Tag: Grieving

Car Trouble

Nothing makes this better

Everything makes it worse

A body straining in first gear

And a mind stuck in reverse

22

Only You

With my
heart
in my
mouth

And my
head
in my
hands

It saddens
me to realise

That no one
understands

6

Mourning

Darkness
casts a
shadow
over my
head

As it
does
over
my
heart

Thoughts
and
dreams
of you
abound

As does
sorrow
that we
had to
part

11

At A Bedside, Desolate

There
is no
more
hope.

There
are no
more
dreams.

My life
continues
to fall apart
at the seams,

As I
lie here
thinking
of you.

Wondering
what the fuck
I’m supposed
to do.

Now.

1

Conversations With Hades

Tell him
this pill is
too bitter
to swallow

Tell him
we still
have time
to borrow

Tell him
I’ll never
cope with
the sorrow

Tell him if
he takes you
to expect
me tomorrow

5

Home Alone

It’s Friday night

And I’m here alone

In this house

We used to call home

There’s nothing left now

Just an empty shell

With me here alone

Living through hell

14

Wall Art

I can’t
look at
your
photos
anymore

They make
my heart
too heavy
and my eyes
too sore

6

The Trade Off

It is with a heavy heart

And a mournful sigh

That the time has come

To say our goodbye

I’ll always be eternally grateful

For everything you’ve done

Your love has taken away my pain

And left me with none

4

Without You

Life is
just so
shit
without
you

I’ve got
nothing
left to
hold
on to

If
only
you were
still
here

Then I’d
have
nothing
left
to fear

2

Witchcraft

I thought
talking
would make
it easier

But if
anything
it’s made
it worse

It seems
there’s
nothing
I can do

To rid
myself
of this
curse

3

Sunrise

I woke
up crying
again today

So much so
I struggled
to breathe

How much
longer must
I endure this?

When is
there an end
to this grief?

10

Happy

I
miss
you,

I
miss
us,

I wish we
could just
go back,

To
how it
was

Before
all
of this.

Before
things turned
to shit

And we
were
happy.

Because
we were
happy.

I
was
happy.

Wasn’t I?

4

I Can’t Tell You

I can’t
tell
you
how
much
better
I feel

To
know my
feelings
I need
no
longer
conceal

I
can’t
tell you
how much
more open
I am
now

To the
possibility
of loving
someone
again,
someday,
somehow

7

Your Birthday

Yesterday
we
remembered
you.

Together,
in this
city, just
us two.

We laughed,
and smoked
and drank
too much beer.

Both of us
wishing you
were still
fucking here.

Xxx

2

That

It’s
just not
right

That you
won’t be
here when
I look
tonight

It’s
just not
fair

That I’ll
reach for
your hand
and it won’t
be there

4

Pout

It
hurts
to smile

After
a
while

So you
start
to pout

As your
insides
turn out

2

Your Shirt

I still have it.

Your shirt.

I can feel it.

I can smell it.

I just wish you were still here.

Wearing it.

9

A Hard Week

Now that
the darkness
has descended

All my
happiness
has ended

Deep into
my soul
I have delved

And all
future plans
I have shelved

8

The Black Dog

When I heard
the black dog
barking outside

I knew I had
nowhere left
to hide

When I heard
the black dog
at my door

I knew I didn’t
have the strength
to fight anymore

Now I hear
the black dog
on my shoulder

All I feel
is relief
that it’s over

5

That Day

I’m scared
of what
that day
will bring,

As I
know it’s
approaching
fast.

Even if
it’s the
start of
my future,

There’s no
way of
forgetting
my past.

8

The Robbery

Your illness
robbed you
of your life

And it
robbed me
of my mind

Your death
still cuts me
like a knife

So to
madness I’m
now inclined

11

Lovers Reunited

If I
can’t have
the one
that’s gone
then I’ll
just wait
out here,
alone,
until there
is an end
to this pain
and our
hearts can
beat together
again

2

Missing Kisses

I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I kiss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I kiss you
I miss you
I kiss you
I miss you
I kiss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
so much

4

Not Long Now

Each day
brings another
false hope

And an earth
shattering
new low

I’m really just
biding my
time now

Waiting
until it’s my
turn to go

0

Out With A Bang

What is this
stabbing pain
in my chest?

Why is it
causing me
such unrest?

