What the fuck
Are you still doing up
Don’t you know
It’s quarter past four?
Well of course I do
But it’s nothing new
To find I can’t sleep
Anymore
"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
What the fuck
Are you still doing up
Don’t you know
It’s quarter past four?
Well of course I do
But it’s nothing new
To find I can’t sleep
Anymore
I don’t want to go back, actually
My old normal kinda sucked
Whereas my life now
Doesn’t seem somehow
So irrevocably fucked
I wonder what you’ll all say,
When I finally go away.
I wonder what you’ll all think,
When off into the shadows I slink.
I wonder if you’ll all stop and stare,
When you finally realise I’m no longer there.
(Originally Posted 25.06.2019)
I think that I forgot myself
Somewhere along the way
So not only have I lost you
I’ve got a whole life to replay
(Originally Posted 28.07. 2019)
At this point I just want to feel
It matters not what or who
But this world has lost its appeal
So what is a girl to do?
Is this why we were put here
She said
To worship his favourite son?
I’m fucked if I know
He said
So let’s just have some fun
Throwing up the contents
Of yet another hateful day
Wondering why I ever made
This ridiculous choice to stay
It
can't
get
much
worse,
can it?
He
said
Than
the
year
that
has
just
passed
Well
you've
fucking
jinxed
it
now
She
said
That
you've
gone
and
bloody
asked!
You're
no fun
anymore
He
said
What
happened
to you
my friend?
I was
never
fun
before
She
said
All
that
was
just
pretend
As my life passes me by
I lose the will to even try
So I raise my hands to the sky
And scream why me, you arsehole, why?
Who am I now?
What should I do?
Why am I still here?
When I could be with you?
Xxx
Who knows
And, quite frankly,
Who cares
‘What am I now?
What am I now?
What if I’m someone I don’t want around..?’
With no idea what this shit means
I’ve fallen apart at the seams
Hidden behind these opaque screens
I only exist now in my dreams
If
we
are
all
supposed
to be
stars
Why
do
some
shine
brighter
than
others?
You
calledMy
LordBut
didn’t
waitFor
the
answerI
was
appalledMy
LordTo
find
youSuch
a chancer
I post here twice a day
Not knowing who will read
Is anyone even interested?
Do my words fulfill a need?
Is there humour in my blog?
Or do you just find it sad?
Do I come across as normal?
Or do you think I’m mad?
I’m interested in what you think
I’d really love to know
So without fear of recrimination
Please comment your thoughts below
What
holds us
togetherIs a
deep
connectionThat
need
neverBe
in
questionBut
whether
or notIt’s
love
or hateIs very
much
stillUp
for
debate
It’s
not
about
what
she
didOr
what
he did
either
to be
fairIt’s
about
how
it has
made
me feelFor
the
rest
I could
not
care
You ask
What
I left
Behind
Nothing
I answer
Just
My mind
How will you know
She said
If it’s her or me?
I have no idea
He said
Confusedly
Tell me
how
you do
it
She
said
How
do you
stay so
strong
I
don’t
really
know
He
said
I make
it up
as
I go
along
If
life’s
a bitch
She
said
And
then
you
die
What’s
the
point
in
living?
It’s
for
those
moments
He
said
Inbetween
That’s
why we
keep on
giving
If
I ask
you a
question
She
said
Do you
promise
to tell
the truth?
Yes
He
lied
If
it’s
not you
And
it’s
not me
Then who
the fuck
else
Is it
supposed
to be?
Is that
it now
She
said
Can we
go back?
As I want
nothing more
But to fade
to black
If
your
decision
is already
made
Why
are
you
asking
me?
Just
take
your
patronising
questions
And stay
the fuck
away
from
me
I’ll
see
you
nowRoom
number
threeSo,
what’s
the
matterDon’t
fucking
ask me!
Sometimes
I wonderIs everything
my fault?And then
I rememberI actually don’t
give a fuck
I suppose
I should
have
askedIf you
really
were
okBefore
I put our
friendship
on blastAnd
again as
I walked
away
I mean, I don’t understand either.
It’s a pity. A real shame.
Shame? It’s fucking awful…
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