Tag: self esteem

Over The Hill

You think

A diet,

Hair dye,

And dentistry

Will help you

Find a mate

But, my dear,

Alas, I fear,

You’ve left it

Far too late

4

Beautifully Ruined

For the first time

In a long time

I felt myself

Today

Full of lumps

Bruises and bumps

Yet I still took

My own breath away

2

Affection

It matters not

In the end

If from a woman

Or a man

Sometimes

All you can do

Is to take

Whatever you can

0

Used To It

It’s not me you want

It’s her, over there

With the sparkly eyes

And the perfect hair

But I’ll play along

And my feelings, ignore

After all I’ve done it

Plenty times before

0

Mere Mortal

If I could learn

To love myself

I know how happy

I could be

But the effort required 

Would be superhuman

And I don’t have that much

In me

4

Thinking Out Loud (Bonus Post)

I watch you from

Across the room

And see your face fill

With dread

If only you

Could see what I do

And quiet that voice

Inside your head

Internal Monologue

What the fuck
is wrong with you?

Just cheer up,
you miserable cunt

Your wallowing
is excruciating

And your self
pity an affront

(Originally Posted 29.02.2020)

2

Safekeeping

I’m not sure

What I was protecting here

My mind, body or soul

Either way, it seems,

I’d go to extremes

To keep whatever makes me whole

Access Denied

What I have

Is not for you

It is mine and mine alone

If you want

What I have got

Fuck off and find your own

(Originally Posted 15.02.2022)

2

No Oil Painting

You need to get out more

She said

Get yourself back on the market

There’s no point in either

She said

As I doubt I’d be anyone’s target

Overlooked

What do you think

It would it take

For you

To notice me

Should I wear

A skimpy dress

Paint my lips

So readily?

Well all I have

Is my words

So I guess

That counts me out

As there’s nothing at all

About them

That suggests

I’d like to hangout

(Originally Posted 30.01.2021)

2

Crowning Glory

There’s nothing like

A good cut and blow

To help restore

Your get up and go

Hair Dye

So I’ll walk away

And say cheerio

To the girl

I used to know

(Originally Posted 05.10.2020)

2

Habit Of A Lifetime

Just stop this negative talk

He said

I won’t hear any more of it

But those seeds have been sown

She said

Ever since I was a kid

Sham(e)

I got
bored of
this shit
a long
time ago

These
endless
tales of
sadness
and woe

Now with
eyes that
burn from
the tears
that flow

I loathe
myself
more than
you’ll
ever know

(Originally Posted 23.08.2019)

0

First Love Isn’t Always Kind

It does not matter

That my heart’s shattered

And my self esteem is on the floor

I know you only call me

When you’re feeling horny

And yet I’ll always be back for more

Bad Habits

We
really
should

Give
this
thing
up

But
my
willpower
is
fading

If
we
could
stop

Just
hooking
up

Then this
wouldn’t
feel so
degrading

(Originally Posted 12.08.2020)

6

Bash(Ful)

It was nice of them

To think of me

Very kind of them to try

But all I could think

As I was ushered in

Was that I wanted to curl up and die

The Surprise Party

Sorry
that
I’m not
jumping
with
delight

But
I would
have
preferred
to be
alone
tonight

(Originally Posted 07.08.2020)

2

Despite What The Ads Said

There
were
times,
back
then,

When
I just
wasn’t
worth
it

Water

It’s
amazing
the
difference
a shower
can make

Inside
and
out…

(Originally Posted 16.07.2019)

4

Hyperbole

If only this one

Was the truth bar none

And I had such a steadfast allure

But in reality

This could never be me

As I am all too easily ignored

Push And Pull

Love me
or
loathe me

You’ll
never
escape me

So why
would
you even
try

Kiss me
or
kill me

You will
always
want me

So there’s
no point
in saying
goodbye

(Originally Posted 06.07.2019)

6

To Never Apologising Again

This is how

You made me feel

Pathetic, lonely

And small

It took me far too long

To realise

That this wasn’t love

At all

Apologies

I’m sorry I act like I don’t care,

I’m sorry it seems like I’m rarely there.

I’m sorry it looks like I don’t even try,

I’m sorry that you’ve never see me cry.

I’m sorry I never appear in a hurry,

I’m sorry I always make you worry.

I’m sorry I can’t be who you want me to be.

But most of all I’m just sorry for being me.

