Tag: loss

Trivial

I just can’t seem

To complete a task

However big,

Or small

I guess what once meant

Everything to me

Now means nothing

At all

2

Lifeless

Where is your commitment

He said

Your passion and desire?

It all left when he did

She said

Now there’s nothing

That stokes the fire

4

Rewired

I used to be nice

I used to be kind

Then something happened

That changed my mind

Now I’m angry

Now I’m mean

With very little left

In-between

3

Overcome

Most of the time

I do quite wells

Smile on my face

Everything swell

But when those tears

Decide to fall

The reality is

There’s fuck all

I can do

To save myself

From drowning

0

Both Ways

One million men

Could lay in my bed

But you’d still be the one

Stuck in my head

Even if I tried

A million women instead

I wouldn’t even be vaguely

Interested

0

An Audience Of One

I write a bit

Now you know

Nothing special

Or much to show

But just enough

To get me though

And show how much

I still miss you

0

Our Spot

You took my hand

As we crossed the sand

And I knew then

What I still know now

That’s why I come back here

Every year

To talk to you again

Out loud

0

Gone

Love him while

You still can

As the hands of death

Wait for no man

2

Craving

I held you once

In my arms

Yet you slipped

Right through

My fingers

Now my heart burns

For your return

As the touch

Of your hand

Lingers

4

You Just

You just haven’t met the one

They said 

You just need to give it time

You just need to fuck off

She said 

You just don’t get to decide 

3

Sleeping On Trains

From the corner

Of my eye

I see you

Sitting there

Her head resting

On your thigh

Your fingers

Stroking her hair

I remember those days

My head touching his

When my heart

Would do nothing but flip

Yet all I feel now

Seeing such bliss

Is the overwhelming urge

To be sick

2

Night Nurse

With medications

To administer

And all those wounds

To dress

I think I said

Goodbye to you

Before you even left

Xxx

2

Taken Unawares

I stand at the window

Waiting to see you get off

But the bus whistles past

Without needing to stop

Because, of course,

You never got on

As I remember, with force,

That you are gone

Xxx

2

Stolen

You will never be forgiven

For what you took from me

Not just my only lover

But my whole identity

And even though you did it

A near whole five years ago

I am yet to fully recover

Or let my seething anger go

6

Raising A Glass

At your wedding toast

Yesterday

I did not cry one bit

Even when I glanced

Upon your first dance

I held it in

With an iron like grit

For what I wouldn’t do

Is ever tell you

How seeing you so happy

Did hurt

And that, at times,

If just in my mind

I did wish your happy day cursed

6

A Lost Cause

I know you think

You can change me

That your kindness

Will be enough

But trust me when I say

There’s been too much decay

For my heart to be capable

Of love

Bad Seed

I
wish
there
was a
way

To
make
you
see

That
good
boys
like
you

Aren’t
for
bad
girls
like me

(Originally Posted 26.02.2020)

4

Broken Promises

The fool and her heart

Were very soon parted

As he couldn’t finish

What he started

Unkept

You said

To me

You’d always

Be true

Yet it’s clear

That forever

Meant fuck all

To you

(Originally Posted 22.02.2021)

4

Now Made Of Stone

To think I was ever

This pathetic

Leaves me

Open mouthed

And aghast

It certainly took

Some toughening up

But at least now

That nonsense

Has passed

My Dark Heart

Although
my descent
into
madness

Has
torn
my soul
apart

Underneath
all of
this
sadness

I’m still
a romantic
at heart

(Originally Posted 22.02.2020)

2

Writing The Book On Grief

Now it’s just over

Four years for me

And although

I’ve learned a lot

I still couldn’t claim

I know enough to explain

Or even to give it

A decent shot

Bereavement

Just
when
I think
I’ve got
no tears
left

They
fall
down
my
face
again

Why
the fuck
didn’t
someone
tell
me

How
to
prepare
for all
this
pain

(Originally Posted 19.02.2020)

0

Joyeux Anniversaire

It’s taken me by surprise

This year

As I thought I’d be OK

Yet I feel utterly desolate

Lying here

Washing my tears away

Xxx

What Should Have Been

Twenty two years

Just me and you

Sitting on the sofa

With wine and food

But it’s not to be

As you’re three years gone

So any romance today

Just feels wrong

Xxx

(Originally Posted 14.02.2022)

2

The Price

If only I’d have listened

To people back in the day

Everyone who told me

This would end in disarray

Then I wouldn’t ever have known

Such misery and dismay

But I’d never have felt love either

And for that I was willing to pay

Mum Knows Best

Why
didn’t
you
follow
your
dreams?

