasn’t that
I wanted to stop
But I was scared that we’d get caught
That’s why I knew
What I had to do
Even though it left us distraught
Condensation
As the
wind
rattles
the
window
pane
I
wonder
if it’s
cold
where
you are
Or are
you
now
just
over
heating
In
somebody
else’s
car
(Originally Posted 23.09.2020)
Bleeding Fingers
I can actually remember this
Like it was yesterday
That night when I
Had had enough
And finally walked away
A New Dawn
Everything
changed
when I
walked out
of there
The feel of
the breeze
and the
warmth
of the air
For once
in my life
I just
stopped
fighting
And I
suddenly
found life
much more
inviting
(Originally Posted 17.09.2019)
Liberation
Best thing I ever did
Was to cut you dead
Not just out of my life
But also out of my head
Done
Fuck you,
And your pathetic little smile.
Fuck you,
And your supercilious bile.
Fuck you,
And your disingenuous chatter.
Fuck you,
For you no longer matter,
At all,
To me.
(Originally Posted 16.09.2019)
Peacetime
None of us won the battle
And certainly not the war
But my conscience has been
Squeaky fucking clean
Since showing you all the door
Acrimony
Whilst
trying
to fix
this
unconscionable
mess,
I’ve
realised
it’s all
fucking
pointless,
anyway.
Nobody wins.
(Originally Posted 05.09.2019)
Uninstalled
I knew you were only sending it
As you still wanted to scrap
So just to make sure
You got nothing more
I simply deleted the app
Digital Olive Branch
You can request
my friendship
all you like
But it’ll
never be
accepted
You can send,
send and
send it again
But it’ll
always be
rejected
(Originally Posted 05.09.2019)
‘One Day Goodbye Will Be Farewell’
It’s always the little things
That you miss
Like never leaving the house
Without a kiss
Goodbye
Be careful
when you
dismiss me
As one day
I won’t
come
back
(Originally Posted 26.08.2019)
You’ll Never See Me Again
The best thing that I ever did
Was my own fear to subdue
It may have took me a while
But nothing beats the smile
I now wear in spite of you
Soon
Life
has
been
so much
better
without
all your
bullshit
in it
Now
I know
for sure
that
I’ll soon
be removing
you
from
it
(Originally Posted 18.08.2019)
A Day Reclaimed
When asked to describe
The best day of your life
I’m sure you’ve got many replies
When you got married,
The birth of your kids
Or some such equally befitting prize
Well I know that for me
It was when I chose to be free
And told those fuckers I’d never be back
And ever since that time
I’ve been on cloud nine
With no fear of that panic attack
Family Dinners
Can I be arsed with this?
No.
Do I still have to go?
Yes.
Fuck.
(Originally Posted 14.07.2019)
‘Just Fucking Leave Me Alone’
How can you sleep at night
She said
Just cutting me off like this
With no problem at all
She said
Despite how you persist
‘Because Enough Is Too Much’
I can explain
He said
If you want to hear it
I don’t have time
She said
For anymore bullshit
(Originally Posted 03.07.2021)
Zero Tolerance
Having been in this situation
More than once
I made sure to learn from it
So now I immediately
Draw the line
The second I smell bullshit
Distortion
You
tell
your
truth
And
I’ll
tell
mine
But
we
both
know
Who
crossed
the
line
(Originally Posted 26.06.2020)
Just Enough Justification
That day you decided
To take it all from me
Yet all you actually provided
Was the route to set me free
You Know Nothing
I do not want your pity
Your sympathy is of no use
I care nothing for your tears
As your grief is just an excuse
(Originally Posted 29.05.2019)
You Should Be Ashamed Of Yourselves, Frankly
You never got why
I did what I did
Even now, you couldn’t recall
But I know why
I did what I did
And I don’t regret it, at all
Mine
I don’t want to ‘talk’ about it.
I don’t want to ‘express’ it.
I don’t want to ‘let it out’.
I want to keep this part for me.
A part that’s private.
A part that’s mine and mine alone.
As it should be.
I didn’t share my love and I refuse to share my grief.
So just piss off, the lot of you.
(Originally Posted 03.05.2019)
The Midland Hotel
I met him again
Last week in town
Just me and him
No one else around
It was quite nice
When we went to bed
I didn’t pay much mind
To his empty head
But upon waking
I knew it was a mistake
So I said my goodbyes
Saving myself the headache
Sex With The Ex
There’s a small amount of comfort
But it quickly becomes a chore
And when he tries
To converse
You remember why he’s such a bore
(Originally Posted 29.03.2021)
All Along
I’ve long suspected
You were a dickhead
But now I know for sure
So because you’ve behaved
As expected
I won’t be seeing you
Any more
The Joys Of Technology
With a click of a button
Just like that
It’s like you never even existed
All of those chats
Archived away
And any future contact, restricted
You must be logged in to post a comment.