"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
The title says it all
She said
There’s nothing else to know
Sometimes there’s no big mystery
She said
It is just my truth on show
Bleak As Fuck
I
told you
a lie
yesterday
I said
I felt better
and that
I’m okay
When the
actual truth
is I hope
and pray
That I
won’t live
another
day
(Originally Posted 19.09.2019)
I used to care
About the truth
That the world should know
About my abuse
But I’m a better person now
Than those liars and frauds
So I’ll happily stay quiet
About my in laws
The Silver Medal
This
was
hardly
a fair
fight
And
we
both
know
who
rightfully
won
Yet
I’ll
step
graciously
aside
for
you
As
one
day
the
truth
will
come
(Originally Posted 17.09.2020)
‘Tis better to be lowly born,
And range with humble livers in content,
Than to be perked up in a glist’ring grief,
And wear a golden sorrow.’
Henry VIII: Act II Scene III
When feelings
Are so intrinsic
Language
Is best kept simplistic
Random #19
It
just
fucking
hurts
(Originally Posted 14.09.2019)
In this city
I once called home
I know I could never
Feel alone
Coming Home
It’s not
that I
love this
city
It’s that
I love
who I am
when I’m here
(Originally Posted 08.09.2019)
It doesn’t compare
It’s not the same thing
I lost the man completely
Not just my wedding ring
That Morning
You
can
try
to
imagine
But
you
can
never
know
How
much
it
tore
me
apart
When
I had
to let
him go
Xxx
(Originally Posted 07.09.2020)
It matters not
How I seem
Through these words
I’ve penned
For if we were to ever
Meet in person
You’d be disappointed
In the end
Telling Tales
Why don’t you
stay here
a while,
he said,
and have
a cup
of tea
But I don’t
understand,
she said,
why would
you want
to talk
to me?
You’ve got
a tale to
tell, he said,
and I’d
like to
find out
more
Well you’ll
be sad
to realise,
she said,
that I’m
nothing
but a bore
(Originally Posted 04.09.2019)
Looking back, it seems, that last year
I afforded you a reprieve
But make no mistake
Just ’cause I took a break
You’ve still got plenty of insults to recieve
You Know Who You Are (Part 2)
You
really
are
such a
prick
I don’t
know
how you
can show
your face
That
you think
this can
be fixed
so quickly
Is an
absolute
fucking
disgrace
(Originally Posted 03.09.2020)
You Know Who You Are (Part 1)
You
are
such
an
unbelievable
cunt
Your
behaviour
has
been
just
vile
I
wish
you
nothing
but
unhappiness
And
a
life
forever
spent in
exile
(Originally Posted 03.09.2019)
“Life isn’t as serious as the mind makes it out to be”
– Eckhart Tolle
My friend had one
Etched with that quote
Back when I was a kid
I’m not sure if
She ever believed it
Half as much as I did
Cinderella, I Am Not
There’s no such
thing as happily
ever after
There is only
heartbreak
and disaster
What you see
in their films
is a lie
As life’s a
bitch and
then you die
(Originally Posted 02.09.2019)
I’ve written quite a few times
About the shit these tricksters say
But I cannot deny
Or explain why
She said what she did that day
The Psychic
She told me this would happen
When we met many moons ago
She knew you were in jeopardy
That you would reap what you sow
She sent an angel to watch over you
While I sat and took the piss
How I wish that I’d known then
It would all end like this
(Originally Posted 01.09.2019)
If I ever get round
To publishing that book
This will be the inscription
Not only does it sound
Like a pretty good hook
It’s also an accurate description
Last Year
It wasn’t
just the
end of us
It was
the end of
everything
Xxx
(Originally Posted 29.08.2019)
If only if was like that
All sentimental and romantic
But believe you me,
In reality,
Death throes are far more frantic
9.15am
I
was
high
As
were
you
When
we said
goodbye
In the
morning
hue
(Originally Posted 28.08.2019)
Why don’t you come over
He said
It’s just me and a group of my friends
That’s very kind of you to offer
She said
I get so lonely at weekends
I’d Only Stand in the Kitchen Anyway…
For the third night in a row there are people having a party, somewhere, along my street.
I can hear them talking and laughing in their garden.
I can smell their cigarette smoke through my open window.
I can hear the rattle of beer bottles as they are thrown into the recycle bin.
Music blares away until the early hours.
I’m so jealous sitting here, miserable and alone, night after night.