She
said

Using
your
good
humour
and wit

Now
you’ve
got no
choice

She
said

But
to put
up with
his
bullshit

(Originally Posted 29.01.2020)

4

Rarer

I can get through

Most days now

Without crying

Over you

But sometimes it hits

Like a ton of bricks

And there is nothing

I can do

Recurring

The tears I cried

When you died

Will never fully dry

For with each day

Dawns a new array

Of pain I can’t deny

Xxx

(Originally Posted 22.01.2021)

4

Save Me

Those oceans feel

A little calmer now

As those days

Have passed me by

So from here

I’ll just tread water

Hoping for help

Before I die

The Drowning Girl

Tears
run into
oceans

Hours
bleed into
days

As I go
through
the motions

Trapped
between
the waves

(Originally Posted 21.01.2021)

0

It’ll Never Happen

If only there

Was a way

To make the dream

A reality

But any hope of that

Was cruelly dashed

When you upped

And left me

Nocturnal Naughtiness

You
were
in my
dreams
last night

We
kissed
longingly
by the
fire

And
although
I woke
with
contented
delight

It
didn’t
quite
quench
my desire

(Originally Posted 08.01.2020)

2

Minutiae

You think that when

Someone dies

It’s the big things

That you’ll miss

But what causes pain

To grieving brain

Is missing the small things

That they did

Even A Broken Clock Is Right Twice A Day

I can’t
even
change

The time
on the
oven

It’s just
one more
thing

I have
discovered

Since
you’ve
gone

(Originally Posted 04.01.2020)

2

Getting By

I know you put

A brave face on

I know as I did it

Myself

Not just because

You’re thinking of others

But more to protect

Yourself

Are You Okay?

I want to ask

But I’m far too scared

For I already know

As into those depths

I’ve stared

(Originally Posted 02.01.2020)

4

Missing The Boat

It’ll most likely be

Like the last four

Wondering what the fuck

I stuck around for

20/20

However
will I
make it
through

Another
year
without
you?

(Originally Posted 31.12.2019)

2

Looking On

Of course I remember

How it feels

Down to the very last letter

But it wouldn’t matter

What I tried

Nothing can make it better

Utterly Helpless

I really wish
I could do more

Like pick you up
from the bathroom floor

Hug you when
your heart is breaking

Give you comfort
when your bones are aching

But for as much as
your pain to me is known

This is a journey
you must walk alone

(Originally Posted 27.12.2019)

10

Firsts

There was nothing else

That I could do

Nothing else

That I could say

Other than

To remind them all

That it’s just

Another day

Brutal Honesty

I wish
I could
take

Your
pain
away

Tell
you
everything

Will
be
okay

But
I know
the truth

It
doesn’t
get
better

When
what
you had

Is lost
forever

(Originally Posted 27.12.2019)

2

‘Blue Christmas’

It’s the time of year

Again

For that age old

Platitude

The one I’m expected

To receive

With a kindly

Gratitude

“It must be hard for you”

They say

“Especially at this time of year”

I want

To say

It’s hard

Every day

But that’s not

What they want to hear

Who The Fuck Are ‘They’ Anyway?

Time heals

Or so they say

Well, let me tell you

They fucking lie

Time does nothing

But march on

And you’re left

With no right to reply

(Originally Posted 22.12.2021)

0

Terminal

I’m not sure
Who suffers more
Those who are
Oblivious
Or those who know
What’s in store

Identity Crisis

In
some
ways
losing
myself
has
been
harder
than
losing
you

(Originally Posted 22.12.2019)

0

‘I’ll Never Be Anybody’s Hero Now’

I used to be

Quite kindly

Cheerful

And fresh of face

Then something happened

That kicked off a pattern

Of both misery

And disgrace

Pedestals

They say you don’t know

What you mean to people

Whom you may never see

Well all I can say

Is I hope and pray

That no one relies on me

(Originally Posted 20.12.2020)

0

‘the weirdness flows between us’

The worst is in the office

With the radio on

And no-one bats an eyelid

When they play our favourite song

Xxx

Name That Tune

People play
those songs

With no notion
of this pain

No idea that
when I hear them

My heart bleeds
for you again

(Originally Posted 18.12.2019)

0

Clocking In

Never

Do I feel this more

Than each time I walk

Through that door

Sown Up

I don’t feel better.

I haven’t forgotten.

I’ve just stopped telling you,

How I feel.

(Originally Posted 15.12.2020)

0

‘Reality Bites’

In a way it’s easier

To still see you every day

For as we get both older

My heart grows colder

And doesn’t hurt in the same way

Taken

I can bear most things in life

But it kills me every time

To know no matter what I do

You will never again be mine

(Originally Posted 11.12.2020)

0

Only The Half Of It

Reading this one back again

I feel so sorry for her

Clearly she lost more,

When he died,

Than her words could ever infer

I Can’t Bring You Back Though, Can I?

