Tag: truth

Deceit

Lying to
myself
is bad
enough

But
lying
to you
hurts
more

But
there’s
no way
I could
be truthful

That’s
for
fucking
sure

2

An Apathetic Author

It’s
hard to
write
it all
down

What
I’ve
been
feeling
inside

But now
is the
time to
start
again

For the
truth
I’ll no
longer
hide

7

Dear Reader

Sometimes
my words
are so
savage

I even
surprise
myself

It’s like
the page
I must
ravage

With no
care at
all for
yourself

11

Reflex

I can’t
believe
it’s taken

All this
time to
see

That the
bully is
not you

But,
actually,
it’s me

10

Little Sister

I am not
who you
think I am

So please
don’t look
up to me

If you
only knew
the truth

You’d cut
down our
family tree

5

You Have Been Warned

I’m
too
scared
to go
out
today

For
the
dark
thoughts
haven’t
gone away

I’m
worried
I’m so
far into
this
slump

That I’ll
be left
with no
choice
but to
jump

18

Until Someone Loses An Eye

What
happens
when the
laughter
stops

When
that
penny
finally
drops

When we
wake up
tomorrow
with a
raging
hangover

And that
stomach
churning
guilt
takes
over

5

Vindictive Cow

I
wonder
what
you’ve
told him

Now
I’m
no
longer
there

Have
you
bothered
to tell
the truth?

Or just
lied and
said I
no longer
care?

4

Grandiose

I’ll always
be the
better
person

But
there’s
no need
to sweat it

I’ll
always
be hanging
around

To make
sure you
don’t
forget it

6

Self Loathing

I wish
I could
see in
myself,

She
said,

What you’ve
seen since
our affair
began.

For that
you’d need
to love
yourself,

He
said,

And I
don’t
think
you can.

2

Home Sweet Home

They say
you can
never go
home
again

And I’m
starting
to believe
that’s
true

For all
that resides
here now
is a world
of pain

And
far too
many
memories
of you

3

The Reveal

You should
talk more,
he said,
open up
about
how you
feel

It’s not
possible,
she said,
for it’s
not my
secret to
reveal

0

Criminal

We all
do bad
things
sometimes

Yet not
everyone
is made
to pay

But while
you’ll never
admit your
crimes

Just know
the truth
will out
one day

2

For Our Own Good

You never
see the
worst of
my illness
because
I hide it
from you

For you
to know
the truth
about me
would just
tear me
in two

So I’ll
paint
on a
smile and
pretend
that I’m
fine

For
doing so
protects
both
your
sanity
and mine

6

Fake Flowers

Your fake
concern
disgusts me

Your false
condolences
make me sick

If you
really want
to comfort me

Just piss off
and leave me
alone

You prick

10

Misled

You say
it’s not me,
it’s you.

But
you’re
a liar.

And we
both know
that’s true.

13

Mastermind

Please
answer
my
question

Instead
of
avoiding
it

And
try to
be
honest

Instead
of
this
bullshit

7

Hidden

There’s
so much
of me

You
never
see

So many
things
I do

That are
hidden
from view

I know you
won’t believe
it’s true

But it’s
my way of
protecting you

16

Bleak As Fuck

I
told you
a lie
yesterday

I said
I felt better
and that I
am okay

When the
actual truth
is I hope
and pray

That I
won’t live
to see
another day

18

Tuesday

I called in sick for work today.

My heart just couldn’t come out to play.

All I’ve done is lie in bed

Filled with thoughts of fear and dread.

With nausea consuming every movement,

My mood shows no sign of improvement.

I hate existing like this.

Full of anger, self loathing and all that shit.

I wonder how much more emotion can I conceal

Before I decide to end it all for real

6

The Looking Glass

Looking at you
Looking at me

I wonder how
far into
my soul
you can
really see

Looking at me
Looking at you

I wonder
if I’ll ever
believe
what you
say is true

4

The Jumble Sale

I rummage around inside my head as I search for what to say

But the silence means all you hear is that I don’t want you to stay

I rummage around inside my head as I look down to the floor

But the silence means all you hear is that I don’t love you anymore

What is painfully sad for both of us is that neither of these things are true

But this jumble sale of words in my head prevents me from being honest with you

18

I Already Know

I already
know I’m
a piece
of shit

I don’t
need you
to remind
me of it

I already
know I’m
a bitter
old crone

I don’t need
you pointing
out that I’ll
forever be alone

I already
know my
cuts are
too deep

I don’t
need you
to watch
them weep

I already
know that
I’m dead
inside

I don’t need
you telling me
there’s nowhere
left to hide

4

The Struggle

When you see me, you see the finished article.

Washed, dressed, hair in place, make up on and a smile on my face.

But you don’t see what it takes to get there.

You don’t see me trying to muster the strength to open my eyes in the morning.

You don’t see me forcing my weary bones out of bed.

You don’t see me berating myself as I sob in the shower.

You don’t see me looking in the mirror as I question whether or not today is the day.

You don’t see me wracked with indecision on what to wear.

You don’t see me soothing my pain as I twist and pull out my hair.

You don’t see me apply make up in the hope it makes me disappear.

You don’t see me riddled with anxiety as I lurk in the doorway.

You don’t see me breathing deeply before finally pushing open the office door.

When you see me, you see the finished article.

But just because you don’t see the struggle, doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.

Just because you see me smile, it doesn’t mean it’s real.

How I look, is not how I feel.

18

How Are You?

It’s easier to say I’m alright, rather then I’m anxious.

It’s easier to say I’m okay, rather than I’m outraged.

It’s easier to say I’m better, rather than I’m broken.

It’s easier to say I’m good, rather than I’m grieving.

It’s easier to say I’m well, rather than I’m wasted.

It’s easier to say I’m fine, rather than I’m fucked.

0

One Of These Days

One day
you’ll tell me
and I
will run away.

One day
you’ll tell me
and I’ll
beg to stay.

One day
you’ll tell me
and my
tears will sting.

One day
you’ll tell me
and my
heart will sing.

0

Friendship

Every time I make you laugh another part of me dies inside.

For you can never now be the one to whom I can confide.

It’s my own fault, I know too well, as I should not try to pretend.

But if you could only see past my facade, you’d make a cracking friend.

2

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