Old Hat

You’ve
been
on my
mind
today

More
than
any
other
time

If only
it had
inspired
something
epic

And
not this
fucking
awful
rhyme

Forty Two

As cold as the sun,
As warm as the snow.

As loud as the silence,
As high as the low.

This could be
the meaning of life,

For all I fucking know.

The Raven

Those
piercing
eyes

That
matte
black
beak

I wonder
what
secrets
you
would
yield

If
only
you
could
speak

Something Old / Something New

I wandered lonely as a cloud

Screaming the words fuck you out loud

As, like the night, she walked in beauty

I wished someone would just come along and shoot me

As I, in the wood, took the road less travelled

I sat and cried as my mind unravelled

And as we talked between the rooms

I closed my eyes and succumbed to the fumes

Afternoons

Once again
it’s that
time of day

Do I get
out of bed
or stay

Here all
afternoon
and wonder

Why our
hearts were
torn asunder

(In) Tense

If only you would
If only you wouldn’t

If only you could
If only you couldn’t

If only I did
If only I didn’t

If only I had
If only I hadn’t

Acrimony

Whilst
trying
to fix
this
hopeless
mess,
I’ve
realised,
it’s all
just
fucking
pointless
anyway.

Nobody wins.

The Hangman

I really
try my
best to
cope and
not just
sit around
and mope
but as
time moves
on I
know there’s
no hope
I can
forget the
past and
avoid the
rope that
silently
whispers my
name

An Unwanted Gift

You’ll always carry it with you,
The pain.

You can try to wrap it differently.

Use an alternative box,
Choose a shiny wrapping paper.
Secure it with ribbon,
Even glue on a fucking huge bow,
If you like.

But you’ll still carry it with you,
The pain.

Like a gaudy present nobody wants to open.
An unwanted gift you can never return.

Bank Holidays

Days off
are always
difficult.

There’s
so much more
time to fill,
without you.

So many
memories
of what we
used to do.

I’d rather
be at
work.

At least
there, I
get paid
to be
miserable.

April Fool’s Day

You can stop writing your pithy little poems, for your soul mate isn’t dead.

Your tears need no longer flow.

Your heart can beat again.

It’s an April Fool,

You fool.

Freezing

I tried really hard today.

To laugh.

To be normal.

To forget.

And I managed, for a while.

But still I lie in bed here, freezing, hoping to go to sleep and dream of you.

Tomorrow

I’m not sure how I’ll feel when I’m forced to remember you, tomorrow.

Forced to remember those torturous nights.

Forced to remember those heart breaking conversations.

They were so private, so personal, so intense.

Those words only ever destined to leave your lips and reach my ears.

There will be others there that feel the same way about their loved one, I’m sure.

And there will be others there just to watch. To steal someone else’s story to tell as their own.

Fuck them.

I’m not sure how I’ll feel when I’m forced to remember you, tomorrow.

I just wish you were still here.

And that I didn’t have to go.

Must Try Harder

You must try harder, he says.

Harder to smile,

Harder to laugh,

Harder to forgive,

Harder to forget,

Harder to live again,

Harder to love again.

You must try harder, he says.

I can’t, she whispers

I’m sorry.

Two Day Hangovers

You can take a tablet to halt a head ache.
You can eat a sandwich to settle a queasy stomach.
You can sleep a while to revive your weary bones.

But the self loathing?

That shit lingers on inside your head for days. And there’s nothing you can do to help that.

God, hangovers are awful.

Hope

Your words help guide my wayward step
and shine light in to my darkened heart

Your smile breaks my fall to the kitchen floor
and stems the tears in my haunted eyes

Your touch quietens the incessant voice in my head
and replenishes my embittered soul

You allow me to believe that love might be possible again

One day

Who Goes First?

It’s better that I’m living without you

Rather than you living without me

You’d never cope with this pain

It has wrecked me

But it would have destroyed you

And I would have hated that