Self Torture

Back then my head

Was in such a mess

I couldn’t even wish myself

A peaceful death


Out With A Bang

What is this
stabbing pain
in my chest?

Why is it
causing me
such unrest?

Fingers
crossed it’s
a heart attack

Then I
can leave
this place

And never
come back

(Originally Posted 23.08.2019)

‘The Sleeping Death’

Who am I trying to kid

She said

If anyone comes for me

It’ll be the evil queen

She said

With a poisoned apple or three


Kissing Frogs

I sit here on the sofa

All alone

With the hope of love

Completely gone

Yet I dare to dream

That perhaps one day

My prince will come

To kiss the pain away

(Originally Posted 23.08.2021)

‘Four Seasons In One Day’

I’ve always been indecisive

But now it’s worse than ever

The back and forth is so divisive

I’m about as reliable as the weather


Confusion

No!
No!
No!

Yes!
Yes!
Yes!

How am
I supposed
to decide
what to do

When my
head’s
in such
a mess?

(Originally Posted 22.08.2019)

The Promise That Can’t Be Kept

He knew right then

As he watched

The tear fall from her eye

It was best to forget

And to just let

His feelings for her die


Silent Conversations

Not yet
but soon
she says,
as she makes her
way to the door

But when,
how soon
he asks
as he stares
at the floor

Not yet
but soon
she says,
as her head
is slowly bowed

But when,
how soon
he asks
will we
be allowed?

(Originally Posted 22.08.2019)

Keeping It Brief

It’s been ages since I’ve seen you

She said

How are you doing my friend?

Oh, things are fine with me

She said

Not wishing to offend


Distraction

Maybe I could see a friend

Or give them a call instead

It must be better than wrestling

With these demons in my head

(Originally Posted 22.08.2021)

The Chosen One

I have long wanted to end it all

But you were always so full of purpose

As most can attest

Fate is a fickle mistress

But did she really have to curse us?


Do You Hear Me?

I’m still angry

You see

That you died

Before me

It’s just not

The way

It was meant

To be

Xxx

(Originally Posted 21.08.2020)

A Different Box Of Tricks

There are other ways

To deal with pain

Instead of creating your own,

Again


Scissors

It’s time
to put you
back in
your box

To fasten
the lid
and change
the locks

I cannot
continue
down this
path

For if I
do there
is no way
back

(Originally Posted 21.08.2019)

Master Of None

I wouldn’t worry too much

He said

Not everything can be a hit

I’m still amazed that anything I write

She said

Doesn’t always turn out this shit


Old Hat

You’ve
been
on my
mind
today

More
than
any
other
time

If only
it had
inspired
something
epic

Rather
than this
fucking
awful
rhyme

(Originally Posted 21.08.2020)

Marry Me

Do you know what, fuck this shit

She said

I’ve had enough of being polite

I really think you’re it

She said

And not just for tonight


Unsaid

Wouldn’t
it save
all
this
fuss
and
bother

If we
were
just
honest
with
each
other?

(Originally Posted 20.08.2020)

Still A Fair Assessment

There’s nothing more to add to this

As there’s nothing more to say.

This may have been written,

Three years ago,

But it remains the truth today.


Two Sides

I lie
in your bed
and I lie
to your face.

I am a
public fraud
and a private
disgrace.

(Originally Posted 20.09.2019)

Leaving It Blank

“If you don’t have anything nice to say,

Then don’t say anything at all.”

So I didn’t.


Just An Empty Space

(Originally Posted 20.08.2019)

Long Sleeves All Year Round

You can work through your issues

Until they’re no longer discernable

But it’s important to remember

Not all the results are reversible


The Sting

If
I had
never
gone
down
this
path

It
wouldn’t
hurt
so
much
in the
bath

(Originally Posted 19.08.2020)

Good For You

You don’t even remember

The time of year

Let alone the date

You’ve moved on

Even though he’s gone

While all I can do is wait


Left

I
missed
you
again
today

Everyone
else
had
gone
away

And
it was
just me
here
alone

Crying
for the
love
I had
once
known

(Originally Posted 19.08.2019)

High School English Teachers

I remember everything about you

Your cardigan, glasses and quiff

If you weren’t so much older

Maybe I’d have been bolder

And asked you out forthwith


Last Chance

Despite my
protests
to the
contrary,
it has
always
been you.

Why not
meet me
at the
library,
and I’ll make
your dreams
come true.

(Originally Posted 19.08.2019)

Mixed Results

There are those cut out

For DIY

And those who simply are not

You were always one

Who may have had fun

But were never as good as you thought

Xxx


Precipice

Grab
onto
this

He
said

It’ll
be
okay

It’s
one
I made
myself

I’m
not so
sure

She
said

That
it’ll
be
safe

I’ve
seen
you
put
up a
shelf

(Originally Posted 18.08.2020)

You’ll Never See Me Again

The best thing that I ever did

Was my own fear to subdue

It may have took me a while

But nothing beats the smile

I now wear in spite of you


Soon

Life
has
been
so much
better
without
all your
bullshit
in it

Now
I know
for sure
that
I’ll soon
be removing
you
from
it

(Originally Posted 18.08.2019)

