Two Steps Back

Words don’t cut it

Anymore

So it’s back to the knives

Instead

I really thought

I was over this

But the trauma demon

Has to be fed

The Support Group

I do not come here

Every week

Looking for praise or reward

For I don’t deserve

Any of those things

Of that I have been assured

If You Like

Stitch my wounds, if you like
I want to feel the pain
Don't call me a silly girl
For I'll only do it again

Ask me why, if you like
But you will never understand
The need, the comfort, the urgency
Those scissors close at hand

Leave me here, if you like
Walk away if you dare
Just remember I never asked for your help
Or your tender loving care

Forget I exist, if you like
It will not bother me one bit
For I'll always have my trusty blade
And carry my own first aid kit

(Originally Posted 08.04.2019)

The Mirror

Hair crunchy like straw
Brain burst with chaos
Eyes darkened shadows
Arteries slick with grease
Lips rough as sandpaper
Cheeks stained with tears
Skin cracked and weeping
Forearms heavily scarred
Liver soaked with alcohol
Heart cold as granite

I hate looking in the mirror
For I do not like what I see
I shall stop looking in the mirror
For I do not like me

(Originally Posted 05.04.2019)

Cutting

I scythe these words

Across the page

To allow my pain to flow

I find it leaves

Much less of a scar

Than other ways I know

‘Slash & Burn’

Skin somewhat healing

Yet I’m still left reeling

As my heart slowly withers

Is there a more appealing

Way of coping with this feeling

Other than by using scissors?

Unhealthy Choices

Sitting
here
with
nothing
to do

And
yet my
mind is
crowded

This
is when
things
go wrong

When my
judgement
becomes
clouded

Precision

Just be
careful
not to
slip

Not one
ounce of
blood to
drip

For you
don’t want
them to
see

Just how
messed
up you
can be

Relief

As I
open
up my
scars

The
blood
flows
once
more

As I
begin
to see
stars

I fall,
sated,
to the
floor

999

God
knows
why I
didn’t
wake up
dead

Or why
I didn’t
think
to plan
this far
ahead

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