Tag: Madness

The Anniversary

It will
soon be
a year,
without
you here,
and I
don’t
know
what
to do.

For I’m
still
nowhere
near,
facing
my fear,
or the
reality
of losing
you.

Xxx

17

‘Handsome Devil’

There
was
once a
light

That
shone
in my
life

But
now it’s
sadly
gone out

For
I
have
found

Heroes
let
you
down

Of that
there
can be
doubt

17

Inevitability

I’m
not
sure

I can
give
any
more

I think
I’ll
have
to stop

There
is
nothing
left

Now
I’m
bereft

But to
wait
for the
other
shoe
to drop

12

A Little More

As I fall
apart
a little
more
each day

I wonder
if I’ll
always
feel
this way

How
much
lower
can I
sink?

Who will
pull me
back
from the
brink?

14

Harsh Truth

It can
be a
hard
lesson
to learn

When
you’re
at the
point of
no return

That
nobody
actually
gives
a shit

Whether
you decide
to stay
or to
end it

11

Moods

Ups and downs,

Peaks and troughs,

But the darkness?

That never stops…

7

The Self Pity Party

So many nights I’ve cried,

Feeling dead inside,

Whilst wrestling with my neurosis.

I can’t help but discern,

Despite all your supposed care and concern,

That you haven’t even noticed.

8

Self Sabotage

Fall in
love with
me all
you like

But don’t
think I
can love
you back

The
voices
inside
my head

Have long
since put
a stop
to that

6

Side Effects

If I
clench
my jaw,
anymore,
my teeth
will
crumble
to dust.

It’s so
unfair,
that for
my own
welfare,
these
tablets
are a must.

5

The Black

It’s only
when you
reach the
bottom

You
realise
there’s no
way back

You
know then
you’re too
far gone

But all
you can
see is
The Black

4

Purgatory

I guess that
only time will tell

How long I’ll spend
living in this hell

Waiting for
the axe to fall

Wondering when
to end it all

9

?

What did I do
to deserve this?

Why did this
happen to me?

Where will
I end up now?

Who is coming
to save me?

6

Only You

With my
heart
in my
mouth

And my
head
in my
hands

It saddens
me to realise

That no one
understands

6

Helpline

On the
day I
summon
the courage
to call

I know
you’ll be
there to
break
my fall

0

At A Bedside, Desolate

There
is no
more
hope.

There
are no
more
dreams.

My life
continues
to fall apart
at the seams,

As I
lie here
thinking
of you.

Wondering
what the fuck
I’m supposed
to do.

Now.

1

Forty Winks

Why do
I bother
coming
to bed

It’s not
like I
can
sleep

All I
do is
fucking
lie here

Overthinking
and
counting
sheep

0

Bleak As Fuck

I
told you
a lie
yesterday

I said
I felt better
and that I
am okay

When the
actual truth
is I hope
and pray

That I
won’t live
to see
another day

18

The Trouble With Juniper

Nobody
knows
the
trouble
I’ve seen

The loves
and the
losses and
everything
in-between

On one
too many
gin bottles
I have
relied

To keep
all of my
secrets
hidden
inside

3

A New Dawn

Everything
changed
when I
walked out
of there

The feel of
the breeze
and the
warmth
of the air

For once
in my life
I just
stopped
fighting

And I
suddenly
found life
much more
inviting

9

Run Like The Wind

After
every
high

There is
the inevitable
low

And she’s coming
for me again,
I know

I feel her
getting closer
and closer each day

And this time
she’s going
to make me pay

2

The Truth

If you
knew
the
truth
about me

You
would
run
away
and hide

You
wouldn’t
waste
another
minute

On
someone
so
rotten
inside

2

Yes Sir, No Sir

Okay,
okay,
I accept
defeat.

I’ll get up,
get dressed,
drink tea,
eat.

I’ll take
the pills
you say
I need.

I’ll be a
good girl
like we
agreed.

