In
order
to keep
what is
rightfully
mine
There’s
no other
choice
but to
retire
online
"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
In
order
to keep
what is
rightfully
mine
There’s
no other
choice
but to
retire
online
I
really
only
write
What
everyone
else is
thinking
I just
do what
comes
naturally
And
without
even
flinching
Sometimes
I depress
myself
As these
thoughts
fill the
page
Why
am I
here
Wasting
everyone’s
time
Hoping
someone
will
engage
In
amongst
all of
this
madnessHere
I stand
heart
tinged
with
sadness
Thirty
six
thousand
words
And
each
one of
them
shite
But now
I’ve
passed
one
thousand
followers
I
must
be doing
something
right
Just be
careful
not to
slip
Not one
ounce of
blood to
drip
For you
don’t want
them to
see
Just how
messed
up you
can be
As we lie here
My head spinning
I wonder which
One of us
Is winning
I
have
tried to
move on
My
feelings
for you
to shelve
But
when
push
comes to
shove
I just
can’t
help
myself
How long
Must I wait
For salvation?
It’s
hard to
write
it all
down
What
I’ve
been
feeling
inside
But now
is the
time to
start
again
For the
truth
I’ll no
longer
hide
I’m
going
back
to bed
It’s
not
worth
staying
awake
From
these
thoughts
in my
head
I need a
fucking
break
I
loved
talking
to you
so much
tonight
It
bought
a tear
to my
eye
It seems
there’s
no one
else I
want to
sit with
And
watch
the
world
go by
I
know
that
I
agreed
to
this
But
now
I
am
quite
scared
What
if
I’m
late
to
meet
you
Or
my
ability
to
talk
is
impaired?
What
about
if
you
realise
When
you
look
at
me up
close
That
I
really
am
quite
old
and
tired
And
the
thought
of
kissing
me
is gross?
Why
can’t
it be
like that
all the
time
Talking,
laughing
and
drinking
wine
It
always
feels
like
such a
crime
When I
have to
return
to this
life of
mine
‘I think I’ve reached that point…’
Play that song
one more time
She
said
And pour me
another drink
I want to
feel something
She
said
And I don’t want
to have to think
Sitting
aloneA
life
changedHeart
on
loanThoughts
rearranged
I still
have
no
idea
how
I’m
going
to live
without
youI just
hope
I’ve
got
less
time
left
than
I think
I do
For a moment
there I was
feeling goodLiving my
life the way
I shouldAnd then you
wander back
into my mindAnd all sense
of peace is
left behind
We
each
have a
choiceBut it
seems
my hands
are tiedMy
opinion
I cannot
voiceAs my
rights
have been
denied
I fear I’ve
had one too
many a drink
tonight…
Perhaps now
is not the
time my story
to write…
The guilt
I feel
when
I smileConsumes
my day
and nightPerhaps I
should
just wait
a whileBefore
thinking
it’s alright
Here
once
again
Same
old
day
Same
old
pain
Darkness
casts a
shadow
over my
headAs it
does
over
my
heartThoughts
and
dreams
of you
aboundAs does
sorrow
that we
had to
part
It
just
fucking
hurts
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I kiss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I kiss you
I miss you
I kiss you
I miss you
I kiss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
so much
No!
No!
No!
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
How am
I supposed
to decide
what to do
When my
head is
in such
a mess?
It’s time
to put you
back in
your boxTo fasten
the lid
and change
the locksI cannot
continue
down this
pathFor if I
do there
is no way
back
The come down
from seeing you
is a pain
I’ll always be
willing to endure
I got lost on my
eighth birthday.
Sometimes
I wonder
what would’ve
happened,
if I’d never
been found.
The older I get
The more I realise
I never wanted to be here
In the first place
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