Tag: time

Normal Service Is Resumed

I just needed

A bit of a break

For both my heart

And my minds sake

But now I’m back

Make no mistake

As there are both knives to sharpen

And old coals to rake

28

Unhealthy Pursuits

Perhaps I should climb

A mountain

Or sail off

On a round the cruise

Anything to relieve

This having to grieve

After all,

What have I got to lose?

‘I Could Be Wrong / I Could Be Right…’

The
pressure
is on
to find
meaning

In
this so
called
life of
mine

But
I just
can’t
help but
feeling

That
it’s a
total
waste
of time

(Originally Posted 27.02.2020)

2

Your Alloted Time Slot

You must start moving on

My friend

As it won’t be long

Until the end

And when you look back

You’ll rue the day

That you gave all

Of your time away

Overheard

All
you
do is
bitch
and
moan

And
I listen,
with
a sigh

For you
can’t
seem
to see
what
I do

That’s
your
life,
passing
you by

(Originally Posted 20.02.2020)

2

Writing The Book On Grief

Now it’s just over

Four years for me

And although

I’ve learned a lot

I still couldn’t claim

I know enough to explain

Or even to give it

A decent shot

Bereavement

Just
when
I think
I’ve got
no tears
left

They
fall
down
my
face
again

Why
the fuck
didn’t
someone
tell
me

How
to
prepare
for all
this
pain

(Originally Posted 19.02.2020)

0

Believing

How I remember

Feeling this way

That nothing again

Would be OK

But now I’ve got

Some feeling back

I see a glimmer of hope

Through the crack

Grieving

Are you
sure it’s
gone

He
said

What
about
love

Compassion?

Make
no
mistake

She
said

I’ve
lost
it all

Her
face,
as it was,
ashen

(Originally Posted 18.02.2020)

0

Daybreak

I felt that way

For a really long time

After you rounded on me

That night

But now I’ve moved on

And boy I’ve grown

So I’m stepping back

Into the light

Nyctophilia

I’m
better
alone
than in
company

Just
like I’m
happier
in the
dark

That
way
I never
have to
see anyone

Or
hear
another
disparaging
remark

(Originally Posted 16.02.2020)

2

Joyeux Anniversaire

It’s taken me by surprise

This year

As I thought I’d be OK

Yet I feel utterly desolate

Lying here

Washing my tears away

Xxx

What Should Have Been

Twenty two years

Just me and you

Sitting on the sofa

With wine and food

But it’s not to be

As you’re three years gone

So any romance today

Just feels wrong

Xxx

(Originally Posted 14.02.2022)

2

Every Rose Has It’s Thorns

There is a tendency

When your partner dies

If thinking back

To romanticise

Every little thing

They ever did or said

To remember nothing wrong

In the years you were wed

But as time rolls by you realise

This wasn’t always the case

And putting them on that pedestal

Is just your grief misplaced

It doesn’t mean you didn’t love them

Or that their death isn’t terrible

But to acknowledge their flaws

Is important because

It makes your life slightly

More bearable

Xxx

Wasted Time

If I regret anything now

It’s all the arguments we had

The silent treatment I gave you

The things I did to make you mad

Now you’re no longer here

I can’t put those wrong things right

And I have no choice but to live with that

For the rest of my fucking life

Xxx

(Originally Posted 14.02.2020)

8

Office Politics

With the cost of living rising

And my prospects going down

It may well be time

For me to leave

This tired old humdrum town

Overdrawn

Another
day

Another
dollar

Fuck
knows why

We even
bother

(Originally Posted 10.02.2020)

7

This Thing Called Life

Truth is

I’m getting older

I just wish

It was wiser too

Perhaps with that

Would come the ability

To find

A little stability

And I’d maybe make it

All the way through

The Spiral

It feels like
every day I fall

A little further
down the hole

Losing just
a wee bit more

Of my body,
mind and soul

(Originally Posted 05.02.2020)

7

A Clean Getaway

Thankfully

I made the decision

To live without

Your endless derision

Before any more of my time

Was wasted

Poisonous Bitch

We
only
get
one
life

She
said

And
it’s
far
too
short

To
spend
with
you

(Originally Posted 03.02.2020)

7

Rarer

I can get through

Most days now

Without crying

Over you

But sometimes it hits

Like a ton of bricks

And there is nothing

I can do

Recurring

The tears I cried

When you died

Will never fully dry

For with each day

Dawns a new array

Of pain I can’t deny

Xxx

(Originally Posted 22.01.2021)

4

2023

As I have beaten

My adversary

This will all end

In February

How Long?

