Tag: sadness

On Deaf Ears

I couldn’t begin tell you

How true this one still is

As even now I spend each morning

Screaming into the abyss

#7 The Banshee

After all the wailing

And gnashing of teeth

There’s no point in being violent

From now on

With my spirit long gone

All my screams will be silent

(Originally Posted 02.09.2021)

0

Especially At Work

I used to hide

So much back then

I’m amazed I got through the day

Reading this I remember

How exhausted I was

Pretending that I was okay

Secret Anxiety

Sickness grows

Frustration shows

Conversation slows

But no one knows

(Originally Posted 28.09.2019)

2

Hamlet Is My Favorite, Obviously

Check me out

Getting all high brow

Quoting Shakespeare, no less

To help describe how

Hard it can be

When fighting off sadness

Even if there is method

In it’s madness

Shaking Spears

‘When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions ‘

‘Tell me about it, my friend, that’s why we fucking deserve medallions’

(Originally Posted 27.08.2020)

2

On Grief

People say things

Get better with time

Which may be their truth

But it isn’t mine

Not Long Now

Each day brings

Yet more false hope

Along with an another

Earth shattering new low

I really am just

Biding my time now

Waiting until

It’s my turn to go

(Originally Posted 27.08.2019)

23

The Promise That Can’t Be Kept

He knew right then

As he watched

The tear fall from her eye

It was best to forget

And to just let

His feelings for her die

Silent Conversations

Not yet
but soon
she says,
as she makes her
way to the door

But when,
how soon
he asks
as he stares
at the floor

Not yet
but soon
she says,
as her head
is slowly bowed

But when,
how soon
he asks
will we
be allowed?

(Originally Posted 22.08.2019)

2

Still A Fair Assessment

There’s nothing more to add to this

As there’s nothing more to say.

This may have been written,

Three years ago,

But it remains the truth today.

Two Sides

I lie
in your bed
and I lie
to your face.

I am a
public fraud
and a private
disgrace.

(Originally Posted 20.09.2019)

0

‘Taking Different Roads’

Ultimately,
I can’t
come
back

For an
earthly
body,
I now
lack

But
regardless
of that,
you should
know

I’ll
always be
with you,
wherever
you go

Love Lost

If I
promise
to love
you
more

Than
I ever
did
before

Would
you
come
back
to me?

Xxx

(Originally Posted 16.08.2020)

6

Life Events

There were so many photos taken

Back in twenty nineteen

And I had to pose

All alone

With a gap where you should’ve been

Speechless

There is so much
I want to tell you

So many things
I want to share

But my tears flow
all over again

When I realise
you’re not there

(Originally Posted 15.08.2019)

6

With Time Comes Acceptance, Supposedly

Stain free

Pain free

Neither really

Matter to me

As I’m still mad

And deeply sad

That this is how

It has to be

Only Sadness Remains

I wander barefoot
in the rain

Trying to wash
away your stain

Now that I’m left
in eternal pain

I’d give anything
to laugh again

(Originally Posted 12.08.2019)

4

Putting The Flags Away

I don’t know why

I got carried away

I only smiled

That one day

It’s not like my sadness

Can fade to grey

As this black cloud

Is here to stay

‘A Little Peculiar’

Something happened this morning

When I sat up in my bed

I found that instead of yawning

I actually smiled instead

(Originally Posted 10.08.2020)

2

It’s The Little Things On A Day Like This

A card left for me

On the pillow

Flowers and a bath bomb or two

I’ll buy them myself

Again this year

As there’s no way I can get them from you

Xxx

O Unhappy Day

I never
thought
you
wouldn’t
be here
today

It’s
still
hard to
accept
that you
went away

Perhaps
you’re
still
with me
here in
spirit

I just
wish
your
presence
was more
explicit

Xxx

(Originally Posted 08.08.2020)

6

‘Priceless Advice’

Take all of your keepsakes

They say

And put them in a box

That way you will always have

A reminder of who you’ve lost

But not everything can be locked away

And it’s those things that you miss

It’s not like a shirt can replace a hug

Or a photo a kiss

Sense (less)

I’m starting to forget.

