Dissociation

To not know

Who to trust

Certainly fucking hurts

But to be unsure

Of ones own self

Is infinitely worse

Headfuckery

I dreamt
About you
This afternoon
For only
The second time

Then
As I woke up
The silence sent
It’s shivers
Down my spine

Xxx

The Faceless Female

She’s back again,
the little control freak,
whispering from my shoulder.

She never really goes away,
despite my efforts to brush her aside
or however much I grow older.

I’ve never once turned to look
at her whilst I try hard to
drown out her speech.

But I never forget
she’s there, berating me,
and bleeding me like a leech.

(Originally Posted 04.08.2019)

Aftermath

Confusion reigns
As my head struggles to explain
What I feel inside my heart

Sadness remains
As with all encompassing pain
I hate that we have to part

(Originally Posted 06.07.2019)

Ontology

Who am I now?

What should I do?

Why am I still here?

When I could be with you?

Xxx

The Pact

How very dare

You go up there

Without taking me

Don’t you care

Can’t you see

That’s where I’m

Supposed to be

Torn

How will you know

She said

If it’s her or me?

I have no idea

He said

Confusedly

Et Tu, Brute?

Out of
everyone
it could
have been

I didn’t
expect
it to
be you

I thought
you’d be
with me
forever

Not be
first
in the
queue

Immoral

This
can’t
go on

We
mustn’t
continue

As the
guilt is
seeping

Into
every
sinew

It
has to
stop

It
shouldn’t
have
started

As
we
made a
mockery

Of our
dearly
departed

Drunk

Looking in
the mirror
gives me
a fright,

But I think
I had a
good time
last night.

I don’t
remember
much or how
I got home,

Thank
fuck I’ve
woken up
alone.

Confusion

No!
No!
No!

Yes!
Yes!
Yes!

How am
I supposed
to decide
what to do

When my
head is
in such
a mess?

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