9

A Hard Week

Now that
the darkness
has descended

All my
happiness
has ended

Deep into
my soul
I have delved

And all
future plans
I have shelved

8

The Black Dog

When I heard
the black dog
barking outside

I knew I had
nowhere left
to hide

When I heard
the black dog
at my door

I knew I didn’t
have the strength
to fight anymore

Now I hear
the black dog
on my shoulder

All I feel
is relief
that it’s over

5

Sleep Is Futile

What’s the
point in
going to bed

With all
this shit
inside my head

It’s not
like I’ll be
allowed to rest

With this
sickness deep
inside my chest

4

Tuesday

I called in sick for work today.

My heart just couldn’t come out to play.

All I’ve done is lie in bed

Filled with thoughts of fear and dread.

With nausea consuming every movement,

My mood shows no sign of improvement.

I hate existing like this.

Full of anger, self loathing and all that shit.

I wonder how much more emotion can I conceal

Before I decide to end it all for real

6

Not Long Now

Each day
brings another
false hope

And an earth
shattering
new low

I’m really just
biding my
time now

Waiting
until it’s my
turn to go

0

Sham(e)

I got
bored of
this shit
a long
time ago

These
endless
tales of
sadness
and woe

With eyes
that burn
from the
tears that
flow

I loathe
myself
more than
you’ll
ever know

11

Out With A Bang

What is this
stabbing pain
in my chest?

Why is it
causing me
such unrest?

Fingers
crossed it’s
a heart attack

Then I
can leave
this place

And never
have to
come back

8

Soon

Life
has been
so much better
without
your bullshit
in it

Now
I know
for sure
I’ll soon be
removing you
from it

3

Reassured

The relief
is palpable

My anxiety
is pacified

Our normality
is restored

Thank fuck
you replied

0

Power

I’ve walked
along
this road
before

Feeling
lonely
and
insecure

At least
this time
I know
for sure

You
cannot
hurt me
anymore

9

08.08

So it’s another birthday

And what a day it has been

If I’d have known last year

What I know now

I would have jacked it all in

But I suppose now it’s time

At this ripe old age

And much to my chagrin

To find a way of moving forward

And discover the strength within

7

Perpetual Brightness

This heat is exhausting,
It’s too much for me to bear.
My feet feel like they are on fire,
Sweat dripping from my hair.

I sit and pray for some relief,
Perhaps a cool calming breeze.
Something to help me ease the pain,
A salvation from this awful disease.

6

The Burden

If
only
I knew
what to do

I
would
not be so
reliant on you

If
only
I knew
how to grieve

It
would be
so much easier
to let you leave

If
only
I knew
who to be

I’d
thank you
for your help
then set you free

0

A Long Forty Eight Hours

If you stare
at the same four walls
for long enough,
a fifth can start
to appear.

Perhaps it’s then
you’re supposed to
realise that
the end is near.

If you stare
at the same four walls
for long enough,
your mind can
start to bend.

Perhaps it’s then
you’re supposed to
know it’s the
beginning of the end.

9

The Drudgery

Another
day spent
trudging
through
the
sludge
of life
still
refusing
to budge
forever
trying to
avoid the
judgement
of those
who secretly
hold a
grudge
against me

2

Careless

Waking up to find that,
once again,
I’ve lost my mind
at some point
during the night…

0

No Air

It’s too hot to think
as I sit here on the brink
of yet another nervous breakdown…

4

The Trip

I’m done
with
this shithole
today

I’m packing
up and
running
away

Far
from where
the sun
can catch me

And to where
the pleasure
of pain
distracts me

0

I Already Know

I already
know I’m
a piece
of shit

I don’t
need you
to remind
me of it

I already
know I’m
a bitter
old crone

I don’t need
you pointing
out that I’ll
forever be alone

I already
know my
cuts are
too deep

I don’t
need you
to watch
them weep

I already
know that
I’m dead
inside

I don’t need
you telling me
there’s nowhere
left to hide

4

When Will It End?

Biting my nails
until they bleed,
doesn’t give me
the relief I need.

Scratching my skin
until it’s breaking,
doesn’t stop my
heart from aching.

When will it end,
this pain I’m feeling?
When does it stop,
when do I start healing?

0

Up ↑