Your face,

Your voice,

Your touch.

I don’t like it.

(Originally Posted 30.07.2019)

0

In Desperation

There’s a chance this one might work

He said

Proffering her a wand

She near broke his hand

As she snatched it and ran

Before he could even respond

The Magic Shop

What
brings
you
here

He
said

What
can
I do
for
you?

I
just
need
a spell

She
said

To
make
it not
be
true

(Originally Posted 29.07.2020)

4

Signs Of Improvement

Things were so hard

For me back then

Every day

My outlook was bleak

And though the worst has passed

I still feel downcast

For at least

One day each week

Not Today

No-one can shield me,
from this pain within.

Nothing can soothe me,
now the rot has set in.

(Originally Posted 24.07.2019)

6

(Not So) Super Glue

Misery loves company

Isn’t that what they say?

Well you and I know

We feel that with gusto

So neither of us

Will be walking way

Bonding

Admit it.

You hate this as much as I do.

It’s what keeps us together.

(Originally Posted 20.07.2019)

13

“Wait For Me, Wait For Me”

They tell you that

It’s time that heals

But time moves

So fucking slowly

In fact all time does do

Is exacerbate the issue

When you’re this heartbroken

And lonely

When Will It End?

Biting my nails
until they bleed,
doesn’t give me
the relief I need.

Scratching my skin
until it’s breaking,
doesn’t stop my
heart from aching.

When will it end,
this pain I’m feeling?
When does it stop,
when do I start healing?

(Originally Posted 17.07.2019)

2

Wednesday 8pm

So I’m back
home now,
after that
shit show

Only two
more days
of pretending
to go

Then it’s
the weekend,
so I’ll be free
to lament

And avoid
all people,
to my hearts
content

Wednesday 2.30am (Pt 1)

I can’t even
bear the thought
of what’s to
come tomorrow

No doubt
it’ll just be
more misery
and sorrow

Perhaps I’d
be better
off staying
in bed

Then I might
just escape
the thoughts
in my head

(Originally Posted 17.07.2019)

Wednesday 11am (Pt 2)

So I managed,
in the end,
to get out of bed

And it’s been
shit so far,
just as I predicted

It seems I was right,
I should never
have tried

For I’ll never
escape this
pain inside

(Originally Posted 17.07.2019)

2

The Baton Nobody Wants

Now the worst has happened

And the handover is complete

There is nothing I can say or do

To help him back to his feet

Handover

You’ll
never
cope

She
said

When
this
happens
to you

I
know

He
said

I’m
dreading
it too

(Originally Posted 16.07.2020)

0

Despite What The Ads Said

There
were
times,
back
then,

When
I just
wasn’t
worth
it

Water

It’s
amazing
the
difference
a shower
can make

Inside
and
out…

(Originally Posted 16.07.2019)

4

We Don’t Just Binge On Food

There was a time

In this journey of mine

When it wasn’t so much the where

Than with whom

Hardly in my prime

And with things far from fine

I just didn’t care

Who was in my bedroom

Sleeping Around

Try
as I
may

With
all
of my
might

I
have
no
idea

Where
I’ll
sleep
tonight

(Originally Posted 14.07.2020)

2

Poignant

Sometimes I

Have nothing to add

No further words

Or updates

This is one

Of those times,

I think,

As when I read this

My heart breaks

Leftovers

A weak and weary
confused mind

An empty and
hollow heart

As bleak as it is,
it is all I have

As my life has
fallen apart

(Originally Posted 13.07.2019)

8

Random #218

‘And if one day
You should see me in the crowd
Lend a hand and lift me
To your place in the cloud’

2

Random #217

“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”

– F. Scott Fitzgerald

0

Is This It?

