"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
Sometimes I
Have nothing to add
No further words
Or updates
This is one
Of those times,
I think,
As when I read this
My heart breaks
Leftovers
A weak and weary
confused mind
An empty and
hollow heart
As bleak as it is,
it is all I have
As my life has
fallen apart
(Originally Posted 13.07.2019)
You only have
To look at me
And I am powerless
To resist
As by your eyes
I am hypnotised
And before I know it
We’ve kissed
Temptation
Although
it seems
I’ve
lost
my way
I’d
like to
make it
back
someday
Now all
I can
do is
hope
and
pray
That
you
won’t
lead me
further
astray
(Originally Posted 12.07.2020)
It’s a word I use a lot
‘Abyss’
Reading back now
I have noticed
I hadn’t quite realised
How numb
I’d become
Or how dissociated I was
When I wrote this
Dwelling
Pain helps, momentarily.
It provides a fleeting relief.
Then the numbness returns
And living inside this emotionless abyss, continues.
(Originally Posted 12.07.2019)
It seems that every so often
I’ll write a cheeky one like this
I blame the Carry On films
I watched when I was a kid
Their irreverent innuendo
Now belongs to a time gone by
But they taught me comedic timing
And left a twinkle in my eye
Repetitive Strain Injury
Time is running out
She said
Remember we’re on the clock
I wish you’d just stop checking
He said
And focus on my… shoulder
(Originally Posted 11.07.2021)
And now
that
I am
better,
it seems,
you have
taken a
turn for
the worse
But you
won’t talk
to me,
despite
my plea,
which
is really
the most
perverse
Crutches
I fear
I have
lent on
you once
too often,
and now
you are
as broken
as me.
I should
never have
asked for
your help,
to be
honest,
as now
you’ll never
be free.
(Originally Posted 11.07.2019)
It took me so long
To make that mix tape
And then
You just threw it away
So I’ll never
Make you another one
Until
My dying day
‘Bought On Stolen Wine…’
All of
those
hours
Sat in
your room
Both
of us
wallflowers
Bathing
in gloom
(Originally Posted 10.07.2020)
Sounds like I was sick of platitudes
Back when I wrote this one
Had enough of condescending attitudes
When all was said and done
Yet as I think about it now
I’d love to hear them again
But sympathy disappears
When it falls on deaf ears
And eventually you run out of friends
No Consolation
There’s
no
point
in
crying
Over
spilt
milk
God
loves
you
for
trying
Blah
blah
blah
(Originally Posted 10.07.2020)
So as
The tide
At work
To stem
Now I don’t
Even bother
Talking
To them
The Office
Momentory conversations
With temporary people
Sharing fleeting emotions
Providing non-permanent relief
(Originally Posted 09.07.2019)
‘And if one day
You should see me in the crowd
Lend a hand and lift me
To your place in the cloud’
“So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.”
– F. Scott Fitzgerald
This could well be the inception
Of all those he said/she said pieces
And due to its reception
They’re now part of my ongoing thesis
The Deep
Do you think
we’ll make it
out alive,
she said,
hoping for
the truth.
I’m sure that
we’ll be fine,
he said,
with the
naivety
of youth.
(Originally Posted 08.07.2019)
The ultimate head fuck
For an obsessive planner like me
Is the loss of his soul
Was outwith my control
And something I did not forsee
(In)Competent
Out
of
all
the
things
I
can
say
or
do
What
hurts
me
the
most
Is
that
I couldn’t
save
you
Xxx
(Originally Posted 08.07.2020)
Let’s go have some fun
He said
Eat, drink and be merry
That’s nowhere near enough
She said
To persuade me to bite the cherry
One Week On
What
exactly
am I
missing
out on?
Go on
then
please,
explain
It’s
your last
chance to
convince me
To
leave
the
house
again
(Originally Posted 08.07.2020)
I had forgotten
Ever writing this
But reading it now
It’s so clear to see
Why the overwhelming trauma
I endured that morning
Will never leave
My memory
Sigh
Sorry
it must
end
this way
She
said
But
I need
to let
you go
Please
don’t
forget
what we
had
He
said
Or
how
I loved
you
so
(Originally Posted 07.07.2020)
If our case was
To be heard again
In any court of law
You know it would end
With your actions condemned
And you locked behind this door
At Her Majesty’s Pleasure
You were keen to kidnap my kindness.
Happy to hijack hope from my heart.
You smiled whilst you stole my soul,
and laughed as you looted the love from my life.
So why am I the one who is sentenced to this life of solitude,
And you are strolling around out there scot-free?