I mean, I can be fun too you know.
Well, kind of.
(Originally Posted 28.08.2019)
People say things
Get better with time
Which may be their truth
But it isn’t mine
Not Long Now
Each day brings
Yet more false hope
Along with an another
Earth shattering new low
I really am just
Biding my time now
Waiting until
It’s my turn to go
(Originally Posted 27.08.2019)
Do you know what, fuck this shit
She said
I’ve had enough of being polite
I really think you’re it
She said
And not just for tonight
Unsaid
Wouldn’t
it save
all
this
fuss
and
bother
If we
were
just
honest
with
each
other?
(Originally Posted 20.08.2020)
There’s nothing more to add to this
As there’s nothing more to say.
This may have been written,
Three years ago,
But it remains the truth today.
Two Sides
I lie
in your bed
and I lie
to your face.
I am a
public fraud
and a private
disgrace.
(Originally Posted 20.09.2019)
You may be surprised
To learn in fact
This one doesn’t refer
To a suicide pact
It is actually based
On my favourite date
When we took MDMA
And left the rest to fate
Eternity
Counting the days
Counting the hours
You bring the wine
I’ll bring the flowers
Counting the minutes
Counting the seconds
We’ll both take a pill
As eternity beckons
(Originally Posted 15.08.2019)
Yet I didn’t slip away
Quietly
I remained
And caused a fuss
I got my head down
And stuck around
To tell the story
Of us
‘Slip Away, Quietly’
All
happiness
is fleeting
All
sadness
is depleting
I am
no longer
competing
As from
sanity
I am
retreating
(Originally Posted 14.08.2019)
I really don’t mind saying
That I’m actually quite proud of this
As it describes that employee
To an absolute tee
Despite the sweetness she emits
The Bake Sale
Bringing
along
a
flask of
coffee
And
your
frosted
homemade
cake
Doesn’t
make you
any more
likeable
Or any
less
fucking
fake
(Originally Posted 13.08.2020)
‘I don’t know if you’ve seen her lately
But God, she’s looking rough…’
How long must I wait
She said
Until I tell him how I feel
I don’t think you ever can
He said
That truth you should never reveal
Always The Bridesmaid
If only you’d ask
I would say yes
My undying love
I would confess
Alas it seems
I must somehow
Bide my time
At least for now
(Originally Posted 02.08.2021)
Off on
my travels
again
Hoping
this time
for something
new
But
time has
told me
And
experience
shown me
My dreams
will never
come true
Aspirations
Off on
my travels
again
Hoping to
find some
peace
Perhaps I’ll
meet someone
new
And this
heartache will
cease
(Originally Posted 31.07.2019)
You said you’d had enough
Back then
That you’d heard it all before
But I always knew
With these words I spew
You’d keep coming back for more
With A Wink
You
really
are
He
said
Without
doubt
The
most
depressing
woman
I’ve
met
Really
She
said
That
is a
shame
As
you
ain’t
seen
nothing
yet
(Originally Posted 23.07.2020)
I couldn’t have put it
Any more sincerely
As this is me
All over really
The Knight
You come charging in
On your white horse
Thinking you’ll save the world,
Of course
But you’ve nothing to offer
Under all that armour
You don’t fool me,
You little charmer
(Originally Posted 21.07.2019)
Misery loves company
Isn’t that what they say?
Well you and I know
We feel that with gusto
So neither of us
Will be walking way
Bonding
Admit it.
You hate this as much as I do.
It’s what keeps us together.
(Originally Posted 20.07.2019)
“It’s a good job we’re not having soup, or else I’d put me head in it and drown meself.”
– Shirley Valentine
Sometimes I
Have nothing to add
No further words
Or updates
This is one
Of those times,
I think,
As when I read this
My heart breaks
Leftovers
A weak and weary
confused mind
An empty and
hollow heart
As bleak as it is,
it is all I have
As my life has
fallen apart
(Originally Posted 13.07.2019)
I had forgotten
Ever writing this
But reading it now
It’s so clear to see
Why the overwhelming trauma
I endured that morning
Will never leave
My memory
Sigh
Sorry
it must
end
this way
She
said
But
I need
to let
you go
Please
don’t
forget
what we
had
He
said
Or
how
I loved
you
so
(Originally Posted 07.07.2020)
He may well
Have been a chancer
But he was also
A fine romancer
Otherwise I’d have left him
Years ago
‘… A Midnight Toker’
What
do I
have
to
show
for my
life
Fuck
all
is
the
answer
I
suppose
that’s
what
you
should
expect
When
you
risk
it all
on a
chancer
(Originally Posted 03.07.2020)
Have you thought about moving on
He said
Of starting a life with someone else
It hasn’t even crossed my mind
She said
As I’m more than happy on the shelf
It’s Not The Same Thing
Just think about
What I lost
On the day he died
Then ask yourself
If you were me
When would your tears subside?
