Tag: sorrow

Late To The Party

If only you

Would ask me now

Instead

Of way back when

Because I’d say yes

And strongly suggest

That we stay anything

But friends

2

Lucid Drinking

As I sit here

Nursing a beer

Facing up

To the cold light of day

It is crystal clear

To me now, dear

You never loved me

Anyway

3

Diluted

She who was once vivacious

Grew ever weary from the pain

And though she remained flirtatious

She never truly loved again

As Time Goes By

From
happy
souls
the
lifeblood
drains

Until
nothing
but
the
darkness
remains

🖤

(Originally Posted 17.01.2020)

8

Only The Half Of It

Reading this one back again

I feel so sorry for her

Clearly she lost more,

When he died,

Than her words could ever infer

I Can’t Bring You Back Though, Can I?

I can look at your photo

I can whisper your name

I can press your shirt

Against my face

But nothing feels the same

(Originally Posted 11.12.2020)

0

Wednesday 8pm

So I’m back
home now,
after that
shit show

Only two
more days
of pretending
to go

Then it’s
the weekend,
so I’ll be free
to lament

And avoid
all people,
to my hearts
content

Wednesday 2.30am (Pt 1)

I can’t even
bear the thought
of what’s to
come tomorrow

No doubt
it’ll just be
more misery
and sorrow

Perhaps I’d
be better
off staying
in bed

Then I might
just escape
the thoughts
in my head

(Originally Posted 17.07.2019)

Wednesday 11am (Pt 2)

So I managed,
in the end,
to get out of bed

And it’s been
shit so far,
just as I predicted

It seems I was right,
I should never
have tried

For I’ll never
escape this
pain inside

(Originally Posted 17.07.2019)

2

Out Of My Hands

There wouldn’t be any problem

If I didn’t wake up tomorrow

At least I wouldn’t be in pain

Or suffocating in this sorrow

21

Ice

I suppose I should be happy the sun is shining again,

Feel a spring in my step at the lighter evenings,

Be comforted by the warmth on the back of my neck.

But I couldn’t give a shit.

It means nothing.

None of it melts the ice in my heart.

(Originally Posted 21.03.2019)

4

The Long Goodbye

I’ve never loved myself

So I didn’t expect you to either

Thank you so much for trying,

However,

But I knew we’d achieve neither

8

‘Blue Sign’

I was doing really well today you know.

I got out of bed at a reasonable time.
I sang to myself in the shower.
I put on different clothes.
I remembered to fed the cat.

I cleaned the bathroom.
I threw out the stale food from the fridge.
I washed the bed sheets.
I took the rubbish out.

I went for a swim.
I started listening to a new podcast.
I went shopping in the afternoon.
I even flirted with the man who served me.

And then I drove past the blue sign.
And the sky fell in.
And I remembered everything.
And my heart shattered all over again.


(Originally Posted 11.03.2019)
12

Invisible Injuries

Death leaves
scars on the
hearts of
the living.

Unstitchable
wounds
destined to
irritate those
forced to
bear them,
forever.

(Originally Posted 13.5.2019)

