Tag: hiding

Clocking In

Never

Do I feel this more

Than each time I walk

Through that door

Sown Up

I don’t feel better.

I haven’t forgotten.

I’ve just stopped telling you,

How I feel.

(Originally Posted 15.12.2020)

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“The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name”

If anything was found

To be written down

They’d hang us both the same

So we must stay indoors

Until the laws

That seek to divide us are changed

Significant Others

Why oh
why can’t
you write
such
poetry
for me?

For our
love is
forbidden
and so
could
never be!

(Originally Posted 23.11.2019)

2

‘You Can’t Handle The Truth’

If you were to see

Who I am inside

You would simply run

Away and hide

It’s not as though

I have ever lied

But to quell the beast

I’ve always tried

Hidden

There’s
so much
of me

You
never
see

So many
things
I do

That are
hidden
from view

I know you
won’t believe
it’s true

But it’s
my way of
protecting you

(Originally Posted 22.09.2019)

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The Mask

I have just gone back

To pretending now

Convincing you that I

Am worth it, somehow

I’ve worked too hard

To let it go to waste

As this persona has taken

A lifetime to create

The Truth

If you
knew
the
truth
about me

You
would
run
away
and hide

You
wouldn’t
waste
another
minute

On
someone
so
rotten
inside

(Originally Posted 13.09.2019)

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Especially At Work

I used to hide

So much back then

I’m amazed I got through the day

Reading this I remember

How exhausted I was

Pretending that I was okay

Secret Anxiety

Sickness grows

Frustration shows

Conversation slows

But no one knows

(Originally Posted 28.09.2019)

2

Not Spoiling Things

Pretending I was fine

On that trip

Was just something

I needed to do

So I wiped my eyes

And stifled my cries

In the tent

Next door to you

Camping

The warmth of the sun on your face,

The anticipation of a road trip with friends,

The promise of tall tales around the campfire.

It’s the little things that bring the most joy.

(Originally Posted 28.06.2019)

5

Persona(l)

I’m
glad
I don’t
give
much
away

As if
I did,
you’d
never
come
back

Self Esteem

There’s
nothing
more
disheartening

That
brings
me
consternation
and
strife

Than
to find
I’m
more
captivating

On
the
page

Than
I could
ever be
in real life

(Originally Posted 07.06.2020)

7

Falling Short

The reality

That is me

Rarely lives up

To the promise

That is why

I will always hide

If I am

Brutally honest

Fervour

I have written

All the words I need

Now I just have to press send

But as my finger hovers

I am scared

That our time together

Will end

(Originally Posted 10.05.2020)

2

Disingenuous

You hide behind

All that shit you post

But you and I both know

You’re far more inclined

Someone else to quote

Than for your own thoughts to show

Blocked

Your
platitudes
irritate
me every
day

That’s
it

That’s
all
I wanted
to
say

(Originally Posted 05.05.2020)

9

The Human Shield

Did I really

Dodge that bullet

Or just hide

Behind you instead

I guess now

We’ll never know

As I’m alive

And you’re dead

27

A Heart Of Darkness

You can wear

Flowers in your hair

Use your words

So elegantly

But it matters not

I couldn’t care a jot

For you’ll always be ugly

To me

19

On Borrowed Time

You can sit there all you want

My friend

Picking at your thumbs

But you and I know

How this will end

When the day of reckoning comes

9

Finally

I wonder what you’ll all say,

When I finally go away.

I wonder what you’ll all think,

When off into the shadows I slink.

I wonder if you’ll all stop and stare,

When you finally realise I’m no longer there.

(Originally Posted 25.06.2019)

13

Ignorance

You think you know me so well

Yet you haven’t got a clue

For if you did

You’d see how I hid

All that I was from you

29

Sown Up

I don’t feel better

I haven’t forgotten

I’ve just stopped telling you

How I feel

12

Deceit

Lying to
myself
is bad
enough

But
lying
to you
hurts
more

But
there’s
no way
I could
be truthful

That’s
for
fucking
sure

2

Anhedonic

Trying
hard
to
survive

This
thing
called
life

Hoping
to fend
off the
madness

Striving
so
much
to find

Heartening
peace
of
mind

Hiding
under my
duvet of
sadness

4

Achilles H(eel)

Lingering
on the
ocean floor

Lurking
in the
starkness

This is
where we
both belong

Hidden
amongst
the darkness

4

For Our Own Good

You never
see the
worst of
my illness
because
I hide it
from you

For you
to know
the truth
about me
would just
tear me
in two

So I’ll
paint
on a
smile and
pretend
that I’m
fine

For
doing so
protects
both
your
sanity
and mine

6

The Self Pity Party

So many nights I’ve cried,

Feeling dead inside,

Whilst wrestling with my neurosis.

I can’t help but discern,

Despite all your supposed care and concern,

That you haven’t even noticed.

8

Bleak As Fuck

I
told you
a lie
yesterday

I said
I felt better
and that I
am okay

When the
actual truth
is I hope
and pray

That I
won’t live
to see
another day

18

The Truth

If you
knew
the
truth
about me

You
would
run
away
and hide

You
wouldn’t
waste
another
minute

On
someone
so
rotten
inside

2

Apologies

I’m sorry I act like I don’t care,

I’m sorry it seems like I’m rarely there.

I’m sorry it looks like I don’t even try,

I’m sorry that you’ve never see me cry.

I’m sorry I never appear in a hurry,

I’m sorry I always make you worry.

I’m sorry I can’t be who you want me to be.

But most of all I’m just sorry for being me.

4

Grey Days

I love
walking
on grey days.

The raindrops
land on my face
and mingle with
my tears,

Hiding them
from prying
eyes.

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