These scars
Are the
Remainder
Of everything
You killed
So now
They’re my
Reminder
That I know
How to rebuild
“The Demons In Your Head”
You thought
You’d stop
Didn’t you?
And you’d never
Touch me again
That you wouldn’t
Need knives
Or razor blades
To cope
With all your pain
Yet here you are
With scissors
Poised to plunge
Into your skin
What a stupid bitch
To think you could switch
And that I
Would never win
Sanguine
I wouldn’t expect you
To understand
Your skin acts
As a protective layer
But mine is a seal
To be broken
For discharging misery
And despair
Scenes Some Viewers May Find Upsetting
It’s
not
self harming
It’s
self
soothing
(Originally Posted 10.02.2020)
Unaffected
It would be really helpful
She said
If you took it down a notch
It’s not like I’m asking for approval
She said
Or for you to fucking watch
Lack Of Understanding
You can’t
keep
hurting
yourself
He
said
For
I can’t
bear to
see it
The
only
problem
is
She
said
It’s
not
about you,
is it?
(Originally Posted 20.01.2020)
It’s Not What I Dreamt Of Either
We hate it
They say
When you act that way
Hurting yourself
Really saddens us
If only
I say
There was another way
As this is hardly
Fucking glamorous
Unsafe Thoughts
Please,
take
away
my
knives
And put
those
razors
in the
bin
For
the
urge
to cut
is rising
To
bleed
out the
pain
within
(Originally Posted 09.01.2020)
It Always Worked Before
Whether it’s from
The scars on my arms
Or from the words
That I have written
I think it may be best
If I take a rest
And go back
To keeping them hidden
Cutting
I scythe these words
Across the page
To allow my pain to flow
I find it leaves
Much less of a scar
Than some other ways I know
(Originally Posted 05.01.2021)
Trauma Breeds Trauma
It started off
Innocently enough
But the problem was
It worked
The desire then grew
And deep down I knew
How I’d forever quench
My thirst
‘Slash & Burn’
Skin somewhat healing
And yet I’m still reeling
As my heart slowly withers
Is there a more appealing
Way to cope with this feeling
Other than with a pair of scissors?
(Originally Posted 15.12.2020)
Scarred For Life
It’s like saying hello
To your oldest friend
But seeing them is conflicting
You enjoy the sting
Of the comfort they bring
But not of the wounds you’re inflicting
Scabs
Picking at these circles
All itchy, bloody and raw
Wondering why
The fuck am I
Doing this shit again for
(Originally Posted 24.11.2020)
Deploy The Safety Net
Remove the paracetamol
And hide the razor blades
As I feel like shit
Again today
So you need to take the reins
The Daily Struggle
I went back to bed
Three times today
To try to dream
This pain away
Yet it didn’t work
So now I’m awake
Do I have any choice
But my life to take?
(Originally Posted 16.11.2020)
Accepting What I Cannot Change
If you’re talking about my arms
She said
Then the urge I could try to park
But if you mean my wit
She said
That’ll always be razor sharp
Spitting Distance
We
could
have
had
it
all
She
said
But
now
we’re
left
with
nothing
Maybe
we’d
have
been
okay
He
said
Had you
not been
so fucking
cutting
(Originally Posted 30.10.2020)
The Feeling
It started out quite innocently
When I was just a kid
I used to pull my hair out
To stop me flipping my lid
But then as I grew older
Things took a darker turn
A wee nick here
A wee cut there
Sometimes even a burn
It’s not something I’m proud of
Or something anyone should aspire to do
But I can’t deny
That down the line
It’s those things that got me through
Thoughts #4
Sliced wide open again
For all the world to see
If only there was
Another way
To let the poison free
(Originally Posted 07.10.2021)
‘You Can’t Handle The Truth’
If you were to see
Who I am inside
You would simply run
Away and hide
It’s not as though
I have ever lied
But to quell the beast
I’ve always tried
Hidden
There’s
so much
of me
You
never
see
So many
things
I do
That are
hidden
from view
I know you
won’t believe
it’s true
But it’s
my way of
protecting you
(Originally Posted 22.09.2019)
Short Sleeves
Once, I thought
I had no choice
But my innermost feeling to hide
But now I know
That given room to grow
I can wear my scars with pride
Another Notch
A
little
nick
here
A
little
cut
there
It
doesn’t
hurt
anymore
Not
that
I’d
care…
(Originally Posted 19.09.2019)
Long Sleeves All Year Round
You can work through your issues
Until they’re no longer discernable
But it’s important to remember
Not all the results are reversible
The Sting
If
I had
never
gone
down
this
path
It
wouldn’t
hurt
so
much
in the
bath
(Originally Posted 19.08.2020)
The No Escape Room
It’s a word I use a lot
‘Abyss’
Reading back now
I have noticed
I hadn’t quite realised
How numb
I’d become
Or how dissociated I was
When I wrote this
Dwelling
Pain helps, momentarily.
