She’s back again,
the little control freak,
whispering from my shoulder.She never really goes away,
despite my efforts to brush her aside
or however much I grow older.I’ve never once turned to look
at her whilst I try hard to
drown out her speech.But I never forget
she’s there, berating me,
and bleeding me like a leech.(Originally Posted 04.08.2019)
Self Worth
I’d give you my heart,
But it’s not worth me tryingI’d give you my body,
But it’s not worth your touchI’d give you my soul,
But it’s not worth my cryingI’d give you my life,
But it’s not worth very much(Originally Posted 19.04.2019)
Finally
I wonder what you’ll all say,
When I finally go away.
I wonder what you’ll all think,
When off into the shadows I slink.
I wonder if you’ll all stop and stare,
When you finally realise I’m no longer there.
(Originally Posted 25.06.2019)
Queen
Even though
It’s still a shit show
It must go on,
I suppose
(Originally Posted 22.03.2019)
This Silent War
I’m trapped inside this silent war
Furiously waving a white flag above my head
But no one seems to care
One day soon
I’ll stop trying
(Originally Posted 14.04.2019)
Tiredness
I already want to go back to sleep
And I haven’t even woken up yet
(Originally Posted 08.04.2019)
Hold Tight
That roof is calling my name.
I know it is.
I can hear it.
Every day its voice gets louder and louder.
Every day I’m drawn closer and closer.
I went up there tonight.
Just to the edge.
Just to look.
I held on to the safety rail.
I cannot promise that tomorrow,
I won’t let go.
(Originally Posted 26.03.2019)
A Helping Hand
Although
we have
now come
to an end
Your help
to me
has been
a godsend
Even
though
my heart
you could
not mend
You’ve
stopped
me from
going round
the bend
Free For All
Life
is full
of false
starts
and
dead
endsThe
trick
is to
bail out
before
delirium
descends
Anhedonic
Trying
hard
to
survive
This
thing
called
life
Hoping
to fend
off the
madness
Striving
so
much
to find
Heartening
peace
of
mind
Hiding
under my
duvet of
sadness
Nothing
Nothing makes
me happy
Nothing makes
me smile
There’s nothing left
to look forward to
Nothing that
feels worthwhile
As Yet Undecided
Still
here
tryingYet
always
cryingMind
constantly
vyingBetween
living
and dying
Regime #7
I think
these pills
have
stopped
workingThey
have
become
just a
tokenFor
they no
longer
take away
the hurtingFrom a
heart
that is
already
broken
Strong Currents
I’m all
at seaBut no one
sees meGesticulating
wildlyAgainst
the tide
The Circus Is Back In Town
I wish
I spent
more time
sleeping
Instead
of all
this
weeping
It would
be nice to
do some
dreaming
As
opposed
to all this
screaming
(A) Pathetic
Here
Another
pillNow
just
stay
stillDon’t
dare
scratch
that
itchYou’ll
just
pull
out
another
stitchThen
once
again
you
will
bleed
everywhereAnd
I
will
have
to
pretend
I
care
Disruption
For a moment
there I was
feeling goodLiving my
life the way
I shouldAnd then you
wander back
into my mindAnd all sense
of peace is
left behind
This Mortal Coil
It’s finally time
To shuffle off
For of this life
I’ve had enough
Unfair
I never
get what
I wantLet alone
what I
deserve
8.05pm
I can’t
be arsed
with any
more todayI’m just
going
to go
to bedAt least
that way I
might get
some respiteFrom the
voices
inside
my head
Epitaph
Do you
ever wish
you could
give up?
Say right,
that’s it,
I’ve had
enough!
I’m done
with all
this fucking
shit
I’m finally
going
through
with it!
Well,
that’s what
I think
every day
I find
those words
so easy
to say
And now,
it seems,
the demons
have won
For I can
say that I’m
officially
done