They say you don't know what you have got until it's gone.
And what they say is true.
I understand that now.
Now it's over.
Mind, I never really had you in the first place did I?
It was never official.
It was never a proper relationship.
It was just sex.
Mad, passionate, glorious sex.
Maybe it is my fault.
Maybe I don't take life 'seriously enough'.
All I know is that at 4.08pm my train will leave Central Station
and you will be in Cambuslang.
And I'm going to miss these last seven weeks forever.
It is strange.
You are told that when these things happen, you'll just know.
You won't be able to catch your breath,
your stomach will be in knots
and a thunderbolt will fly through the sky.
But it doesn't ... it didn't.
It is strange.
It is not that you are particularly handsome - you are not.
But it's the way you make me feel.
You make me laugh.
You make me smile.
I look forward to seeing you.
I look forward to you coming to see me.
But I know there is no future in it.
It will not go anywhere.
I want the thunderbolt.
I need it.
Can't get out,
Don't want to be here,
What's my problem?
Take me away.
Give me a break,
Can't reach out,
Caught kissing with my mouth full.
Fell for you,
My words are slurred,
Why am I so helpless?
Where did all the time go?
Who am I?
I feel ill.
Why did you leave me here?
Here alone to fend for myself?
Why couldn't you have stayed to comfort me through the years we both had left on this planet?
You were the only one who ever understood me.
You were the only one I could ever understand.
I loved you, I still love you,
but I can't ever forgive you for leaving me.
Discarding me like an expired bus pass.
That's all I was to you.
A ticket you used to transport you to your next destination.
We could have been so good together Jimmy, but you walked out on me.
And I'll never forgive you for that.
'Mum, Dad, a boy was killed tonight'.
What does it mean exactly?
Is it the forbidden pursued by the insatiable?
Or the obscure followed by adulation?
It can be doused with disinclination,
Or drip with dejection.
It can feel heavy with its honesty,
And excite with its excellence.
But we must remember it is not tangible.
And it is not changeable.
It just happens,
And we just have to live with that.
Otherwise we'd drive ourselves insane.