Self-Stimulation

I’m not here

For your pleasure

I don’t exist

To be your toy

As from now,

Myself,

I have reclaimed

For me alone

To enjoy

You Were Warned

I don’t know who

You think you are

Walking around

All giddy

And bright

It’s as if you think

A cheeky wink

Will make it

All alright

Well I’m here to say

It’s not ok

And for your sins

You must pay

So sometime soon

This recent boon

Will end much

To your dismay

Wreckage

As the thunder claps

And the heavens open

I search through the scraps

Of what you have broken

That’s Life

Wearing away

My heart and soul

Destroying me was

Your only goal

So with your daggers

You proceeded

Until I was broken

And you’d succeeded

Half-hearted

You could try

A little harder

He said

And not be afraid

To commit

Why would I

Even bother

She said

When your heart’s

Not even in it

Tapping Out

That’s it

I’m done

I have had

Enough

There is no

More smooth

To soften

The rough

And I know

That I seem

Pretty hardy

And tough

But trust me

I’m made

Of nothing like

The stuff

Digging My Own Hole

After all

The effort

I put in

You’d think

I’d learn

To enjoy it

But I know

Before long

I’ll start

To feel wronged

And then

I’ll just fucking

Destroy it

Pretty Please

How many times more likely

Would it be if you asked politely

I mean I’d let you do

Whatever you wanted to

If you just spoke to me nicely

Spilled Guts

To acclaim and adulation

Of late I’ve been besieged

But that’s just what happens 

When your mind blackens 

And suffers a containment breach

(Inspired by a writing prompt offered by Michael at https://afterwards.blog)

Clickety-Clack

You’d think I’d know

This route by now

As I’ve travelled it

So many times

Yet I always see

Something new to me

As I traverse

These railway lines

Clock Watching

I commend

Your curiosity

I absolutely do

The fact

That I’m not

Remotely arsed

Says far more

About me

Than you

Living A Lie

Don’t be scared

He said

Now you’ve shared

I’ll keep your secret

‘Til the end

If they ever found out

She said

I’m not that devout

I fear chaos

Would descend

Sea Legs

Now I can take

Longer strokes

And can draw

Bigger breaths

Perhaps one day

I’ll swim away

And escape

These murky depths


(Compass)ion

It must
be so easy
for you

Loving
your life
as you do

But spare a
thought for
the likes of me

Who drown
in a sea of
melancholy

(Originally Posted 23.02.2020)

Relocation

It wasn’t that

After our spat

I just put up

The ‘no vacancies’ sign

But I sold the whole

B & B

And left all your bullshit

Behind


No Vacancies

I don’t
want you
to visit

When all
you bring
is pain

I’d rather
stay home
alone

And break
this toxic
chain

(Originally Posted 23.02.2020)

Save Me

Those oceans feel

A little calmer now

As those days

Have passed me by

So from here

I’ll just tread water

Hoping for help

Before I die


The Drowning Girl

Tears
run into
oceans

Hours
bleed into
days

As I go
through
the motions

Trapped
between
the waves

(Originally Posted 21.01.2021)

Ploughed

A family now

Torn apart

Proved fertile ground

For my art


Finding Fault

All
you
do

He
said

Is
whine
and
moan

I’m
surprised
anyone
reads
this
pish

Well,
maybe
if you

She
said

Weren’t
such a
prick

My
words
wouldn’t
so easily
flourish

(Originally Posted 10.01.2021)

Stalled

We’ve reached that time

In our run

Where things are beginning

To come undone

Words once so profound

Are now old and cruddy

Our parts played mostly

By the understudy

It’s such a shame

To see it end this way

And that soon our house

Will stage a different play


Theatrics

Of the love

I feel for you

I have never been

More certain

So much so

It is now time

To drop

The safety curtain

So then we can

With a fiery gusto

Both just get on

With performing our show

(Originally Posted 01.01.2021)

Scarred For Life

It’s like saying hello

To your oldest friend

But seeing them is conflicting

You enjoy the sting

Of the comfort they bring

But not of the wounds you’re inflicting


Scabs

Picking at these circles

All itchy, bloody and raw

Wondering why

The fuck am I

Doing this shit again for

(Originally Posted 24.11.2020)