Fingers
crossed it’s
a heart attack

Then I
can leave
this place

And never
have to
come back

8

Left

I
missed you
again today

Everyone
else had
gone away

And it was
just me
here alone

Crying for
the love
I had once
known

9

Speechless

There is so much
I want to tell you

So many things
I want to share

But my tears flow
all over again

When I realise
you’re not there

3

The Burden

If
only
I knew
what to do

I
would
not be so
reliant on you

If
only
I knew
how to grieve

It
would be
so much easier
to let you leave

If
only
I knew
who to be

I’d
thank you
for your help
then set you free

0

Pretty Sure

I’ll look again,
if you like,
but I’m pretty
sure there’s none.

Fun, happiness,
joy, laughter,
I’m pretty sure
they’ve gone.

0

The Back of the Wardrobe

I foolishly
made a
mistake
today

I opened
the box
I’d hidden
away

Where the
memories of
my life
are kept

Along with
all the silent
tears I’ve
wept

0

Not Today

No-one can shield me,
from this pain within.

Nothing can soothe me,
now the rot has set in.

4

Week 34

You all think
I’ve forgotten,
but you
have no idea.

I could never
be that tasteless,
or so fucking
insincere.

6

The Trip

I’m done
with
this shithole
today

I’m packing
up and
running
away

Far
from where
the sun
can catch me

And to where
the pleasure
of pain
distracts me

0

When Will It End?

Biting my nails
until they bleed,
doesn’t give me
the relief I need.

Scratching my skin
until it’s breaking,
doesn’t stop my
heart from aching.

When will it end,
this pain I’m feeling?
When does it stop,
when do I start healing?

0

Leftovers

A weary,
confused mind.

A hollow,
empty heart.

As bleak as it is,
it’s all I have.

As my life has
fallen apart.

0

Incurable

Grief is like
an incurable
disease.

Taunting
your
thoughts.

Decimating
your
desire.

Liquidating
your
love.

6

Options

I am amazed, yet again, that I’ve found the courage to get out of bed.

You have no idea how hard it is.

This sustained internal struggle.

The conscious effort required to motivate myself to move.

The strength of belief needed to convince my anxious brain that we can get through the day unscathed.

It’s exhausting.

If only I could return to the naivety of the past.

Travel back to a time when sadness was mere affectation.

Where melancholy was a comforting friend.

And death wasn’t such a viable option.

0

Happier

Perhaps we’d
have been
happier
as strangers,

For never
having met.

Perhaps we’d
have been
happier
as strangers,

With nothing
to regret.

2

How Are You?

It’s easier to say I’m alright, rather then I’m anxious.

It’s easier to say I’m okay, rather than I’m outraged.

It’s easier to say I’m better, rather than I’m broken.

It’s easier to say I’m good, rather than I’m grieving.

It’s easier to say I’m well, rather than I’m wasted.

It’s easier to say I’m fine, rather than I’m fucked.

0

At All

I reach
for your hand,
but it’s not there,
and further into
the abyss
I fall.

I search
for your face,
but no one cares,
and it’s like you
were never here
at all.

0

5am

Stomach lurching,
Bones aching,
Head pounding,
Heart breaking,

Waking up is never easy.

0

Missing

I miss
the conversations
we’ll never have.

I miss
the places
we’ll never go.

I miss
the love
we’ll never make.

I miss
the memories
we’ll never share

2

The Corner of My Eye

I thought I saw you today.

Twice.

The first, when you were waiting to cross the road.

The second, when you were ahead of me in the queue at the post office.

It was only when you turned around, and I saw your face, that I realised it wasn’t you.

And I remembered, with a desperate ache, why it could never be you.

And I cried again today.

Twice.

6

I Love You

If I met you again,
For the first time,
I wouldn’t change a thing.

I’d do it all again,
Exactly the same,
Taking you under my wing.

But I should have,
if I could have,
told you that
I loved you
more.

Perhaps then
my life now
wouldn’t be
so difficult
to endure.

0

The Reverse

I’ve never felt happiness,
I don’t know what it is.

I’ve never seen happiness
But I’m sure that it’s not this.

0

Commitment

You were
always so
terrified
that I
would leave.

When,
after all
was said
and done,
I was the
only one
who stayed.

2

Round the Bend

Does it make me crazy,
if I turn and talk to you anyway?

Does it make me insane,
if I see you when you’re not there?

Does it make me nuts,
if I know you’re always with me?

Does it make me mad,
if I still care?

0

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