I
scroll
through
your words
And
realise
mine don’t
compare
For
you all
write so
beautifully
Whereas
I splurge
without
a care
"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
I
scroll
through
your words
And
realise
mine don’t
compare
For
you all
write so
beautifully
Whereas
I splurge
without
a care
I
can
only
hope
I’m
worth
the
wait
Isn’t
it
funny
How
the
world
turns
And
yet
deep
inside
My
heart
still
burns
For
another
chance
At
somekind
of
romance
With
someone
Other
than
you
How long
Must I wait
For salvation?
Drunkenly
wishing
upon a
star
Won’t
make my
dreams
come true
For he’ll
never be
able to
love me
Half as
much as
he loved
you
A little
bit moreOf me
diesEach time
I realiseThat it’s
neverGoing to
be you
It’s all just so wrong
This shouldn’t be happening to you
Not as it hasn’t been that long
Since it happened to me too
I’m not sure how to act
And I’m not sure what to say
For there’s nothing on earth that can take the pain
Of what is to come away
Still here
Still sore
Still hoping
For more
I remember
watching this,
The first
time around.
When I
was young,
And
fearless,
And my energy
knew no bounds.
I thought I
could be anyone,
And achieve all
of my dreams.
But twenty five
years later,
I know This Life is
not what it seems.
It was
exactly
one year
ago
That we
were all
sat in
that tent
But there
was only
one who
truly
listened
To my
broken
hearted
lament
From that
day we’ve
kept in
touch
Developing
connections
of our
own
That’s
because
you chose
both of us
To reap
from the
seeds you
had sown
There
will
come
a time
when
it’s
over
Of
that
there
is no
doubt
But
until
then
I’ll
keep on
dreaming
About
things
between
us
working
out
Can you
see me?For I can
see youBelieve it
or notBut I know
it’s true
I wish
it was
different
for you
She
said
And things
didn’t have
to be
this way
Don’t
you
worry
about me
He
said
I’m sure
I’ll live
to fight
another day
All
hope
is
over
Reason
has
been
lost
The
buffoon
is
back
But
at
what
cost?
You
were
here
last
timeI
clearly
remember
your
smilePerhaps
leaving
the
house
todayMight
yet
prove
to be
worthwhile
In a
different
timeAt a
different
placeThe
answer
would
stare
usRight
in the
face
Hope.
The
ultimate
disappointment.
One by
one the
leaves
have
fallenAnd I
can no
longer
see your
shadowI
suppose
it is
Autumn
after allAnd all
hope
I must
now
forego
So it’s off
out of the
country
againLeaving
my
troubles
behindPerhaps
I’ll find
happiness
againOr at
least
peace
of mind
I can be
with you,
she said,
when my
sadness no
longer showsThen we
will go to
a place,
he said,
where no one
else knows
Do you
ever think
of meIn those
moments
you have spareDo you
ever
dreamOf running
your fingers
through my hairDo you ever
imagine how
it would feelIf you
held your
hand in mineDo you ever
long to look
into my eyesAnd feel
our souls
entwine
Shower me
with your kisses
And I’ll
leave my
troubles behind
Show me what
my heart misses
And I’ll
be sure to
respond in kind
I can’t
tell
you
how
much
better
I feel
To
know my
feelings
I need
no
longer
conceal
I
can’t
tell you
how much
more open
I am
now
To the
possibility
of loving
someone
again,
someday,
somehow
She stops
and sighs
as he
implores
her to stay
But I don’t
think you can
help me,
she says,
turning away
He looks
and smiles
as he
reaches for
her hand
Just trust
me, he says,
for your
wish is my
command
If I
can’t have
the one
that’s gone
then I’ll
just wait
out here,
alone,
until there
is an end
to this pain
and our
hearts can
beat together
again
It’s time
to put you
back in
your boxTo fasten
the lid
and change
the locksI cannot
continue
down this
pathFor if I
do there
is no way
back
Why isn’t
it me,
she asks,Why can’t
it be us?For I
already
love another,
he says,As her
dreams
crumble
to dust.