New Beginnings

Early this morning

Whilst stood on the street

The plumpest wee robin

Landed at my feet

It looked like she’d managed

To escape her cage

And that she was ready

To face winter’s rage


Unfathomable Cruelty

Only I
know why
the caged
bird sings

It’s because
some bastard
clipped it’s
wings

Yet as the
tears rise
and the
anger stings

The bird
knows it’s
just one of
those things

(Originally Posted 22.11.2019)

Terminated

Here I am stuck

In this carriage again

Honestly,

I could scream

I’m forever trying

To reach the end

Yet I always run out

Of steam


‘Forever Delayed’

Brought
to a
standstill

By leaves
on the
line ahead

Yet
another
signal
point
failure

Oh how
I wish
I’d stayed
in bed

(Originally Posted 05.11.2019)

Behind Enemy Lines

If only I’d tried harder

I could have fought you more

If only I’d been smarter

I could have won the war


Fade To Black

Pull down the stars

Put out the sun

I’ve had enough

You have won

(Originally Posted 23.10.2020)

Nothing Left To Say

I am pretty sure

I’ll give up soon

When I find a moment

That is opportune

I’ll say goodbye

Just after nightfall

And put down my pen

Once and for all


Done In

There’s
only so
much I
can write

Before
I go
to sleep
tonight

My
eyes are
heavy and
overtired

My
heart is
weary and
overfired

(Originally Posted 22.10.2019)

In For The Kill

They sense my attempt

To avoid them, the pack,

So they change their course

Quick smart

For there’s nothing more appealing

Than an injured woman concealing

The stench

Of her bleeding heart


Prey

The
wolves
are on
their
hunt
again

I can
hear
them
whine
and
howl

They
are
already
stalking
me,
I know,

For
you’ve
told
them
where
to prowl

(Originally Posted 14.10.2019)

Waiting For Roadside Assistance

I’m not usually very good

With metaphors

But this one is pretty neat

Then I guess it would be

As it was conceived

While in the back seat of a Mini


Car Trouble

Nothing makes this better

Everything makes it worse

A body straining in first gear

But a mind stuck in reverse

(Originally Posted 28.09.2019)

Innocence

Nothing prepares them

For what’s to come

The devastation

And then some

All I can say

As I watch them have fun

Is just be there for them

When they are done


Piercing

It looks
like this
situation
I may have
misjudged

As not
once did I
think it
would hurt
this much

(Originally Posted 09.09.2019)

Stick Your Tongue Out

You may be surprised

To learn in fact

This one doesn’t refer

To a suicide pact

It is actually based

On my favourite date

When we took MDMA

And left the rest to fate


Eternity

Counting the days
Counting the hours

You bring the wine
I’ll bring the flowers

Counting the minutes
Counting the seconds

We’ll both take a pill
As eternity beckons

(Originally Posted 15.08.2019)

Plus It Didn’t Fit

Next time

I’ll buy my own


Tarnished

That
ring you
gave me
yesterday

Has
turned
my finger
green

A more
appropriate
metaphor
for our
relationship

I have
never seen

(Originally Posted 13.08.2019)

Archived

No longer the main attraction

I have been consigned to the basement

As people couldn’t touch

They stopped looking as much

And so they wheeled out my replacement


Life as a Relic

It’s like
I’m now
a museum
exhibit

Everyone
is welcome
to stop
and stare

But there
is no
touching
allowed

(Originally Posted 27.07.2019)

A Miscarriage Of Justice

If our case was

To be heard again

In any court of law

You know it would end

With your actions condemned

And you locked behind this door


At Her Majesty’s Pleasure

You were keen to kidnap my kindness.

Happy to hijack hope from my heart.

You smiled whilst you stole my soul,
and laughed as you looted the love from my life.

So why am I the one who is sentenced to this life of solitude,

And you are strolling around out there scot-free?

(Originally Posted 07.07.2019)

Lifesavers

To anyone who has ever read

Liked, shared, or commented

You’ve helped more

Than you could know

Without your engagement

There’d be complete derangement

And I’d have ended things

Long ago


Futile

Sometimes,
I depress
myself

As my
thoughts
fill the
page

Why
am I
here

Wasting
everyone’s
time

Hoping
for
someone
to engage

(Originally Posted 06.07.2020)

Game, Set And Match

And who did win out

In the end?

Well it wasn’t you

Was it my friend

All that effort

To leave me crushed

And yet I walked

Before I was pushed


Match Point

Please,
ignore
me
more and
more
each day.

For you’ll
only
push me
further
away.