(Originally Posted 07.07.2019)
To anyone who has ever read
Liked, shared, or commented
You’ve helped more
Than you could know
Without your engagement
There’d be complete derangement
And I’d have ended things
Long ago
Futile
Sometimes,
I depress
myself
As my
thoughts
fill the
page
Why
am I
here
Wasting
everyone’s
time
Hoping
for
someone
to engage
(Originally Posted 06.07.2020)
If only this one
Was the truth bar none
And I had such a steadfast allure
But in reality
This could never be me
As I am all too easily ignored
Push And Pull
Love me
or
loathe me
You’ll
never
escape me
So why
would
you even
try
Kiss me
or
kill me
You will
always
want me
So there’s
no point
in saying
goodbye
(Originally Posted 06.07.2019)
I really hadn’t
Given much thought
To how hard
Life would be
Alone
The constant struggle
In this suffocating bubble
And all so far away
From home
A Tale Of Two Cities
I really don’t want to leave
But I know that I can’t stay
Though I’ll be alone
Wherever I go
So I’m screwed either way
(Originally Posted 05.07.2019)
You should stop the negative self talk
He said
And just give yourself a break
I’m not sure if that’s possible
She said
With the destruction I’ve left in my wake
Adjourned
Those
words
you
spoke
so softly
Are
etched
upon
my
brain
A
reminder
of
how
I really
did
Fuck
things
up
again
(Originally Posted 05.07.2020)
Your touch
Leaves me reeling
Your kisses
Make me swoon
It seems
That for now
From romance,
Somehow,
I am no longer
Immune
Carnal Knowledge
These
blissful
feelings
are all
consuming
Who knew
one kiss
would
be so
subsuming
(Originally Posted 04.07.2020)
I was thinking about this
Just last night
How I am not always
Visually inspired
Have I such little imagination
Lack a formal education
Or is it just that new glasses
Are required?
The Art Gallery
Sometimes
I think
I’m too
stupid to
understand
Sometimes
I think
I’m the
only one
that does
(Originally Posted 04.07.2019)
How can you sleep at night
She said
Just cutting me off like this
With no problem at all
She said
Despite how you persist
‘Because Enough Is Too Much’
I can explain
He said
If you want to hear it
I don’t have time
She said
For anymore bullshit
(Originally Posted 03.07.2021)
At that café
Drinking tea
I wished you were there
Sitting opposite me
But I soon realised
Even though we’re apart
You’ll always be with me
Inside my heart
Xxx
Royal Exchange Square
I had to come back here,
How could I not?
Because it all started here,
On that night I’ve never forgot.
Xxx
(Originally Posted 03.07.2019)
He may well
Have been a chancer
But he was also
A fine romancer
Otherwise I’d have left him
Years ago
‘… A Midnight Toker’
What
do I
have
to
show
for my
life
Fuck
all
is
the
answer
I
suppose
that’s
what
you
should
expect
When
you
risk
it all
on a
chancer
(Originally Posted 03.07.2020)
Charlatans and con artists
Preying on the weak
Making a pretty penny
Through their lies and false mystique
It’s not that I don’t ‘get it’
Or couldn’t possibly understand
It’s that their ‘gift’
Is a fucking grift
And, quite frankly, should be banned
Sceptical
You can tell me all you want
That you can hear him
But I’ll never believe it’s true
For if he was talking to anyone
From the ‘other side’
Then it would be me, not you
Xxx
(Originally Posted 02.07.2021)
Cuts that were made
Long ago
Given time do
Eventually heal
But their scars
Will remain
To remind you
Of the pain
You couldn’t reveal
No Sharps Please
The
cut
on
my
wrist
Has
now
healed
As
I was
told
not
to
pick
it
The
delicate
skin
Is
now
sealed
So
I will
try
not
to
nick
it
Again
(Originally Posted 02.07.2020)
‘I was born standing up
And talking back’
“We are the same, you and I – two odd, lonely children, reaching for eternity.”
– Tom Hanks (as Col. Tom Parker)
How many times
Did I say this
How many times
Did I wish it were true
But now that I’m free
Indefinitely
There is no fun
Without you
Staid
Is
that
it
now
She
said
Are
we
finally
done
As
I’d
like
to go
out
She
said
And
actually
have
some
fun
(Originally Posted 01.07.2019)
There was a period of time
After he died
When I returned to my old ways
Auditioning random men
As a replacement
All in a drunken haze
Thankfully
It didn’t last
And it proved to be just a phase
As I realised
Pretty quickly
It didn’t help with my malaise
On A Promise
What happens when the music stops
She said
Do we have to go home?
Wherever you end up going
He said
You won’t be going alone
(Originally Posted 01.07.2021)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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