Bridges

On those days

When I feel depressed

And I can’t carry on

Or hope for the best

I know to avoid

The great outdoors

As they’d end up scraping me

Off the floor


You Have Been Warned

I’m
too
scared
to go
out
today

For
the
dark
thoughts
haven’t
gone away

I’m
worried
I’m so
far into
this
slump

That
I may
well
just
decide
to
jump

(Originally Posted 09.02.2020)

Care Planning

Suffice it to say

If I had my way

There’d be no fucking risk assessment

I don’t need protecting

Despite your objecting

As in life I have no investment


999

God
knows
why I
didn’t
wake up
dead

Or why
I didn’t
think
to plan
this far
ahead

(Originally Posted 27.01.2020)

Deploy The Safety Net

Remove the paracetamol

And hide the razor blades

As I feel like shit

Again today

So you need to take the reins


The Daily Struggle

I went back to bed

Three times today

To try to dream

This pain away

Yet it didn’t work

So now I’m awake

Do I have any choice

But my life to take?

(Originally Posted 16.11.2020)

Fuck Depression

This is what depression does

It strips you bare until life becomes

Just too much to contemplate.

So you lie there alone

Isolated at home

And accept what you feel is fate.

Meanwhile everyone else

Is worried about you.

Totally clueless

As to how to help you.

Ultimately nobody wins.

So fuck depression,

And all that it brings.


In My Eyes

No one
sees
me as
anything
more

Than a
sad and
lonely
depressed
old bore

A pathetic
waste of
space for
sure

Just
another
nuisance
to ignore

(Originally Posted 14.11.2019)

Lowering Expectations

I’ve felt this way

For some time now

And yet I still plod on

Perhaps this is just

My normal now

And it’s hoping for more that’s wrong


Zestless

Finally
dropping
into
bed

Knowing
I couldn’t
have done
any more

There is
no point
in setting
an alarm

As
there’s
nothing
to wake
up for

(Originally Posted 24.10.2020)

Waking Thoughts

And so to yet

Another day

Resisting

The urge to cry

In a body

That is fighting

Hard to survive

But with a mind

That wants to die

Out Of My Hands

There wouldn’t be any problem

If I didn’t wake up tomorrow

At least I wouldn’t be in pain

Or suffocating in this sorrow

The End Of The Road

Pretending gets tiring

After a while

So in the end you stop

With no cylinders left firing

And an inibility to smile

It’s back up to that rooftop

Namesake

Well that’s me back

In the doldrums again

Months of progress

Down the drain

I can no longer be bothered

With any motivation to find

For it’s clear now nothing will fix

This fragile mind of mine

Even My Tissues Have Issues

Will there ever come a day

When I won’t feel so sad

What the hell did I do

That was so fucking bad

All I ever wanted

Was to live a life free from pain

And yet it seems I am destined

To walk forever in the rain

Leave Me Alone

Although the walls

Are closing in

I’ve no desire

To leave

I don’t understand

Why you find that

So fucking hard

To believe

Happy Place

Take me back

To the sea

For it is where

I need to be

But please don’t think

That just because

You’ve emptied my pockets

It’ll be enough to stop it

For in the end

It will just be me

Sinking deep down

Into the depths of the sea

Sprung

The beast has crept back in again

She’s beaten down my door

And there was me

Thinking foolishly

I wouldn’t need pills anymore

Vanished

With no idea what this shit means

I’ve fallen apart at the seams

Hidden behind these opaque screens

I only exist now in my dreams

The Daily Struggle

I went back to bed

Three times today

To try to dream

This pain away

But it didn’t work

And now I’m awake

Do I have any choice

But my life to take?

Afflicted

Wandered
around
again
today

With
an all
consuming
sigh

Not
knowing
how to
live

Yet
too
afraid
to die

The Dead Of Night

The
dark
nights
are
drawing
in

And
there’s
some
comfort
in that

For
when
I finally
slink
away

They
won’t
know
I’m not
coming
back

Hidden Harm

I killed
myself
today,
you know

And
no one
noticed
a thing

For
everyone
was far
too busy

To
care
about my
suffering

Shotgun

At
this
point
I’ll
try
anything

She
said

It
can’t
do any
harm

Then
you
should
take
this
one

He
said

It’ll
work
like a
charm

Into The Sea…

When I was told

What did unfold

I’ll admit that

I was envious

For you achieved

Of what I dream

As my will to live

Is tenuous

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