The Faceless Female

She’s back again,
the little control freak,
whispering from my shoulder.

She never really goes away,
despite my efforts to brush her aside
or however much I grow older.

I’ve never once turned to look
at her whilst I try hard to
drown out her speech.

But I never forget
she’s there, berating me,
and bleeding me like a leech.

(Originally Posted 04.08.2019)

28/02/2021 17

Self Worth

I’d give you my heart,
But it’s not worth me trying

I’d give you my body,
But it’s not worth your touch

I’d give you my soul,
But it’s not worth my crying

I’d give you my life,
But it’s not worth very much

(Originally Posted 19.04.2019)

25/02/2021 18

Finally

I wonder what you’ll all say,

When I finally go away.

I wonder what you’ll all think,

When off into the shadows I slink.

I wonder if you’ll all stop and stare,

When you finally realise I’m no longer there.

(Originally Posted 25.06.2019)

23/02/2021 13

Queen

Even though

It’s still a shit show

It must go on,

I suppose

(Originally Posted 22.03.2019)

18/02/2021 7

This Silent War

I’m trapped inside this silent war

Furiously waving a white flag above my head

But no one seems to care

One day soon

I’ll stop trying

(Originally Posted 14.04.2019)

11/02/2021 7

Tiredness

I already want to go back to sleep

And I haven’t even woken up yet

(Originally Posted 08.04.2019)

11/02/2021 8

Hold Tight

That roof is calling my name.

I know it is.

I can hear it.

Every day its voice gets louder and louder.

Every day I’m drawn closer and closer.

I went up there tonight.

Just to the edge.

Just to look.

I held on to the safety rail.

I cannot promise that tomorrow,

I won’t let go.

(Originally Posted 26.03.2019)

04/02/2021 11

A Helping Hand

Although
we have
now come
to an end

Your help
to me
has been
a godsend

Even
though
my heart
you could
not mend

You’ve
stopped
me from
going round
the bend

16/02/2020 3

Free For All

Life
is full
of false
starts
and
dead
ends

The
trick
is to
bail out
before
delirium
descends

07/02/2020 0

Anhedonic

Trying
hard
to
survive

This
thing
called
life

Hoping
to fend
off the
madness

Striving
so
much
to find

Heartening
peace
of
mind

Hiding
under my
duvet of
sadness

06/01/2020 4

Nothing

Nothing makes
me happy

Nothing makes
me smile

There’s nothing left
to look forward to

Nothing that
feels worthwhile

28/12/2019 14

As Yet Undecided

Still
here
trying

Yet
always
crying

Mind
constantly
vying

Between
living
and dying

28/12/2019 7

Regime #7

I think
these pills
have
stopped
working

They
have
become
just a
token

For
they no
longer
take away
the hurting

From a
heart
that is
already
broken

23/12/2019 11

Strong Currents

I’m all
at sea

But no one
sees me

Gesticulating
wildly

Against
the tide

21/12/2019 4

The Circus Is Back In Town

I wish
I spent
more time
sleeping

Instead
of all
this
weeping

It would
be nice to
do some
dreaming

As
opposed
to all this
screaming

21/12/2019 8

(A) Pathetic

Here

Another
pill

Now
just
stay
still

Don’t
dare
scratch
that
itch

You’ll
just
pull
out
another
stitch

Then
once
again
you
will
bleed
everywhere

And
I
will
have
to
pretend
I
care