"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
Complicated relationships
May be all I’ve ever known
Yet it seems the baggage
That you come along with
By far outweighs my own
Tussle
I don’t want to just be friends
I don’t want to let this go
You may be able to walk away
But this is all I know
(Originally Posted 01.02.2021)
“Raindrops keep falling on my head”
As that old sentimentalist croons
Well for me,
It’s not just raindrops
It’s a slew of fucking monsoons
Left Guessing
Time moves on
Yet I’m stood still
Fading away
Losing the will
As each second
Passes me by
I can’t seem to forget
Or stop asking why
(Originally Posted 19.01.2021)
Another well meaning question
Asked way too expectantly
Answered without hesitation
Although far too respectfully
Tight Lipped
I am
not
trying
to be
mean
Or to
cause
yet
another
scene
So before
my fuse
is well
and truly
blown
Please
just piss
off and
leave me
alone
(Originally Posted 26.10.2019)
It doesn’t matter
Who I ask
No one can answer me
So three years in
It’s time to begin
Living independently
?
What did I do
to deserve this?
Why did this
happen to me?
Where will
I end up now?
Who is coming
to save me?
(Originally Posted 30.09.2019)
I guess
Looking back
You can’t be sure
Why you did the things you did
Reflection, it seems,
Isn’t for the dead
It is the curse
For those who live
Happy
I
miss
you
I
miss
us
I wish we
could just
go back
To
how it
was
Before
all
of this
Before
things turned
to shit
And we
were
happy
Because
we were
happy
I
was
happy
Wasn’t I?
(Originally Posted 13.09.2019)
If only I had a pound
For each session that started like this
I wouldn’t need a whip-round
For a better therapist
On The Couch
What’s worrying you today,
He asks.
Everything,
I reply.
(Originally Posted 14.08.2020)
I met him on the Solstice
Many, many moons ago
There amongst the stones I thought
He looks to be in the know
So I asked him that question
The one you see below
But alas, he shook his head and said
‘I just go with the flow’
The Sage
Tell me
how
you do
it
She
said
How
do you
stay so
strong
I
don’t
really
know
He
said
I make
it up
as
I go
along
(Originally Posted 22.06.2020)
You didn’t give me
An answer then
And I doubt that you could now
But that doesn’t mean
I’m not still wondering
If one day you will, somehow
The Hardest Question Of All
If
it’s
not you
And
it isn’t
not me
Then who
the fuck
Is it
supposed
to be?
(Originally Posted 12.05.2020)
I’ve said this many times
Mainly to my psychiatrist
For it is he who,
In my opinion,
Sould remain the quietest
No Idea
Stop asking me questions
When you are in no way prepared for the answers
(Originally Posted 01.05.2019)
Never
Of course not
I shouldn’t think so
Don’t be stupid
Obviously not
You should
You won’t
Fuck knows
Of course
Yes
Questions
When does this pain end?
Have I not suffered enough?
Will things ever change?
Does time heal everything?
Am I done?
Do I care?
Shall I?
Go where?
Alone?
Forever?
(Originally Posted 20.03.2019)
It was nice of you to ask today
So I lied in reciprocation
It would’ve been unfair
To make you aware
Of my abject desolation
What is more important
She said
Being kind or telling the truth
For if it’s the latter
Then I cannot flatter
And your ego I will not soothe
Does it matter
If I do
Or don’t
Should it matter
If I will
Or won’t
Why can’t it be easy
To decide
Without strain
When will I stop
Churning it over
Again
All that time
You never knew
How broken I was
Beneath the mask
And it wasn’t because
I didn’t tell you
You just never cared enough
To ask
You say you’re ever loving
Yet your cruelty holds no bounds
If you care as much
As they tell me
Then why do you make me frown
How on earth do you cope
He asked
With all the loneliness
You don’t have any choice
She said
When you’ve got no one left
Why would you ask me
A question
If you don’t want to hear
What I say
It really is fucking
Annoying
That you feel you can treat me
This way
Not since those heady days
Of Haddaway in ’93
Have I really asked
How long it lasts
And what love means to me
Do you really look past
The colour of my skin
And try hard to see
Who I am within
I don’t believe you
What the fuck
Are you still doing up
Don’t you know
It’s quarter past four?
Well of course I do
But it’s nothing new
To find I can’t sleep
Anymore
I don’t want to go back, actually
My old normal kinda sucked
Whereas my life now
Doesn’t seem somehow
So irrevocably fucked
I wonder what you’ll all say,
When I finally go away.
I wonder what you’ll all think,
When off into the shadows I slink.
I wonder if you’ll all stop and stare,
When you finally realise I’m no longer there.
(Originally Posted 25.06.2019)
I think that I forgot myself
Somewhere along the way
So not only have I lost you
I’ve got a whole life to replay
(Originally Posted 28.07. 2019)
At this point I just want to feel
It matters not what or who
But this world has lost its appeal
So what is a girl to do?
Is this why we were put here
She said
To worship his favourite son?
I’m fucked if I know
He said
So let’s just have some fun
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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