I did
What I did
All those years
Because
I thought
I loved you
But now
I can see
How you
Treated me
And what a shell
That turned me
Into
You Never Listen Anyway
I’m starting to think
It’s time
For someone else
To help you instead
You’re far too reliant
And much too incompliant
For me
To sort out your head
Ghosts Of The Past
I think it’s unfair
To suggest
I use my childhood
As a shield
When, in fact,
It’s the way they act
That makes me
Unwilling
To yield
Finding My Own Way
You can tell me ’til
You’re blue in the face
But there’s no way
That I’ll hear it
It may sound cliché
But for me to stay
You’ll just have
To let me feel it
Afternoon Delights
“Oh, how I’ve missed this”
She said
Running her hands
Through his hair
That he wasn’t the first
Of the day for her
Was neither here
Nor there
Anonymously Happy
Do you think
It helps
He said
Writing these wry
Little observations
Well, I would
Rather that
She said
Than suffer
Endless conversations
And That’s Saying Something
You should get out
For a walk
He said
It’s great
For your mental health
I trust
Your poxy advice
She said
Even less
Than I trust myself
Snakes & Ladders
I don’t think
You appreciate
How hard it is
To stay on track
When the only steps
Available
Are two forward
And three back
The Boxing Day Swim
It’s funny how things turn out
She said
As she tugged on her costume straps
When I was here
Last year
She said
My mind had all but collapsed
I knew after I’d entered the water
She said
That there would be no doubt
As I had decided
Feeling like I did
Death was the only way out
But these last few months I have learned
She said
Through medication and therapy
Having survived that blip
A communal dip
Is now more than enough for me
A Well Trodden Path
Tell me about yourself
He said
I’m here to listen
Not talk
There’s nothing left to say
She said
As every ware I’ve had
I’ve hawked
Eyes Off The Ball
There’s only so much you can take
He said
Before you’ll break down for good
If you don’t think I’m screwed already
She said
Then you’ve clearly misunderstood
Therapeutic Relationships
Life is better
He said
Than it was
Your progress
You can’t deny
That doesn’t mean
She said
I don’t still dream
Of stabbing you
In the eye
Off The Rack
It took me a while
To realise it
However, it seems,
I’m built for this shit
Cognito
Now that all
The talking’s done
And those strategies
Have been deployed
It is time to face
The reality
I’ve tried so hard
To avoid
Lighter (Bonus Post)
Well thank fuck for that
She said
As she walked away
With her empty head
Fair And Square
One
thousand
poems
And I am
finally
done
This
battle is
now over
And my
war has
been won
(Originally Posted 29.02.2020)
The Grief Counsellor
I know you don’t want to hear it
But you can’t run before you can walk
There is no way to beat it
So it’s best to just sit down and talk
Cheats Never Prosper
If there is one thing
I have learned
It’s that you cannot skip
The stages
Even if that means
Moving forward
Feels like it’s taking
Fucking ages
If you jump
Too far forward
You’ll only fall
Further back
And all you’re doing
Is storing your pain
For further
Down the track
(Originally Posted 23.01.2021)
Sown Shut
You’re in a safe space here
She said
I’ve helped people like you before
The only reason that worked
She said
Is because they wanted to talk
The Rebuttal
You
know
nothing
about me
You
sanctimonious
cunt
Now fuck
off and
leave me
alone
(Originally Posted 15.11.2019)
Self Improvement Isn’t Always Progress
I’ve really tried hard
These last few years
To become more authentic
But I fear in trying
To come out of hiding
I just look even more eccentric
‘Getting Away With It’
I’m
pretty
good
at it
now
Hiding
all
my
flaws
Thank
God
you
don’t
see
The
real
me
The
one
that’s
such a
fraud
(Originally Posted 09.11.2020)
An Expensive Distraction
It’s been nearly three weeks now
That I’ve been off the booze
Choosing to cope instead
With the pain in my head
By getting some new tattoos
Therapy?
