Category: Living

Snacks

Lying here

With you

Sure is

A delight

In fact

It’s this

That keeps

Me warm

At night

3

The Corporate Ladder

Give yourself a break

He said

We can all see

You’re trying your best

I just can’t afford to flake

She said

With all these cuckoos

In the nest

0

The Sycamore Gap

I saw it first

On TV

In a film made long ago

(If you can forgive

Their dodgy accents

It’s not that bad, you know)

There it stood

Pride of place

As part of that iconic scene

A symbol of majesty

And resilience

In a landscape stoically serene

Who knew

That its destruction

Would be so upsetting to me

It’s not like it was

A person

But a 300 year old tree

7

Cardboard City

Another winters night

Passes me by

As I lie here and think

Why me God, why?

I did everything

That you asked

Completed each

And every task

And yet here I am

All alone

With nowhere safe

To call my home

Wondering what else

I have to do

To feel anything other

Than contempt from you

2

Hiding In Plain Sight

It’s looking like

We got it wrong again

Because of his persona

We missed their pain

And although, I’m sure,

He’ll issue his refrain

Any protest now

Must surely be in vain

0

The Spooky Wifie

I wonder

If you’ll remember

All those things

You said to me

The last time

That we sat

In this room

Drinking herbal tea

I recall you had

A deck of cards

Asking me pick

Just three

Using them, then

As your guide

To set

The spirits free

I knew back then

It was bullshit

And now I don’t

Feel differently

But if indeed

You do remember

To your ‘gift’

I will concede

2

My Only Option

Frozen with fear

In the dead of night

I shed a tear

And hold on tight

As I pray to you

To see me through

Hoping this time

You’ll hear my plight

2

Sword In Hand

I’m back

She cried

With renewed vigour

As they

Looked away

With a comical snigger

We’ve heard it

Before

They all said

As she

Stood there

And shook her head

This time

It’s true

I’ll have

Your guts!

But deep down

She knew

What a fool

She looked

2

Living A Lie

Don’t be scared

He said

Now you’ve shared

I’ll keep your secret

‘Til the end

If they ever found out

She said

I’m not that devout

I fear chaos

Would descend

0

Another Year Older

I wasn’t exactly

Born happy

Lacking, as I did,

In good cheer and mirth

And now all I can say

As I celebrate, today

Is that this shit’s only

Got worse

17

In Retrospect

That’s the problem

With the past

As humans,

We tend to rose tint it

When in actual fact

If we really look back

It wasn’t quite like

How we wished it

Misrepresentation

The old days

Weren’t that good

Trust me,

I remember

(Originally Posted 27.02.2020)

0

Animal Wrongs

Fuck knows why

I picked a zoo

I couldn’t think

Of anything worse

Starting something

Amid such abuse

Could only prove

To be a curse

Swipe Right

How’s
about
it

Just
us
two

Fancy
a
walk

Visit
the
zoo

Get
a
beer

Eat
some
food

Spend
the
night

Being
terribly
rude

(Originally Posted 25.02.2020)

0

See You After The Break

Thank God I have

Two weeks annual leave

So from your chatter

I’ll enjoy a reprieve

The Water Cooler

If only
I could
feign
interest

Perhaps
we could
be friends

But in
fact you
bore me
witless

So I
pray this
conversation
ends

(Originally Posted 17.02.2020)

2

Spoon Fed

When you only have a little

A little can mean a lot

So even living off a trickle

Feels like winning the jackpot 

Hostages

I
can’t
let
go

You’re
all
I’ve
got

(Originally Posted 13.02.2020)

2

Office Politics

With the cost of living rising

And my prospects going down

It may well be time

For me to leave

This tired old humdrum town

Overdrawn

Another
day

Another
dollar

Fuck
knows why

We even
bother

(Originally Posted 10.02.2020)

7

The Reading Neuk

You won’t find me

In the kitchen at parties

I’ll be in the library

Where my mind is

Lost in my own little world

Of infinite story books

And far, far away

From your disapproving looks

Bookworms

Solace
comes
swiftly
to
those
who
read

For
those
who
devour
words
are
freed

(Originally Posted 07.02.2020)

