Personality #3

I see you there

With your vacant stare

Drowning in infinite sadness

But never fear

I’ll alway be here

Trying to sweep away your madness

The Old Crone

Please

She said

Pay me no mind

And try not think of me unkind

For I am

She said

To madness inclined

And peace I can no longer find

The Faceless Female

She’s back again,
the little control freak,
whispering from my shoulder.

She never really goes away,
despite my efforts to brush her aside
or however much I grow older.

I’ve never once turned to look
at her whilst I try hard to
drown out her speech.

But I never forget
she’s there, berating me,
and bleeding me like a leech.

(Originally Posted 04.08.2019)

Self Worth

I’d give you my heart,
But it’s not worth me trying

I’d give you my body,
But it’s not worth your touch

I’d give you my soul,
But it’s not worth my crying

I’d give you my life,
But it’s not worth very much

(Originally Posted 19.04.2019)

Finally

I wonder what you’ll all say,

When I finally go away.

I wonder what you’ll all think,

When off into the shadows I slink.

I wonder if you’ll all stop and stare,

When you finally realise I’m no longer there.

(Originally Posted 25.06.2019)

Queen

Even though

It’s still a shit show

It must go on,

I suppose

(Originally Posted 22.03.2019)

This Silent War

I’m trapped inside this silent war

Furiously waving a white flag above my head

But no one seems to care

One day soon

I’ll stop trying

(Originally Posted 14.04.2019)

Tiredness

I already want to go back to sleep

And I haven’t even woken up yet

(Originally Posted 08.04.2019)

Hold Tight

That roof is calling my name.

I know it is.

I can hear it.

Every day its voice gets louder and louder.

Every day I’m drawn closer and closer.

I went up there tonight.

Just to the edge.

Just to look.

I held on to the safety rail.

I cannot promise that tomorrow,

I won’t let go.

(Originally Posted 26.03.2019)

A Helping Hand

Although
we have
now come
to an end

Your help
to me
has been
a godsend

Even
though
my heart
you could
not mend

You’ve
stopped
me from
going round
the bend

Anhedonic

Trying
hard
to
survive

This
thing
called
life

Hoping
to fend
off the
madness

Striving
so
much
to find

Heartening
peace
of
mind

Hiding
under my
duvet of
sadness

Nothing

Nothing makes
me happy

Nothing makes
me smile

There’s nothing left
to look forward to

Nothing that
feels worthwhile

Regime #7

I think
these pills
have
stopped
working

They
have
become
just a
token

For
they no
longer
take away
the hurting

From a
heart
that is
already
broken

(A) Pathetic

Here

Another
pill

Now
just
stay
still

Don’t
dare
scratch
that
itch

You’ll
just
pull
out
another
stitch

Then
once
again
you
will
bleed
everywhere

And
I
will
have
to
pretend
I
care

Disruption

For a moment
there I was
feeling good

Living my
life the way
I should

And then you
wander back
into my mind

And all sense
of peace is
left behind

8.05pm

I can’t
be arsed
with any
more today

I’m just
going
to go
to bed

At least
that way I
might get
some respite

From the
voices
inside
my head

Epitaph

Do you
ever wish
you could
give up?

Say right,
that’s it,
I’ve had
enough!

I’m done
with all
this fucking
shit

I’m finally
going
through
with it!

Well,
that’s what
I think
every day

I find
those words
so easy
to say

And now,
it seems,
the demons
have won

For I can
say that I’m
officially
done

Waiting For Death

Time
eventually
takes it toll

On our
bodies and
our minds

Should we
take that
daily stroll

Or just
sit on our
behinds?

DIY

I wish
I could
sleep

But I
simply
can’t
relax

I just don’t
have the
strength
to keep

Painting
over the
cracks

Leech

I
don’t
owe
you a
penny

But
you
sure
owe
me

For
putting
food in
your
belly

And
living
in my
head
rent free

Buried

No one
ever
loved me
like you

And now
I’ve lost
it all

So with
no one
left to
turn to

Towards
the hole
I crawl

Better Off Dead

Sometimes
I
wonder,

Is
this all
there is?

Just
boredom,
emptiness

And your
endless
bullshit?

I couldn’t
think of
anything
nicer,

Than to be
somewhere
else
instead.

Far from
all the
anxiety
and pain,

And your
words
plaguing
my head.

Disclaimer

I think it’s finally happened

I’ve actually gone mental

Any similarly to actual persons

(Alive or dead)

Is purely coincidental

Up ↑