If the sun
And the moon
Cannot agree
Then fuck knows why
You’d ever ask me
"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
If the sun
And the moon
Cannot agree
Then fuck knows why
You’d ever ask me
I hope you don’t mind me asking
He said
But do you think of me
At all?
I’ll remember that night forever
She said
But the rest
I can’t recall
If I was to meet my father
When he was a younger man
I would ask him some questions
To help me to understand
Like did he ever really love her
That’s what I’d like to know
Why did he defy his parents
If it was all just for show?
Why when he had his own kids
Did he revert back to what he knew
Why treat us the way he had been
What was he trying to do?
But most of all I’d tell him
Of the mistakes he was going to make
And convince him to do things differently
For our relationships sake
Complicated relationships
May be all I’ve ever known
Yet it seems the baggage
That you come along with
By far outweighs my own
Tussle
I don’t want to just be friends
I don’t want to let this go
You may be able to walk away
But this is all I know
(Originally Posted 01.02.2021)
“Raindrops keep falling on my head”
As that old sentimentalist croons
Well for me,
It’s not just raindrops
It’s a slew of fucking monsoons
Left Guessing
Time moves on
Yet I’m stood still
Fading away
Losing the will
As each second
Passes me by
I can’t seem to forget
Or stop asking why
(Originally Posted 19.01.2021)
Another well meaning question
Asked way too expectantly
Answered without hesitation
Although far too respectfully
Tight Lipped
I am
not
trying
to be
mean
Or to
cause
yet
another
scene
So before
my fuse
is well
and truly
blown
Please
just piss
off and
leave me
alone
(Originally Posted 26.10.2019)
It doesn’t matter
Who I ask
No one can answer me
So three years in
It’s time to begin
Living independently
?
What did I do
to deserve this?
Why did this
happen to me?
Where will
I end up now?
Who is coming
to save me?
(Originally Posted 30.09.2019)
I guess
Looking back
You can’t be sure
Why you did the things you did
Reflection, it seems,
Isn’t for the dead
It is the curse
For those who live
Happy
I
miss
you
I
miss
us
I wish we
could just
go back
To
how it
was
Before
all
of this
Before
things turned
to shit
And we
were
happy
Because
we were
happy
I
was
happy
Wasn’t I?
(Originally Posted 13.09.2019)
If only I had a pound
For each session that started like this
I wouldn’t need a whip-round
For a better therapist
On The Couch
What’s worrying you today,
He asks.
Everything,
I reply.
(Originally Posted 14.08.2020)
I met him on the Solstice
Many, many moons ago
There amongst the stones I thought
He looks to be in the know
So I asked him that question
The one you see below
But alas, he shook his head and said
‘I just go with the flow’
The Sage
Tell me
how
you do
it
She
said
How
do you
stay so
strong
I
don’t
really
know
He
said
I make
it up
as
I go
along
(Originally Posted 22.06.2020)
You didn’t give me
An answer then
And I doubt that you could now
But that doesn’t mean
I’m not still wondering
If one day you will, somehow
The Hardest Question Of All
If
it’s
not you
And
it isn’t
not me
Then who
the fuck
Is it
supposed
to be?
(Originally Posted 12.05.2020)
I’ve said this many times
Mainly to my psychiatrist
For it is he who,
In my opinion,
Sould remain the quietest
No Idea
Stop asking me questions
When you are in no way prepared for the answers
(Originally Posted 01.05.2019)
Never
Of course not
I shouldn’t think so
Don’t be stupid
Obviously not
You should
You won’t
Fuck knows
Of course
Yes
Questions
When does this pain end?
Have I not suffered enough?
Will things ever change?
Does time heal everything?
Am I done?
Do I care?
Shall I?
Go where?
Alone?
Forever?
(Originally Posted 20.03.2019)
It was nice of you to ask today
So I lied in reciprocation
It would’ve been unfair
To make you aware
Of my abject desolation
What is more important
She said
Being kind or telling the truth
For if it’s the latter
Then I cannot flatter
And your ego I will not soothe
Does it matter
If I do
Or don’t
Should it matter
If I will
Or won’t
Why can’t it be easy
To decide
Without strain
When will I stop
Churning it over
Again
All that time
You never knew
How broken I was
Beneath the mask
And it wasn’t because
I didn’t tell you
You just never cared enough
To ask
You say you’re ever loving
Yet your cruelty holds no bounds
If you care as much
As they tell me
Then why do you make me frown
How on earth do you cope
He asked
With all the loneliness
You don’t have any choice
She said
When you’ve got no one left
Why would you ask me
A question
If you don’t want to hear
What I say
It really is fucking
Annoying
That you feel you can treat me
This way
Not since those heady days
Of Haddaway in ’93
Have I really asked
How long it lasts
And what love means to me
Do you really look past
The colour of my skin
And try hard to see
Who I am within
I don’t believe you
What the fuck
Are you still doing up
Don’t you know
It’s quarter past four?
