"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
You should be given a manual
For when your loved one dies
Not just on how to cope with grief
But practical advice
There’s so many things you have to do
When you’re under all that pressure
It’s no wonder some things are forgotten
And then they’re lost, forever
I Should Have Done It Back Then
The last link
Has been ripped away
Our final tether
Is severed
And all I can hear
Is your voice
Telling me
That I really should’ve done better
Xxx
Ultimately,
I can’t
come
back
For an
earthly
body,
I now
lack
But
regardless
of that,
you should
know
I’ll
always be
with you,
wherever
you go
Love Lost
If I
promise
to love
you
more
Than
I ever
did
before
Would
you
come
back
to me?
Xxx
(Originally Posted 16.08.2020)
There were so many photos taken
Back in twenty nineteen
And I had to pose
All alone
With a gap where you should’ve been
Speechless
There is so much
I want to tell you
So many things
I want to share
But my tears flow
all over again
When I realise
you’re not there
(Originally Posted 15.08.2019)
Stain free
Pain free
Neither really
Matter to me
As I’m still mad
And deeply sad
That this is how
It has to be
Only Sadness Remains
I wander barefoot
in the rain
Trying to wash
away your stain
Now that I’m left
in eternal pain
I’d give anything
to laugh again
(Originally Posted 12.08.2019)
“I’m 84 and I listen to this song every night before my bed, just in case I die in my sleep”
– Anonymous YouTube Comment
No longer the main attraction
I have been consigned to the basement
As people couldn’t touch
They stopped looking as much
And so they wheeled out my replacement
Life as a Relic
It’s like
I’m now
a museum
exhibit
Everyone
is welcome
to stop
and stare
But there
is no
touching
allowed
(Originally Posted 27.07.2019)
This was just one route
That I’d considered
Amongst the many others
I had planned
I’d completely lost the plot
I think
In a way not many
Would understand
It seems that I
Had turned that choice
Into some kind of
Romantic notion
Which, it seems
For a while at least
Is how I coped
With my emotions
It took me some time
To best those thoughts
And to comprehend
The brutality of falling
But that’s not to say
They truly went away
And all I’m doing now, really
Is stalling
Look Out!
Falling
Tumbling
Through the air
Wondering
What it’s like
Down there
People standing
Faces aghast
Yet I don’t care
As I breathe my last
(Originally Posted 19.07.2020)
Now the worst has happened
And the handover is complete
There is nothing I can say or do
To help him back to his feet
Handover
You’ll
never
cope
She
said
When
this
happens
to you
I
know
He
said
I’m
dreading
it too
(Originally Posted 16.07.2020)
The ultimate head fuck
For an obsessive planner like me
Is the loss of his soul
Was outwith my control
And something I did not forsee
(In)Competent
Out
of
all
the
things
I
can
say
or
do
What
hurts
me
the
most
Is
that
I couldn’t
save
you
Xxx
(Originally Posted 08.07.2020)
Let’s go have some fun
He said
Eat, drink and be merry
That’s nowhere near enough
She said
To persuade me to bite the cherry
One Week On
What
exactly
am I
missing
out on?
Go on
then
please,
explain
It’s
your last
chance to
convince me
To
leave
the
house
again
(Originally Posted 08.07.2020)
I had forgotten
Ever writing this
But reading it now
It’s so clear to see
Why the overwhelming trauma
I endured that morning
Will never leave
My memory
Sigh
Sorry
it must
end
this way
She
said
But
I need
to let
you go
Please
don’t
forget
what we
had
He
said
Or
how
I loved
you
so
(Originally Posted 07.07.2020)
At that café
Drinking tea
I wished you were there
Sitting opposite me
But I soon realised
Even though we’re apart
You’ll always be with me
Inside my heart
Xxx
Royal Exchange Square
I had to come back here,
How could I not?
Because it all started here,
On that night I’ve never forgot.
Xxx
(Originally Posted 03.07.2019)
Charlatans and con artists
Preying on the weak
Making a pretty penny
Through their lies and false mystique
It’s not that I don’t ‘get it’
Or couldn’t possibly understand
It’s that their ‘gift’
Is a fucking grift
And, quite frankly, should be banned
Sceptical
You can tell me all you want
That you can hear him
But I’ll never believe it’s true
For if he was talking to anyone
From the ‘other side’
Then it would be me, not you
Xxx
(Originally Posted 02.07.2021)
There was a period of time
After he died
When I returned to my old ways
Auditioning random men
As a replacement
All in a drunken haze
Thankfully
It didn’t last
And it proved to be just a phase
As I realised
Pretty quickly
It didn’t help with my malaise
On A Promise
What happens when the music stops
She said
Do we have to go home?
