"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
If only we
Were like machines
Coded in black and white
We would be
Safe in our routines
And sleep far better at night
Outbid
Don’t
give
up,
The
email
reads,
You can
still get
what you
want.
Only an
automated
response,
I
believe,
Could
be so
nonchalant
(Originally Posted 02.11.2019)
Concerning affairs
Of the heart
I was once a master
But when he died
I lost my mind
And now I’m a complete disaster
Ready To Implode
It
isn’t
you
That
I don’t
trust
Honestly,
it’s
me
My
mind
is
No
longer
robust
enough
To
deal
with
Such
trickery
(Originally Posted 02.11.2019)
It was right, I think, to call it a day
As were hardly
Love’s young dream
I mean you put in the graft
And it did make me laugh
But you’d never have made me scream
Dirty Minds
As you don’t seem
To get it
I’ll explain it again
Real quick
It wasn’t your love
I wanted
It was merely your…
Conversation
(Originally Posted 01.11.2021)
I guess I don’t feel
Like this anymore
But in that I can take no pride
As the only reason
I feel any different
Is because I’m now dead inside
What’s The Point?
It
feels
like
I will
never
laugh
again
As my
life
is so
full of
sorrow
and pain
Like
I will
no
longer
be able
to smile
And
that
nothing
I do will
ever be
worthwhile
(Originally Posted 01.11.2019)
When I read back
On posts like this
I can’t help but curl my toes
It’s like I think
You’re all in the pink
And it’s just me that feels morose
In My Shoes
Bitter
and
twisted
Yes,
that’s
me
But
live
my
life
For a
minute
or two
And so
would
you
fucking
be
(Originally Posted 01.11.2020)
As I lie here lamenting
My own demise
Please enjoy
This Halloween reprise
🎃
Body Snatchers
Far more terrifying
Than any soul left behind
Are the ghouls
Who camp out permanently
In the corners of my mind
(Originally Posted 31.10.2021)
As I lie here lamenting
My own demise
Please enjoy
This Halloween reprise
🎃
The Scottish Lair
Six
feet
under
All dark
and
gloomy
When
a small
voice
whispers
‘Welcome roomie…’
(Originally Posted 31.10.2020)
As I lie here lamenting
My own demise
Please enjoy
This Halloween reprise
🎃
Portent
There is no reprieve
For those who venture outside
As on All Hallows’ Eve
There’s nowhere to hide
(Originally Posted 31.10.2019)
Four different medications
Plus some of my own to boot
Yet the madness persists
As I eye up my wrists
Making the point of treatment moot
Assistance / Resistance
So
it’s
been
a year
Of
your
latest
treatment
Yet
I still
don’t
feel
Any
fucking
different
(Originally Posted 30.10.2020)
If you’re talking about my arms
She said
Then the urge I could try to park
But if you mean my wit
She said
That’ll always be razor sharp
Spitting Distance
We
could
have
had
it
all
She
said
But
now
we’re
left
with
nothing
Maybe
we’d
have
been
okay
He
said
Had you
not been
so fucking
cutting
(Originally Posted 30.10.2020)
It would not be
That unusual for me
To view my own mental health
As simply cliché
And to explain it away
As just feeling sorry for myself
The Gloom
Does it
follow me
Or do I
chase it
Either way
around
It’s still
pretty shit
(Originally Posted 30.10.2019)
It’s alright for you
As all you need to do
Is remember him
On special occasions
Well I feel that way
Every fucking day
So you’ll never know
My frustrations
Clueless
You
think
you
know
But
you
have
no clue
What
I’ve
had to
let go
Or
what I
still go
through
(Originally Posted 30.10.2019)
Check in with your family and friends
Make sure they know you are their ally
As you can’t always tell
Who on the outside looks well
But on the inside wants to die
The Passing Samaritan
I
really
can’t
explain
it
This
feeling
I have
inside
I
just
don’t
want
to be
here
And,
God
knows,
I’ve
tried
(Originally Posted 29.10.2020)
This is an interpolation
Or is it just out and out theft
Either way we know
Without the modifications below
That my lines would be bereft
Something Old / Something New
I wandered lonely as a cloud
Screaming the words fuck you out loud
As, like the night, she walked in beauty
I wished someone would just come along and shoot me
As I, in the wood, took the road less travelled
I sat and cried as my mind unravelled
And as we talked between the rooms
I closed my eyes and succumbed to the fumes
(Originally Posted 29.10.2019)
Three years on
And here I am
Having been kept waiting
With my life on hold
My heart stone cold
And my tears still accumulating
Tell Me
Do
these
tears
ever
stop?