How long
can you
go on
writing

When
your only
inspiration
is spite?

And now
you’ve had
to start
forgiving

So that
you can
sleep
at night

(Originally Posted 07.01.2020)

9

Viewpoint

All these years

I’ve been writing

Calling you each

And every name

But perhaps I’ve been mean

Because it’s actually been

My attempt

To shift the blame

Who Gives A Shit

Have
I done

The
wrong
thing
again?

I
suppose
only
time

Will
tell

Until
then
I’ll try

To keep
myself
sane

While
I prepare

To
burn
in hell

(Originally Posted 04.01.2020)

0

Minutiae

You think that when

Someone dies

It’s the big things

That you’ll miss

But what causes pain

To grieving brain

Is missing the small things

That they did

Even A Broken Clock Is Right Twice A Day

I can’t
even
change

The time
on the
oven

It’s just
one more
thing

I have
discovered

Since
you’ve
gone

(Originally Posted 04.01.2020)

2

Living On The Edge

All those years

Spent with you

Silently

Being driven mad

But there’s no denying

(So it’s pointless trying)

That they were the best

I’ve ever had

Taking Things For Granted

I always
thought
being
with you
was hell

Seems
the boredom
of being
without you
is worse

Xxx

(Originally Posted 03.01.2022)

2

Stalled

We’ve reached that time

In our run

Where things are beginning

To come undone

Words once so profound

Are now old and cruddy

Our parts played mostly

By the understudy

It’s such a shame

To see it end this way

And that soon our house

Will stage a different play

Theatrics

Of the love

I feel for you

I have never been

More certain

So much so

It is now time

To drop

The safety curtain

So then we can

With a fiery gusto

Both just get on

With performing our show

(Originally Posted 01.01.2021)

0

Hogmanay (Part 5)

Let’s do something

She said

Different this year

I’ve had enough

Of drinking beer

I don’t mind

He said

Whatever we do

As long as it involves

Me and you

Hogmanay (Part 3)

Time

Creeping

Mine

Sweeping

Dicks

Sleeping

Women

Weeping

Hogmanay 2020 (Part 2)

Staring into a new year

Together

Holding hands

I can’t believe

Out of everyone

It’s you who understands

Hogmanay 2020 (Part 1)

I’ll give you one day

Where the sun will shine

And that day is Friday

This week

But after that

It’ll all fall flat

And it’s back

To the future that’s bleak

(Originally Posted 31.12.2020)

2

Missing The Boat

It’ll most likely be

Like the last four

Wondering what the fuck

I stuck around for

20/20

However
will I
make it
through

Another
year
without
you?

(Originally Posted 31.12.2019)

2

Getting Off Lightly

Grief affects everyone

In many different ways

Yet some among us

Prove lucky enough

To escape the daily malaise

Poles Apart

I still cry myself to sleep

Not that you’d know

You selfish creep

You think because

We all lost him

That we both feel the same

But you haven’t got

A fucking clue

Of how I live each day in pain

(Originally Posted 30.12.2020)

2

Relentless

I’d love to say

That things have changed

And I no longer feel

So hopeless

But the intervening time

Since writing this rhyme

Has been equally

As atrocious

Nothing

Nothing makes
me happy

Nothing makes
me smile

There’s nothing left
to look forward to

At least nothing that
feels worthwhile

(Originally Posted 28.12.2019)

6

‘Blue Christmas’

It’s the time of year

Again

For that age old

Platitude

The one I’m expected

To receive

With a kindly

Gratitude

“It must be hard for you”

They say

“Especially at this time of year”

I want

To say

It’s hard

Every day

But that’s not

What they want to hear

Who The Fuck Are ‘They’ Anyway?