4

Fallen

I know this comes off

As pretty strong

And there are many out there

Who’ll say I’m wrong

That I’ll wake up one day

And see the light

But with my godless life

I’m more than alright

All Religion Is A Cult

I see
you
standing
up there

Before
those
huge
stained
glasses

Spouting
out
your
scripture

Designed
to
terrify
the
masses

You
may
well
fool
some
people

Maybe
the ill
or weak
of mind

But
I’ll be
free
of you
one day

Leaving
the
bullshit
you
preach
behind

(Originally Posted 03.02.2020)

2

Not Everything Is For Sale

How much would it cost

He said

For everything combined

You might pay me for my body

She said

But you could never buy my mind

Money Talks

Don’t just fucking humour me

She said

Listen to what I’m saying

But my job is to indulge you

He said

Isn’t that why you’re paying?

(Originally Posted 02.02.2021)

10

The Sabattical Leave Request

Most days I do

Enjoy my work

And I welcome

The distraction

But as time goes by

It’s getting harder to try

And fake a positive reaction

(Anti) Social Work

I
think
I would
be

So
much
more
forgiving

If
I didn’t
have

To
work
for a
living

(Originally Posted 30.01.2020)

11

The Age Old Question

Does the milk go in

First or last

And does it

Really matter

It tastes the same anyway

At the end of the day

But for me,

It’s always the latter

‘Two Lumps Please’

To
help me
through
this
misery

Perhaps
I’ll
make
a drink

That
is what
they
say,
isn’t it?

A cup
of tea
solves
everything?

(Originally Posted 11.01.2020)

6

In The Library

I guess I’ve always felt

That little bit better

When I’m in amongst

Those words and letters

Safe in my own

Little fantasy world

Where my peace and quiet

Is undisturbed

The Window Seat

There’s
people,
people,
everywhere

Dashing
around
without
a care

Or,
at least,
that’s how
it looks

When I
glance up
from behind
my books

(Originally Posted 08.01.2020)

2

…In With The New

Who cares if I stayed in bed all day

Watching The World’s Strongest Man

I did it because I enjoy it

I did it because I can

Out With The Old…

At least yesterday

I missed your feast

It was always the part

I liked the least

Faking a smile

Whilst passing the peas

Thank fuck that now

I can eat in peace

(Originally Posted 02.01.2020)

6

On The Safe Side

Your question may have been rhetorical

She said

But I fear that you’ve angered fate

So you’d better take it back

She said

Before it proves to be too late

Shit Show

It
can’t
get
much
worse,
can it?

He
said

Than
the
year
that
has
just
passed

Well
you’ve
fucking
jinxed
it
now

She
said

That
you’ve
gone
and
bloody
asked!

(Originally Posted 02.01.2020)

0

Silence

It’s funny to see

How a younger me

Struggled with her

Own company

Yet now I love

To live that way

On New Year’s Eve

Or any other day

For Whom The Bell Tolls

I’m not ashamed
to admit

I shed a tear or
two last night

As the clock
struck twelve

It was all
a bit shit

Sitting here
by myself

(Originally Posted 01.01.2020)

2

The Ballad Of Boxing Day

Is that it now

He said

Have the bells rung out?

As I cannot eat

Another sprout

Oh shut your face

She said

All you’ve done is moan

You’ll be spending next year

On your own

(Originally Posted 26.12.2020)

0

Christmas Dinner

I really
can’t be
arsed
today

I’d
rather
just stay
in bed

I’m not
in the
mood

For
such
jollity

Preferring
melancholy,
instead

(Originally Posted 25.12.2019)

5

Naughty Or Nice?

Only ever

Fleetingly happy

But always

Desperately sad

Forever trying

To be good

Whilst contemplating

Being bad

(Originally Posted 24.12.2019)

4

‘I’ll Never Be Anybody’s Hero Now’

I used to be

Quite kindly

Cheerful

And fresh of face

Then something happened

That kicked off a pattern

Of both misery

And disgrace

Pedestals

They say you don’t know

What you mean to people

Whom you may never see

Well all I can say

Is I hope and pray

That no one relies on me

(Originally Posted 20.12.2020)

0

Qualms

An allegory for so much

This one

Love, life and death

Trying to capture that feeling

When you need to stop

And pause for breath

Keep The Engine Running

Shall
we go
ahead
and jump

He
asked

Now that
we’ve
come
this far?

