Go

Maybe it would be for the best if I left
Just got the fuck out of here for good

Let's face it, I could

I have no responsibilities
I have no commitments
I have nothing

And it's not like anyone wants me to stay anyway

Mild Peril

I trace those old scars with my finger
I remember the fleeting pain
And the lasting relief

I never told anyone

I hope I'm not about to re-open old wounds

Literally

Random #11

Sticks and stones definitely break bones
And words have always fucking hurt

Stop feeding your kids this bullshit

It only makes things worse

The Bridge

Today, I choose not to jump.

Tomorrow, who knows.

I am already standing too close to the edge…

 

Random #9

What I wouldn’t give to be creative
and be able to express it.

What I wouldn’t give
isn’t worth knowing about.

‘Of Course…’

There was, of course, a time 
when I wouldn't let this happen.
There was, of course, a time
when I'd have pulled myself out of this
mess and just got on with it.

But not now.
Now I feel different.
I've lost the need, the sense of urgency.
I'm not even worried if it doesn't come back.
I've given up hoping it will any more.

Although I know I can't carry on like this.
And honestly, I don't want to.
To get out of this shithole I've got to work.

And there is, of course, only so much daytime TV
you can watch.

 

I(d)

Who knows why I do these things.
Even I don't know why I do these things!
I know they are stupid, pathetic and immature.
And yet I still do them.

I ruin peoples lives.
I fuck up people's lives because my life is fucked up too.
It's like a revenge I love to wreak, but feel guilty about,
later. When it's over.

I just don't understand myself.
I make these things happen.
I lure people into my trap, spit them out
and then ignore the consequences.
Sometimes I wonder why I drink too much, smoke too much
and delve into substance abuse...

It's to cheat myself from the truth.

I am a fuck up.
I am a fuck up who fucks up other people's lives,
just for the fucking sake of it.

You have no idea how bored I have become.
Of fucking that is.

Lost

Lost.
Can't get out,
Can't see,
Can't feel.

Lost.
Don't want to be here,
What's my problem?
Take me away.

Lost.
Give me a break,
Can't reach out,
Caught kissing with my mouth full.

Lost.
Fell for you,
My words are slurred,
Why am I so helpless?

Lost. 
Where did all the time go?
Who am I?

I feel ill. 

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