Only Joking

You’d
think it
would
take
some
effort

To
write
as
much
as
this

Well
please
don’t
think
me
arrogant

But
it’s
really
a piece
of piss

Waxworks

You
can’t
hold a
candle
to him

She
said

You’ll
never
know
how
we felt

I wouldn’t
go near
him with
a naked
flame

He
said

For
fear
that he
would
melt

Fuck Buddies

I
won’t
always
be
here,
you
know

For
when
you
feel
the
need
to
ask

Not
while
there
are
more
dicks
to
blow

And
other
glows
in
which
to
bask

Redundant

It’s
okay
to fail
sometimes

He
said

That
you
keep
trying
will
count

Tell
that
to the
bank
manager

She
said

As my
debts
continue
to mount

Self Portrait #1

Both a rhymer and a charmer

She only sticks around for drama

Writing with a screw loose or two

She isn’t scared of an expletive or few

Mourning the loss of her true love

She knows there’s no-one up above

Kind, caring and empathetic

She isn’t very sympathetic

Often scathing but often witty

She has a penchant for the nitty gritty

Sometimes joking sometimes smart

She weeps with her broken heart

Enamoured with music, wine and song

She knows with those she can’t go wrong

Old Hat

You’ve
been
on my
mind
today

More
than
any
other
time

If only
it had
inspired
something
epic

And
not this
fucking
awful
rhyme

Dear Stevie

If we
could
meet

We’d
drink
a brew

And
maybe
share

A
laugh
or two

Yet we
would
know

At the
end of
the day

What
connects
us both

Is
life’s
decay

Precipice

Grab
onto
this

He
said

It’ll
be
fine

It’s
one
I made
myself

I’m
not
sure

She
said

It
might
not be
safe

I’ve
seen
you
put
up a
shelf

Just Saying

Focus
on what
you can
control

And
leave
behind
what
you
can’t

That
way
you’ll
find
Bob’s
your
uncle

And
Fanny
really
is your
Aunt

Ter(rain)

I’ll
take
your
hand

If
you
are
frightened

I’ll
hold
you
hair

If
you
get
sick

I’ll
even
lead
you

To
the
path
of
enlightenment

If
you’re
really
fucking
quick

A Love Quadrangle

It
should
be
me

Said
man
number
one

I’ve
been
here
from
the
start

It
should
be
me

Said
man
number
two

I’d
never
break
her
heart

It
should
be
me

Said
man
number
three

I
see
her
playful
side

Please,
stop
arguing
boys

She
said

You
couldn’t
handle
me if
you
tried!

Nom De Plume

Charmer’s the name

Misery the game

Pleased to meet you

I ain’t

I may lack flair

Writing without care

But really

I’m a saint

*winks*

Row 3 Seat 5

I don’t know
who said you
were funny

But I think
you’re pretty
witless

This really
wasn’t worth
the money

As I’m sitting
here bored
shitless

Foreboding

It’s all just so wrong

This shouldn’t be happening to you

Not as it hasn’t been that long

Since it happened to me too

I’m not sure how to act

And I’m not sure what to say

For there’s nothing on earth that can take the pain

Of what is to come away

G42

Was it really

The best of times?

Or was it just

The worst?

I’ve got nae idea, pal

Ma heid’s fuckin’ burst

Middle Class Wooing

Don’t
bother
picking
flowers

They
will just
make me
sneeze

If you
really
want to
impress me

Just
bring
a wheel
of cheese

For an
‘expensive’
bottle
of wine

And a
little
bit of
Brie

Is
really
all it
takes

To get
into
bed
with me

Swipe Right

How’s
about
it

Just
us
two?

Fancy
a
walk

Visit
the
zoo?

Get
a
beer

Eat
some
food?

Spend
the
night

Being
terribly
rude?

Funny Guy

I like
it when
you laugh

He said

I wish
you’d do
it more

Just write
another
paragraph

She said

Then you’ll
really see
me roar

Bed Head

There’s
so much
power,

In the
scissors
you wield,

It really
makes me
worry.

One slip
of your
hand,

A snip
or two
unplanned,

And I won’t
be going out
in a hurry.