It’s Too Late For This Shit

So many nights stood there with you

With so much forced conversation

When all I wanted to do

Was go home for a brew

And enjoy my hibernation


Let Me Go

Please
just
walk
away
from
me

And
take
yourself
off
home

I
do
not
want
to talk
to you

I
want
to be
alone

(Originally Posted 18.08.2020)

A Common Law Wife

For someone who never married

He said

You write about it often enough

Perhaps I was wrong all those years

She said

His proposals to rebuff


The Disengagement Party

I saw you looking

Over dinner

Your smile discreet

Hers a winner

I realised there

Was something more

When she sashayed

To the dance floor

I knew it then

In revelatory style

It was obvious we’d never

Walk down the ailse

(Originally Posted 17.08.2020)

A Digital Death

You should be given a manual

For when your loved one dies

Not just on how to cope with grief

But practical advice

There’s so many things you have to do

When you’re under all that pressure

It’s no wonder some things are forgotten

And then they’re lost, forever


I Should Have Done It Back Then

The last link

Has been ripped away

Our final tether

Is severed

And all I can hear

Is your voice

Telling me

That I really should’ve done better

Xxx

Boys Don’t Cry – But I Did

A bit niche, perhaps…

But if you know, you know


‘Always So Lost In The Dark…’

It’s 10.15 on a Friday night and excitement builds all around.

Saturday Waits as the promise of Spidermen and Caterpillars abound.

Like all those Japanese Babies who tumbled through the gate,

I Burn for tales of Cagey Tigers, and dream of Dogs that Shake.

Then I am reminded, as I Move To The Beat,

Why you Imaginary Boys look good enough to eat.

I’m So Glad I Came. To be here On A Night Like This.

If only it could End with Just One (Strawberry) Kiss.

Yet out to The Edge Of The Green Sea I’m cast,

Wondering if this Lost and Lonely feeling will last.

The Cure
Bellahouston Park
Glasgow
16.08.2019

(Originally Posted 16.08.2019)

‘Taking Different Roads’

Ultimately,
I can’t
come
back

For an
earthly
body,
I now
lack

But
regardless
of that,
you should
know

I’ll
always be
with you,
wherever
you go


Love Lost

If I
promise
to love
you
more

Than
I ever
did
before

Would
you
come
back
to me?

Xxx

(Originally Posted 16.08.2020)

Nearly 25 Years Later

‘The Drugs Don’t Work’

Sang the man from Wigan

Just as I’d turned seventeen

Back then it was fun

As real life hadn’t begun

But now I know what he means


Quieten Down(er)

I’ll
take
anything
you’ve
got to
give

Drink,
smoke,
or sedative

As the
voices
inside
my head
these
days

Are
far too
competitive

(Originally Posted 15.08.2020)

Stick Your Tongue Out

You may be surprised

To learn in fact

This one doesn’t refer

To a suicide pact

It is actually based

On my favourite date

When we took MDMA

And left the rest to fate


Eternity

Counting the days
Counting the hours

You bring the wine
I’ll bring the flowers

Counting the minutes
Counting the seconds

We’ll both take a pill
As eternity beckons

(Originally Posted 15.08.2019)

Life Events

There were so many photos taken

Back in twenty nineteen

And I had to pose

All alone

With a gap where you should’ve been


Speechless

There is so much
I want to tell you

So many things
I want to share

But my tears flow
all over again

When I realise
you’re not there

(Originally Posted 15.08.2019)

Both Grinning And Bearing It

Yet I didn’t slip away

Quietly

I remained

And caused a fuss

I got my head down

And stuck around

To tell the story

Of us


‘Slip Away, Quietly’

All
happiness
is fleeting

All
sadness
is depleting

I am
no longer
competing

As from
sanity
I am
retreating

(Originally Posted 14.08.2019)

Buy Cheap Buy Twice

If only I had a pound

For each session that started like this

I wouldn’t need a whip-round

For a better therapist


On The Couch

What’s worrying you today,

He asks.

Everything,

I reply.

(Originally Posted 14.08.2020)

It Wasn’t Fun For Me

I will never answer

To you again

As what you called banter

I call pain


Sylvia’s Sister

Maybe I’ll drink until I’m sick

Maybe I’ll dance like a prick

Maybe I’ll smoke ten to the dozen

Maybe I’ll put my head in the oven

Either way one thing is true

It has got fuck all to do with you

(Originally Posted 14.08.2020)

New Job

It was about

My job this one

And how I could

No longer empathise

Even three years on

The desire is gone

And my apathy

Pretty hard to disguise


New Life

I’m still
nowhere
near the
same

She
said

Something
inside me has
permanently
changed

I can no
longer
play
this game

She
said

Unless a
new life
can be
arranged

(Originally Posted 14.08.2019)

Under The Influence

I must’ve overdone the happy pills

When I wrote this one

As I can’t believe

I’d ever conceive

Of something like this with none


Hard To Believe

When you find

It’s a struggle to cope

When it feels

Like you’ve lost all hope

Remember and try

To just hold on

For there will be

Better days to come

(Originally Posted 13.08.2021)

When It’s Only You That Sees It

I really don’t mind saying

That I’m actually quite proud of this

As it describes that employee

To an absolute tee

Despite the sweetness she emits


The Bake Sale

Bringing
along
a
flask of
coffee

And
your
frosted
homemade
cake

Doesn’t
make you
any more
likeable

Or any
less
fucking
fake

(Originally Posted 13.08.2020)

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