Wherever you end up going
He said
You won’t be going alone
(Originally Posted 01.07.2021)
I dreamt about him last night
You know
For only the third time since he died
At least we had fun
In this one
And it was when I woke up I cried
A Heavenly Reunion
What
are
you
doing
here
He
said
I
told
you
not
to
follow
I
couldn’t
take
any
more
She
said
Life
without
you
left
me
hollow
Xxx
(Originally Posted 29.06.2020)
You would never just take an item
If it didn’t belong to you
Just because someone
Has since died
It doesn’t make that any less true
Too Big For Your Boots
I’d rather watch them burn
Than see them in your hands
How you even think
You could ever lay claim
I will never understand
(Originally Posted 28.06.2021)
If only I could make it better
But there is no way that I can
For you have lost her forever
Just the same as I lost my man
Real Talk
It
hurts
my
heart
To
hear
you
cry
And
watch
you
break
Like
this
As
your
life
Falls
apart
And
you
stare
Into
the
abyss
(Originally Posted 25.06.2020)
Have you thought about moving on
He said
Of starting a life with someone else
It hasn’t even crossed my mind
She said
As I’m more than happy on the shelf
It’s Not The Same Thing
Just think about
What I lost
On the day he died
Then ask yourself
If you were me
When would your tears subside?
(Originally Posted 25.06.2021)
I think that when
I wrote this one
I was trying
Not to be too mean
But believe you me
Nothing was easy
Back
In twenty nineteen
How Are You?
It’s easier to say I’m alright,
Rather then I’m anxious.
It’s easier to say I’m okay,
Rather than I’m outraged.
It’s easier to say I’m better,
Rather than I’m broken.
It’s easier to say I’m good,
Rather than I’m grieving.
It’s easier to say I’m well,
Rather than I’m wasted.
It’s easier to say I’m fine,
Rather than I’m fucked.
(Originally Posted 24.06.2019)
You appear to me in a way
That is beyond my cognition
Emerging slowly into the light
As a ghostly apparition
I hear you whisper softly
How it is now your mission
To close the void between us
And put an end to Deaths partition
Mausoleum
In
the
graveyard
Of
my
mind
Is
where
the
memories
Of
us
reside
So
when
I’m
alone
In
the
dead
of
night
I
walk
the
tombs
Of
our
love’s
plight
(Originally Posted 23.06.2020)
No matter how hard you strive
To keep a memory alive
They’re always forgotten
In the end
At All
I reach
for your hand,
but it’s not there,
and further into
the abyss
I fall.
I search
for your face,
but you don’t care,
and it’s like we
were never here
at all.
(Originally Posted 20.06.2019)
It’s great you have a hobby
He said
Not one I share, I confess
Because writing isn’t a hobby
She said
It’s a matter of life or death
Vocabularians Of The World Unite
Vocabularians of the world unite
To put the wrongs of our world right
To give a voice to those too tired to fight
And into the darkness bring forth the light
(Originally Posted 18.06.2020)
I don’t think
It will matter
How much time
Continues to turn
This will
Forever
Be the case
That much
I have learned
Three Score And Ten
Some
days
it feels
like
forever
Others
it feels
like a
minute
But no
matter
how
much
time has
passed
Life is
still
shit
without
you
in it
Xxx
(Originally Posted 17.06.2020)
‘If this world is wearing thin
And you’re thinking of escape
I’ll go anywhere with you
Just wrap me up in chains
But if you try to go alone
Don’t think I’ll understand…’
‘Why are you so sarcastic all the time?’
‘Cause it stops me killing people – including myself’
– Tony
I thought about you today.
Twice.
The first, when I sat and re-read this poem.
The second, when I tried to write a response.
It was only then I realised it has been nine hundred and twenty two days since you died.
And I remembered not just what I lost that day, but how much it still hurts now.
And I cried again today.
Twice.
The Corner of My Eye
I thought I saw you today.
Twice.
The first, when you were waiting to cross the road.
The second, when you were ahead of me in the queue at the post office.
It was only when you turned around, and I saw your face, that I realised it wasn’t you.
And I remembered, with a desperate ache, why it could never be you.
And I cried again today.
Twice.
(Originally Posted 10.06.2019)
If only it was
An abyss we shared
Rather than you long gone
And me ill-prepared
Captives
Was it you
Or was it me
Who soldiered on
Too blind to see
It was always destined
To end like this
With both of us falling
Into the abyss
(Originally Posted 10.06.2021)
And
then
He
did
Duped
You
must
never
leave
me
She
said
For
I
would
fall
apart
I’ll
stay
with
you
forever
He
said
I could
never
break
your
heart
(Originally Posted 08.06.2020)
Even now I struggle
To lie on your side of the bed
I just wish you were in it
As often as you are my head
Xxx
A King Sized Longing
Lying in bed
Late at night
I turn over
With a sigh
I reach out
With my hand
But it’s now empty
Where you would lie
Xxx
(Originally Posted 31.05.2021)
Crying in the chapel
Many years ago
Missing you intently
And wishing it wasn’t so
Granite
I wish
you were
with me
Gently
squeezing
my hand
Providing
me with
comfort
Helping me
understand
(Originally Posted 28.05.2020)
Crying because I was happy
Crying because I was sad
Crying because I had lost
The best friend I’d ever had
Joy and Sadness
Resisting
the urge
to cry
today
is futile.
(Originally Posted 24.05.2019)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
You must be logged in to post a comment.