(Originally Posted 25.06.2021)
“You know, I should just write down all my random thoughts and stuff that happens to me and conversations I have and just add a bunch of he said, she said’s, and get it published…”
– Logan Huntzberger
Author’s Note:
I didn’t steal this idea.
Honestly.
I think that when
I wrote this one
I was trying
Not to be too mean
But believe you me
Nothing was easy
Back
In twenty nineteen
How Are You?
It’s easier to say I’m alright,
Rather then I’m anxious.
It’s easier to say I’m okay,
Rather than I’m outraged.
It’s easier to say I’m better,
Rather than I’m broken.
It’s easier to say I’m good,
Rather than I’m grieving.
It’s easier to say I’m well,
Rather than I’m wasted.
It’s easier to say I’m fine,
Rather than I’m fucked.
(Originally Posted 24.06.2019)
Believe it or not
Despite my wroth
I am actually quite sweet
I may talk shit
In these words I spit
But in real life I’m a treat
Nom De Plume
Charmer’s the name
Misery the game
Pleased to meet you
I ain’t
I may lack flair
Writing without care
But really
I’m a saint
*winks*
(Originally Posted 23.06.2020)
When you won’t decide
One way or the other
Known colloquially
As a ‘contrary little fucker’
That’s me
Indifference
Sometimes I do
Sometimes I don’t
Sometimes I will
Sometimes I won’t
Either deal with it
Or don’t
I’m not fussed either way
(Originally Posted 22.06.2019)
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”
– Audre Lorde
If
I ask
you a
question
He
said
Do you
promise
to tell
the truth?
Yes
She
lied
Does My Bum Look Big In This?
If
I ask
you a
question
She
said
Do you
promise
to tell
the truth?
Yes
He
lied
(Originally Posted 13.06.2020)
‘Why are you so sarcastic all the time?’
‘Cause it stops me killing people – including myself’
– Tony
And
then
He
did
Duped
You
must
never
leave
me
She
said
For
I
would
fall
apart
I’ll
stay
with
you
forever
He
said
I could
never
break
your
heart
(Originally Posted 08.06.2020)
I bumped into her
The other day
And it seems my prediction
Was right
As from what she said
He was so shit in bed
They didn’t even last
The night
Love’s Young Dream
Dance, you fools, dance
Dance far away from me
For I’ve seen all of the romance
That I need to see
I know only too well
How all this bullshit ends
Give it a year,
Maybe two,
And you won’t even be friends
(Originally Posted 08.06.2020)
Surely you must have known
He said
Not to fall in love with me
I just didn’t expect
She said
That it would happen so easily
I Love You
If I met you again,
For the first time,
I wouldn’t change a thing.
I’d do it all again,
Exactly the same,
Taking you under my wing.
But I should have,
if I could have,
told you that
I loved you
more.
Perhaps then
my life now
wouldn’t be
so difficult
to endure.
(Originally Posted 08.06.2019)
I’m
glad
I don’t
give
much
away
As if
I did,
you’d
never
come
back
Self Esteem
There’s
nothing
more
disheartening
That
brings
me
consternation
and
strife
Than
to find
I’m
more
captivating
On
the
page
Than
I could
ever be
in real life
(Originally Posted 07.06.2020)
You were all I had
When he died
And I didn’t know how to cope
I was driven mad
Each time I cried
And you were my only hope
‘The Boy’s No Good… ‘
As
I sit
and
listen
To each
word you
say
All
of my
pain
Simply
ebbs
away
(Originally Posted 06.06.2020)
I was trying to be polite back then
By calling you a ‘loathsome swine’
But since I have reflected
Something more apt springs to mind
(Never) Ending Hostilities
Whoever
told
me to
forgive
you was
wrong
There’s
no way
we can
ever
get
along
For
you
are
just a
loathsome
swine
Who
isn’t
a worth
second
of my
time
(Originally Posted 05.06.2020)
#CitizensNotSubjects
“I’m fine. I’m just being dramatic. It’s what I do.”
