Tag: fun

Goodbyes

So long

Farewell

Auf Wiedersehen

Adieu

I never liked you anyway

Or the rest of your fucking crew

32

Theatrics

Of my love

For you

I’ve never been

More certain

It is time

To drop

The safety curtain

So with confidence

And fiery gusto

Let’s just get

On with our show

29

The Over 40’s Club

Let’s both jump

Into this taxi

Please just take me home

And have me

I’m done waiting

Now is our time

Let’s grasp this moment

Whilst we’re in our prime

15

(High)lands

Let us 
roam 
amongst 
the 
heather

Laugh 
out loud  
betwixt 
the 
blether 

Kiss
amidst
this
stormy
weather

Until
we 
come
undone
together
19

High School Reunions

I
wonder
what

You’d
think
of me
now

Fat,
forty
and
fucked

Would
you
still
love me
forever

Want
to be
together
whatever

Or be
thankful
for the
bullet
you
ducked

21

Closing Time

If a
nod

Is as
good

As a
wink

Then
we
should
get

Another
drink

And
finally
put

This
flirtatious
thing

Between
us
both

To
bed

6

A Waste Of Money

Dearly
beloved

We
are
gathered
here
today

To
witness
this
couple’s
happiness

We
must
remember,
of course,

That
in a
year
they’ll be
divorced

And
we’ll
have
forgotten
all this
sappiness

27

It Takes All Sorts

Sometimes
I wish
I was
normal

But
then
I remember
nobody is

And how
thankful
I am
for that

Otherwise
life would
be boring
as shit

11

Swipe Left

Love
might
be in
the air

But
so is
COVID
19

We’re
living
in a
pandemic

You
prick

What
you’re
proposing
is obscene

35

Only Joking

You’d
think it
would
take
some
effort

To
write
as
much
as
this

Well
please
don’t
think
me
arrogant

But
it’s
really
a piece
of piss

17

Waxworks

You
can’t
hold a
candle
to him

She
said

You’ll
never
know
how
we felt

I wouldn’t
go near
him with
a naked
flame

He
said

For
fear
that he
would
melt

6

Too Late

You
only
want
me
now

Because
he
says
he
does

Well
you
had
your
chance

But
you
rebuffed
my
advance

So go
jump
in front
of a
bus

17

Fuck Buddies

I
won’t
always
be
here,
you
know

For
when
you
feel
the
need
to
ask

Not
while
there
are
more
dicks
to
blow

And
other
glows
in
which
to
bask

12

Road Trip

Shall
we
run
away

She
said

To
where
we can
both
be free?

You
don’t
have
to ask
me twice

He
said

I’ll
go fetch
the car
key

14

Self Portrait #1

Both a rhymer and a charmer

She only sticks around for drama

Writing with a screw loose or two

She isn’t scared of an expletive or few

Mourning the loss of her true love

She knows there’s no-one up above

Kind, caring and empathetic

She isn’t very sympathetic

Often scathing but often witty

She has a penchant for the nitty gritty

Sometimes joking sometimes smart

She weeps with her broken heart

Enamoured with music, wine and song

She knows with those she can’t go wrong

26

Middle-Aged Spread

Perhaps
I’ve
just
run out
of luck

Or
maybe
I don’t
give a
fuck

Either
way
it
doesn’t
matter

I must
accept
I’m
getting
fatter

10

Old Hat

You’ve
been
on my
mind
today

More
than
any
other
time

If only
it had
inspired
something
epic

And
not this
fucking
awful
rhyme

18

Precipice

Grab
onto
this

He
said

It’ll
be
fine

It’s
one
I made
myself

I’m
not
sure

She
said

It
might
not be
safe

I’ve
seen
you
put
up a
shelf

4

Just Saying

Focus
on what
you can
control

And
leave
behind
what
you
can’t

That
way
you’ll
find
Bob’s
your
uncle

And
Fanny
really
is your
Aunt

20

A Love Quadrangle

It
should
be
me

Said
man
number
one

I’ve
been
here
from
the
start

It
should
be
me

Said
man
number
two

I’d
never
break
her
heart

It
should
be
me

Said
man
number
three

I
see
her
playful
side

Please,
stop
arguing
boys

She
said

You
couldn’t
handle
me if
you
tried!

27

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