No
matter
what
the
guidelines
say
Or
how
many
braincells
may be
lost
I’ll
slay
my
dragons
my way,
thanks
And
live
with
whatever
the
cost
(Originally Posted 05.10.2020)
Don’t Believe Everything You Read
I know it seems
Like I’m really evil
Always ranting and raving
And wishing ill on people
But, honestly, my poetry
Is just an outlet
I think you’d quite like me, actually,
If we ever met
Best Wishes
Enjoy
your
cake
You fat
fucking
snake
I hope
you
choke
and
die
Don’t
mind
me
As I
drink
my
tea
And
watch
the
world
go by
(Originally Posted 29.09.2020)
Short Sleeves
Once, I thought
I had no choice
But my innermost feeling to hide
But now I know
That given room to grow
I can wear my scars with pride
Another Notch
A
little
nick
here
A
little
cut
there
It
doesn’t
hurt
anymore
Not
that
I’d
care…
(Originally Posted 19.09.2019)
‘A Deal With God’
Modern medicine hasn’t helped
She said
No pill or therapy
Then you’ve done the right thing
It said
By coming to talk to me
Witchcraft
I thought
talking
would make
it easier
But if
anything
it’s made
it worse
It seems
there is
nothing
I can do
To rid
myself
of this
curse
(Originally Posted 18.09.2019)
Buy Cheap Buy Twice
If only I had a pound
For each session that started like this
I wouldn’t need a whip-round
For a better therapist
On The Couch
What’s worrying you today,
He asks.
Everything,
I reply.
(Originally Posted 14.08.2020)
(Not So) Positive Affirmations
You should stop the negative self talk
He said
And just give yourself a break
I’m not sure if that’s possible
She said
With the destruction I’ve left in my wake
Adjourned
Those
words
you
spoke
so softly
Are
etched
upon
my
brain
A
reminder
of
how
I really
did
Fuck
things
up
again
(Originally Posted 05.07.2020)
The Cliché Continues
So I’m hearing you say you feel empty
He said
Could you expand further on this
Haven’t you heard enough
She said
To put an end to this bullshit
Such A Cliché
I don’t
know if
you’re
aware
She
said
But
I’ve
been
feeling
rather
down
Let me
fetch my
notebook
He
said
Reaching
forward
with a
frown
(Originally Posted 26.05.2020)
It’s Not Rocket Science
You should start a diary
He said
And we can talk it through next week
I’ve been keeping one for years
She said
If you’d like to sneak a peek
‘What’s Good For The Goose…’
Just write it down
He said
How hard can it be
But he had never encountered
Someone as fucked up as me
(Originally Posted 25.04.2020)
Relieved
The scars I carry
Across my body
May well be off the chart
But now I focus
On pulling myself together
Instead of tearing myself apart
Relief
As I
open
up my
scars
The
blood
flows
once
more
As I
begin
to see
stars
I fall,
sated,
to the
floor
(Originally Posted 03.04.2020)
Learning The Hard Way
I remember the inspiration
For this one
It was based on
A session I’d had
With a particularly
Shitty therapist
Back when I
Was clinically mad
He said my struggles
Were my own fault
And to get better
I ‘must try harder’
Yet I was the one
Who apologised to him
Like I was forced to
With my father
I’ve realised since
That I’d been conditioned
To seek out
The approval of men
To say sorry
For my shortcomings
To promise never
To do it again
But I
Am getting older now
And I can feel
The strength in myself
So all those men
Who have fucked me over
Can go and rot
In hell
Must Try Harder
You must try harder, he says
Harder to smile
Harder to laugh
Harder to forgive
Harder to forget
Harder to live again
Harder to love again
You must try harder, he says
I can’t, she whispers
I’m sorry
(Originally Posted 24.03.2019)
Someone’s Hero Somewhere
I am still amazed
To this day
That anyone continues reading
Who knew there could be
Such a community
For those with hearts that are bleeding
Nobody’s Hero
Please
take no
notice
of me
For I’m
as fucked
as anyone
can be
So don’t
let what
I write
enthrall
As they
are just
words,
after all
(Originally Posted 16.03.2020)
#17 The Therapist
Come sit in the comfy chair
And I’ll tell you why you’re ill
We’ve got all night
To spend speaking shite
When your insurance is footing the bill
Settle In
Tell me all about your life
He said
And what has happened to you
You’ll need to give me a minute
She said
To think all this shit through
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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