Off on
my travels
again
Hoping to
find some
peace
Perhaps I’ll
meet someone
new
And this
heartache will
cease
I never used to be like this, she said,
I used to be brave.
What happened to you, he asked,
Why did you cave?
The world happened, she replied,
You wouldn’t understand.
Why don’t you try me, he implored,
As he reached for her hand.
I thought I saw you today.
Twice.
The first, when you were waiting to cross the road.
The second, when you were ahead of me in the queue at the post office.
It was only when you turned around, and I saw your face, that I realised it wasn’t you.
And I remembered, with a desperate ache, why it could never be you.
And I cried again today.
Twice.
Another day of pretence dawns,
And my heart is full of dread.
Another chasm in my mind yawns,
And I wish that I was dead.
One day
you’ll tell me
and I
will run away.
One day
you’ll tell me
and I’ll
beg to stay.
One day
you’ll tell me
and my
tears will sting.
One day
you’ll tell me
and my
heart will sing.
You have no idea,
How much your sideways glance,
Hauls my weary heart,
Through yet another,
Lonely day…
Beer…
maintaining the great divide
between dreams and reality…since 1993.
Enough of you
is
too much
Too much of you
is
never enough
Still hoping,
Still waiting,
Still holding,
Still wanting.Still thinking,
Still grieving,
Still trying,
Still giving.Still caring,
Still feeling,
Still crying,
Still fighting.Still breathing,
Still living,
Still believing,
Still loving.
I wish I believed.
It’s heartening to see those of faith comforted from words set down so many years ago.
It’s uplifting to hear the voices of the choir soar alongside such stirring melody.
It’s inspiring to gaze in wonder at those beautifully stained glass windows like so many before me.
Truly.
But I don’t believe. In anyone or anything.
I’m not sure if I lack the inclination or imagination. Or both.
I am glad there are those that can be lifted from their darkest moments by the arms their God.
Sadly, the only person who will rescue me…is me.
And I’m not sure I have the strength.
If I survive this
it will be a miracle.
But I don't believe in God,
Sadly.
It was quite nice talking to you last night.
I was able to forget, for a moment, that my heart is broken.
It felt good to laugh, to smile, to dance.
I thought I'd forgotten how to do those things.
I'm glad we randomly met last night.
But I'm also glad you left when you did.
Now I have the memory of our open ending,
To help mend my grieving heart.
Your words help guide my wayward step
and shine light in to my darkened heart
Your smile breaks my fall to the kitchen floor
and stems the tears in my haunted eyes
Your touch quietens the incessant voice in my head
and replenishes my embittered soul
You allow me to believe that love might be possible again
One day
She remembers she is hungry. She shoves a hand inside the leg of her boot.
Nothing.
She finds herself in Blythswood Square. The shadowy figure approaches her, but she is not afraid. It’s the fourth one tonight.
‘Twenty quid with’ she replies, ‘Twenty five without’.
She leads him down the darkened alley. Still, she is not afraid. He won’t last. They never do.
She reaches for the tissues from her pocket and wipes between her legs. She drops them to the ground as she slides the twenty pound note down into her boot. She puts the fiver inside her bra.
She strides down to Queen Street Station and pays the fifty pence to use the loo. It feels good to wash the stains from her body.
She ambles back up towards Sauchiehall Street to her favourite take away. She eats two slices of pizza with extra jalapenos, hoping to burn the taste of the men from her throat.
She stands outside, smokes a cigarette, and wonders what to do. She trudges back towards Blythswood Square.
Just two more, she thinks. Two more and I can go home.
What I wouldn’t give to be creative
and be able to express it.
What I wouldn’t give
isn’t worth knowing about.
She leans against the window
She rests her head in her hand
She smiles
She wonders if you are the one
The one who she can allow those feelings for again
She leans against the window
She rests her head in her hand
She smiles
She knows
It's pointless