"All my life's buried here, heap earth upon it"
I think that when
I wrote this one
I was trying
Not to be too mean
But believe you me
Nothing was easy
Back
In twenty nineteen
How Are You?
It’s easier to say I’m alright,
Rather then I’m anxious.
It’s easier to say I’m okay,
Rather than I’m outraged.
It’s easier to say I’m better,
Rather than I’m broken.
It’s easier to say I’m good,
Rather than I’m grieving.
It’s easier to say I’m well,
Rather than I’m wasted.
It’s easier to say I’m fine,
Rather than I’m fucked.
(Originally Posted 24.06.2019)
Believe it or not
Despite my wroth
I am actually quite sweet
I may talk shit
In these words I spit
But in real life I’m a treat
Nom De Plume
Charmer’s the name
Misery the game
Pleased to meet you
I ain’t
I may lack flair
Writing without care
But really
I’m a saint
*winks*
(Originally Posted 23.06.2020)
When you won’t decide
One way or the other
Known colloquially
As a ‘contrary little fucker’
That’s me
Indifference
Sometimes I do
Sometimes I don’t
Sometimes I will
Sometimes I won’t
Either deal with it
Or don’t
I’m not fussed either way
(Originally Posted 22.06.2019)
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”
– Audre Lorde
If
I ask
you a
question
He
said
Do you
promise
to tell
the truth?
Yes
She
lied
Does My Bum Look Big In This?
If
I ask
you a
question
She
said
Do you
promise
to tell
the truth?
Yes
He
lied
(Originally Posted 13.06.2020)
‘Why are you so sarcastic all the time?’
‘Cause it stops me killing people – including myself’
– Tony
And
then
He
did
Duped
You
must
never
leave
me
She
said
For
I
would
fall
apart
I’ll
stay
with
you
forever
He
said
I could
never
break
your
heart
(Originally Posted 08.06.2020)
I bumped into her
The other day
And it seems my prediction
Was right
As from what she said
He was so shit in bed
They didn’t even last
The night
Love’s Young Dream
Dance, you fools, dance
Dance far away from me
For I’ve seen all of the romance
That I need to see
I know only too well
How all this bullshit ends
Give it a year,
Maybe two,
And you won’t even be friends
(Originally Posted 08.06.2020)
Surely you must have known
He said
Not to fall in love with me
I just didn’t expect
She said
That it would happen so easily
I Love You
If I met you again,
For the first time,
I wouldn’t change a thing.
I’d do it all again,
Exactly the same,
Taking you under my wing.
But I should have,
if I could have,
told you that
I loved you
more.
Perhaps then
my life now
wouldn’t be
so difficult
to endure.
(Originally Posted 08.06.2019)
I’m
glad
I don’t
give
much
away
As if
I did,
you’d
never
come
back
Self Esteem
There’s
nothing
more
disheartening
That
brings
me
consternation
and
strife
Than
to find
I’m
more
captivating
On
the
page
Than
I could
ever be
in real life
(Originally Posted 07.06.2020)
You were all I had
When he died
And I didn’t know how to cope
I was driven mad
Each time I cried
And you were my only hope
‘The Boy’s No Good… ‘
As
I sit
and
listen
To each
word you
say
All
of my
pain
Simply
ebbs
away
(Originally Posted 06.06.2020)
I was trying to be polite back then
By calling you a ‘loathsome swine’
But since I have reflected
Something more apt springs to mind
(Never) Ending Hostilities
Whoever
told
me to
forgive
you was
wrong
There’s
no way
we can
ever
get
along
For
you
are
just a
loathsome
swine
Who
isn’t
a worth
second
of my
time
(Originally Posted 05.06.2020)
#CitizensNotSubjects
“I’m fine. I’m just being dramatic. It’s what I do.”