Time heals

Or so they say

Well, let me tell you

They fucking lie

Time does nothing

But march on

And you’re left

With no right to reply

(Originally Posted 22.12.2021)

0

A Distinct Lack Of Merriment

All those years

All those lists

When all I wanted

Was to eat and get pissed

Thoughtless

Not only is it the time of year for giving

But the time for receiving too

You’ve no idea how glad I am

There’s no more bullshit gifts from you

(Originally Posted 19.12.2020)

6

An Unlikely Source

Not only was he handsome,

Smart and debonair

It also transpired

After he had inquired

That he was a millionaire

Currency

I’ll
give
you a
penny
for
them

He
said

Tell
me
your
ups
and
downs

You
can
put
your
coppers
away

She
said

As
to hear
those
you’ll
need
pounds

(Originally Posted 18.12.2020)

2

Fine Dining

Never again

Will I be forced

To visit someone else’s home

Even if that means

Living off chips and beans

And forever eating alone

Dinnertime

I’ll never
go back
there
again

They
can all
just get
to fuck

I’ve no
desire
to talk
to them

As with
my heart
they’ve
ran amuck

(Originally Posted 12.12.2019)

6

Perfunctory

Sometimes I wonder

If I made it out alive

Or if I’m actually still dead

I mean I know

I put on a good show

But I’d rather just feel it instead

But Still Alive

Mired in madness

Subsumed in sadness

Buried here forever

Lost in blackness

(Originally Posted 12.12.2019)

0

‘Reality Bites’

In a way it’s easier

To still see you every day

For as we get both older

My heart grows colder

And doesn’t hurt in the same way

Taken

I can bear most things in life

But it kills me every time

To know no matter what I do

You will never again be mine

(Originally Posted 11.12.2020)

0

Imperfectly Perfect

All those memories

Good and bad

Making me smile

Driving me mad

Yet lying here

It makes me sad

As we never knew

Quite what we had

The Old Days

Waking along
this empty street

Splashing puddles
with my feet

I remember when
we used to meet

And my broken heart
skips a beat

(Originally Posted 05.12.2019)

2

(High)lands Reprise

As I stand here

Taking snaps

Comparing them

To years past

I am struck

By the magnitude

Of how much I now

Love my solitude

(High)lands

Let us
roam
amongst
the
heather

Laugh
out loud 
betwixt
the
blether

Kiss
amidst
this
stormy
weather

Until
we
come
undone
together

(Originally Posted 03.12.2020)

2

Screwed

If we’d had a plan

When all this began

Perhaps we could both advance

But as things are

We’ve gone too far

And now none of us

Stand a chance

Obvious

At a
different
time

In a
different
place

The
answer
would
stare
us

Right
in the
face

(Originally Posted 30.11.2019)

2

To The Day

Many more moons

Have passed since then

And plenty of suns

Now too

In fact it’s been

1,458 days

That I’ve been here

Without you

Xxx

Many A Moon

As that
day draws
ever closer

The pain
cannot be
avoided

To think
it was just
a year ago

When my
whole world
imploded

(Originally Posted 28.11.2019)

2

We’re Here For It

You always were the joker

Who we could count on for a laugh

So it’s been hard to watch you

Being literally torn in half

But you don’t have to pretend with us

Or put on your best gameface

As we know, one day, that humour

Will return to its rightful place

GameFace

All I do is let
people down

They want
me to smile

But I can
only frown

For I no longer
have the energy

To be the person
they want me to be

(Originally Posted 27.11.2019)

7

After The Affair

You can say sorry

All you want

And truly mean

What you say

But when you’ve been burnt

All that pain and hurt

Doesn’t ever

Just go away

The Bargain

Who knows
when our
time will
come

But I fear
it’s not
just yet

For you
have to
forgive
yourself

And I
have to
forget

(Originally Posted 27.11.2019)

6

You’ll Never Change

It’s been a long time

Since I’ve seen you

But don’t think I have forgotten

How truly rank

And repulsive you are

That even your insides are rotten

Grandiose

I’ll always
be the
better
person

But
there’s
no need
to sweat it

I will
always
be hanging
around

To make
sure you
don’t
forget it

(Originally Posted 26.11.2019)

