"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
Quite a subtle reference here
To a drug I’ve seen
But never taken
I’ve just always known
Being dependence prone
That beast never to awaken
Need(le)
I
need
you
here
Please
come
and
save
me
I
need
to
feel
The
love
you
gave
me
(Originally Posted 01.07.2020)
Yet as the sun came out
Last summer
The glue I’d used soon melted
So whatever I felt back then
Didn’t start a trend
Or conclude as well as projected
Out Of The Blue
I woke up with a smile
Today
All the bad feeling
Had gone away
It actually felt
Like it was the start
Of gluing back together
My broken heart
(Originally Posted 30.06.2021)
Back before
I was heart broken
And became
Such a misery
I was capable
Of having fun
Which I did,
Consistently
This is one
Of many stories
From when I was
The queen of frolicking
To think how I was then
Compared to now
Is quite simply
Astonishing
If I could roll back
The years
And talk
To a younger me
I would tell her
‘Don’t just pick one fella’
And keep living your life
Care free
A Love Quadrangle
It
should
be
me
Said
man
number
one
I’ve
been
here
from
the
start
It
should
be
me
Said
man
number
two
I’d
never
break
her
heart
It
should
be
me
Said
man
number
three
I
see
her
playful
side
Please,
stop
arguing
boys
She
said
You
couldn’t
handle
me if
you
tried!
(Originally Posted 30.06.2020)
I dreamt about him last night
You know
For only the third time since he died
At least we had fun
In this one
And it was when I woke up I cried
A Heavenly Reunion
What
are
you
doing
here
He
said
I
told
you
not
to
follow
I
couldn’t
take
any
more
She
said
Life
without
you
left
me
hollow
Xxx
(Originally Posted 29.06.2020)
I’ve always been drawn
To water
Knowing it’s nearby
Is very relaxing
There’s been many a time
It has calmed my mind
And saved me
From fully collapsing
Down By The River
It’s so peaceful here.
Quiet. Serene.
If only the incessant chatter in my head would quieten down,
I might just be able to enjoy it.
(Originally Posted 29.06.2019)
I love that you see
Something in me
And I hope one day
That I’ll see it too
But whilst I am trying
There’s no point in denying
That I’m just not as nice
As you
The Bright Side Of My Dark Heart
I’m
glad
that
you
can
see
it
As
I
don’t
have
a
clue
But
out
of
everyone
It
might
have
been
I
knew
it
would
be
you
(Originally Posted 28.06.2020)
You would never just take an item
If it didn’t belong to you
Just because someone
Has since died
It doesn’t make that any less true
Too Big For Your Boots
I’d rather watch them burn
Than see them in your hands
How you even think
You could ever lay claim
I will never understand
(Originally Posted 28.06.2021)
Pretending I was fine
On that trip
Was just something
I needed to do
So I wiped my eyes
And stifled my cries
In the tent
Next door to you
Camping
The warmth of the sun on your face,
The anticipation of a road trip with friends,
The promise of tall tales around the campfire.
It’s the little things that bring the most joy.
(Originally Posted 28.06.2019)
It wouldn’t matter if you said sorry
Or tried hard to make amends
For we may always be
Family
But we’ll never again be friends
The Call That Never Comes (Not That I’d Answer If It Did)
I’m
sorry
for
what
I did
I’m
sorry
for
what
I said
I’ve
been
an
utter
arsehole
Given
that
he
is
dead
(Originally Posted 27.06.2020)
It has gotten easier
To get out of bed
But life without him
Has not
For there is little relief
From the pain of grief
And that is now my lot
Options
I am amazed, yet again, that I’ve found the courage to get out of bed.
You have no idea how hard it is.
This sustained internal struggle.
The conscious effort required to motivate myself to move.
The strength of belief needed to convince my anxious brain that we can get through the day unscathed.
It’s exhausting.
If only I could return to the naivety of the past.
Travel back to a time when sadness was mere affectation.
Where melancholy was a comforting friend.
And death wasn’t such a viable option.
(Originally Posted 27.06.2019)
Having been in this situation
More than once
I made sure to learn from it
So now I immediately
Draw the line
The second I smell bullshit
Distortion
You
tell
your
truth
And
I’ll
tell
mine
But
we
both
know
Who
crossed
the
line
(Originally Posted 26.06.2020)
This is how
You made me feel
Pathetic, lonely
And small
It took me far too long
To realise
That this wasn’t love
At all
Apologies
I’m sorry I act like I don’t care,
I’m sorry it seems like I’m rarely there.
I’m sorry it looks like I don’t even try,
I’m sorry that you’ve never see me cry.
I’m sorry I never appear in a hurry,
I’m sorry I always make you worry.
I’m sorry I can’t be who you want me to be.
But most of all I’m just sorry for being me.
(Originally Posted 26.06.2019)
If only I could make it better
But there is no way that I can
For you have lost her forever
Just the same as I lost my man
Real Talk
It
hurts
my
heart
To
hear
you
cry
And
watch
you
break
Like
this
As
your
life
Falls
apart
And
you
stare
Into
the
abyss
(Originally Posted 25.06.2020)
Have you thought about moving on
He said
Of starting a life with someone else
It hasn’t even crossed my mind
She said
As I’m more than happy on the shelf
It’s Not The Same Thing
Just think about
What I lost
On the day he died
Then ask yourself
If you were me
When would your tears subside?
