Category: Laughing

High School Reunions

I
wonder
what

You’d
think
of me
now

Fat,
forty
and
fucked

Would
you
still
love me
forever

Want
to be
together
whatever

Or be
thankful
for the
bullet
you
ducked

21

A Waste Of Money

Dearly
beloved

We
are
gathered
here
today

To
witness
this
couple’s
happiness

We
must
remember,
of course,

That
in a
year
they’ll be
divorced

And
we’ll
have
forgotten
all this
sappiness

27

Waxworks

You
can’t
hold a
candle
to him

She
said

You’ll
never
know
how
we felt

I wouldn’t
go near
him with
a naked
flame

He
said

For
fear
that he
would
melt

6

Too Late

You
only
want
me
now

Because
he
says
he
does

Well
you
had
your
chance

But
you
rebuffed
my
advance

So go
jump
in front
of a
bus

17

Fuck Buddies

I
won’t
always
be
here,
you
know

For
when
you
feel
the
need
to
ask

Not
while
there
are
more
dicks
to
blow

And
other
glows
in
which
to
bask

12

Road Trip

Shall
we
run
away

She
said

To
where
we can
both
be free?

You
don’t
have
to ask
me twice

He
said

I’ll
go fetch
the car
key

14

Redundant

It’s
okay
to fail
sometimes

He
said

That
you
keep
trying
will
count

Tell
that
to the
bank
manager

She
said

As my
debts
continue
to mount

3

Self Portrait #1

Both a rhymer and a charmer

She only sticks around for drama

Writing with a screw loose or two

She isn’t scared of an expletive or few

Mourning the loss of her true love

She knows there’s no-one up above

Kind, caring and empathetic

She isn’t very sympathetic

Often scathing but often witty

She has a penchant for the nitty gritty

Sometimes joking sometimes smart

She weeps with her broken heart

Enamoured with music, wine and song

She knows with those she can’t go wrong

26

Shaking Spears

‘When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions ‘

‘Tell me about it, my friend, that’s why we deserve fucking medallions’

2

Middle-Aged Spread

Perhaps
I’ve
just
run out
of luck

Or
maybe
I don’t
give a
fuck

Either
way
it
doesn’t
matter

I must
accept
I’m
getting
fatter

10

Precipice

Grab
onto
this

He
said

It’ll
be
fine

It’s
one
I made
myself

I’m
not
sure

She
said

It
might
not be
safe

I’ve
seen
you
put
up a
shelf

4

Just Saying

Focus
on what
you can
control

And
leave
behind
what
you
can’t

That
way
you’ll
find
Bob’s
your
uncle

And
Fanny
really
is your
Aunt

20

With A Wink

You
really
are

He
said

Without
doubt

The
most
depressing
woman
I’ve
met

Really

She
said

That
is a
shame

As
you
ain’t
seen
nothing
yet

13

Overpaid Playboys

It’s
been
great
to hear
so much
more

Without
the
noise
of the
crowd

I
only
wish
it would
stay like
this

So we
hear
their
passion
out loud

8

A Love Quadrangle

It
should
be
me

Said
man
number
one

I’ve
been
here
from
the
start

It
should
be
me

Said
man
number
two

I’d
never
break
her
heart

It
should
be
me

Said
man
number
three

I
see
her
playful
side

Please,
stop
arguing
boys

She
said

You
couldn’t
handle
me if
you
tried!

27

Nom De Plume

Charmer’s the name

Misery the game

Pleased to meet you

I ain’t

I may lack flair

Writing without care

But really

I’m a saint

*winks*

16

Row 3 Seat 5

I don’t know
who said you
were funny

But I think
you’re pretty
witless

This really
wasn’t worth
the money

As I’m sitting
here bored
shitless

30

Kids

I
love
you

You
love
me

Let’s
make a
little
family

But try
not to
fuck
them up

Like our
folks did
to us

That way
they’ll be
fabulous

18

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