2

No Hard Feelings

It wasn’t our time

Nor was it the place

But I’ll never forget

Your sweet embrace

The Reference

When it is

I see

Her next

I’ll be sure

To let

Her know

How you’re

Passionate,

Funny

And kind

And how

It hurts

To let

You go

(Originally Posted 11.11.2021)

2

Puppy Love

Well I know exactly

What I think of you

All blotchy and balding

At forty two

Now I’m glad we split

At our old school gates

Back when I was seven

And you were eight

High School Reunions

I
wonder
what

You’d
think
of me
now

Fat,
forty
and
fucked

Would
you
still
love me
forever

Want
to be
together
whatever

Or be
thankful
for the
life
you
ducked

(Originally Posted 10.11.2020)

13

Self Improvement Isn’t Always Progress

I’ve really tried hard

These last few years

To become more authentic

But I fear in trying

To come out of hiding

I just look even more eccentric

‘Getting Away With It’

I’m
pretty
good
at it
now

Hiding
all
my
flaws

Thank
God
you
don’t
see

The
real
me

The
one
that’s
such a
fraud

(Originally Posted 09.11.2020)

8

I Wouldn’t Have Bothered

After all those years

Of loving you

And trying my best

To understand

If only I knew

It would be you

Who’d be the one

To drop my hand

Me & You

Watch
me
and
you’ll
sense
it

Touch
me
and
you’ll
know

Tell
me
and
you’ll
feel
it

Hold
me
and
don’t
let go

(Originally Posted 07.11.2019)

0

Terminated

Here I am stuck

In this carriage again

Honestly,

I could scream

I’m forever trying

To reach the end

Yet I always run out

Of steam

‘Forever Delayed’

Brought
to a
standstill

By leaves
on the
line ahead

Yet
another
signal
point
failure

Oh how
I wish
I’d stayed
in bed

(Originally Posted 05.11.2019)

2

Too Late Now

I don’t know how it’s happened

And I can’t even tell you why

But, it seems, I’ve grown old

In love with the wrong fucking guy

Set In Stone

Neither of
us knows

If the life
we chose

Will work out
for the best

(Originally Posted 05.11.2019)

0

An Official Declaration

I guess I don’t feel

Like this anymore

But in that I can take no pride

As the only reason

I feel any different

Is because I’m now dead inside

What’s The Point?

It
feels
like
I will
never
laugh
again

As my
life
is so
full of
sorrow
and pain

Like
I will
no
longer
be able
to smile

And
that
nothing
I do will
ever be
worthwhile

(Originally Posted 01.11.2019)

8

How Much Longer?

Three years on

And here I am

Having been kept waiting

With my life on hold

My heart stone cold

And my tears still accumulating

Tell Me

Do
these
tears
ever
stop?

(Originally Posted 28.10.2019)

8

Not Yet, Anyway

It will soon be three years

Without him here

And I know time is supposed to fly

But it feels like just yesterday

That he was my mainstay

So I’m not ready for some other guy

The Anniversary

It will
soon be
a year,
without
you here,
and I
don’t
know
what
to do.

For I’m
still
nowhere
near,
facing
my fear,
or the
reality
of losing
you.

Xxx

(Originally Posted 17.10.2019)

4

One Decision, One Thousand Lifetimes

I’m not sure if this notion

Of there only ever being one person

For us to love is true

But what I can say for sure

Is even if there were a hundred more

I would only ever want you

Galaxies

If
I was
to
decide

To
leave
this
place

I’d
still
find
you
again

In
any
time or
space

(Originally Posted 10.11.2020)

4

6hr 45mins

And so

It comes time

To travel home again

At least

I’ll sleep

On this fucking train

Digging For Worms

Please
make
sure
you
bury
me
deep

So
I can
finally
get
some
fucking
sleep

(Originally Posted 06.10.2020)

13

‘Right Here Right Now’

It’s funny how

To bookish types

I certainly was once attracted

Whereas now I’m older

I’ve no time for the smoulder

And need something far less protracted

Timerous Beasties

When
I picture
my
youth

I see
you
and
me

Sitting
beneath
that old
oak tree

You
reading
a book

My
head
on your
shoulder

Both
of us
hoping

The
other
is
bolder

(Originally Posted 01.10.2020)

0

Even On Good Days

It’s never too far away

That shadow

I see it from the corner

Of my eye

An ever present reminder

Of what we lost

And when we had

To say goodbye

Mourning

Darkness
casts a
shadow
over my
head

As it
does
over
my
heart

Thoughts
and
dreams
of you
abound

As does
sorrow
that
we’d to
part

(Originally Posted 27.09.2019)

2

Redo

There is no going back

There are no more simpler times

Now I just have to accept

That you’ll never again be mine

Undo

Can we go back

To a simpler time

When I was yours

And you were mine?

