K(not)

All
I can
say is
I live
in hope

That
one day
I will
tie that
rope

As
tightly
as I see
it in
my mind

And
all my
troubles
I’ll leave
behind

Second Fiddle

Drunkenly
wishing
upon a
star

Won’t
make my
dreams
come true

For he’ll
never be
able to
love me

Half as
much as
he loved
you

Foreboding

It’s all just so wrong

This shouldn’t be happening to you

Not as it hasn’t been that long

Since it happened to me too

I’m not sure how to act

And I’m not sure what to say

For there’s nothing on earth that can take the pain

Of what is to come away

Choices

As
bad
decisions
come
back
to say
hello

I
wish
I
knew
what
to do

For
now
my
life
has
fallen
apart

And it
feels
so
empty
without
you

Cancer

It was
all just
so fucking
unfair

You were
taken from
me without
a care

With what
seemed like
no time at
all to prepare

We had no
choice but
our souls
to bare

Xxx

Undeserving

I’ll
never
fall
in love
again

Not
that
I ever
wanted
to be

Love is
for those
with
delicate
souls

And
not
for the
likes
of me

Tuesday

I called in sick for work today.

My heart just couldn’t come out to play.

All I’ve done is lie in bed

Filled with thoughts of fear and dread.

With nausea consuming every movement,

My mood shows no sign of improvement.

I hate existing like this.

Full of anger, self loathing and all that shit.

I wonder how much more emotion can I conceal

Before I decide to end it all for real

At All

I reach
for your hand,
but it’s not there,
and further into
the abyss
I fall.

I search
for your face,
but no one cares,
and it’s like you
were never here
at all.

But

If only I could ask you,
But I never should.

If only I could show you,
But I never would.

If only you could tell me,
But you never should.

If only you could love me,
But you never would.

The Plan

Widowed before you're thirty eight,
that's my plan for you.

If that's your plan
then all I can say is
seriously,
fuck you.

He Said / She Said

One day
You might be somebody’s something
He said

But today
I am nobody’s nothing
She said

One day
Somebody might love you
He said

But today
Nobody does
She said

Freezing

I tried really hard today.

To laugh.

To be normal.

To forget.

And I managed, for a while.

But still I lie in bed here, freezing, hoping to go to sleep and dream of you.

Sailing

‘Choppy waters ahead, Captain, but I see dry land on the horizon’.

‘Drop anchor here then, Sailor, for I’d prefer to die in the storm’.

Must Try Harder

You must try harder, he says.

Harder to smile,

Harder to laugh,

Harder to forgive,

Harder to forget,

Harder to live again,

Harder to love again.

You must try harder, he says.

I can’t, she whispers

I’m sorry.

Waiting

It’s like you’ve been round at your pals house for the evening, and you’re going to call me in a minute to tell me you’re on the bus home…

But you never call…