An Audience Of One

I write a bit

Now you know

Nothing special

Or much to show

But just enough

To get me though

And show how much

I still miss you

01/12/2023 0

Our Spot

You took my hand

As we crossed the sand

And I knew then

What I still know now

That’s why I come back here

Every year

To talk to you again

Out loud

01/12/2023 0

The Bad Apple

I’ll always be like this

She said

Of that I have no doubt

Because there isn’t enough goodness

She said

To drive the badness out

30/11/2023 0

Cold Hands, Cold Heart

I think

I’ll freeze

To death today

It’s not like

I’ll feel it

Anyway

29/11/2023 2

Getting On With The Job

Why should they rememeber

He said

Every year

When you never even talk

About him here

Well, it’s not like they cared

She said

In the first fucking place

Back when the pain was still written

All over my face

28/11/2023 3

The Perils Of Peer Support

I realise I fucked up

He said

When I wasn’t there for you

But I promise I’ll be here now

He said

And will help to see you through

All that shit is pointless

She said

We can’t go back in time

Just prioritise your own health

She said

And I’ll take care of mine

27/11/2023 0

It Never Lasts

Things can only get better

He said

If you keep up this attitude

It’ll be gone within the day

She said

Along with my good mood

26/11/2023 0

Gone

Love him while

You still can

As the hands of death

Wait for no man

25/11/2023 2

Just Text Him

It’s not for you

To dwell on

To deliberate

Or discuss

As I’ll be the one

To decide

If I have actually

Got the guts

24/11/2023 3

Fake As Fuck

That’s really amazing news

She said

I’m so very pleased for you

Now let’s just leave it there

She said

As you wouldn’t want the truth

23/11/2023 2

2.4 Children

We must catch up sometime

She said

I miss spending time with you

If that was all I had at home

She said

Then I would miss me too

22/11/2023 3

Liberté d’Expression

I know that it must seem

She said

Like I’m arrogant and self centered

But that’s not it at all

She said

I just write how I feel uncensored

21/11/2023 0

Sweet Dreams

I hope

You’re sleeping soundly

All tucked up

In your bed

I hope that guilt

Isn’t shouting too loudly

Inside your pretty

Little head

I hope

You’re remembering proudly

All those actions

That you took

And I hope

You’re realising quite roundly

How I no longer

Give a fuck

20/11/2023 2

To Care

You really shouldn’t wait

He said

Who knows what could happen next

It really wouldn’t matter

She said

As I’m far too fucking depressed

19/11/2023 0

The Long Dark

There are some nights

That never stop

Even when you look

That silent clock

Just seems

To stay the same

Time appears

To have stopped

And although you lie

There and watch

You know that everything

Has changed

18/11/2023 0

“You Can’t Stand Me Now”

Something of a hero

In your teens

The subject of many

Young girls dreams

Yet here you are now

Bloated and aging

With that yellowing skin

And cholesterol raging

So it’s hard to see you

As you once were

When that rakish charm

Caused quite the stir

Yet it’s not really you

That I feel sorry for

It’s all those young girls

Who don’t dream anymore

17/11/2023 0

You Don’t Fool Me

I don’t care

That you didn’t mean it

Or if just to deflect

You moved to attack

As now I know how you seethe

Underneath

And you can never take that back

16/11/2023 0

Like A Canary

With my head at rest

On the chopping block

I now think it best

That I start to talk

15/11/2023 6

Recognition

I saw it in

Your eyes that day

I heard it

In your voice

You, like me,

No longer see

Living

As a choice

14/11/2023 0

Universal

She said she’d written it

About herself

When I saw her

On TV

But there’s no way

She could portray

The exact same feelings

As me

13/11/2023 0

Interview With A (Grief) Vampire

I didn’t tell you

All back then

So don’t think

That I’ll talk now

Just because

You’ve changed your tune

Doesn’t mean

You’ve won me round

12/11/2023 8

Better Eat Your Spinach

If you should ever fall

He said

Then I’d be here to catch you

Well you’ll need pretty strong arms

She said

With legs to match them too

11/11/2023 2

On With The Show

Save your cheers

Your whoops and applause

I don’t deserve it

I’m inherently flawed

And please don’t say

That’s why you love me

Because that’s even worse

Than just clapping would be

10/11/2023 0

What Do You Want From Me?

You don’t see it, do you?

She said

The sadness in my eyes

That’s because you hide it

He said

So you shouldn’t be surprised

09/11/2023 0

Imaginary Friends

I have

More fun

In my head

That’s why

I prefer

To stay in bed

08/11/2023 4

Gritted Teeth

The hardest part

About being depressed

Isn’t crying

Every day

The hardest part

About being depressed

Is pretending

You’re OK

07/11/2023 8

‘They Fuck You Up…’

I’ve always felt

Misunderstood

Wrong, somehow

And not much good

But I’ve come to learn

As I have aged

I wasn’t born this way

I was made

06/11/2023 2

Unqualified

If you needed help

He said

Why didn’t you just ask

Because I knew

She said

You weren’t up to the task

05/11/2023 0

Craving

I held you once

In my arms

Yet you slipped

Right through

My fingers

Now my heart burns

For your return

As the touch

Of your hand

Lingers

04/11/2023 4

You Just

You just haven’t met the one

They said

You just need to give it time

You just need to fuck off

She said

You just don’t get to decide

03/11/2023 3

Stop Killing Children

The world is now

In disrepair

Our humanity

In tatters

Yet all you can say

Is “how dare they”

Like being right

Is all that matters

02/11/2023 2

We’ll Never Know

If we could go back

What would you do

Stick around for another

Drink or two?