– Lorelai Gilmore
You may look remorseful now
And you may appear contrite
But let’s see how you act
When I tell them the fact
You nearly killed me that night
On Borrowed Time
You can sit there all you want
My friend
Picking at your thumbs
But you and I know
How this will end
When the day of reckoning comes
(Originally Posted 01.06.2021)
Even now I struggle
To lie on your side of the bed
I just wish you were in it
As often as you are my head
Xxx
A King Sized Longing
Lying in bed
Late at night
I turn over
With a sigh
I reach out
With my hand
But it’s now empty
Where you would lie
Xxx
(Originally Posted 31.05.2021)
I wish I could say
I’d never take you back
But if I did
I would be lying
You’ll always have a way
To knock me off track
Even without
You really trying
I Am My Own Temple
You only get one chance with me
And you blew it good and proper
Now it’s not about forgiveness
It’s all about my honour
(Originally Posted 30.05.2021)
I never did tell him the truth
Of where I went that day
But even though I did it
I’m glad I hid it
As I could never hurt him that way
Deceit
Lying to
myself
is bad
enough
But
lying
to you
hurts
more
But
there’s
no way
I could
be truthful
That’s
for
fucking
sure
(Originally Posted 29.05.2020)
Crying in the chapel
Many years ago
Missing you intently
And wishing it wasn’t so
Granite
I wish
you were
with me
Gently
squeezing
my hand
Providing
me with
comfort
Helping me
understand
(Originally Posted 28.05.2020)
I’d never use that word lightly
Or just for its shock value
In fact, I only ever use it rightly
And that’s when I’m describing you
Dumped
All
those
times
I was
there
for
you
I
never
asked
for a
thing
in return
Well
you’re
on your
own
You
self
righteous
cunt
So
now
perhaps
you’ll
learn
(Originally Posted 22.05.2020)
I had a lot of fun that day
And I looked beautiful too
Yet on the hour, every hour
I cried alone in the loo
Wedding Bells
Who knows
what will happen
when I get there.
Who knows
what will happen
along the way.
What I do know
is that you
won’t be there.
And my tears
will fall
all day.
(Originally Posted 21.05.2019)
‘Head’s in a whirlpool
Spinnin’ round and round
If she don’t get her man back
She’s gonna drown’
‘People disappoint.
Pizza is eternal.’
– Unknown
‘I’ll Be There For You…’
They
claim
that you’re
not on
your
own
But
it
certainly
feels
like
it
Over
time
they
will all
fade
away
While
you’re
still
wading
through
shit
(Originally Posted 15.05.2020)
I can tell
That there are posts
I’ve written to please
An audience
But there are a few
That make me freeze
As the pain I was in
Is obvious
It’s The Small Things That Hurt The Most
How long does it take
To reach for one mug
Or only set out one plate
To programme the heating
To click on at six
Instead of doing it myself at eight
To only buy
One pint of milk
Or get one lottery ticket
To stop saying hello
As I enter the house
Because you
Are no longer in it
(Originally Posted 14.05.2020)
Eating a sandwich
Outside one day
Someone shouted this
In a jokey way
I snapped back with the truth
And needless to say
They shut the fuck up
And walked away
Lost In Thought
“Cheer up, love!
You don’t know,
it might never happen.”
“I do
and it did.
So piss off.”
(Originally Posted 14.05.2019)
There’s nothing much
To add to this
Little else
That I can write
As the grief I felt
When you left
Will remain with me
For life
Xxx
A Thousand Years
Honestly,
I could wait
for a
thousand years
and it
would still
be too tough.
Honestly,
I could sleep
for a
thousand years
and it
would never
be enough.
Honestly,
I could cry
for a
thousand years
and it
would still
hurt too much.
(Originally Posted 11.5.2019)
Not only did I fail myself
But I also failed you too
I hope one day
You’ll forgive me
For everything I didn’t do
Xxx
Failure
I pride myself on my planning
I write lists day after day
I schedule my time wisely
So that nothing gets in the way
I prepare for every eventuality
Without a pause for breath
But the one thing I didn’t account for
Was your untimely death
Xxx
(Originally Posted 10.05.2021)
The reality
That is me
Rarely lives up
To the promise
That is why
I will always hide
If I am
Brutally honest
Fervour
I have written
All the words I need
Now I just have to press send
But as my finger hovers
I am scared
That our time together
Will end
(Originally Posted 10.05.2020)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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