Campfire Tales

I ask
them
over
and
over
again

What
did
I do to
deserve
this
pain

As I
look
up to
the
starry
sky

The
knife
you
plunged
makes
me cry

Cambuslang

All
those
days we
stayed
in bed

They
rattle
around
inside
my head

Until
the tears
run from
my eyes

As the
love we
shared
slowly
dies

Xxx

K(not)

All
I can
say is
I live
in hope

That
one day
I will
tie that
rope

As
tightly
as I see
it in
my mind

And
all my
troubles
I’ll leave
behind

Reminiscence

I could
spend
hours
writing
poetry

But
I could
never
do it
justice

How
once
upon
a time
we
had
it
all

But
now
I’ve
been
left
lifeless

Bruised

It’s
OK

You
can
say
it

After
all
it’s
true

I
know
you
never

Really
loved
me

Like
how
I loved
you

‘Interlude’

Time has dragged on today

Even more than most

It started off quite well too

Sitting down with tea and toast

But then the clock seemed to stop

At some point this afternoon

When opening up my laptop

Did nothing to lift the gloom

And as the evening drew itself in

I’ve sat here all alone

Thouroughly bored in my own skin

Barely stifling a groan

So now I guess I’ll go to bed

And lie there on my own

Until the clock stops in my head

And I dream in monochrome

Trauma

But
you
were
doing
so well

He
said

I
don’t
quite
understand

Coming
back
from
hell

She
said

Doesn’t
always
go to
plan

Sick & Tired

And
so
begins
another
day

Where
I pretend
every
thing
is ok

If
only
there
was
another
way

As I
hate
being
such a
fucking
cliché

Drunk, Down and Potentially Out

Yet another day with the urge to quit

How the fuck do I deal with it

Without you by my side

With all your love and kindness to me me denied

Perhaps I should just put it all to an end

Rather than continue going around the bend

As hanging on has never been worth it

Not when I face this tsunami of bullshit

The Two Of Us

I don’t want just anyone,

I only want you.

To feel you,

Touch you,

Wrap my arms around you.

Hold you,

Squeeze you,

Bring me to my knees,

You.

It’s always been you.

Eighteen Months

It’s
all
still
so
fucking
surreal

I
can’t
get my
head
around
it

Fuck
knows
what
I am
supposed
to feel

Let
alone
how
to
explain
it

(Compass)ion

It must be
so easy
for you

Loving
your life
as you do

But spare a
thought for
the likes of me

Drowning
in a sea of
melancholy

My Dark Heart

Although
my mind
is broken

And my
soul has
been torn
apart

Underneath
all the
sadness
I’m still

A hopeless
romantic
at heart

Bereavement

Just
when
I think
I’ve got
no tears
left

They
fall
down
my
face
again

Why
the fuck
didn’t
someone
tell
me

How
to
prepare
for all
this
pain

Mis-sold The Dream

Will I
always
be like
this

She
asked

Will I
always
be so
sad?

There’s
no point
asking
me

He
said

You’re not
the only
one who’s
been had

Grieving

Are you
sure it’s
gone?

What
about
love?

He
asked

Compassion?

Make
no
mistake

I’ve
lost
it all

She
replied

Her
face,
ashen

‘Twilight’

