Back
In the beginning
There was
So much
To adore
And yet
I still ended
Up crying
On the bathroom
Floor
"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
Back
In the beginning
There was
So much
To adore
And yet
I still ended
Up crying
On the bathroom
Floor
I remember the day
We got the keys
Thinking the rest
Would be a breeze
But now I sit and rot
All alone
In what should have been
Our forever home
It rears it’s head
This time of year
The feeling of wishing
That I wasn’t here
I’ll try to push through
As best as I can
But I’d be lying to say
It wasn’t still a plan
It seems
The inevitable
Has happened
And I have finally
Gone mad
As I’m starting
To forget
The good things
Instead
Of just the bad
I’m relieved to read
Your memories
Have now started
To blend
As heaven knows
With enough guilt
I already
Must contend
When I saw him
Again today
All of that pain
Was washed away
Until I realised
It wasn’t him
And my heart, once more,
Cracked
From within
Do you think
We connected
Because we’re
Both damaged
Inside
That,
Perhaps,
We only found
Each other
As we had
Nowhere left
To hide
Another hour
Another day
Wishing I didn’t
Feel this way
Another second
Another minute
Life sure is shit
Without you in it
Xxx
I always knew
He’d break my heart
And in the end
He did
Not because
He’d never wed
But since I’m here
And he is dead
Cowering
Here
Pride
On the floor
Crippling
Fear
You’ll be back
For more
I understand
It takes time
For wounds
Like these
To heal
But I got bored
Of myself
Years ago
So fuck knows
How you feel
If only you
Could feel my pain
You’d never speak
To him again
Don’t you want to get better?
No, she politely replied
I think folks would be happier
If I just quietly died
A heart
Dejected
Words
Neglected
People
Rejected
Yet challenge
Accepted
What do you do
When you want to be touched
But you don’t really like
People very much
What do you do
When you want romance
But you’re in no way inclined
To give anyone a chance
Well, here’s what I do
I just stay in bed
And spend all day feeling
I’d be better off dead
All that time
Now gone
To waste
Next time
I'll tell you
With infinite haste
I guess you could say
I’ve been in mourning
With no desire to see
Yet another day dawning
And despite me trying
To relieve this burden
It would only be lying
To say my future is certain
You cannot say
You didn’t know
Or that I wasn’t clear
When I said no
The fact that you
Were “just a kid”
Will never justify
What you did
As the punches roll
Time takes it’s toll
And I lose more
And more
Each day
I can’t be wrong
Thinking
It won’t be long
Before I fully
Fade away
All that
Worry
And constant
Stress
Never made
Me love you
Any less
Xxx
I knew as soon
As we touched
All wasn’t
What it seemed
Yet it still hurt
My heart
When I woke
With a start
To realise
It was a dream
The dead
Of night
Is always
The worst
That’s when
The silence
Really hurts
I remember
Driving to see you
In the middle
Of the night
I didn’t want
To talk
I just needed
To feel your might
Because I knew
When you kissed me
You’d wrap your arms
Around me tight
And that you
Would be the one
To make everything
Alright
Xxx
I suppose
I’ve never
Really cared
For people,
Places,
Or things
But just dealt
With the
Endless
Melancholy
That abject
Depression
Brings
I’d spent
So much time
Planning
On how
To end it all
That I forgot
How much
Just laughing
Can help
Avoid the wall
The more
I look
The more
I see
And I really
Don't like
What's in front
Of me
I am always here
He said
If you ever want
To talk
We could sit
And have a coffee
He said
Or go out
For a walk
Thank you
For the offer
She said
But I’d really
Rather not
If I start taking now
She said
I don’t think
I’d ever stop
It fucked me up
That much is true
But the lonliness
Was nothing new
Knowing
We’ll never
Meet again
Isn’t even
The worst
It’s more the fact
You never called back
That really
Fucking hurts
As we have found
Where your body has lain
We hope it heals
Your family’s pain
And though they’ll struggle
To see past the rain
Now you can be
Together again
I clear the table
But leave your plate
Telling myself
You’re just running late
Over
And over again
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