It provides a fleeting relief.
Then the numbness returns
And living inside this emotionless abyss, continues.
(Originally Posted 12.07.2019)
How It Manifests
It isn’t just restricting
That should raise a red flag
Sometimes when you’re binging
It can be just as bad
Once More For The Cheap Seats
If
only
I was
wasting
away
Maybe
it would
be easier
to explain
Why my
heart is
broken and
my tongue
is tied
And
I live
each day
in pain
(Originally Posted 20.05.2020)
Seeing Stars
As my cuts bleed
I beg and plead
That this pain
Will be my last
Internal Bleeding
Words
can’t
explain
This
eternal
ache
It
hurts
so much
When
I’m
awake
(Originally Posted 17.05.2020)
Relieved
The scars I carry
Across my body
May well be off the chart
But now I focus
On pulling myself together
Instead of tearing myself apart
Relief
As I
open
up my
scars
The
blood
flows
once
more
As I
begin
to see
stars
I fall,
sated,
to the
floor
(Originally Posted 03.04.2020)
Elastic Bands
I try far less
Nowadays
And for that I am glad
For there’s only so many
Scars I can bear
And so many stitches
To be had
Hiding The Knives
No amount
of blood,
sweat and
tears
Will ever
be enough
to assuage
these fears
Believe
me
I’ve
tried
(Originally Posted 21.03.2020)
Yet Another Tattoo
They are all just scars,
Inked or otherwise.
It’s Just Skin
It really doesn’t matter
If I scratch, cut or burn
For what I do in the shadows
Is none of your concern
Thoughts #4
Sliced wide open again
For all the world to see
If only there was
Another way
To let the poison free
#20 The Self Harmer
It’s the feel
The sizzle
The smell
The burn
The sweet release of everything
And owing nothing in return
Two Steps Back
Words don’t cut it
Anymore
So it’s back to the knives
Instead
I really thought
I was over this
But the trauma demon
Has to be fed
The Support Group
I do not come here
Every week
Looking for praise or reward
For I don’t deserve
Any of those things
Of that I have been assured
A Gradual Process
With my self care
On the floor
The noose tightens
That little bit more
All Is Not Well
Words spill
Onto the page
Just like the blood
From my veins
If You Like
Stitch my wounds, if you like
I want to feel the pain
Don't call me a silly girl
For I'll only do it again
Ask me why, if you like
But you will never understand
The need, the comfort, the urgency
Those scissors close at hand
Leave me here, if you like
Walk away if you dare
Just remember I never asked for your help
Or your tender loving care
Forget I exist, if you like
It will not bother me one bit
For I'll always have my trusty blade
And carry my own first aid kit
(Originally Posted 08.04.2019)
The Mirror
Hair crunchy like straw
Brain burst with chaos
Eyes darkened shadows
Arteries slick with grease
Lips rough as sandpaper
Cheeks stained with tears
Skin cracked and weeping
Forearms heavily scarred
Liver soaked with alcohol
Heart cold as granite
I hate looking in the mirror
For I do not like what I see
I shall stop looking in the mirror
For I do not like me
(Originally Posted 05.04.2019)
Cutting
I scythe these words
Across the page
To allow my pain to flow
I find it leaves
Much less of a scar
Than other ways I know
‘Slash & Burn’
Skin somewhat healing
Yet I’m still left reeling
As my heart slowly withers
Is there a more appealing
Way of coping with this feeling
Other than by using scissors?
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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