(Originally Posted 28.10.2019)
If anyone asked
About my rhymes
I would most likely show them this
It’s an apt expression
Of my abject depression
And defines my blog’s premise
Innards
Like a
bird
Trapped
in it’s
cage
I sing
of love
and
lament
Bleeding
both
Introspective
rage
And
embittered
discontent
(Originally Posted 28.10.2020)
It isn’t that you lied,
It’s that I believed you.
That’s what hurts.
Support
I really
cannot
stay,
she said,
it is time
for me
to go
back
It’s the
only way,
she said,
to get
my life
on track
I will come
with you,
he said,
you needn’t
be on
your own
I’m here to
help you
through,
he said,
so you’ll
never
be alone
(Originally Posted 28.10.2019)
I reckon I could melt it
He said
Just by using my hands for warmth
I’m pretty sure at this point
She said
You’d need at least a fucking blowtorch
The Ice Queen
One
touch
Is
not
enough
I’ll
need
much
more
For
my
heart
to
thaw
(Originally Posted 27.10.2019)
I sound like such a strumpet
In some of these lines I write
But I can promise you
The actual truth
Is that I am alone most nights
Rolling In The Hay
Looking
up at
you
Looking
down
at me
I know
this is
where
We’re
supposed
to be
(Originally Posted 27.10.2019)
You lost the rights
Of a confidente
When you sold me down the river
Content to stare
Without a care
As I stood there and shivered
So I’ll never again
Confide in you
On that I will deliver
For all my trust
Has turned to dust
As our friendship has now withered
On Silent
Don’t
bother to
phone me
As I’ll
just watch
it ring
I will not
answer
to you
Or
tell you
anything
(Originally Posted 26.10.2019)
Another well meaning question
Asked way too expectantly
Answered without hesitation
Although far too respectfully
Tight Lipped
I am
not
trying
to be
mean
Or to
cause
yet
another
scene
So before
my fuse
is well
and truly
blown
Please
just piss
off and
leave me
alone
(Originally Posted 26.10.2019)
If I revealed
The truth about me
It would shatter the illusion
Now, I know you’d say
You wouldn’t care anyway
But I couldn’t deal with the conclusion
For Our Own Good
You never
see the
worst of
my illness
because
I hide it
from you
For you
to know
the truth
about me
would
completely
tear me
in two
So I’ll
paint
on a
smile and
pretend
that I’m
fine
For
doing so
protects
both
your
sanity
and mine
(Originally Posted 25.10.2019)
It still amazes me
To this day
That you even read my rhymes
Don’t get me wrong, my friend
It pleases me no end
But I do worry about you, at times
Wonderland
It’s nice
to think
I matter
That what
I feel is
shared
But really
I’m as mad
as a hatter
Surely no one
else is this
impaired?
