Tag: thoughts

Incompatible

I love to spend

Time with you

Just chatting

Is so much fun

But if I think

Of us both in bed

All I can see

Inside my head

Is how quickly

That spark

Would be gone

2

Clean

All those worries

Doubts and fears

Washed away

Through a river

Of tears

2

On Mute

I don’t think

You were hiding

But you just genuinely

Didn’t know

When I would ask

“How are you feeling”

About

The impending blow

2

Greener Grass

Absence doesn’t make
The heart grow fonder

We just start to yearn
For what’s over yonder

And so we’re presented
With a question to ponder

Exactly which opportunity
Should we squander?

8

The Run-Through

Skin like milk
Lips cherry red
Your outline etched
Inside my head

Making no sound
Thinking only instead
Of when we’ll fall
Into your bed

4

Traumatising

There are things

About that day

That out loud

I’ll never say

It’s bad enough

They’re in my head

I don’t need

To hear them said

Pulling The Plug

You did
it on
purpose,
didn’t
you?

Don’t
worry,
it
didn’t
show.

But
I knew
you
had
decided

It
was
time
for you
to go.

Xxx

(Originally Posted 09.02.2020)

0

Random #172

“No one else is carrying the aftermath trauma you have endured inside their body. They are not paying the concequences. They are not managing the recovery.

Therefore their opinions are secondary to any and all things that help you heal.”

– Nate Postlethwait via @mindful_tom

8

Running Before Walking

I know

That I’m not

Quite ready

Thoughts of him

Still rife

In my head

But if you

Come around

Happy to be

The rebound

Then I won’t kick you

Out of bed

16

The Godless Ones

Some find it easier to deify

Rules bestowed from up high

And trust in his miraculous plan

But I feel it wiser

To be your own advisor

Than rely on the thoughts of a man

16

Progress

I cry a lot more now

Even at the silliest thing

My therapist says it’s better

Than trying to keep it all in

22

Finally

I wonder what you’ll all say,

When I finally go away.

I wonder what you’ll all think,

When off into the shadows I slink.

I wonder if you’ll all stop and stare,

When you finally realise I’m no longer there.

(Originally Posted 25.06.2019)

13

Who Am I?

I think that I forgot myself

Somewhere along the way

So not only have I lost you

I’ve got a whole life to replay

(Originally Posted 28.07. 2019)

29

Aftermath

Confusion reigns
As my head struggles to explain
What I feel inside my heart

Sadness remains
As with all encompassing pain
I hate that we have to part

(Originally Posted 06.07.2019)

4

Harbouring Secrets

You have no idea

As you sit here

With your good humour and wit.

Now let me be clear

Kindly fuck off my dear

‘Cause honestly, you don’t know shit.

(Originally Posted 18.06.2019)

2

Toy Soldiers

Did it ever occur to you

That I didn’t want you to know

What would you have done anyway

Other than used it as ammo

In this ridiculous war against me

That you felt the need to wage

Well I’m glad I never said a word

And from your battle disengaged

2

Sweet Nothings

Do
you
say
those
things

To
someone
else

Now
you
don’t
say
them
to me?

Does
it
make
me
pathetic

My
thoughts
so
frenetic

That
these
things
still
bother
me?

4

Ruminating

Will
there be
someone
else
for me

Or
will
I forever
remain
bereft?

For
all I’ve
felt is
numb
you see

Ever
since
the day
you
left

10

A Genuine Request

I post here twice a day

Not knowing who will read

Is anyone even interested?

Do my words fulfill a need?

Is there humour in my blog?

Or do you just find it sad?

Do I come across as normal?

Or do you think I’m mad?

I’m interested in what you think

I’d really love to know

So without fear of recrimination

Please comment your thoughts below

78

© Me

In
order
to keep
what is
rightfully
mine

There’s
no other
choice
but to
retire
online

26

Catharsis

I
really
only
write

What
everyone
else is
thinking

I just
do what
comes
naturally

And
without
even
flinching

10

Futile

Sometimes
I depress
myself

As these
thoughts
fill the
page

Why
am I
here

Wasting
everyone’s
time

Hoping
someone
will
engage

23

You’re Too Kind

Thirty
six
thousand
words

And
each
one of
them
shite

But now
I’ve
passed
one
thousand
followers

I
must
be doing
something
right

41

Precision

Just be
careful
not to
slip

Not one
ounce of
blood to
drip

For you
don’t want
them to
see

Just how
messed
up you
can be

13

Slap And Tickle

I
have
tried to
move on

My
feelings
for you
to shelve

But
when
push
comes to
shove

I just
can’t
help
myself

7

An Apathetic Author

It’s
hard to
write
it all
down

What
I’ve
been
feeling
inside

But now
is the
time to
start
again

For the
truth
I’ll no
longer
hide

7

Fear

I’m
going
back
to bed

It’s
not
worth
staying
awake

From
these
thoughts
in my
head

I need a
fucking
break

12

Old Faces

I
loved
talking
to you
so much
tonight

It
bought
a tear
to my
eye

It seems
there’s
no one
else I
want to
sit with

And
watch
the
world
go by

12

On Future Dates

I
know
that
I
agreed
to
this

But
now
I
am
quite
scared

What
if
I’m
late
to
meet
you

Or
my
ability
to
talk
is
impaired?

What
about
if
you
realise

When
you
look
at
me up
close

That
I
really
am
quite
old
and
tired

And
the
thought
of
kissing
me
is gross?

16

The Train Home

Why
can’t
it be
like that
all the
time

Talking,
laughing
and
drinking
wine

It
always
feels
like
such a
crime

When I
have to
return
to this
life of
mine

6

Legless

Play that song
one more time

She
said

And pour me
another drink

I want to
feel something

She
said

And I don’t want
to have to think

4

Disruption

For a moment
there I was
feeling good

Living my
life the way
I should

And then you
wander back
into my mind

And all sense
of peace is
left behind

12

Imprisoned

We
each
have a
choice

But it
seems
my hands
are tied

My
opinion
I cannot
voice

As my
rights
have been
denied

0

Drinking

I fear I’ve
had one too
many a drink
tonight…

Perhaps now
is not the
time my story
to write…

3

Emotional Flux

The guilt
I feel
when
I smile

Consumes
my day
and night

Perhaps I
should
just wait
a while

Before
thinking
it’s alright

7

Mourning

Darkness
casts a
shadow
over my
head

As it
does
over
my
heart

Thoughts
and
dreams
of you
abound

As does
sorrow
that we
had to
part

11

Missing Kisses

I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I kiss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I kiss you
I miss you
I kiss you
I miss you
I kiss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
so much

4

Confusion

No!
No!
No!

Yes!
Yes!
Yes!

How am
I supposed
to decide
what to do

When my
head is
in such
a mess?

16

Scissors

It’s time
to put you
back in
your box

To fasten
the lid
and change
the locks

I cannot
continue
down this
path

For if I
do there
is no way
back

8

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