16

Hard/Harder

Falling asleep is hard 
Waking up is harder

Getting showered is hard
Putting on clothes is harder

Making breakfast is hard
Eating it is harder

Leaving the house is hard
Going home is harder

Crossing the road is hard
Looking both ways is harder

Listening to people is hard
Talking to people is harder

Smiling in general is hard
Laughing at jokes is harder

Living with you was hard
Living without you is harder

(Originally Posted 13.3.2019)
22

Recurring

The tears I cried

When you died

Will never fully dry

For with each day

Dawns a new array

Of pain I can’t deny

Xxx

4

The Pact

How very dare

You go up there

Without taking me

Don’t you care

Can’t you see

That’s where I’m

Supposed to be

16

Innards

Like a
bird

Trapped
in it’s
cage

I sing
of love
and
lament

Bleeding
introspective
rage

And
bitter
discontent

12

Afflicted

Wandered
around
again
today

With
an all
consuming
sigh

Not
knowing
how to
live

Yet
too
afraid
to die

30

Just A Child

It’s a
shame
you’ve
used him
as a
weapon

As a way
for your
feelings
of guilt
to lessen

But
it’s me,
you’ll
find,
that
he will
seek

When
he finally
understands
your
cruel
streak

7

Brutal Honesty

I wish
I could
take your
pain away

Tell
you that
everything
will be okay

But
I know
the truth

They
don’t
get
better

And
then
what
you had
is lost

Forever

2

Utterly Helpless

I really wish
that I could do more

Like pick you up
from the bathroom floor

Hug you when
your heart is breaking

And give you comfort
when your bones are aching

But for as much as
your pain to me is known

This is a journey
you must walk alone

8

The Old Days

Waking along
this empty street

Splashing puddles
with my feet

I remember when
we used to meet

And my broken heart
skips a beat

7

Thank You

I never
would
have
pulled
through

If I
didn’t
have
you to
turn to

For
all my
bullshit
you cut
through

And
showed
me a love
that’s
true

4

What I Feel Inside

This shadow

Is too hard
to explain

But it’s
reared it’s
ugly head again

Wailing and
moaning
and gnashing
it’s teeth

The only
way out
is to
hide
beneath

Hoping
and
praying
one day
it’ll
let me go

And I’ll
be freed
from
the pain
of this
enduring
sorrow

14

Mourning

Darkness
casts a
shadow
over my
head

As it
does
over
my
heart

Thoughts
and
dreams
of you
abound

As does
sorrow
that we
had to
part

11

Grey Days

I love
walking
on grey days.

The raindrops
land on my face
and mingle with
my tears,

Hiding them
from prying
eyes.

0

Lifeline

The rubber ring
floats
towards me.

Thank you
for throwing
it down.

But I have
no desire
to grab it.

The rocks
in my pocket
are all
I need.

0

Solitude

You get used to it, you know.
Being on your own.
Plus, no one sees you cry.
Which helps.

0

Questions

When does this pain end?
Have I not suffered enough?
Will things ever change?
Does time heal everything?
Am I done?
Do I care?
Shall I?
Go where?
Alone?
Forever?

 

0

Still Hear

I still hear your key rattle in the door,
I still hear your footsteps across the floor.
I still hear your rubbish music playing,
I still hear your awesome temper fraying.
I still hear you impart your innate wisdom,
I still hear you berate with fierce criticism.
I still hear you sing your daft wee songs,
I still hear the bubble of your endless bongs.
I still hear you chew too loudly when you eat,
I still hear the thump of your heart beat.
I still hear your laugh and your wry chuckle,
I still hear your beloved belt unbuckle.
I still hear your enticing voice roar,
I still hear your thunderous snore.
I still hear your exasperated sigh,
I still hear your exhausted cry.

I Wish You Were,
 Still Here.

0

Peregrines

I once said you were the most powerful man I knew

But you had to go and prove me wrong, didn't you?

xxx
0

Country Roads

I should stop driving late at night.

Especially on country roads.

It’s becoming far too tempting not to press the foot brake.

And I’m not afraid of the darkness…

 

 

0

The Only One

You said I was the only one who made you laugh.
You said I was the only one who made you cry. 
You said I was the only one that made you feel safe.
You said I was the only one you could trust.
You said I was the only one who made you feel special.
You said I was the only one that mattered.
You said I was the only one who taught you patience.
You said I was the only one who taught you to be happy.
You said I was the only one who taught you to love.

Then you left.

And I was the only one who cried.

 

0

Three Hundred and Sixty Five Days

It is unbelievable to think that trip 
was three hundred and sixty five days ago.

Just one anonymous face in a sea of many.
My twenty three year old dream realised.

Outstanding.

There was no way to know then where I would be now.
Here, three hundred and sixty five days on, alone.

I would trade every second of that trip,
to have just one more minute,
with you.

xxx

 

0

First Day Back

Dishwashers rattle
Kettles bubble
Doors bang
Toilets drip
Heaters blast
Floorboards creak
Keys jangle
Voices whisper
Switches flick
Mouths yawn
Arms stretch
Feet shuffle
Computers hum
Mouse wheels tick
Photocopiers whirr
Printers churn
Keyboards click
Phones trill
Mobiles buzz
Pens scratch
Papers rustle

My Heart Breaks
0

2am

I am broken
I am hurt
Words unspoken
Emotion curt

I am sad
I am wrong
Mind mad
Tears throng

I am tired
I am lonely
Memories mired
Despair only

I am weak
I am frail
Burning cheek
Limbs fail

I am down
I am done
Brows frown
Love gone
0

The First

It's deeply distressing when you realise those close to you 
don't know you at all.

I mean I understand.
I put up walls.
Thick granite walls.
Very few people have the strength to break them down.

I'll never trust anyone ever again.
I'll never trust myself ever again.

Delete.
 
0

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