(Originally Posted 25.10.2019)
I must be one of those people
Who really gets off on pain
As since he died
On this song I’ve imbibed
Again and again and again
Masochism
Every time
I hear
this song
It brings
tears to
my eyes
And pain
to my
heart
A reminder of
all I’ve come
to despise
And how
we’ll forever
be apart
I should
just press
stop
Switch
off the
laptop
And
walk
away…
(Originally Posted 24.10.2019)
I’ve picked up a few
Tips and tricks
Over the years
That I’ve been hurting
And although some work
My demons still lurk
So I’m never too far away
From reverting
Harm Reduction
I’ve been
trying
so hard
to break
this chain
So I’ve
drawn on
my arms
with Biro
again
At least,
this time,
it’s just
a token
And my
skin,
for now,
remains
unbroken
(Originally Posted 24.10.2019)
I’ve felt this way
For some time now
And yet I still plod on
Perhaps this is just
My normal now
And it’s hoping for more that’s wrong
Zestless
Finally
dropping
into
bed
Knowing
I couldn’t
have done
any more
There is
no point
in setting
an alarm
As
there’s
nothing
to wake
up for
(Originally Posted 24.10.2020)
When he said I had three wishes
I thought I’d won the lottery
That he would now provide my chance
To finally be free
If only I had known then
Exactly what would come to be
As all those wishes bought about
Was pain and misery
The Lamp
I should
have been
more careful
With what
it was that
I wished
for
Because
I never
wanted it
to end
In this
way
at all
(Originally Posted 23.10.2019)
No one could ever accuse me
Of division or discrimination
For I can pour my vitriol
Without any kind of limitation
Fact
Oh,
I don’t
just hate
you
I
hate
everyone
(Originally Posted 23.10.2019)
If only I’d tried harder
I could have fought you more
If only I’d been smarter
I could have won the war
Fade To Black
Pull down the stars
Put out the sun
I’ve had enough
You have won
(Originally Posted 23.10.2020)
It was never
Going to be you
Not that I
Would’ve wanted to
It was always just
You reminded me
That there would be other
Fish in the sea
Indebted
Thank
you so
much
for
being
you
Otherwise
I’d still
be wandering
around
without
a clue
Waiting
for
the days
not to
feel
so blue
And
hoping
to find
a love
that’s
true
(Originally Posted 22.10.2019)
I am pretty sure
I’ll give up soon
When I find a moment
That is opportune
I’ll say goodbye
Just after nightfall
And put down my pen
Once and for all
Done In
There’s
only so
much I
can write
Before
I go
to sleep
tonight
My
eyes are
heavy and
overtired
My
heart is
weary and
overfired
(Originally Posted 22.10.2019)
You will feel much better
She said
After a drink and something to eat
There’s no point in feeding me up
She said
For I have accepted defeat
Little Miss Pitiful
Too busy to stop,
Too bored to stay.
Too broken to fight,
For yet another day.
(Originally Posted 21.10.2019)
You there
Number two
You look like
You might do
And you standing
At the back
It seems like you
Could be good craic
I’ll also have you
Number seven
With your cheekbones
Straight from heaven
And lastly you
Against the door
I feel you could offer
Me a little more
So all of you please
Step to my boudoir
And we’ll see who gets
To baise moi, ce soir
The Auditions
One step
Two step
Three step
Four
Just
Keep
Walking
Towards
The
Door
Five step
Six step
Seven step
Eight
You
Could
Never
Be
My
Soul
Mate
(Originally Posted 21.10.2020)
With all these plates
To keep on spinning
It’s no wonder that I
Never feel like I’m winning
Mondays
Head racing
a million
miles an hour
Heart
pounding
the same
So many
appointments
to make
So many
lions
to tame
(Originally Posted 21.10.2019)
You’ve already kissed the Blarney Stone
She said
So let’s just call it a night
You’ve necked just as much as me
He said
And spoken as much shite!!