Or would you leave me

There alone

And find someone else

To walk you home

01/11/2023 0

Resting Witch Face

I don’t need

To don a costume

Or paint my face

With vampiric

Ghoulishness

I’ve already spent

The year

As the epitome

Of drear

So there’s no need

For today’s foolishness

31/10/2023 6

Autonomy

It won’t be

The fault

Of destiny

Or a hand

Fate fails

To deal

I’ll leave

Unperturbed

And without

A word

Because that’s

How I’ll fucking feel

30/10/2023 2

Maybe Next Time

I really am

Very sorry

I did not mean

To offend

But to look

Interested

In what you

Had suggested

I couldn’t be bothered

To pretend

29/10/2023 4

Adequate

I’ll never have

The perfect body

I’ll always be

An imperfect soul

So to get through each day

Without further decay

That

Is the fucking goal

28/10/2023 3

Groomed

Please don’t act

Like you asked

When you

Just fucking took it

There’s no hiding the fact

It wasn’t lawful contact

However

You fucking put it

27/10/2023 0

Clock Watching

I commend

Your curiosity

I absolutely do

The fact

That I’m not

Remotely arsed

Says far more

About me

Than you

26/10/2023 0

Never Gonna Happen

It wasn’t

That I didn’t see you

I knew

You were standing

Right there

It was more

That I

Just ignored you

And passed by

Without

A care

You see you

Are quite unimportant

And mean not a thing

To me

And mine

So I suggest

That you also

Start walking

And stop wasting

Everyone’s time

25/10/2023 0

Winter

Here I am

Pretending again

Faking a smile

To hide my pain

I fucking hate this weather

24/10/2023 15

“I Left The North Again”

They say you

Should never

Go home again

As you’ll only

Be disappointed

But it’s being back

On the road again

That makes me feel

Disjointed

23/10/2023 0

Snacks

Lying here

With you

Sure is

A delight

In fact

It’s this

That keeps

Me warm

At night

22/10/2023 3

Charming Collaborations #8

Never Give Up

Don't give up now 
He said
You have come so far

The moment you give in
Is the moment 
You fuck up 
You can't afford to regress
He is not there to catch you
When you fall flat
On your pretty face

21/10/2023 0

A Well Trodden Path

Tell me about yourself

He said

I’m here to listen

Not talk

There’s nothing left to say

She said

As every ware I’ve had

I’ve hawked

20/10/2023 0

This Dating Life

You weren’t even worth
Making a mess
Of my shiny red lips
Or that brand new dress

You didn’t deserve
What was underneath
Or to hear me moan
Between the sheets

So now you know
Why I “got the hump”
As you’re home alone
Having fucked things up

And when they all ask
How my evening went
I’ll be sure to tell them
Of my utter torment

19/10/2023 2

The Fairier Sex, My Arse

Why not

Give him

A round

Of applause

Like every man

Deserves,

Of course

After all

Where would

We be

If not at

The behest

Of the patriarchy

18/10/2023 7

Spineless

Please don’t say it’s over

He said

I won’t believe it

If you do

It’s exactly that lack of backbone

She said

That I hate most

About you

17/10/2023 2

Punching Low

Why the fuck

Would you stay

When you know

That shit

Is not okay

There has to be

Some other way

For you

To leave

Without delay

16/10/2023 4

One-Track Mind

I pray to God

For no leaves on the line

So that nothing derails

This heart of mine

15/10/2023 4

Partners In Crime

I’m glad

It all

Was good

For you

And that

It worked

Out well

Now I

Will just

Stay here

Alone

Languishing

In hell

14/10/2023 4

I See You

You’ll say

You didn’t mean it

And it was

An honest mistake

But you’re a shit actress,

Quite frankly

So I know exactly

Just what point

You were trying to make

13/10/2023 2

No Means No

If we both stay here

He said

I fear my resolve

Will break

Let’s be very clear

She said

That’s not your choice

To make

12/10/2023 0

You’ll Find

No one cares

In the end

Not even family

Or your friends

11/10/2023 2

Sleeping On Trains

From the corner

Of my eye

I see you

Sitting there

Her head resting

On your thigh

Your fingers

Stroking her hair

I remember those days

My head touching his

When my heart

Would do nothing but flip

Yet all I feel now

Seeing such bliss

Is the overwhelming urge

To be sick

10/10/2023 2

At The Hip

Highlands or Islands

Anywhere will do

I’d happily live

In outer space

As long as it’s

With you

09/10/2023 6

Charming Collaborations #7

Stranger Danger 

The night our worlds collided 
So different and yet the same 
I lost myself in your eyes 
Without even knowing your name

You were merely a stranger 
Who stole my heart
In the most dangerous way
Now I am searching 
For a glimpse of you
And the space we once shared
In a crowded square

08/10/2023 10

Charming Collaborations #6

It Is What It Is 

From what happened 
Between us last night
I have a feeling 
This has potential

I even contemplate
to stay for breakfast
skip work
and love on you more
But after my first cigarette
I realised 
for our art to be perfect
I must play the escape artist
once more

You see I cannot give you
What you want 
Unless we can agree 
To take it slow 
I may not be sure 
Of many things
But my fear of love
I know 

If that's not enough for you
We'd better call it quits 
Not everything has a happy ending
Life can be a hit and miss