I really hadn’t

Given much thought

To how hard

Life would be

Alone

The constant struggle

In this suffocating bubble

And all so far away

From home

A Tale Of Two Cities

I really don’t want to leave

But I know that I can’t stay

Though I’ll be alone

Wherever I go

So I’m screwed either way

(Originally Posted 05.07.2019)

4

‘I’m Waiting For My Man’

Quite a subtle reference here

To a drug I’ve seen

But never taken

I’ve just always known

Being dependence prone

That beast never to awaken

Need(le)

I
need
you
here

Please
come
and
save
me

I
need
to
feel

The
love
you
gave
me

(Originally Posted 01.07.2020)

6

‘Back To Black’

Yet as the sun came out

Last summer

The glue I’d used soon melted

So whatever I felt back then

Didn’t start a trend

Or conclude as well as projected

Out Of The Blue

I woke up with a smile

Today

All the bad feeling

Had gone away

It actually felt

Like it was the start

Of gluing back together

My broken heart

(Originally Posted 30.06.2021)

2

I Dreamt About Him Last Night

I dreamt about him last night

You know

For only the third time since he died

At least we had fun

In this one

And it was when I woke up I cried

A Heavenly Reunion

What
are
you
doing
here

He
said

I
told
you
not
to
follow

I
couldn’t
take
any
more

She
said

Life
without
you
left
me
hollow

Xxx

(Originally Posted 29.06.2020)

9

Wish You Were Here

If only I could make it better

But there is no way that I can

For you have lost her forever

Just the same as I lost my man

Real Talk

It
hurts
my
heart

To
hear
you
cry

And
watch
you
break

Like
this

As
your
life

Falls
apart

And
you
stare

Into
the
abyss

(Originally Posted 25.06.2020)

4

‘At The Dark End Of The Street’

As
life
continues

To slip
through
my fingers

Here
I stand,
still

As the
sadness
lingers

Tinged With Sadness

In
amongst
all of
this
madness

Here
I stand

Heart
tinged
with
sadness

(Originally Posted 24.06.2020)

2

Only Traces Left

No matter how hard you strive

To keep a memory alive

They’re always forgotten

In the end

At All

I reach
for your hand,
but it’s not there,
and further into
the abyss
I fall.

I search
for your face,
but you don’t care,
and it’s like we
were never here
at all.

(Originally Posted 20.06.2019)

12

Random #209

‘Why are you so sarcastic all the time?’

‘Cause it stops me killing people – including myself’

– Tony

2

Tickets Please

I wrote this one

On a train

Unhappy with life

Once again

Insides

Another grey sky.
Another bleak landscape.
Another version of me.
Looking out,
Looking in.

(Originally Posted 04.06.2019)

3

There’s No Fun In Funeral

Crying in the chapel

Many years ago

Missing you intently

And wishing it wasn’t so

Granite

I wish
you were
with me

Gently
squeezing
my hand

Providing
me with
comfort

Helping me
understand

(Originally Posted 28.05.2020)

4

‘Coming Apart Yet Still Not Done’

Only a year ago

This one

And still no better than when I started

Sometimes I fear

There’ll never be an end

To feeling so broken hearted

The End Of The Road

Pretending gets tiring

After a while

So in the end you stop

With no cylinders left firing

And an inibility to smile

It’s back up to that rooftop

(Originally Posted 13.05.2021)

2

The Meet-Cute

So I suppose

This is the part

Where you say hello

And break my heart

All Good Things

So
I
suppose

This
is the
part

Where
you say
goodbye

And
break my
heart

(Originally Posted 04.05.2020)

15

Shut In

As if all I do

Is wander around

And weep into the rain

When I really feel blue

To my bed I am bound

As that is my real domain

Grey Days

I love
walking
on grey days

The raindrops
land on my face
and mingle with
my tears

Hiding them
from prying
eyes

(Originally Posted 02.05.2019)

7

‘Life Is Unfair’

It hurts almost as much

To see how sad I was

As it does

To remember you

Reminders

It’s when it comes from nowhere,
that’s the worst.