I can look at your photo

I can whisper your name

I can press your shirt

Against my face

But nothing feels the same

(Originally Posted 11.12.2020)

0

Sleeping Alone

I thought having sex with strangers

Would get him out of my head

And though it filled a hole

That wasn’t my goal

So now it’s back to my own bed

Going Too Far

Lying
here
alone

In
this
strange
bed

Wondering
what the
fuck

Was
in my
head

Now I
must
ignore

This
feeling
of dread

And
stop
wishing
that I’d

Stayed
home
instead

(Originally Posted 07.12.2020)

2

It’ll Need Stitches

I can clean it with antiseptic

He said

And cover it with a plaster

It won’t make any difference

She said

It’s still a fucking disaster

Bleeding

It feels
like I’ve
been
robbed,
she said,

Of the
only
love
in my
life

This
pain
just
runs
so deep,
she sobbed,

As it
cuts
through me
like a
knife

(Originally Posted 05.12.2019)

4

To The Day

Many more moons

Have passed since then

And plenty of suns

Now too

In fact it’s been

1,458 days

That I’ve been here

Without you

Xxx

Many A Moon

As that
day draws
ever closer

The pain
cannot be
avoided

To think
it was just
a year ago

When my
whole world
imploded

(Originally Posted 28.11.2019)

2

Magnitude

You may well have been dead

Nearly four years to the day

Yet you still have the power

To take my breath away

Xxx

A Different Coat

I cried for
hours this
morning

I found your
notebook in
my pocket

Now I’ve
started to
read it

I don’t
know how
to stop it

(Originally Posted 19.11.2019)

10

Upping Sticks

When I think over

These last few years

I really have suffered a lot

So my house may well

Now be up for sale

But my heart definitely is not

Home Sweet Home

They say
you can
never go
home
again

And I’m
starting
to believe
that’s
true

For all
that resides
here now
is a world
of pain

And
far too
many
memories
of you

(Originally Posted 17.11.2019)

0

So Much To Give

There I was

Worried you would leave

But I’ve been granted

A reprieve

I shouldn’t ever have doubted

Your ability

To be broken hearted

And yet still love me

No Matter What?

How
long
will
you

Be
here
for
me

When
your
own
tradegy
strikes

What
will
happen

To
our
love

When
your
reality
bites?

(Originally Posted 13.11.2020)

0

Lucid Dreaming

I guess I hadn’t realised

Others would dream about their dead

That it’s not just me

At the mercy

Of the thoughts inside their head

What I never expected, however,

Is their dreams seem to be quite pleasant

Not like mine

Where he’s still dying

And fear is ever-present

Now I’m wondering how they do it

And if I could control my dreams

As to see him smile

Just for a while

May well reduce my screams

‘You Don’t Know What You’ve Got ‘Til It’s Gone ‘

It’s
only
now
I dream
of
you

Now
that
you
are
dead

If
only
you
were
still
here

And
not
just
inside
my
head

Xxx

(Originally Posted 12.11.2020)

13

Random #255

“The darkened space of The King’s Head downstairs room. Tuesday nights are set aside for poetry.

Every week they discussed the purpose of poetry in modern society, and every week they came to the same conclusion.

That poetry is enlightenment.

It’s questioning the norm, to try to find an understanding, to push forward ideas, to discover half truths, to open a forum for debate, to bring people together.”

– Sean Hughes

0

No Hard Feelings

It wasn’t our time

Nor was it the place

But I’ll never forget

Your sweet embrace

The Reference

When it is

I see

Her next

I’ll be sure

To let

Her know

How you’re

Passionate,

Funny

And kind

And how

It hurts

To let

You go

(Originally Posted 11.11.2021)

2

“The Inexorable March Of Time”

That day

Still comes

Every year

Despite

My avoidance

As it

Draws near

One Year Ago

If I
just
don’t
think
about
it

Then
maybe
that
day
won’t
come

I’m
just
not
sure
I can
face it

When
all
is
said
and
done

(Originally Posted 11.11.2019)

4

Imploded

Concerning affairs

Of the heart

I was once a master

But when he died

I lost my mind

And now I’m a complete disaster

Ready To Implode

It
isn’t
you

That
I don’t
trust

Honestly,
it’s
me

My
mind
is

No
longer
robust
enough

To
deal
with

Such
trickery

(Originally Posted 02.11.2019)

2

Birthdays & Christmases

It’s alright for you

As all you need to do

Is remember him

On special occasions

Well I feel that way

Every fucking day

So you’ll never know

My frustrations

Clueless

You
think
you
know

But
you
have
no clue

What
I’ve
had to
let go

Or
what I
still go
through

(Originally Posted 30.10.2019)

0

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