I’m not
so sure,
anymore,

She
said

Let’s just
get back
in the
car

(Originally Posted 16.12.2019)

2

Feet First

In for a penny

In for a pound

Isn’t that what they say?

Well all I know is

If there are no strings

Then I’ll be there without delay

Cocktails At Dawn

Come over here

Let’s have a taste

As it would be a shame

If this went to waste

(Originally Posted 16.12.2020)

4

Gun Laws

It may well be known

As the land of the free

But that’s not always how

It looks to me

Clarity

In the time it took

To load the gun

He realised how

His demons had won

(Originally Posted 13.12.2020)

4

“I’m OK By Myself”

Someone asked me

Today

Why I prefer to travel

Alone

Because it’s easier

I said

Than listening to other people

Moan

Better Off Dead

Sometimes
I
wonder,

Is
this all
there is?

Just
boredom,
emptiness

And your
endless
bullshit?

I couldn’t
think of
anything
nicer,

Than to be
somewhere
else
instead.

Far from
all the
anxiety
and pain,

And your
words
plaguing
my head

(Originally Posted 07.12.2019)

2

Screwed

If we’d had a plan

When all this began

Perhaps we could both advance

But as things are

We’ve gone too far

And now none of us

Stand a chance

Obvious

At a
different
time

In a
different
place

The
answer
would
stare
us

Right
in the
face

(Originally Posted 30.11.2019)

2

Fat Cats

It really isn’t a ‘bargain’

To buy when and what you’re told

It’s just a load of shit

Pushed by capitalists

Who revel in taking your dough

Every Friday Is Black

Fuck off
with your
‘limited’
deals

The endless
offers and
pathetic
sales spiels

Think about
those already
in over
their head

And go hawk
your wares
somewhere
else instead

(Originally Posted 29.12.2019)

18

‘Purple Haze’

It doesn’t hurt as much

To look nowadays

But I’ll admit

That I don’t too often

As some of the things

We got up to back then

Are probably

Best forgotten

Polaroid Memories

I can no
longer
look at
at your
face

My
eyes I
have to
sheathe

For
tears
begin
to flow
at pace

And I
can no
longer
breathe

(Originally Posted 28.11.2019)

2

We’re Here For It

You always were the joker

Who we could count on for a laugh

So it’s been hard to watch you

Being literally torn in half

But you don’t have to pretend with us

Or put on your best gameface

As we know, one day, that humour

Will return to its rightful place

GameFace

All I do is let
people down

They want
me to smile

But I can
only frown

For I no longer
have the energy

To be the person
they want me to be

(Originally Posted 27.11.2019)

7

Same The World Over

Conversation should be encouraged

As healthy discourse can be great

But when you’re asked to provide

Basic human rights

It should never be a debate

Impasse

How
can
we
ever
put
things
right?

When
you
won’t
accept
you’re
wrong?

(Originally Posted 23.11.2019)

6

Ominous

I’ve never been one

For writing pretty

As you can probably tell

From this little ditty

Rhubarb

Searching
for
light

Raised
in
darkness

Our
numbers
grow

Despite
the
sparseness

(Originally Posted 22.11.2019)

2

The Inevitable

Protecting yourself

From someone else

Doesn’t make you mean

It just shows that you

In my view

Are great at forward planning

Weak

I really am sorry

I cannot take your weight

For my arms are too broken

From carrying my own

(Originally Posted 19.11.2020)

2

Uneven Playing Fields

The older I get

And the more I see

I realise

Our biggest lie

Is meritocracy

Light Years Away

If
we
are
all
supposed
to be
stars

Why
do
some
shine
brighter
than
others?