– Lorelai Gilmore
You may look remorseful now
And you may appear contrite
But let’s see how you act
When I tell them the fact
You nearly killed me that night
On Borrowed Time
You can sit there all you want
My friend
Picking at your thumbs
But you and I know
How this will end
When the day of reckoning comes
(Originally Posted 01.06.2021)
Even now I struggle
To lie on your side of the bed
I just wish you were in it
As often as you are my head
Xxx
A King Sized Longing
Lying in bed
Late at night
I turn over
With a sigh
I reach out
With my hand
But it’s now empty
Where you would lie
Xxx
(Originally Posted 31.05.2021)
I wish I could say
I’d never take you back
But if I did
I would be lying
You’ll always have a way
To knock me off track
Even without
You really trying
I Am My Own Temple
You only get one chance with me
And you blew it good and proper
Now it’s not about forgiveness
It’s all about my honour
(Originally Posted 30.05.2021)
I never did tell him the truth
Of where I went that day
But even though I did it
I’m glad I hid it
As I could never hurt him that way
Deceit
Lying to
myself
is bad
enough
But
lying
to you
hurts
more
But
there’s
no way
I could
be truthful
That’s
for
fucking
sure
(Originally Posted 29.05.2020)
Crying in the chapel
Many years ago
Missing you intently
And wishing it wasn’t so
Granite
I wish
you were
with me
Gently
squeezing
my hand
Providing
me with
comfort
Helping me
understand
(Originally Posted 28.05.2020)
I’d never use that word lightly
Or just for its shock value
In fact, I only ever use it rightly
And that’s when I’m describing you
Dumped
All
those
times
I was
there
for
you
I
never
asked
for a
thing
in return
Well
you’re
on your
own
You
self
righteous
cunt
So
now
perhaps
you’ll
learn
(Originally Posted 22.05.2020)
I had a lot of fun that day
And I looked beautiful too
Yet on the hour, every hour
I cried alone in the loo
Wedding Bells
Who knows
what will happen
when I get there.
Who knows
what will happen
along the way.
What I do know
is that you
won’t be there.
And my tears
will fall
all day.
(Originally Posted 21.05.2019)
‘Head’s in a whirlpool
Spinnin’ round and round
If she don’t get her man back
She’s gonna drown’
‘People disappoint.
Pizza is eternal.’
– Unknown
‘I’ll Be There For You…’
They
claim
that you’re
not on
your
own
But
it
certainly
feels
like
it
Over
time
they
will all
fade
away
While
you’re
still
wading
through
shit
(Originally Posted 15.05.2020)
I can tell
That there are posts
I’ve written to please
An audience
But there are a few
That make me freeze
As the pain I was in
Is obvious
It’s The Small Things That Hurt The Most
How long does it take
To reach for one mug
Or only set out one plate
To programme the heating
To click on at six
Instead of doing it myself at eight
To only buy
One pint of milk
Or get one lottery ticket
To stop saying hello
As I enter the house
Because you
Are no longer in it
(Originally Posted 14.05.2020)
Eating a sandwich
Outside one day
Someone shouted this
In a jokey way
I snapped back with the truth
And needless to say
They shut the fuck up
And walked away
Lost In Thought
“Cheer up, love!
You don’t know,
it might never happen.”
“I do
and it did.
So piss off.”
(Originally Posted 14.05.2019)
There’s nothing much
To add to this
Little else
That I can write
As the grief I felt
When you left
Will remain with me
For life
Xxx
A Thousand Years
Honestly,
I could wait
for a
thousand years
and it
would still
be too tough.
Honestly,
I could sleep
for a
thousand years
and it
would never
be enough.
Honestly,
I could cry
for a
thousand years
and it
would still
hurt too much.
(Originally Posted 11.5.2019)
Not only did I fail myself
But I also failed you too
I hope one day
You’ll forgive me
For everything I didn’t do
Xxx
Failure
I pride myself on my planning
I write lists day after day
I schedule my time wisely
So that nothing gets in the way
I prepare for every eventuality
Without a pause for breath
But the one thing I didn’t account for
Was your untimely death
Xxx
(Originally Posted 10.05.2021)
The reality
That is me
Rarely lives up
To the promise
That is why
I will always hide
If I am
Brutally honest
Fervour
I have written
All the words I need
Now I just have to press send
But as my finger hovers
I am scared
That our time together
Will end
(Originally Posted 10.05.2020)
It never ceases to amaze me
How blunt I was back then
It’s so clear to see
I wasn’t well, mentally,
When I read this one again
Another Day…
Another day of pretence dawns,
And my heart is full of dread.
Another chasm in my mind yawns,
And I wish that I was dead.
(Originally Posted 09.05.2019)
Now you’re not here
To cheer me on
I have lost my way a bit
I just need to remember
Those things you said
And try my best to get through it
You Make It Easy
It’s
not
really
you I
love
It’s
that
when
I am
with
you
You
make
it
easy
to
believe
The
lies
I tell
myself
are
true
(Originally Posted 08.05.2020)
You hide behind
All that shit you post
But you and I both know
You’re far more inclined
Someone else to quote
Than for your own thoughts to show
Blocked
Your
platitudes
irritate
me every
day
That’s
it
That’s
all
I wanted
to
say
(Originally Posted 05.05.2020)
Ramblings Of A Fragile Mind 
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