The hysterical sobs that hit without warning.

When I’m driving and our song comes on the radio.
When a letter arrives and it’s addressed to you.
When I find a pair of your socks in my drawer.

My throat constricts,
as my lungs compress.

My stomach lurches,
as my heart laments.

And my eyes burn as I drown, slowly, in my own tears.

(Originally Posted 18.04.2019)

6

The Cliché Continues

Still here

Still pretending

Still living

With grief unending

Sick & Tired

And
so
begins
another
day

Where
I pretend
every
thing
is ok

If
only
there
was
another
way

As I
hate
being
such a
fucking
cliché

(Originally Posted 14.04.2020)

7

The Restoration

It’s sad to think

I was on the brink

With thoughts so dark

Back then

At least now

I feel better, somehow

So won’t need that knife

Again

Cards On The Table

So this is
what it
amounts to

All I have
to show for
my life

Do you
know

I can’t
actually
be arsed

Please,
just pass me
the knife

(Originally Posted 26.03.2020)

11

A Temporary Fix

I have since toiled

Without that guide

Pasting my heart

With water and flour

I just have to hope

It continues to hold

Though it’s looking less likely

By the hour

My Heart

My heart is smashed into a thousand tiny pieces.

I don’t have the glue to put it back together.

And I lost the instruction manual years ago.

(Originally Posted 14.03.2019)

11

A Semi Shared Experience

And still your agony continues

In difference to me

She continues to linger on

Whilst he’s already been set free

Foreboding

It’s all just so wrong

This shouldn’t be happening to you

Not as it hasn’t been that long

Since it happened to me too

I’m not sure how to act

And I’m not sure what to say

For there’s nothing that can take the pain

Of what’s to come away

(Originally Posted 06.03.2020)

0

In Memoriam

There is nothing

Left to do

There isn’t anything

Else to say

I just really

Fucking miss him

Every single day

Xxx

8

Random #171

‘Give me a whisper
And give me a sigh
Give me a kiss before you
Tell me goodbye
Don’t you take it so hard now
And please don’t take it so bad
I’ll still be thinkin’ of you
And the times we had, baby’

11

What Should Have Been

Twenty two years

Just me and you

Sitting on the sofa

With wine and food

But it’s not to be

As you’re three years gone

So any romance today

Just feels wrong

Xxx

12

Depleted

It was easier when I was angry

When I was filled with hate

When I wanted nothing more

Than your head on a plate

It’s harder now I’m ‘better’

As the bitterness subsides

For all I have been left with

Is this hollowness inside

21

Random #161

‘And if you’re in love
Then you are the lucky one
‘Cause most of us are bitter
Over someone
Setting fire to our insides for fun
To distract our hearts
From ever missing them
But I’m forever missing him

And you caused it…’

21

Random #158

‘Stab the body and it heals, but injure the heart and the wound lasts a lifetime.’

– Mineko Iwasaki

9

Betrayed

I don’t know

If I can forgive you

For all the pain

And hurt

It’s not that we

Can’t be friends now

But more I don’t think

We ever were

13

Random #156

‘All that was good,
All that was fair,
All that was me is gone.’

– Robert Louis Stevenson

8

Resolute

“New year, new me”

Is that what you want me to say?

Well, I’m not pretending

I’ll get a happy ending

Just like any other Friday

16

Whatever You Say

I’m going to be happy today

She said

Push this sadness from my mind

I’ll give you half an hour

He said

And even then that’s being kind

18

El Paradiso

You find me here alone
Broken and desolate

With nothing to call my own
Except for beer and regret

5

Random #146

‘I’ve fallen down another rung of the ladder, and I know I’ve got a fight on my hands‘

– Sean Hughes

7

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