(Originally Posted 26.06.2019)

10

Persona(l)

I’m
glad
I don’t
give
much
away

As if
I did,
you’d
never
come
back

Self Esteem

There’s
nothing
more
disheartening

That
brings
me
consternation
and
strife

Than
to find
I’m
more
captivating

On
the
page

Than
I could
ever be
in real life

(Originally Posted 07.06.2020)

7

‘The Voice Inside My Head’

Whatever you say

Won’t hurt me

For when it comes

To my mental health

There is nothing that

I am better at

Than flagellating

Myself

Plus Ça Change

So
this
is
it

Lying
in bed
all day
again

Wine
and
cigarettes
my only
friend

I’m so
bored
of this
shit

I
could
make
myself
sick

I
really
am
nothing

But a
nauseating
prick

(Originally Posted 02.06.2020)

8

I Blame The Parents

The simple things in life

It seems

Are not for the likes of me

All I feel I deserve

It seems

Is pain and misery

Arcadia

Here
I am
again

Sitting
all
alone

I don’t
like this
anymore

I just
want to
go home

(Originally Posted 09.05.2020)

0

The Long Goodbye

I’ve never loved myself

So I didn’t expect you to either

Thank you so much for trying,

However,

But I knew we’d achieve neither

8

Two Faced

You will never beat me,

So please don’t even try.

I could choose to hurt you,

To really make you cry.

But I’m the better person,

Of that I have no doubt.

So just carry on with your bullshit,

Because you’ll never drive me out.

(Originally Posted 02.06.2019)

24

The Mirror

Hair crunchy like straw
Brain burst with chaos
Eyes darkened shadows
Arteries slick with grease
Lips rough as sandpaper
Cheeks stained with tears
Skin cracked and weeping
Forearms heavily scarred
Liver soaked with alcohol
Heart cold as granite

I hate looking in the mirror
For I do not like what I see
I shall stop looking in the mirror
For I do not like me

(Originally Posted 05.04.2019)

24

Middle-Aged Spread

Perhaps
I’ve
just
run out
of luck

Or
maybe
I don’t
give a
fuck

Either
way
it
doesn’t
matter

I must
accept
I’m
getting
fatter

10

Self Esteem

There’s
nothing
more
disheartening

That
brings
such
misery
and
strife

To
find
I’m
much
more
captivating

On
the
page

Than
in
real
life

10

Damaged Goods

It
really
isn’t
you,
it’s
me

You
deserve
to be
happy

But
you
won’t
get to
share

In
anything
with
me

But
sadness,
heartache
and
despair

And
untold
misery

22

GameFace

All I do is let
people down

They want
me to smile

But I can
only frown

For I no longer
have the energy

To be the person
they want me to be

10

Self Loathing

I wish
I could
see in
myself,

She
said,

What you’ve
seen since
our affair
began.

For that
you’d need
to love
yourself,

He
said,

And I
don’t
think
you can.

2

In My Eyes

No one
sees
me as
anything
more

Than a
sad and
lonely
depressed
old bore

A pathetic
waste of
space for
sure

Just
another
nuisance
to ignore

8

Killing Time

Why do I
find the
wait so
hard?

Is it
ego?

Is it
pride?

Or is it
because
I need you
to prove

That I’m not
completely
dead
inside?

2

Temple Bar

The hordes gather outside your hotel window.

Laughing,

Joking,

Having fun.

You wish you had the guts to be more like them.

Prettier,

Funnier,

More confident.

Instead you’re sitting in here alone with the curtains drawn.

With nothing but your ‘I Hate People’ badge for company.

9

Myself

Why can’t I trust myself,
like I trusted you?

Why can’t I protect myself,
like I protected you?

Why can’t I love myself,
like I loved you?

Why?

0

He Said / She Said

One day
You might be somebody’s something
He said

But today
I am nobody’s nothing
She said

One day
Somebody might love you
He said

But today
Nobody does
She said

0

Free Fall

I’ve always been troubled.

Born with a darkness at my core.

An ugliness seeping through every fibre of my being.

My body infected with an overall malaise.

I’ve learned, over the years, to hide the monster from most.

Although your death has left me in free fall,

The fact I hate myself and want to die is nothing new.

That’s how I know I can get through this.

And that I’ll be ok.

0

Travel

It doesn’t matter where in the world you go.

How beautiful the country you visit,

How fascinating the people you meet,

How much booze you drink.

You can’t run away from your thoughts.

You might have a different view from your window but your soul will remain as black as the night sky and, beneath it all, you’ll still be the same fuck up you always were.

Travel solves nothing.

0

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