(Originally Posted 25.06.2021)
‘If I saw you again I’d smile,
But I’d say don’t call me baby…’
“You know, I should just write down all my random thoughts and stuff that happens to me and conversations I have and just add a bunch of he said, she said’s, and get it published…”
– Logan Huntzberger
Author’s Note:
I didn’t steal this idea.
Honestly.
I think that when
I wrote this one
I was trying
Not to be too mean
But believe you me
Nothing was easy
Back
In twenty nineteen
How Are You?
It’s easier to say I’m alright,
Rather then I’m anxious.
It’s easier to say I’m okay,
Rather than I’m outraged.
It’s easier to say I’m better,
Rather than I’m broken.
It’s easier to say I’m good,
Rather than I’m grieving.
It’s easier to say I’m well,
Rather than I’m wasted.
It’s easier to say I’m fine,
Rather than I’m fucked.
(Originally Posted 24.06.2019)
Remember you said
You’d love me forever
And you begged me
To let you to stay
Well I’m beginning
To wonder
If that
Was a blunder
And if I should’ve
Walked away
Happier
Perhaps we’d
have been
happier
as strangers,
For never
having met.
Perhaps we’d
have been
happier
as strangers,
With nothing
to regret.
(Originally Posted 24.06.2019)
As
life
continues
To slip
through
my fingers
Here
I stand,
still
As the
sadness
lingers
Tinged With Sadness
In
amongst
all of
this
madness
Here
I stand
Heart
tinged
with
sadness
(Originally Posted 24.06.2020)
Believe it or not
Despite my wroth
I am actually quite sweet
I may talk shit
In these words I spit
But in real life I’m a treat
Nom De Plume
Charmer’s the name
Misery the game
Pleased to meet you
I ain’t
I may lack flair
Writing without care
But really
I’m a saint
*winks*
(Originally Posted 23.06.2020)
And who did win out
In the end?
Well it wasn’t you
Was it my friend
All that effort
To leave me crushed
And yet I walked
Before I was pushed
Match Point
Please,
ignore
me
more and
more
each day.
For you’ll
only
push me
further
away.
Please,
glower
at me
more and
more
each week.
For
I won’t
always
turn
the other
cheek.
Please,
isolate me
more and
more
as time
goes on.
For we’ll
see who is
victorious,
when all is
said and done.
(Originally Posted 23.06.2019)
You appear to me in a way
That is beyond my cognition
Emerging slowly into the light
As a ghostly apparition
I hear you whisper softly
How it is now your mission
To close the void between us
And put an end to Deaths partition
Mausoleum
In
the
graveyard
Of
my
mind
Is
where
the
memories
Of
us
reside
So
when
I’m
alone
In
the
dead
of
night
I
walk
the
tombs
Of
our
love’s
plight
(Originally Posted 23.06.2020)
I’ve done what I can
Said the man
The rest is up to you
I will try, Brother
Said the other
But it’s not what I am used to
Taking Turns
That’s
it
now
I’ve
pulled us
through
So for
better
or worse
It’s
over
to you
(Originally Posted 22.06.2020)
When you won’t decide
One way or the other
Known colloquially
As a ‘contrary little fucker’
That’s me
Indifference
Sometimes I do
Sometimes I don’t
Sometimes I will
Sometimes I won’t
Either deal with it
Or don’t
I’m not fussed either way
(Originally Posted 22.06.2019)
I met him on the Solstice
Many, many moons ago
There amongst the stones I thought
He looks to be in the know
So I asked him that question
The one you see below
But alas, he shook his head and said
‘I just go with the flow’
The Sage
Tell me
how
you do
it
She
said
How
do you
stay so
strong
I
don’t
really
know
He
said
I make
it up
as
I go
along
(Originally Posted 22.06.2020)
Written back in twenty twenty
When the threat of Covid loomed large
Who knew that then
Boris was in Number 10
Knee deep in a fucking farce
‘Better Alone Than In Company’
After
84
days
of
solitude
We’ve
finally
broken
the
bubble
Yet
who
could
have
known
That
in
just
one
minute
We’d
get
into
this
much
trouble
(Originally Posted 21.06.2020)
You know why
We ended up here, right?
It’s the only way
To resolve our fight
Now we are free
To call each other names
As we pull no punches
And sidestep the flames
On Fire
Hell
has
been
a lonely
place.
It’s
good
to see
you
down
here.
(Originally Posted 21.06.2019)
Remember when you told me
To do this / do that
And you expected
I’d dance to your tune
Well, in reality
Your words fell flat
And to your bullshit
I’m now immune
Think Again
It’s a
mistake
to tell
me what
to do.
Even
bigger
to think
I’d listen
to you.
(Originally Posted 21.06.2019)
I used to care
What he thought of me
That I did a good job
So my skills he’d see
But now he’s changed
And lost my respect
So I just take the wage
And disconnect
Diss Regard
What’s
the
point
In all
this
chatter
Now
I’ve
realised
You
don’t
matter
Anymore
(Originally Posted 20.06.2020)
No matter how hard you strive
To keep a memory alive
They’re always forgotten
In the end
At All
I reach
for your hand,
but it’s not there,
and further into
the abyss
I fall.
I search
for your face,
but you don’t care,
and it’s like we
were never here
at all.
(Originally Posted 20.06.2019)
Put lavender on your pillow
He said
Or drink some chamomile tea
I’ve tried every pill know to man
She said
So I doubt they’ll work for me
In The North
It never quite gets dark
This time of year
Which makes the sky so pretty
But when you’re already
Struggling to sleep
It is also kinda shitty
(Originally Posted 20.06.2021)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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