Random #30

‘…And if all that there is

Is this fear of being used

I should go back to being lonely

And confused…’

Dear Stevie

If we
could
meet

We’d
drink
a brew

And
maybe
share

A
laugh
or two

Yet we
would
know

At the
end of
the day

What
connects
us both

Is
life’s
decay

Detached

It
matters
not

If
I go
out

Or if
I stay
at home

As
either
way

It’s
clear
to me

I’ll
always
be alone

No Swimming

One
day
I’ll
wake
up

And
I won’t
feel
this
strong

So
you’ll
find
me

Drowned
in the
river

And
back
where
I belong

Campfire Tales

I ask
them
over
and
over
again

What
did
I do to
deserve
this
pain

As I
look
up to
the
starry
sky

The
knife
you
plunged
makes
me cry

Cambuslang

All
those
days we
stayed
in bed

They
rattle
around
inside
my head

Until
the tears
run from
my eyes

As the
love we
shared
slowly
dies

Xxx

Bruised

It’s
OK

You
can
say
it

After
all
it’s
true

I
know
you
never

Really
loved
me

Like
how
I loved
you

(Compass)ion

It must be
so easy
for you

Loving
your life
as you do

But spare a
thought for
the likes of me

Drowning
in a sea of
melancholy

‘Twilight’

I wish
I could
remember

The
good
old
days

But I
fear they
were just
a lie

For I
cannot
recall

Any
time in
my life

When I
didn’t
want
to die

Nothing

Nothing makes
me happy

Nothing makes
me smile

There’s nothing left
to look forward to

Nothing that
feels worthwhile

Helpless

This grief
is all
consuming

Who knows
when it
will end

As not only
have I lost
my lover

I have
lost my
best friend

The Old Days

Waking along
this empty street

Splashing puddles
with my feet

I remember when
we used to meet

And my broken heart
skips a beat

The Lamp

I should
have been
more careful
with what
I wished for

Because
I never
wanted it
to end like
this at all

Robert

Your
melancholic
madness
dances
rings
around
my
heart

As
you
smudge
your
eyes
with
kohl

And
slash
your
lips
with
crimson

Leftovers

A weary,
confused mind.

A hollow,
empty heart.

As bleak as it is,
it’s all I have.

As my life has
fallen apart.

Options

I am amazed, yet again, that I’ve found the courage to get out of bed.

You have no idea how hard it is.

This sustained internal struggle.

The conscious effort required to motivate myself to move.

The strength of belief needed to convince my anxious brain that we can get through the day unscathed.

It’s exhausting.

If only I could return to the naivety of the past.

Travel back to a time when sadness was mere affectation.

Where melancholy was a comforting friend.

And death wasn’t such a viable option.

Happier

Perhaps we’d
have been
happier
as strangers,

For never
having met.

Perhaps we’d
have been
happier
as strangers,

With nothing
to regret.

Grey Days

I love
walking
on grey days.

The raindrops
land on my face
and mingle with
my tears,

Hiding them
from prying
eyes.