The Other Irish Rover
I’m
sorry
I told
you
I love
you
He
said
I
just
did it
for
the
craic
There’s
no
need to
apologise
She
said
Just
don’t
expect
I’ll
say it
back
(Originally Posted 20.10.2020)
Not a method I would choose
In reality
As I’d care about the driver
Far more than I ever could me
The Railway Line
I
shouldn’t
need to
tell you
again
You
must
already
know
I
don’t
want to
be here
anymore
Please
just
let me
go
(Originally Posted 20.10.2020)
All those little things
That you think matter
Mean literally nothing
When your heart is shattered
Flowers
You never
once
bought
me flowers
Which used
to make
me mad
Now I don’t
give a fuck
about any
of that stuff
I just
want you
back
(Originally Posted 20.10.2019)
Not the North Sea, mind
It’s far too fucking cold
Somewhere in the Med, perhaps
Underneath a sky of gold
Landlocked
If only
we could
just drift
away
to sea
Instead
of being
trapped
here in
misery
(Originally Posted 19.10.2019)
Our plan was hatched
And opportunity set
But then you went and spoiled it
By playing hard to get
Clandestine
Let’s
meet
up
And
misbehave
Then
take
our
secrets
To the
grave
(Originally Posted 19.10.2020)
2,995 posts
And one pickled liver later
It’s a good job
That I didn’t stop
Or I’d never have put pen to paper
Drinking
I fear
I’ve had
one too
many
tonight
Perhaps
now isn’t
the time
my story
to write
(Originally Posted 18.10.2019)
Over one thousand lifetimes
My answer would always be no
For it doesn’t matter
How much you flatter
I’d never again stoop so low
The Hopeless Romantic
You’ll
never
be the
one for
me,
So why
can’t I
just
leave
it alone?
Why do
I keep
getting
my hopes
up,
When
you’ve
made your
feelings
known
(Originally Posted 18.10.2019)
She’s still out there
Or so I’ve heard
Badmouthing me
To her adoring herd
Never recounting her part
In what happened with us
Preferring, as ever, to throw me
Under the bus
Bitter
Tell all
the lies
about me
you like
Spin your
twisted
tales
of spite
But half
truths won’t
make people
like you
And they
certainly
don’t make
you right
(Originally Posted 18.10.2019)
If you’ve ever planned a funeral
Then I’m sure you’ll relate to this
It’s easy not to crack
When focused on the task
But when it’s done, you fall to shit
Keeping Busy
It’s been
a busy
few days
In
many
ways
But now all
my tasks are
completed
So with
nothing
left to do
I’ll soon
be thinking
of you
And how
I’ve been left
feeling cheated
(Originally Posted 17.10.2019)
It will soon be three years
Without him here
And I know time is supposed to fly
But it feels like just yesterday
That he was my mainstay
So I’m not ready for some other guy
The Anniversary
It will
soon be
a year,
without
you here,
and I
don’t
know
what
to do.
For I’m
still
nowhere
near,
facing
my fear,
or the
reality
of losing
you.
Xxx
(Originally Posted 17.10.2019)
You all make it look easy
So I thought I’d give it a go
But what you get on a plate
I can’t replicate
So at least now, I know
Undeserving
I’ll
never
fall
in love
again
Not
that
I ever
wanted
to be
Love is
for those
with
delicate
souls
And
not
for the
likes
of me
(Originally Posted 17.10.2019)
I will quite happily sit here
Enjoying all this food and wine
But you should remember
That come next November
The last laugh will be mine
A Waste Of Money
Dearly
beloved
We
are
gathered
here
today
To
witness
this
couple’s
happiness
We
must
remember,
of course,
That
in a
year
they’ll
divorce
And
we’ll
have
forgotten
all of this
sappiness
(Originally Posted 16.10.2020)
Please don’t think me arrogant,
Inconsiderate or unkind
It’s just that if I must
Towards another man be thrust
Then I think I’ll lose my mind
Twinkle
You
say
that
look
in my
eye
Sends
shivers
down
your
spine
I hope
one day,
when
you
look
at me,
That
you’ll
send
shivers
down
mine
(Originally Posted 16.10.2019)
Nothing can ever take away
These songs that saved my life
But watching you now
Though you can still wow
That tie really is a crime!
