I used to be nice
I used to be kind
Then something happened
That changed my mind
Now I’m angry
Now I’m mean
With very little left
In-between
Number Six
And so it falls
Another New Year’s Day
Yet this feeling of loss
Never fades away
Festive Cheer (Or Lack Thereof)
Hold on to your baubles
He said
Santa’s coming to town!
Well, let’s hope he fucking dawdles
She said
Because all I can do is frown
Overcome
Most of the time
I do quite wells
Smile on my face
Everything swell
But when those tears
Decide to fall
The reality is
There’s fuck all
I can do
To save myself
From drowning
Is Depression Contagious?
Join me
He said
By the fire
It’s cold outside
And the rain, dire
Thank you
She said
But I’d better not
As you wouldn’t want
What I have got
Gone
Love him while
You still can
As the hands of death
Wait for no man
What Do You Want From Me?
You don’t see it, do you?
She said
The sadness in my eyes
That’s because you hide it
He said
So you shouldn’t be surprised
“I Left The North Again”
They say you
Should never
Go home again
As you’ll only
Be disappointed
But it’s being back
On the road again
That makes me feel
Disjointed
Sleeping On Trains
From the corner
Of my eye
I see you
Sitting there
Her head resting
On your thigh
Your fingers
Stroking her hair
I remember those days
My head touching his
When my heart
Would do nothing but flip
Yet all I feel now
Seeing such bliss
Is the overwhelming urge
To be sick
Deadened
I wish
That things
Were different
And I could be
More in control
But my drive
Is non existent
So I’m stuck here
In this hole
So Lonely
I don’t know if I
Can see this through
As it’s all so empty
Without you
Cardboard City
Another winters night
Passes me by
As I lie here and think
Why me God, why?
I did everything
That you asked
Completed each
And every task
And yet here I am
All alone
With nowhere safe
To call my home
Wondering what else
I have to do
To feel anything other
Than contempt from you
Unplanned
When we said
Goodbye that day
We didn’t know
It would be
Forever
And yet
I’m left
Here alone
With only
Our memories
To treasure
Night Nurse
With medications
To administer
And all those wounds
To dress
I think I said
Goodbye to you
Before you even left
Xxx
Taken Unawares
I stand at the window
Waiting to see you get off
But the bus whistles past
Without needing to stop
Because, of course,
You never got on
As I remember, with force,
That you are gone
Xxx
Disconnected
Not only
She said
Do I miss you
But on days
Like this
I miss me too
Burnt Out
Lacking in motivation
Devoid of all desire
Wondering if salvation
Is in the funeral pyre
In The Doldrums
Tongue tied
Dead inside
Lying
On my bed of nails
Forever lonely
Seeing true love only
In films
And fairy tales
Chasing Ghosts
I saw you sit
At the platform today
And I cried as my train
Pulled away
Prolonging The Agony
Here again
Drunk on wine
Dulling the pain
I feel inside
By staring deep
Into your eyes
Trying not to weep
While part of me dies
My Heart Was Never In It
When we stood
Up there that day
And promised
We’d always be true
It seems all I proved
As our marriage concludes
Is that I’m a better liar
Than you
Obliteration
She knew
How many
Were in
The drawer
So to achieve
Her goal
She knew she’d
Need more
Top Of The Pops
When those bands
Of old
Don’t speak to you
And the comfort
Of music
Is gone
It won’t matter
Where
Because
I’ll be there
To help you
Carry on
Broken Promises
The fool and her heart
Were very soon parted
As he couldn’t finish
What he started
Unkept
You said
To me
You’d always
Be true
Yet it’s clear
That forever
Meant fuck all
To you
(Originally Posted 22.02.2021)
Joyeux Anniversaire
It’s taken me by surprise
This year
As I thought I’d be OK
Yet I feel utterly desolate
Lying here
Washing my tears away
Xxx
What Should Have Been
Twenty two years
Just me and you
Sitting on the sofa
With wine and food
But it’s not to be
As you’re three years gone
So any romance today
Just feels wrong
Xxx
(Originally Posted 14.02.2022)
Trust Me
Hold your partner
Close today
Show them your love
In every way
Because when all this
Is said and done
You’ll fucking miss them
When they’re gone
Xxx
‘Wishing I Was Lucky’
Forever
destined
to be
cold
and
lonely
As
I have
lost
my
one
and
only
Xxx
(Originally Posted 14.02.2020)
It Doesn’t Take Much
My heart aches just
That little bit more
As I read this
With a sigh
Remembering the time
With your hand in mine
Crying
We said goodbye
Xxx
‘Everything Must Go’
Don’t
say
anything
else
He
said
Please,
just
hold
my
hand
I’ll
stay
until
we
reach
She
said
Our
line in
the
sand
(Originally Posted 07.02.2020)
Save Me
Those oceans feel
A little calmer now
As those days
Have passed me by
So from here
I’ll just tread water
Hoping for help
Before I die
The Drowning Girl
Tears
run into
oceans
Hours
bleed into
days
As I go
through
the motions
Trapped
between
the waves
(Originally Posted 21.01.2021)
Frostbite
Even if I wanted
To get up
And seize the day
It’s far too cold
For one so old
Outside anyway
Anhedonic
Trying
hard
to
survive
This
thing
called
life
Hoping
to fend
off the
madness
Striving
to find
Some peace
of mind
Underneath
this
duvet of
sadness
(Originally Posted 06.01.2020)
Minutiae
You think that when
Someone dies
It’s the big things
That you’ll miss
But what causes pain
To grieving brain
Is missing the small things
That they did
Even A Broken Clock Is Right Twice A Day
I can’t
even
change
The time
on the
oven
It’s just
one more
thing
I have
discovered
Since
you’ve
gone
(Originally Posted 04.01.2020)
Living On The Edge
All those years
Spent with you
Silently
Being driven mad
But there’s no denying
(So it’s pointless trying)
That they were the best
I’ve ever had
Taking Things For Granted
I always
thought
being
with you
was hell
Seems
the boredom
of being
without you
is worse
Xxx
(Originally Posted 03.01.2022)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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