Tag: sadness

“Coping By Not Having To Cope”

When he died

And you’d nothing left

How did you deal

With the emptiness?

I filled it up

With pills and gin

In the vainest of hopes

I could forget him

And did you find

That it worked

They helped wash away

The pain and hurt

Some days did feel

Like less of a chore

But, in the end, the grief

Got too big to ignore

7

Moving

I remember the day

We got the keys

Thinking the rest

Would be a breeze

But now I sit and rot

All alone

In what should have been

Our forever home

6

A Knife’s Edge

It rears it’s head

This time of year

The feeling of wishing

That I wasn’t here

I’ll try to push through

As best as I can

But I’d be lying to say

It wasn’t still a plan

9

The Gradual Loss

It seems

The inevitable

Has happened

And I have finally

Gone mad

As I’m starting

To forget

The good things

Instead

Of just the bad

12

Those Left Behind

I’m relieved to read

Your memories

Have now started

To blend

As heaven knows

With enough guilt

I already

Must contend

2

Just A Glimpse

When I saw him

Again today

All of that pain

Was washed away

Until I realised

It wasn’t him

And my heart, once more,

Cracked

From within

2

A Shot In The Dark

Do you think

We connected

Because we’re

Both damaged

Inside

That,

Perhaps,

We only found

Each other

As we had

Nowhere left

To hide

2

Dragging It Out

Another hour

Another day

Wishing I didn’t

Feel this way

Another second

Another minute

Life sure is shit

Without you in it

Xxx

3

Staying Power

I understand

It takes time

For wounds

Like these

To heal

But I got bored

Of myself

Years ago

So fuck knows

How you feel

6

Without A Fuss

Don’t you want to get better?

No, she politely replied

I think folks would be happier

If I just quietly died

4

What Do You Do?

What do you do

When you want to be touched

But you don’t really like

People very much

What do you do

When you want romance

But you’re in no way inclined

To give anyone a chance

Well, here’s what I do

I just stay in bed

And spend all day feeling

I’d be better off dead

8

Absence

I guess you could say

I’ve been in mourning

With no desire to see

Yet another day dawning

And despite me trying

To relieve this burden

It would only be lying

To say my future is certain

30

I Remember

You cannot say

You didn’t know

Or that I wasn’t clear

When I said no

The fact that you

Were “just a kid”

Will never justify

What you did

4

Piecemeal

As the punches roll

Time takes it’s toll

And I lose more

And more

Each day

I can’t be wrong

Thinking

It won’t be long

Before I fully

Fade away

0

Caught Sleeping

I knew as soon

As we touched

All wasn’t

What it seemed

Yet it still hurt

My heart

When I woke

With a start

To realise

It was a dream

0

I Miss That More Than Anything

I remember

Driving to see you

In the middle

Of the night

I didn’t want

To talk

I just needed

To feel your might

Because I knew

When you kissed me

You’d wrap your arms

Around me tight

And that you

Would be the one

To make everything

Alright

Xxx

4

Just My Lot In Life

I suppose

I’ve never

Really cared

For people,

Places,

Or things

But just dealt

With the

Endless

Melancholy

That abject

Depression

Brings

6

Motormouth

I am always here

He said

If you ever want

To talk

We could sit

And have a coffee

He said

Or go out

For a walk

Thank you

For the offer

She said

But I’d really

Rather not

If I start taking now

She said

I don’t think

I’d ever stop

0

Ghosted

Knowing

We’ll never

Meet again

Isn’t even

The worst

It’s more the fact

You never called back

That really

Fucking hurts

2

Aviemore

As we have found

Where your body has lain

We hope it heals

Your family’s pain

And though they’ll struggle

To see past the rain

Now you can be

Together again

0

Is It Really The Kindest Thing?

The worst is when

All hope is gone

And you know that they

Can’t carry on

When the end is coming

At them hard

And all that’s left

Is wounds and scars

That’s when you wish

They could call it a day

Instead of just watching

Them waste away

4

“I Was Sorry To Hear About Your Dad…”

I remembered what

It was like today

Back when that pain

Gnawed away

When his death broke me

To the sum of my parts

And my mental health

Was off the charts

And although with her

I did empathise

I couldn’t be false

Or tell her lies

So I whispered the truth

As I’ve come to accept it

Although time does heal

It can never correct it

0

At Daggers Drawn

As another sun sets

On our argument

My stomach

Is still in bits 

Because of all the things

We could’ve been 

I never thought

That we’d be this

0

Welcome Interruptions

I’ve found if you socialise enough 

Sometimes, it actually works 

Then it’s only when 

You’re alone again 

That it really fucking hurts 

4

Never To Be Seen Again

Though I caught his eye

As he said goodbye

I couldn’t quite tell

If he would jump

But when he didn’t show up

Later on that month

I knew to the bridge

He had succumbed

4

The Sins Of Fathers

If I was to meet my father

When he was a younger man

I would ask him some questions

To help me to understand

Like did he ever really love her

That’s what I’d like to know

Why did he defy his parents

If it was all just for show?

Why when he had his own kids

Did he revert back to what he knew

Why treat us the way he had been

What was he trying to do?

But most of all I’d tell him

Of the mistakes he was going to make

And convince him to do things differently

For our relationships sake

6

Worth A Try

I’ll get up to eat

Some food today

As opposed to staying

In bed

Maybe then I’ll find

Ways to busy my mind

Instead of laying there

Like I’m dead

3

Fucking Things Up

I didn’t mean

For you to leave

All I needed

Was a break

And now you’ve gone

All I do is dwell on

My unintentional

Mistake

0

Gordonstoun

I felt sorry for him

The boy on the train

Said he’d ran away

From school again

Told me his parents

Just didn’t care

There was nothing,

But misery,

For him there

2

Never Again

On this, the day, for Valentine’s

I can’t help but feel

I’ve lost my mind

For there is no peace

That I can find

Now my heart is dead

And my eyes are blind

8

Lifeless

Where is your commitment

He said

Your passion and desire?

It all left when he did

She said

Now there’s nothing

That stokes the fire

4

Misread

When you said

We’d never

Meet again

I didn’t think

You meant it

Had I known

My text

Would have

That effect

Then I never

Would have

Sent it

4

Rewired

I used to be nice

I used to be kind

Then something happened

That changed my mind

Now I’m angry

Now I’m mean

With very little left

In-between

3

Overcome

Most of the time

I do quite wells

Smile on my face

Everything swell

But when those tears

Decide to fall

The reality is

There’s fuck all

I can do

To save myself

From drowning

0

Gone

Love him while

You still can

As the hands of death

Wait for no man

2

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