Letting It Out

Sometimes it is sadness

Sometimes it’s deep frustration

But mostly it’s just

That I still feel lost

In this whole fucking situation


Hold Me

Words
can
not
describe
the
hurt

As my
tears
fall
onto
your
shirt

Xxx

(Originally Posted 07.09.2020)

From The Back Row

Crying because I was happy

Crying because I was sad

Crying because I had lost

The best friend I’d ever had


Joy and Sadness

Resisting
the urge
to cry
today
is futile.

(Originally Posted 24.05.2019)

Shut In

As if all I do

Is wander around

And weep into the rain

When I really feel blue

To my bed I am bound

As that is my real domain


Grey Days

I love
walking
on grey days

The raindrops
land on my face
and mingle with
my tears

Hiding them
from prying
eyes

(Originally Posted 02.05.2019)

‘Happy Or Sad?’

There’s not much I can add

To this one

As the conflict still exists

To this day

Yes, there are days

When I can laugh

But those tears aren’t ever

Too far away


Conflict

I laughed today.
Hard.
Tears ran down my face,
Dizziness overtook me as my muscles ached from the strain,
And I thought I’d never breathe deeply again.

I cried today.
Hard.
Tears ran down my face,
Dizziness overtook me as my muscles ached from the strain,
And I thought I’d never breathe deeply again.

As I soldier on, as best I can,
this simultaneous existence
of conflicting emotions
is slowly killing me.

(Originally Posted 10.04.2019)

Triggered

They’re always there

Behind my eyes

Just waiting

For their time to pour

Anything and everything

Can set them free

With no reason why

Or even wherefore

I Won’t Forget

I still cry for him at night

You know

There’ll never be a time

I won’t

Just because you’re not here

To wipe away

My tears

Doesn’t mean

I don’t

Memorial Memories

It’s been two years since you left me

Sitting all alone in that church

Cold, confused and crying

So painfully in the lurch

But it’s not really his death you know,

That has been the most pernicious

It’s how the rest of you have chosen to be

So incredibly fucking malicious

Self Worth

I’d give you my heart,
But it’s not worth me trying

I’d give you my body,
But it’s not worth your touch

I’d give you my soul,
But it’s not worth my crying

I’d give you my life,
But it’s not worth very much

(Originally Posted 19.04.2019)

Poles Apart

I still cry myself to sleep

Not that you’d know

You selfish creep

You think because

We all lost him

That we both feel the same

But you’ve really got

No fucking clue

How I live each day in pain

A Different Coat

I cried for
hours this
morning

I found your
notebook in
my pocket

Now I’ve
started to
read it

I don’t
know how
to stop it

Questions from The Other Side

How do you
want me to feel?

Guilty for trying?
Because I am not.

Guilty for crying?
Because I am not.

Guilty for lying?
Because I am not.

Guilty for dying?
Because I am not.

Dreaming

Not only
did I
sleep
last night

I
also
dreamt
of you

I
woke
up
crying

With
my
insides
dying

Oh why
can’t my
dreams
come true?

The Fall

I am
unsure
how it
happened

And I
certainly
don’t
know why

There’s
nothing left
for me to
do now

But
just sit
around
and cry

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