Well of course I do
But it’s nothing new
To find I can’t sleep
Anymore
I don’t want to go back, actually
My old normal kinda sucked
Whereas my life now
Doesn’t seem somehow
So irrevocably fucked
I wonder what you’ll all say,
When I finally go away.
I wonder what you’ll all think,
When off into the shadows I slink.
I wonder if you’ll all stop and stare,
When you finally realise I’m no longer there.
(Originally Posted 25.06.2019)
I think that I forgot myself
Somewhere along the way
So not only have I lost you
I’ve got a whole life to replay
(Originally Posted 28.07. 2019)
At this point I just want to feel
It matters not what or who
But this world has lost its appeal
So what is a girl to do?
Is this why we were put here
She said
To worship his favourite son?
I’m fucked if I know
He said
So let’s just have some fun
Throwing up the contents
Of yet another hateful day
Wondering why I ever made
This ridiculous choice to stay
It
can't
get
much
worse,
can it?
He
said
Than
the
year
that
has
just
passed
Well
you've
fucking
jinxed
it
now
She
said
That
you've
gone
and
bloody
asked!
You're
no fun
anymore
He
said
What
happened
to you
my friend?
I was
never
fun
before
She
said
All
that
was
just
pretend
As my life passes me by
I lose the will to even try
So I raise my hands to the sky
And scream why me, you arsehole, why?
Who am I now?
What should I do?
Why am I still here?
When I could be with you?
Xxx
Who knows
And, quite frankly,
Who cares
‘What am I now?
What am I now?
What if I’m someone I don’t want around..?’
With no idea what this shit means
I’ve fallen apart at the seams
Hidden behind these opaque screens
I only exist now in my dreams
If
we
are
all
supposed
to be
stars
Why
do
some
shine
brighter
than
others?
You
calledMy
LordBut
didn’t
waitFor
the
answerI
was
appalledMy
LordTo
find
youSuch
a chancer
I post here twice a day
Not knowing who will read
Is anyone even interested?
Do my words fulfill a need?
Is there humour in my blog?
Or do you just find it sad?
Do I come across as normal?
Or do you think I’m mad?
I’m interested in what you think
I’d really love to know
So without fear of recrimination
Please comment your thoughts below
What
holds us
togetherIs a
deep
connectionThat
need
neverBe
in
questionBut
whether
or notIt’s
love
or hateIs very
much
stillUp
for
debate
It’s
not
about
what
she
didOr
what
he did
either
to be
fairIt’s
about
how
it has
made
me feelFor
the
rest
I could
not
care
You ask
What
I left
Behind
Nothing
I answer
Just
My mind
How will you know
She said
If it’s her or me?
I have no idea
He said
Confusedly
Tell me
how
you do
it
She
said
How
do you
stay so
strong
I
don’t
really
know
He
said
I make
it up
as
I go
along
If
life’s
a bitch
She
said
And
then
you
die
What’s
the
point
in
living?
It’s
for
those
moments
He
said
Inbetween
That’s
why we
keep on
giving
If
I ask
you a
question
She
said
Do you
promise
to tell
the truth?
Yes
He
lied
If
it’s
not you
And
it’s
not me
Then who
the fuck
else
Is it
supposed
to be?
Is that
it now
She
said
Can we
go back?
As I want
nothing more
But to fade
to black
If
your
decision
is already
made
Why
are
you
asking
me?
Just
take
your
patronising
questions
And stay
the fuck
away
from
me
I’ll
see
you
nowRoom
number
threeSo,
what’s
the
matterDon’t
fucking
ask me!
Sometimes
I wonderIs everything
my fault?And then
I rememberI actually don’t
give a fuck
I suppose
I should
have
askedIf you
really
were
okBefore
I put our
friendship
on blastAnd
again as
I walked
away
I mean, I don’t understand either.
It’s a pity. A real shame.
Shame? It’s fucking awful…
Don’t
say
anything
elseHe
saidPlease
just
hold my
handI’ll
stay for
as long
as I canShe
saidThen we
draw a
line in
the sand
Do you
ever
think
there’s
more to
life
than
this?Fuck
knows
to be
honest
mate –
I only
came in
for a piss
Thoughts
run
through
my head
at pace
As I
question
the futility
of the
human race
Would I
have made
a different
choice
If I had
never
heard
your
voice?
Would I
live in a
different
place
If I had
never
seen
your
face?
Would your
death have
hurt me
this much
If I had
never
felt
your
touch?
Tear
or
tear?
Does
it
matter?
Both
fucking
hurt.
In a
different
timeAt a
different
placeThe
answer
would
stare
usRight
in the
face
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