Lying in bed
Late at night
I turn over
With a sigh
I reach out
With my hand
But it’s empty
Where you’d lie
Xxx
"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
Lying in bed
Late at night
I turn over
With a sigh
I reach out
With my hand
But it’s empty
Where you’d lie
Xxx
However
will I
make it
throughAnother
year
without
you?
I think
I love youHe
saidBut I
cannot waitIf you
loved meShe
saidYou wouldn’t
hesitate
Would I
have made
a different
choice
If I had
never
heard
your
voice?
Would I
live in a
different
place
If I had
never
seen
your
face?
Would your
death have
hurt me
this much
If I had
never
felt
your
touch?
You can
try it on
all you
like
But
we can
never be
together
For my
heart
belongs
to another
And it
will stay
that way
forever
I remember when we stayed in bed all day
And just ate crisps and cheese
I remember when I surprised you with gifts
And you couldn’t have been more pleased
I remember when you chatted with my Gran
And you were welcomed by my crazy clan
I remember receiving your last present
Sent to me all the way from heaven
I miss you so much today
That you’re not here is a shame
As Christmas Day without you
Will never be the same
Xxx
I hope
you have
a nice dayPlease enjoy
it while
you canFor soon
you’ll lose
everythingIn a way you
could never
understand
When
will
it
be
timeFor
you
to
be
mine?
There’s
not
enough
hours
in
the
dayFor
all
of
your
kindness
to
repayJust
know
that
now I
can see
things so
clearlyI’ll
never
love
anyone
else
as
dearly
Shall
we jumpHe
askedNow that we’ve
come this far?I don’t
knowShe
saidLet’s just get
back in the car
You still
rescue
me in so
many ways
Even
from
beyond
the grave
Mired in madness
Subsumed in sadness
Buried here forever
Lost to blackness
What is broken
Cannot be replaced
For our footsteps
Can never be retraced
Looking
at youLooking
at meWhen will
we tireOf this
malarkey
I
loved
you
And
you
loved
me
Now
my
penance
Is to
never
be
free
To
love
again
No one
ever
loved me
like youAnd now
I’ve lost
it allSo with
no one
left to
turn toTowards
the hole
I crawl
I never
would
have
pulled
through
If I
didn’t
have
you to
turn to
For
all my
bullshit
you cut
through
And
showed
me a love
that’s
true
This room
that view
for just
us two
The sea
the sky
the clouds
up above
So tranquil
and serene
this place
we love
Come
closer,
he
said,I want
to see
your
face.Stay
away,
she
said,I daren’t
risk
another
embrace.
I cannot
wait foreverI just don’t
have the timeSoon enough
I’ll just move onAnd take what’s
rightfully mine
Another
day passes
And I
miss you
like mad
As through
rose tinted
glasses
I remember
what we had
Xxx
I finally understand it.
I have realised the way things are.
I accept it.
I am not your woman.
You are not my man.
You are not mine to have.
I am not yours to hold.
We are friends.
This has always been clear.
You are unobtainable.
Out of my reach.
It's not that I don't care -
I do.
It's not that I'm not jealous - I am.
But now I finally understand it.
Now I have realised the way things are.
Now I accept it.
And it's okay.
Really.
xxx
‘What a mess…’
Sitting on a wall with Judas dressed in cricket whites
I guess we'll never know
19.06.1997
The thing is
It was just so much easier
When I didn't care
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