I wish
I could
remember

The
good
old
days

But I
fear they
were just
a lie

For I
cannot
recall

Any
time in
my life

When I
didn’t
want
to die

A Helping Hand

Although
we have
now come
to an end

Your help
to me
has been
a godsend

Even
though
my heart
you could
not mend

You’ve
stopped
me from
going round
the bend

Jealousy

I
see
you
there
happily
together

Holding
hands
tightly
whatever
the
weather

And my
heart
cannot
help
but
cry

For a
life
that
has now
passed
me by

Xxx

Hard Times

Being
in love
with you

Sometimes

Was a
thankless
task

But I’d
do it
all again

You know

Without
having to
be asked

Xxx

Lament

I
look
at
those
photos
of you

And
your
eyes
bore
into
mine

I
remember
why I
fell
for
you

And
I wish
we
could
go back
in time

Xxx

You Have Been Warned

I’m
too
scared
to go
out
today

For
the
dark
thoughts
haven’t
gone away

I’m
worried
I’m so
far into
this
slump

That I’ll
be left
with no
choice
but to
jump

The Spiral

It feels like
every day I fall

A little further
down the hole

Losing just
a wee bit more

Of my mind,
body and soul

A Forgone Conclusion

It’s
very
nice of
you to
be kind

But
please
don’t
pay me
any mind

For I
am just
a cause
that’s
lost

As into the
pyre my
heart’s
been
tossed

Hindsight

If I
could
go back
to that
night

Knowing
what
I
now
know

I would
hold you
in my
arms so
tight

And
never
let
you
go

Xxx

Cardiac Arrest

My heart
has been
aching
all day

Nothing
has made
the pain
go away

Perhaps
this will
finally be
the end

And I’ll
no longer
have to
pretend

Nice Try

Thank
you
for the
offer

But I
really
must
say no

There is
no need
for you
to listen

To any
more of
my tales
of woe

Teardrops

I’d give
anything
to have
you back

To
hold
you
close

To
pull
you
near

To
never
shed
another
tear

But I
know
now
that
will
never
happen

For I’m
destined
to live
a life
without
such
passion

Random #23

‘I know that living with you, baby, was sometimes hard…

…But I’m willing to give it another try’

– Prince

Anhedonic

Trying
hard
to
survive

This
thing
called
life

Hoping
to fend
off the
madness

Striving
so
much
to find

Heartening
peace
of
mind

Hiding
under my
duvet of
sadness

Robbed

I wish
we
could
have
spoken

Right
at
the
very
end

I’ll
miss
your
voice
forever

The
sound
of my
best
friend

A Glimmer Of Hope

I wish
it was
different
for you

She
said

And things
didn’t have
to be
this way

Don’t
you
worry
about me

He
said

I’m sure
I’ll live
to fight
another day

Going It Alone

However
hard I
look
for you

You’re not
here to
help me
through

So with
no one
else to
turn to

I’ll just
struggle on
without
a clue

Wondering Late At Night

Would I
have made
a different
choice

If I had
never
heard
your
voice?

Would I
live in a
different
place

If I had
never
seen
your
face?

Would your
death have
hurt me
this much

If I had
never
felt
your
touch?

Nothing

Nothing makes
me happy

Nothing makes
me smile

There’s nothing left
to look forward to

Nothing that
feels worthwhile

Brutal Honesty

I wish
I could
take your
pain away

Tell
you that
everything
will be okay

But
I know
the truth

They
don’t
get
better

And
then
what
you had
is lost

Forever

Utterly Helpless

I really wish
that I could do more

Like pick you up
from the bathroom floor

Hug you when
your heart is breaking

And give you comfort
when your bones are aching

But for as much as
your pain to me is known

This is a journey
you must walk alone

‘Lonely This Christmas’

I remember when we stayed in bed all day

And just ate crisps and cheese

I remember when I surprised you with gifts

And you couldn’t have been more pleased

I remember when you chatted with my Gran

And you were welcomed by my crazy clan

I remember receiving your last present

Sent to me all the way from heaven

I miss you so much today

That you’re not here is a shame

As Christmas Day without you

Will never be the same

Xxx

Regime #7

I think
these pills
have
stopped
working

They
have
become
just a
token

For
they no
longer
take away
the hurting

From a
heart
that is
already
broken

Epitaph

Do you
ever wish
you could
give up?

Say right,
that’s it,
I’ve had
enough!

I’m done
with all
this fucking
shit

I’m finally
going
through
with it!