‘Handsome Devil’
There
once
was a
light
That
shone
in my
life
But
now it’s
sadly
gone out
For
I have
since
found
Heroes
let
you
down
Of that
there
can be
doubt
(Originally Posted 16.10.2019)
There’s no use in trying
To understand
As it makes no difference
We may as well take complying
By the hand
And hope for deliverence
The Fall
I am
unsure
how it
happened
And I
certainly
don’t
know why
So there’s
nothing left,
for me to
do now
But
just sit
around
and cry
(Originally Posted 15.10.2019)
Well, I’m
proud
to have
you
On
my
arm
And
it’ll
remain
that way
It’s
not my
fault
That
he fell
short
And
let you
walk
away
Public Displays of Affection
It’s a
jarring
thought
For us
to be
caught
Holding
hands with
each other
I’d be
terribly
fraught
To think
of him
distraught
That I was
now in love
with another
(Originally Posted 15.10.2019)
They sense my attempt
To avoid them, the pack,
So they change their course
Quick smart
For there’s nothing more appealing
Than an injured woman concealing
The stench
Of her bleeding heart
Prey
The
wolves
are on
their
hunt
again
I can
hear
them
whine
and
howl
They
are
already
stalking
me,
I know,
For
you’ve
told
them
where
to prowl
(Originally Posted 14.10.2019)
I think he does this
From time to time
Sends me something
To ease my mind
Some small reminder
Of what once was
Knowing I find no comfort
In the words of God
From Beyond The Grave
There’s no
such thing
as a sign,
she said
Apart from
when you
need one,
he said
(Originally Posted 14.10.2019)
If only I
Had seen more sense
And not fallen foul
Of my incompetence
Perhaps our relationship now
Wouldn’t be past tense
And I wouldn’t still feel
These splinters from the fence
Just Passing By
It was you
That was
The one
For me
But a future
Between us
I just
Couldn’t see
I suppose
That now
None of that
Matters
For you’ve
Moved on
While I’m left
In tatters
(Originally Posted 13.10.2020)
Though it took a while
For me to smile
Still, it is artificial
Any feeling of mirth
For what it’s worth
Is purely superficial
Emotional Flux
The guilt
I feel
when
I smile
Consumes
my day
and night
Perhaps I
should
just wait
a while
Before
thinking
it’s alright
(Originally Posted 13.10.2019)
As there was no one to pull me
Back in from the ledge
It is here I remain
Drunk and in pain
Standing perilously close to the edge
A Little More
As I fall
apart
a little
more
each day
I wonder
if I’ll
always
feel
this way
How
much
lower
can I
sink?
Who will
pull me
back
from the
brink?
(Originally Posted 13.10.2019)
We can all claim
To be considerate and kind
To look after each other
In both heart and mind
But what I have found
If the truth be told
Is that people only care
When you’re dead and cold
Harsh Truth
It can
be a
hard
lesson
to learn
When
you’re
at the
point of
no return
That
nobody
actually
gives
a shit
Whether
you decide
to stay
or
end it
(Originally Posted 12.10.2019)
I would be lying
If, after he lay dying,
I said I returned all of his medication
That I didn’t at least keep some
To peruse and choose from
In any future difficult situation
Well, in fact, I did
And with how many I hid
I could have force fed the nation
So, dead behind the eyes,
Full of prescribed pills and otherwise
I fulfilled each and every obligation
Acceptance
I
asked
the
doctor
When
will the
tablets
work?
When do
they take
away my
hurt?
Nothing
will
do that,
she said
They
only
make it
so you
get out
of bed
I
asked
the
doctor
Are
you
sure?
Won’t
you do
something
more?
There’s
nothing
else I
can do,
she said
You just
have to
accept
that he
is dead
(Originally Posted 12.10.2019)
I’m pretty sure
That back in the day
They called it the seven year itch
And though I can’t be certain
Why she slept with that person
It’s obvious she was being a bitch
Nearly Twenty Years
I still
love you,
he said,
underneath
it all
But it’s
just not
enough,
she said,
I want more
(Originally Posted 10.11.2019)
I’m not sure if this notion
Of there only ever being one person
For us to love is true
But what I can say for sure
Is even if there were a hundred more
I would only ever want you
Galaxies
If
I was
to
decide
To
leave
this
place
I’d
still
find
you
again
In
any
time or
space
(Originally Posted 10.11.2020)
Maybe she’s born with it…
Or maybe she’s just clinically depressed…
Moods
Ups and downs,
Peaks and troughs,
But the darkness?
That never stops…
(Originally Posted 10.10.2019)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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