(Originally Posted 16.11.2020)

5

Self Improvement Isn’t Always Progress

I’ve really tried hard

These last few years

To become more authentic

But I fear in trying

To come out of hiding

I just look even more eccentric

‘Getting Away With It’

I’m
pretty
good
at it
now

Hiding
all
my
flaws

Thank
God
you
don’t
see

The
real
me

The
one
that’s
such a
fraud

(Originally Posted 09.11.2020)

8

Changing The Scenery

The car is booked

My bags are packed

But I’m not yet sure

If I’m coming back

The Ends Of The Earth

I really
cannot
wait to
drive

All
along
that
rugged
coast

To
settle
in those
mountains

And
mourn
who
I miss
the most

Xxx

(Originally Posted 06.11.2020)

0

Artificial Intelligence

If only we

Were like machines

Coded in black and white

We would be

Safe in our routines

And sleep far better at night

Outbid

Don’t
give
up,

The
email
reads,

You can
still get
what you
want.

Only an
automated
response,

I
believe,

Could
be so
nonchalant

(Originally Posted 02.11.2019)

2

Back From The Dead #3

As I lie here lamenting
My own demise
Please enjoy
This Halloween reprise
🎃

Body Snatchers

Far more terrifying

Than any soul left behind

Are the ghouls

Who camp out permanently

In the corners of my mind

(Originally Posted 31.10.2021)

4

Back From The Dead #2

As I lie here lamenting
My own demise
Please enjoy
This Halloween reprise
🎃

The Scottish Lair

Six
feet
under

All dark
and
gloomy

When
a small
voice
whispers

‘Welcome roomie…’

(Originally Posted 31.10.2020)

2

Back From The Dead #1

As I lie here lamenting
My own demise
Please enjoy
This Halloween reprise
🎃

Portent

There is no reprieve

For those who venture outside

As on All Hallows’ Eve

There’s nowhere to hide

(Originally Posted 31.10.2019)

8

Always Read The Fine Print

When he said I had three wishes

I thought I’d won the lottery

That he would now provide my chance

To finally be free

If only I had known then

Exactly what would come to be

As all those wishes bought about

Was pain and misery

The Lamp

I should
have been
more careful

With what
it was that
I wished
for

Because
I never
wanted it
to end

In this
way
at all

(Originally Posted 23.10.2019)

2

Thank Fuck It’s Friday

With all these plates

To keep on spinning

It’s no wonder that I

Never feel like I’m winning

Mondays

Head racing
a million
miles an hour

Heart
pounding
the same

So many
appointments
to make

So many
lions
to tame

(Originally Posted 21.10.2019)

2

The Perfect Cruise

Not the North Sea, mind

It’s far too fucking cold

Somewhere in the Med, perhaps

Underneath a sky of gold

Landlocked

If only
we could
just drift
away
to sea

Instead
of being
trapped
here in
misery

(Originally Posted 19.10.2019)

0

‘Your Face Is As Mean As Your Life Has Been…’

Nothing can ever take away

These songs that saved my life

But watching you now

Though you can still wow

That tie really is a crime!

‘Handsome Devil’

There
once
was a
light

That
shone
in my
life

But
now it’s
sadly
gone out

For
I have
since
found

Heroes
let
you
down

Of that
there
can be
doubt

(Originally Posted 16.10.2019)

0

Spilt Milk

There’s no use in trying

To understand

As it makes no difference

We may as well take complying

By the hand

And hope for deliverence

The Fall

I am
unsure
how it
happened

And I
certainly
don’t
know why

So there’s
nothing left,
for me to
do now

But
just sit
around
and cry

(Originally Posted 15.10.2019)

0

6hr 45mins

And so

It comes time

To travel home again

At least

I’ll sleep

On this fucking train

Digging For Worms

Please
make
sure
you
bury
me
deep

So
I can
finally
get
some
fucking
sleep

(Originally Posted 06.10.2020)

13

Out In The Open

There,
she said,
I’ve
told my
truth

There
isn’t
any
more

Well
I am
glad
you
stayed,
he said,

As
that
wasn’t
boring
at all

Telling Tales

Why don’t
you stay
here
a while,
he said,
and have
a cup
of tea

But
I don’t
understand,
she said,
why would
you want
to talk
to me?

You’ve
got a tale
to tell,
he said,
and I
would
like to
hear
more

Well
you’ll
be sad
to find,
she said,
that I’m
just a
crashing
bore

(Originally Posted 04.09.2019)

4

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