Well,
that’s what
I think
every day

I find
those words
so easy
to say

And now,
it seems,
the demons
have won

For I can
say that I’m
officially
done

Helpless

This grief
is all
consuming

Who knows
when it
will end

As not only
have I lost
my lover

I have
lost my
best friend

Capitulation

I am
now
ready
to walk
away

As you’ve
made it
impossible
for me
to stay

All I
hope
is
that
one day

You
are as
unhappy
as I am
today

Buried

No one
ever
loved me
like you

And now
I’ve lost
it all

So with
no one
left to
turn to

Towards
the hole
I crawl

The Old Days

Waking along
this empty street

Splashing puddles
with my feet

I remember when
we used to meet

And my broken heart
skips a beat

Bleeding

It feels
like I’ve
been robbed

Of the
only love
in my life

This pain
runs deep,
she sobbed,

As it cuts
through me
like a knife

The Storm

The
window
shields
me from
the rain

As the
wind
outside
howls
my name

I know
I can’t
come back
here again

As
nothing
ever stays
the same

Xxx

Cancer

It was
all just
so fucking
unfair

You were
taken from
me without
a care

With what
seemed like
no time at
all to prepare

We had no
choice but
our souls
to bare

Xxx

Sunset

I’m glad I came here today,

There’s nowhere else I’d want to be.

I’m glad we travelled all this way,

Just you and me.

Xxx

Left Bereft

I
was so
devastated
for you
that day

As
you had
travelled
all that
way

Hoping
to say
your
final
goodbye

But your
time
together
was so
cruelly
denied

Xxx

Silly Arguments

Fuck
this
shit

She
said

I’m
going
home

I’ll
walk
you

He
said

You
can’t
go alone

I
don’t
need
you

She
said

Why
don’t you
just drop
dead

You’ll be
sorry you
wished for
that

He
said

When
you’re
alone in
our bed

Many A Moon

As that
day draws
ever closer

The pain
cannot be
avoided

To think
it was just
a year ago

When my
whole world
imploded

Home Sweet Home

They say
you can
never go
home
again

And I’m
starting
to believe
that’s
true

For all
that resides
here now
is a world
of pain

And
far too
many
memories
of you

Just Me

Life was
cruel to him

And people
were cruel too

It was only me
who was kind

Me who stuck by
him like glue

One Year Ago

If I
just
don’t
think
about
it

Then
maybe
that
day
won’t
come

I’m
just
not
sure
I can
face it

When
all
is
said
and
done

What’s The Point?

It
feels
like
I’ll
never
laugh
again

As my
life
is so
full of
sorrow
and pain

Like
I’ll
no
longer
be able
to smile

And
that
nothing
I do will
ever be
worthwhile

Down

I can’t
do anything
any more

All I do
is sit
and stare

Questioning
myself all
the time

Moaning
how life
isn’t fair

In truth
I actually
bore myself

So fuck
knows why
you care

Masochism

Every time
I hear
this song

It brings
tears to
my eyes

And pain
to my
heart

A reminder of
all I’ve come
to despise

And how
we’ll forever
be apart

I should
just press
stop

Switch
off the
laptop

And
walk
away…

The Lamp

I should
have been
more careful
with what
I wished for

Because
I never
wanted it
to end like
this at all

Our House

Nothing in this house
makes sense anymore

Madness lurks
behind every door

Memories of all
the love we swore

Leave my head in a spin
and my heart on the floor

Flowers

You never
once
bought
me flowers

Which used
to make
me mad

Now I don’t
give a fuck
about any
of that stuff

I just
want you
back

Keeping Busy

It’s been
a busy
few days

In
many
ways

But now all
my tasks are
completed

So with
nothing
left to do

I’ll soon
be thinking
of you

And how
I’ve been left
feeling cheated

The Anniversary

It will
soon be
a year,
without
you here,
and I
don’t
know
what
to do.

For I’m
still
nowhere
near,
facing
my fear,
or the
reality
of losing
you.

Xxx

Undeserving

I’ll
never
fall
in love
again

Not
that
I ever
wanted
to be

Love is
for those
with
delicate
souls

And
not
for the
likes
of me

Acceptance

I
asked
the
doctor

When
will the
tablets
work?

When do
they take
away my
hurt?

Nothing
will
do that,
she said

Tablets
only
make it
easier to
get out
of bed

I
asked
the
doctor

Are
you
sure?

Won’t
you do
something
more?

There’s
nothing
else I
can do,
she said

You just
have to
accept
that he
is dead

?

What did I do
to deserve this?

Why did this
happen to me?

Where will
I end up now?

Who is coming
to save me?