(Originally Posted 27.09.2020)

0

You’re No Saviour

I realise now

Your intentions back then

Were not quite

So well-meaning

All I can hope

Is that some other dope

Doesn’t fall victim

To your scheming

Already Grown Up

Come
with me,
he said,
take my
hand.
I’ll fly us
away to
Neverland.

I’m sorry,
she said,
but there’s
no way
I can.
Please
say that you
understand.

(Originally Posted 26.09.2019)

2

Telling The Truth

Three years on

And although further forward

By the pain of his death

I am still tortured

At A Bedside, Desolate

There
is no
more
hope.

There
are no
more
dreams.

My life
continues
to fall apart
at the seams,

As I
lie here
thinking
of you.

And
wondering
what the fuck
I’m supposed
to do,

Now.

(Originally Posted 24.09.2019)

0

I’ve Seen You Looking

It’s only hypothetical

Because too much time has passed

Though I’m pretty sure

If I wanted more

You’d say yes, if asked

Hypothetically Speaking

Do you
ever think
of me

In those
moments
you have spare

Do you
ever
dream

Of running
your fingers
through my hair

Do you ever
imagine how
it would feel

If you
held your
hand in mine

Do you ever
long to look
into my eyes

And feel
our souls
entwine

(Originally Posted 21.09.2019)

0

Because You’re Worth It

You’ll be here all day

She said

There really isn’t much to find

Well I will never stop looking

He said

Until the end of time

Digging For Gold

Kindness
lives
within
you

He
said

Of
that
I am
the
judge

Then
by all
means
try to
find it

She
said

Beneath
the
fucking
sludge

(Originally Posted 18.09.2020)

6

You’ll Keep

I used to care

About the truth

That the world should know

About my abuse

But I’m a better person now

Than those liars and frauds

So I’ll happily stay quiet

About my in laws

The Silver Medal

This
was
hardly
a fair
fight

And
we
both
know
who
rightfully
won

Yet
I’ll
step
graciously
aside
for
you

As
one
day
the
truth
will
come

(Originally Posted 17.09.2020)

2

Being Toyed With

As I have never

Loved again

From that day

To this

I cannot help

But wonder

If someone up there

Is taking the piss

I Can’t Tell You

I can’t
tell
you
how
much
better
I feel

To
know my
feelings
I need
no
longer
conceal

I
can’t
tell you
how much
more open
I am
now

To the
possibility
of loving
someone
again,
someday,
somehow

(Originally Posted 11.09.2019)

2

Letting It Out

Sometimes it is sadness

Sometimes it’s deep frustration

But mostly it’s just

That I still feel lost

In this whole fucking situation

Hold Me

Words
can
not
describe
the
hurt

As my
tears
fall
onto
your
shirt

Xxx

(Originally Posted 07.09.2020)

2

Death Hurts

This was so true

For much of that first year

In fact it’s only now

I have realised

How much his illness

And his death

Had left me

Paralysed

The Robbery

Your illness
robbed you
of your life

And it
robbed me
of my mind

Your death
still cuts me
like a knife

So now
to madness
I am inclined

(Originally Posted 01.09.2019)

6

What A Waste

All those petty squabbles you had

The cold shoulders and silent treatment

They all come home to roost,

You know,

When you’re dealing with bereavement

Bedtime Bickering

And
you
accuse
me of
being
flirtatious?

When
your
behaviour
tonight
has been
outrageous!

(Originally Posted 30.08.2020)

0

On Grief

People say things

Get better with time

Which may be their truth

But it isn’t mine

Not Long Now

Each day brings

Yet more false hope

Along with an another

Earth shattering new low

I really am just

Biding my time now

Waiting until

It’s my turn to go

(Originally Posted 27.08.2019)

23

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