Please,
glower
at me
more and
more
each week.

For
I won’t
always
turn
the other
cheek.

Please,
isolate me
more and
more
as time
goes on.

For we’ll
see who is
victorious,
when all is
said and done.

(Originally Posted 23.06.2019)

Passing The Parcel

It’ll be you next

When the music stops

So I’ll look away

As your heart drops


An Unwanted Gift

You’ll always carry it with you,
the pain.

You can try to wrap it differently.

Use an alternative box,
choose a shiny wrapping paper.

Secure it with ribbon,

Even glue on a fucking huge bow,
if you like.

But you’ll still carry it with you,
the pain.

Like a gaudy present nobody wants to open.


An unwanted gift you can never return.

(Originally Posted 28.04.2019)

Sensitive Skin

How about this

He said

For an interesting notion

Perhaps you’re not

Dead inside

But just allergic to emotion

Body Snatchers

Far more terrifying

Than any soul left behind

Are the ghouls camped out permanently

In the corners of my mind

#14 The Ballerina

You sit and admire my beauty

As you gently applaud my grace

Yet my feet are bleeding

And I’m not eating

All for that smile on your face

#2 The Thief

I really couldn’t give a fuck

If you say it’s yours or not

I will take whatever I want

And leave you here to rot

Already Spiralling

If we leave things like this

He said

Tell me you won’t self destruct

I can’t make any promises

She said

As my head is completely fucked

When Admission Isn’t Free

Is this all I am to you

Just an object in a cage

Here only to be gawped at

Never allowed to engage

Well let me tell you something

That I know to be true

How from my prison I can see

The only animal here is you

Spies

I’m not who you think I am

She said

There’s been many times I’ve lied

I knew from the moment we met

He said

That this wouldn’t be cut and dried

Slipping

What’s the point

In laying down grit

When there’s all that ice

Still underneath it

The Birds

Looking up to the sky

This foreboding feeling grows

As I see the unkindness of ravens

And hear the murder of crows

After The Exorcism

Things should be better now

He said

They certainly shouldn’t be worse

I really hope so

She said

For I can’t live with this curse

Rolling Out The Red Carpet

Presenter 1: ‘And the award for the biggest lie of them all goes to…’

(drum roll)

Presenters 1 & 2 in unison: ‘…I’m Fine!’

(applause)

Voiceover: ‘And collecting the award tonight are Honestly and I Promise, who both played a key role in supporting I’m Fine in the 2020 film ‘How Are You Today’

The Bakery Aisle

You’re in the supermarket on a cold winters day.

You’re minding your own business, pushing your trolley and checking items off your list when your nose twitches at the smell of freshly baked bread. Tempted, you wander over to the bakery.

Your stomach grumbles as you peruse the counter. Your eyes widen as they drink in the glorious delights on offer. Loaves, rolls, buns, cakes, pastries, biscuits, tarts: each as tantalising as the next. After much internal deliberation you finally decide which one to buy.

A chocolate eclair.

You signal your selection to the assistant who hands you your prize in a cardboard box, neatly tied with ribbon. You carefully place the box at the far end of your trolley, safely stowed away from heavier household goods that might roll around and crush it.

You finish the rest of your shopping a little quicker now, somehow lighter of step, and stride with purpose to the checkout.

You hastily pack and pick up your shopping bags but you grip the box tightly in your hand, carrying it safely all the way out to your car.

You drive along with the box calling to you, provocatively, on the passenger seat. You glance over every few minutes, stretching out a protective hand and smiling in anticipation.

You get home and unpack your shopping whilst waiting, impatiently, for the kettle to boil. The box consumes your thoughts as you drum your fingers on the counter top, and your excitement continues to build.

You sit down in your favourite chair and make yourself comfortable. You tenderly untie the ribbon and lift the lid of the box. You lick your lips as your heart quickens and you finally take a bite of the glistening chocolate eclair.

You begin to realise, as you chew, that it doesn’t taste as good as you thought it would.

The cream is artificial and bland. The pastry is soggy and sticks to your cheeks. The chocolate is saccharine and hurts your teeth.

Disappointed, you put the remaining piece of the chocolate eclair back into the box, close the lid and re-tie the ribbon. You throw the box in the bin without a care in the world.

And that’s what love is like.

Being lured in by the chocolate eclair when, all along, you really should have picked the strawberry tart.

(Originally Posted 07.03.2019)

 

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